Michelle Williams

I knew that some of the stories, the narratives that I'd been told of what it meant to be a girl and what it meant to be a woman did not feel right in my body. I really struggled with some components of Mormon culture that I experienced as a reprimand to be smaller, to be quieter, to be a follower and not a leader. I knew that I didn't want that, but I still had these

you know, just like the imprint of that incredibly patriarchal upbringing that made it very hard for me to even understand that there was another way to live. I assumed somebody needed to be in charge of me. I needed some structure, some leadership, some degree of something I could plug into some organization where I could feel like I was participant.

you know, just like the imprint of that incredibly patriarchal upbringing that made it very hard for me to even understand that there was another way to live. I assumed somebody needed to be in charge of me. I needed some structure, some leadership, some degree of something I could plug into some organization where I could feel like I was participant.

you know, just like the imprint of that incredibly patriarchal upbringing that made it very hard for me to even understand that there was another way to live. I assumed somebody needed to be in charge of me. I needed some structure, some leadership, some degree of something I could plug into some organization where I could feel like I was participant.

And the Marine Corps was, you know, I just describe it, it was another religion for me.

And the Marine Corps was, you know, I just describe it, it was another religion for me.

And the Marine Corps was, you know, I just describe it, it was another religion for me.

Yes. Well, actually, I openly disclosed it because I wasn't sure if it would disqualify me.

Yes. Well, actually, I openly disclosed it because I wasn't sure if it would disqualify me.

Yes. Well, actually, I openly disclosed it because I wasn't sure if it would disqualify me.

About the same thing that I heard any time I tried to get help for my eating disorder once it resurged and became significantly worse once I was in, which is, well, you're not really skinny enough to have an eating disorder, so it's probably not that bad. The recruiter said something pretty similar. Well, you look fine.

About the same thing that I heard any time I tried to get help for my eating disorder once it resurged and became significantly worse once I was in, which is, well, you're not really skinny enough to have an eating disorder, so it's probably not that bad. The recruiter said something pretty similar. Well, you look fine.

About the same thing that I heard any time I tried to get help for my eating disorder once it resurged and became significantly worse once I was in, which is, well, you're not really skinny enough to have an eating disorder, so it's probably not that bad. The recruiter said something pretty similar. Well, you look fine.

CHIT is a medical order from a doctor that exempts you from physical duty to some degree. For example, if you're on CHIT, you might be on CHIT to not run for a while while your ACL is mending, something like that. Here's a neat little tip from a misinformed corporal during a nutrition briefing. So nearly entirely wrong. It felt like being sandpapered.

CHIT is a medical order from a doctor that exempts you from physical duty to some degree. For example, if you're on CHIT, you might be on CHIT to not run for a while while your ACL is mending, something like that. Here's a neat little tip from a misinformed corporal during a nutrition briefing. So nearly entirely wrong. It felt like being sandpapered.

CHIT is a medical order from a doctor that exempts you from physical duty to some degree. For example, if you're on CHIT, you might be on CHIT to not run for a while while your ACL is mending, something like that. Here's a neat little tip from a misinformed corporal during a nutrition briefing. So nearly entirely wrong. It felt like being sandpapered.

If you want to lose weight, pick your goal weight and add a zero to it. And that's how many calories you should eat in a day. Intriguing. That allotted me 970 calories a day. If you want to mess up your head even faster, run 16 miles and still only eat your goal weight plus zero calories. Then you too can wake up in the middle of the night with hunger kneading your stomach from the inside.

If you want to lose weight, pick your goal weight and add a zero to it. And that's how many calories you should eat in a day. Intriguing. That allotted me 970 calories a day. If you want to mess up your head even faster, run 16 miles and still only eat your goal weight plus zero calories. Then you too can wake up in the middle of the night with hunger kneading your stomach from the inside.

If you want to lose weight, pick your goal weight and add a zero to it. And that's how many calories you should eat in a day. Intriguing. That allotted me 970 calories a day. If you want to mess up your head even faster, run 16 miles and still only eat your goal weight plus zero calories. Then you too can wake up in the middle of the night with hunger kneading your stomach from the inside.

I nod my knuckles in my sleep. I woke up with blood on my pillow, noting with mild interest I was resorting to self-cannibalism. I turned the pillow over. I routinely slept with ice packs on bare shins. The frostbite blended in with other scars, mottled like blue bark. Damn, Williams, you must be the first Marine to get frostbite in Monterey, and NCO laughed. I laughed along. Hilarious.