Michael Henry

Oh, really?

That was good.

Ever been? What do you think? Atlanta BJ Roosters? Honey. What is it? That's my drag name.

I'm telling you, everywhere I go, I'm promoting BJ Roosters.

It's a male strip club.

Now that this is what it's, you know, remixed into.

There's private dances. There's. The biggest penises I've ever seen in my entire life are at. Get out of here. And they fly.

You think they're doing trimix?

It's like Weetabix. And you know you have to do an Afrin to make it go down. Yes.

Go ahead. I was going to say, in Montreal, they have a similar situation. I got a lap dance from this one dancer. When he was taking off his underwear, his dick was so hard, it flung pre-cum in my face. Oh, my God.

Basically.

Yeah. Well, there's one there. I think it's called campus and they go out, do a number where they're close and real enthusiastic. And then the next one, they're just fully naked.

We went to a dentist.

It was a gay bar. There was the houses, and one of the houses was turned into a dentist's office.

Of course it's got to be.

Why else do gay people kill each other?

She's reliving it. Sense memory. I had a great time, but I used teeth on guys' dicks sometimes. Oh, you're a chomper. I can't help it. Chomp.

I can't help it. My mouth only opens so big. I've got big teeth and a small mouth. Okay. But one guy flinched so hard, I was like, I'm so embarrassed. I just want to get in the water and swim to Boston. I was like... It was like, come on. Don't do this. Don't do me like this.

Suck, Forrest. Suck. Dear God, make me a bird. Suck my far, far, far away from here. Oh, my God.

When I was a kid, I would reenact this scene when she's on the ledge in the high heels.

That was country.

I was just going to say, she was like having a great time, New Year's Eve, beautiful heels. Halter top, I believe.

Well, you heard that Julia Roberts was supposed to play Harriet Tubman.

Who was supposed to be what? Julia Roberts. Harriet Tubman. This is actually true. In the 90s.

Read it as written.

Well, you know, they're doing whole talks now. Oh, I know. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to get a whole talks in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah. Yeah. How's the Fisher? Yeah.

It's great if someone else is driving. He had a great time. Was it a class B? Pardon me? So you didn't have to get a special license?

This was not freedom. No, this was prison.

The point is that you could drive some of the time. It would help me out a lot. See, you're not selling it on me.

Yeah. She's always trying to get on the bus.

You're not Irish. I don't have a thing against vehicles. It's me being behind the wheel.

damn i don't care that i use teeth it's almost like a problem a lot of people i feel like here though that would be like a hit i've had guys people are very into like well i've had guys ask me to chomp chompy chompy chompy yeah they said you bite it bite it harder yeah this is in the bathroom at the eagle bite it like a dog bone 100 yeah what's the worst hookup you ever had how much time you got

I film at the same parks that people cruise at at night. Such as? The Poinsettia.

Well, that's a huge one. Everyone knows that. That's the gay kickball park too.

Yeah.

Yes. Plummer Park. I film there too. And then Pan Pacific.

Some of the best sex I've ever had, I've been wasted. Yeah.

I'll do anything if I'm wasted.

So everywhere you cruise, I film.

Would you describe yourself as ran through? I would. Turned out. I think that's the fantasy he's trying to perpetuate. No, I do a lot of things. I do a lot of things. I don't do them well, but if you're drunk, you don't remember that you did it bad.

My anus has teeth. Aren't you married? Mm-hmm.

And sometimes I film for my comedy skits too. What about out of town cruising spots? Those are permitted. So can't.

I was in the vows, mama.

You were in the vows?

Well, what did you think about Kathy Hilton, her whole debacle two seasons ago, what she called the DJ and old faggot for not playing her song?

But I would love it if Kathy Hilton called me an old faggot. Me too.

5.

But really wanting... strawberry.

What about Applebee's? Is it comparable?

I've got an Applebee's gift card in my jacket.

Did you? Yeah, I worked there. Got fired. I got hit by a car on my way to work once there.

Go ahead. How did you guys get the idea for this travel project? it's basically a real life.

They hit me.

Exactly.

The pilot kicks you in the nuts.

Well, I don't know. I love spirit. I'll defend Delta till the day I die.

Well, the Southwest flight where the woman got sucked out the window, that was with a female pilot.

For Twitter and such. I saw someone who posted a shirtless photo of himself in the bathroom of the plane and he's like, paying for my flight right now.

No, suck dick with a flight attendant in the bathroom of the terminal like a normal person.

I really love the Real Housewives of Melbourne, and I just really want to meet them there.

So that's my thing. This could be huge for you.

It could be major. Major.

The hottest guys are Australian. Hello, did you see Steve Irwin's kid with the snake? What? I did see that. I did see that, yes. He did a photo shoot. It is underwear with snakes. And now he's on Dancing with the Stars. Thank God.

But why can't,

I heard that you're supposed to pee on someone.

If you don't want to get peed on, I could do it. I just did drink a gallon of water.

It's my dream.

Yes.

No, buddy. We'll do it.

This is my pitch to please pee on me.

Love that shit. And we have footage of it literally from the outside hitting the garage. And it looks almost slow-mo.

It knocks the top off. But yeah, our producer got on the roof and screamed. And he's like, fuck, fuck.

Rose? I mean, so much storage in an RV.

Oh my god, I ate so many snacks.

Pensacola, Florida. They have some fun gay stuff there. But as a whole, I think that we were looked at as a little bit like Martians.

A lot of brown teeth. We met some blue angels. What's that? They are like pilots that are just showmen.

Hot. Any ladies?

So much pussy.

May 22nd, OutTV, baby.

Yeah, come see us on tour. Come see us on tour. Okay, you faggots. Thank you.

Get limp to it.

I'm going to get a song. Watch Wish You Were Queer, May 22nd. You guys are like visual nasal spray. Yes. We are just like the- Afrin.

Straight men need to take Lamaze class so that they could poop easier. And also Metamucil.

Right.

Thank you, Senator Larry Craig. I've hooked up at an airport bathroom before.

Philly. What happened? It was a Grindr connection.

Every single detail. Literally, I'm always on Grindr at airports. Literally never hook up. But nobody can host. Well, unless you're at the bathroom at Philly airport and you hook up with a flight attendant. They know the most discreet terminals.

That's my thing. I don't want to hook up with a pilot because I don't want to hear any of the behind the scenes secrets. No.

Not in Christchurch, New Zealand.

I used to go to the bar across the street. Borders.

Amazing nachos.

We were at a venue once, and I know his cues, and he's queued up ready to do his number, and the sound person's just eating chips. I had to go up to him and be like, hit the button!

Only if she calls me a faggot on live TV. Wasn't that amazing? She said faggot on TV.

You missed this? It was amazing. Right before she went in space, she said bye faggot.

He says faggotry in his stand-up special. And she's quoting him. She's like, what? The faggotry is this? On Good Morning America. On Good Morning America. That's actually so fierce.