Michael Chad Hoeppner
speaker
93 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Michael Chad Hoeppner’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Most of the folks who think they're terrible communicators, they're not actually as bad as they think. And on the flip side, the people are like, ah, I communicate all day long, I'm great at this. Very often, they're not nearly as good as they think.
My funny answer to your question is that I think for both groups, their perception is not equal to reality. And what I mean by that is most of the folks who think they're terrible communicators, they're not actually as bad as they think. They have some sort of tape playing in their head about how bad they are in this situation. They can't tell stories. They can't tell jokes.
And usually they're being too hard on themselves. And on the flip side, the people are like, ah, I communicate all day long. I'm great at this. You know, I've been talking to groups my whole life. Very often, they're not nearly as good as they think.
The thing I see the most commonly, and I'll give it one big title, but then I'll show you how it manifests in a bunch of behaviors, is that people contract when they're in these higher stakes kind of communication situations. And I mean that technically.
They close their mouth more, they use their face in an expressive way less, they restrain their hand gestures, they collapse their posture, they breathe in a more limited way, they use less vocal variety, they use less dynamic enunciation, all of those things.
The problem with this is that what ends up happening is they don't look like more professional or more dignified or as though they're conveying more gravitas. No, they just look like a more limited version of themselves. bored by their topic, perhaps. And the assumption they make that I should be more serious or I should be more professional shoots them in the foot pretty badly.
That then manifests into a whole bunch of things, more monotone voice, faster rate of speech, more stumbles, more ums and uhs and filler, but you can trace a lot of that back to that first initial adjustment of contracting. And is that nerves? What causes that? Well, for some people, yeah, for sure.
I mean, I'll give you, you can think of the three evolutionary threat responses of fight, flight, or freeze. When you're giving a big presentation or you're at a networking event or whatever the thing might be, you can't fight anybody. There's no one to fight. You can't flight. You can't leave the room. So what do you do? Well, you freeze a little bit. But speaking is moving. To speak is to move.
We breathe in, our diaphragm moves down, our rib cage expands and moves out, and then we allow the air to flow over our vocal cords, our mouth moves in this tremendously dynamic way to enunciate words. Speaking is moving. So if those nerves and those anxieties manifest in freezing, what you're doing is, yes, contracting yourself quite dramatically. Other people contract for different reasons.
They might, as I suggested earlier, think it's more professional or dignified or something like this. And most of the time, in my experience anyway, it's just wrong.
Yeah, you ask a really important question. oftentimes they do prepare badly and it shoots them in the foot and i'll give you the primary culprit most people think of preparation as writing so they type a bunch of stuff or they write out all their comments but they're doing an activity that is completely different from what they're actually going to do in the moment which is speaking
So one of the first missteps people make is this writing first approach. And what I often coach people to do is something I call out loud drafting. And it is exactly like it sounds. As opposed to grabbing the laptop or a pad of paper to begin, No, stand up, walk around the room, and ask yourself some big open-ended prompt to get your ideas flowing.
Something simple like, if my audience were to walk away with one thing from this today, what would I want that to be? And then answer the question. Well, the first answer is gonna be bad. Fine, do it again. Second answer, a bit better. Third time you answer the same question, I promise you, you will already have come up with something that you can begin to work with.
Not only that, but it will sound more like how people actually use language in speaking. You will have come up with it with a muscle memory experience of relaxation and release as opposed to effort and tenseness. and you will already have started to loosely memorize what you want to say, and it's almost instant.
So once you've done it a few times, then sure, grab a pad of paper or grab your laptop at that point and jot a few notes, but begin the process by doing the thing you're eventually going to have to do anyway, which is speaking. So that's on the preparation side of things. But then when it actually comes to delivering your communication message, whatever it is, there's some pitfalls there too.
You want me to get into it? Yeah. So people try to correct problems, not just ineffective ways, but counterproductive ways. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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