Mike Carruthers

Like you really have to say, okay, I'm now going to do my super communication thing.

Because so much of what we say to other people is just a reaction.

It just blurts out.

It's not this thoughtful, do you want to hug?

It's just whatever you say.

How do you have one of those kinds of conversations that you're talking about, a very thoughtful trying to understand what the other person is saying and get them, when they're not on the same page as you are?

They want to fight or they want to argue or they want to just tell you what they think.

How do you get them on your page when they're so not?

If I'm new to this, because I'm new to this, help me get into that frame of mind.

I'm going to have a conversation with you, and I want to do what you're talking about.

How do I, if I'm initiating, how do I approach it to...

I imagine it's not just me, but I've had that experience of feeling much more super communicator-ish in some conversations than others.

Like I'm really nailing it and getting it.

But clearly you can do it deliberately in following some of your suggestions, be much better at it and be much more consistent at it.

Well, as somebody who's in the communication business, I always enjoy these conversations where you peel the onion back and dissect the elements of communication and see how it works.

This has been great.

I've been speaking with Charles Duhigg, and the name of his book is Super Communicators, How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.

And if you'd like to read it, you can buy it at Amazon.

And there's a link to his book at Amazon in the show notes.

Appreciate it, Charles.