Michael Todd

I needed to talk about insecurities. OK, so I'll talk about it in the book, but I'll just I'll just sum it up right now. I had this revelation that I. Had become allergic to being good. I could only be great. I was in a situation when I was young where I was good at playing the drums at 12 years old. And I mean, I was really good.

I needed to talk about insecurities. OK, so I'll talk about it in the book, but I'll just I'll just sum it up right now. I had this revelation that I. Had become allergic to being good. I could only be great. I was in a situation when I was young where I was good at playing the drums at 12 years old. And I mean, I was really good.

And I was in our church back at the house and I was better than the drummer that played for our main service. Like the adult. Like the adult service. You know what I'm saying? And all I wanted at 12 years old is to play drums in the big church. That's what I called it. Playing drums at the big church. And the guy who was over all the music, he was like, you are really good.

And I was in our church back at the house and I was better than the drummer that played for our main service. Like the adult. Like the adult service. You know what I'm saying? And all I wanted at 12 years old is to play drums in the big church. That's what I called it. Playing drums at the big church. And the guy who was over all the music, he was like, you are really good.

And they were always giving me props and all the other stuff. But he would always let this older guy play that was not as good as me. And I would come every Tuesday, the only kid there for their rehearsals. And I'd be there with my sticks. I would come early. I'd make my parents drop me off. I know all the music and everything like that, but they would never let me play. And I did this for months.

And they were always giving me props and all the other stuff. But he would always let this older guy play that was not as good as me. And I would come every Tuesday, the only kid there for their rehearsals. And I'd be there with my sticks. I would come early. I'd make my parents drop me off. I know all the music and everything like that, but they would never let me play. And I did this for months.

Like, months. I knew all the music. I knew all the songs. I was hoping that he would just fall dead and just fall off the thing, and then I was able to catch it. I mean, this is in my 12-year-old mind, you know what I'm saying? But, like, I knew I could do it if somebody would just give me an opportunity, and they never let me play. And I remember being on that maroon chair.

Like, months. I knew all the music. I knew all the songs. I was hoping that he would just fall dead and just fall off the thing, and then I was able to catch it. I mean, this is in my 12-year-old mind, you know what I'm saying? But, like, I knew I could do it if somebody would just give me an opportunity, and they never let me play. And I remember being on that maroon chair.

And see, this is how subtle trauma can come into your life. And this is why we have to evaluate it. I remember sitting on a maroon chair in the back and I decided that being good was not good enough. I had to be great at everything. Because if I was great, they couldn't deny me. Like if I was great, there's no way they wouldn't let me do that.

And see, this is how subtle trauma can come into your life. And this is why we have to evaluate it. I remember sitting on a maroon chair in the back and I decided that being good was not good enough. I had to be great at everything. Because if I was great, they couldn't deny me. Like if I was great, there's no way they wouldn't let me do that.

And from that day on, at 12 years old, my engine changed. I couldn't be good at anything, okay? No, I'm not playing the game unless I'm gonna smash you. And now, this now seems like at that age, it seems endearing. It's like, wow, this young man is, wow, he's proactive and he's gifted and he's moving, he's hungry. And so now I'm getting attention from it. And now I'm getting accolades from it.

And from that day on, at 12 years old, my engine changed. I couldn't be good at anything, okay? No, I'm not playing the game unless I'm gonna smash you. And now, this now seems like at that age, it seems endearing. It's like, wow, this young man is, wow, he's proactive and he's gifted and he's moving, he's hungry. And so now I'm getting attention from it. And now I'm getting accolades from it.

And now I'm getting, so it's like, oh, this is great. I made the right decision. Like I'll never be good. Nothing good is good. I will only be great. So my car had to be great. My business had to be great. My wife had to be great. My family had to be great. My everything had to be great. And this served me for almost 20 years.

And now I'm getting, so it's like, oh, this is great. I made the right decision. Like I'll never be good. Nothing good is good. I will only be great. So my car had to be great. My business had to be great. My wife had to be great. My family had to be great. My everything had to be great. And this served me for almost 20 years.

until I reached this level of success and everybody wants me to come speak and everybody wants me to do this. And we found out that my only son had autism. So now my wife is broken. She's depressed. I'm confused. I'm the guy that's supposed to have crazy faith, but I can't do anything about my son. He's no longer looking at us. He's not saying any words. His younger sister's developing past him.

until I reached this level of success and everybody wants me to come speak and everybody wants me to do this. And we found out that my only son had autism. So now my wife is broken. She's depressed. I'm confused. I'm the guy that's supposed to have crazy faith, but I can't do anything about my son. He's no longer looking at us. He's not saying any words. His younger sister's developing past him.

Like he's peeing and pooping on himself every day. What's going on? And now my motor is I have somebody here that looks like me that's not great. And it's not even good. I don't know how to process this. So now I'm going to go and I'm going to make more money. I'm going to da-da-da-da-da. But my wife needs me.

Like he's peeing and pooping on himself every day. What's going on? And now my motor is I have somebody here that looks like me that's not great. And it's not even good. I don't know how to process this. So now I'm going to go and I'm going to make more money. I'm going to da-da-da-da-da. But my wife needs me.

I have the person I've loved for my whole life sitting here saying, I don't care if we have any more money. I need my husband. I need you to sit with me. And I'm like, well, you sit there, but I got to like, because now my motor to be great is no longer what's going to help me. If I would have taken all the dates, if I would have kept going, I would have lost my wife and my family.

I have the person I've loved for my whole life sitting here saying, I don't care if we have any more money. I need my husband. I need you to sit with me. And I'm like, well, you sit there, but I got to like, because now my motor to be great is no longer what's going to help me. If I would have taken all the dates, if I would have kept going, I would have lost my wife and my family.