Mike Danforth
Appearances
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, so what solutions have you come up with?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
That's really cool. I'm just trying to think if we could use that in our work emails, how much effort it would take to get everybody on board. I'm going to try it.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had it, Sam, where you're running and someone passes you and they indicate they're coming in a clever way?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Hey, Steve. How are you? Good. We're calling to check in on you and you guys fast.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Have you, Steve, had any incidents where you've slipped and it's bitten you?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
I guess so, yeah. Steve, when you pulled those two aside, did you say to them, hey, you guys...
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Never.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
You're pretty fast. We get it.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Oh, I like that one. And here's Ari. Ari has even more ideas.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah. Well, thank you, Ari. Thanks for all these ideas. This is great.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Hina, is your mic open? Hina, how have you done?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
She's on a, yeah, what is the opposite of a fast?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, she's on a you rampage. Well, that does it for today's show. What did we learn today, Mike? Well, I learned that that sound, the dun-dun sound from Law & Order, is actually a bunch of sounds smashed together.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah. How is that an effect that is just like available for use?
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HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Do you think that those people are like with their friends or with their family and they're like, hold on, hold on. Listen, this is it. This is me. This is me right here. Or a bug walks by. They stomp it.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Wait a minute. Do that again. How to Do Everything is produced by Hina Srivastava. Technical direction from Lorna White.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, Mark, we really appreciate everything, everything you've done.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
You can send us your questions. Send them to us at howtoatnpr.org. We promise we read all our emails obsessively. It's honestly, it's weird.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Don't you feel like that's the solution, though? We should come up with like a surefire way to indicate your presence that is not threatening, that it's almost it's excited. You're like happy to hear that noise.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Someone who passes a lot of people while running is Olympic bronze medalist marathoner Molly Seidel. Molly, is this something you've dealt with?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, it does feel like maybe that's a use for your Olympic medal is that you could clang it as you run by people.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Do they ever say anything to you at the very end? Like, you got me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Do they make running shoes with taps on them? Like tap shoes? With some sort of noise. Yeah, you're like a noisy presence all the time.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Hey, Sam, what can we help you with?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
For some people, that'd probably be a benefit. It'd be great. Be appreciated.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah. But please go on.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Composer Mike Post seems like the perfect guy to help. Mike has a new album out. It's called Message from the Mountains and Echoes of the Delta. But relevant to Sam's question, Mike composed this sound. Hello? Hey, is this Mike? Yep. Hey, it's Mike and Ian from NPR calling. How are you?
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HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Oh, I'm doing great. How are you guys?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
We're terrific. Where are you? Where are you on your journey?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Oh.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
I guess if we were to imagine what Mike Post would be doing, that's what we would imagine he'd be doing. Well, yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
That's correct. Do I have that right? That's precisely correct. At the 11th hour, just before the dub is finished, I've already completed all my work. Everybody's real happy with what I did. And he calls me up and says, hey, I'm going to... Date stamps, scene changes, and I need a sound to mark that. And I said, great, call sound effects because I'm your composer. I don't do sounds.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
I do music, you know. And, you know, he and I are dear friends. So he goes, hey, come on. I need a favor. God, why do you, you know, come on. And I said, all right, all right, all right. So I got a bunch of samples of it, jail doors slamming in it. guy hitting an anvil with a ball-beating hammer and a bunch of men in Japan stomping on a wood floor and, you know, all these weird sounds.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
And, you know, it took us about five, six hours to come up with that ching-ching, dun-dun, dong-dong, ding-ding, whatever the hell you want to call it down there. And so I sent it over to the dub stage and Dick goes, man, this is perfect. I've never heard anything like this. This is exactly right. And about a year later, he sends me a note. He goes... You know, isn't it funny?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
All the great music you've written and on your tombstone will be done, done or ding, ding. And you didn't even want to do it, you stupid idiot. You know, and I was right about that. So, yeah, that's how the sound came about. And, you know, I don't know if. anybody cares or anything, but I was a runner for a long time, for 30 years.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
And, you know, I guess you could carry a little device on your phone. You could play back dun-dun, ching-ching, whatever you call that thing. I guess you could do that, except I think that because of law and order and the darkness of the subject matter, I mean... I don't know if that would calm... It has the opposite effect. Yeah, I'm not sure that would calm anybody. I will tell you this.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
About the third or fourth year of Law & Order, the original, I got the sweetest, kindest note from a principal from a high school in Cleveland, Ohio. And she writes me this note, and she says, I'm writing this note to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I work in an urban environment. It's a pretty tough school. And she goes, there's a lot of discipline problems.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
And she goes, when I have to call Johnny or Sarah to the principal's office, she goes, it was always over the intercom. Johnny Jones, please come to the principal's office. And, you know, she goes... Since law and order, I preface all those calls to the principal's office with, and she goes, my discipline problems have gotten exponentially better because it strikes fear into their hearts.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yes, right.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
I just, I cracked up. I thought that was one of the nicest notes I've ever heard.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
A jail door slamming, yeah. It's a bunch of different things put together, yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
No, stomping on a hardwood floor in a gymnasium and a guy hitting an anvil with a hammer.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
You know, one of the sweetest things to me, in my mind, you could do is bird's chirping.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Or the sound of a little kid's bell on his tricycle, kinking, that sound.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Right? Or simply, simply, hello.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Okay. A soft greeting.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yes, a soft greeting, you know.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Okay.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Laughter.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, but on the other hand, that's not so friendly when you're passing somebody.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this question. My understanding is that is a song. That sound effect or sound, that little five-second bit is actually a song. Is that right?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Well, it's not a song, but it is a piece of music. And if you're asking do I get paid a royalty every time any piece of music plays, yeah, every time any piece of my music is played, even one second of it, There's a small little royalty that's paid through a performing rights organization. I happen to be a BMI writer, so yes.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Fantastic.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
There is a royalty, yes.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
So Mike, does that then, that five-minute piece, does it have a name that's registered at BMI?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Yes, we call it a card stand.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Oh, that's kind of boring. It doesn't have like a cool name?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
No, it has a cool name on a T-shirt. It has a cool name when people, you know, talk to me about it. Yeah. Or Ching Ching, because I'm making a little money on it.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
I'm glad to do it. You know, I'm a big fan of what you guys do radio-wise. That's for darn sure.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Mark Artham. And then here again, just because we want to see what it sounds like, here it is again, but this time with a hundred men in Japan stomping on a wooden floor. If you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can email us at howtoatnpr.org.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
Or maybe your zipper's down or you see somebody who's zipper's down and you want to know how to tell them that. We can help you with that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
We invited you all to do this with us. And we've heard from a ton of people who are joining us who've already started doing it and even have some tips. Hello. Hello, Carol.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Friendliest Sound in the World, with Olympic medalist Molly Seidel
We're just calling to check in on you on the You Guys Fast. How are you doing with that?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
So you could see the other kids yawning?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Oh, my. What class was it, Clementine, that was so boring that the teacher yawned?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Have you, have you had, have you had this experience before where you've seen someone yawn and then you yourself have yawned?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Oh really? Do you, when else has it happened?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Yeah. And is your mom there right now? Did she hear you say that? And did she yawn?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
And if you're tired, now feels like a good time to take a nap. Really, for any of us.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
It all makes sense. It makes sense. There is so much yawning that happened a few minutes ago that it's natural. It feels natural to take a nap.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
All right, we have looked into this, and we discovered someone who has researched yawns. It's Mariska Kret, who we actually talked to a few episodes ago.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Yeah, email. Send us the time where you first yawned. And we're going to keep track of all the yawns that we've created here among the audience.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
We can create a global yawn map.
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
That's so interesting. Do we know what Darwin was afraid of?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Really?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Is yawning contagious between species? Like if my cat yawns and I see it, am I likely also to yawn?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Oh, interesting. Okay.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
I wonder, would that be a good way if you're on a date with somebody that you're just getting to know and you want to see, is that a good test to yawn and see if that person yawns? And if they don't yawn, there's a pretty good chance they're a psychopath.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Really?
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
That's not encouraging.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Well, that does it for this week's show. What'd you learn, Ian?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
But it seems antithetical to a threat coming that you should yawn.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
You're sending a message that you're not afraid, too. So not only does it calm your mind, but it also gets in the head, maybe, of the person who's coming at you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Right before it eats you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
I'm going to try that like the next time I go out to eat, right? Or I'm at a bakery and I can just get that smell. It just go all out, just wide-eyed, open my mouth, just suck it all in and see how that enhances the experience.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
How to Do Everything is produced by Hinesh Ravastava with technical direction from Lorna White.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Once again, get us your questions. You can send them to us at howtoatnpr.org.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Let me ask you this question, then. Has anyone ever heckled you from stage, and you've, like, they were right?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Okay, okay. So that's the attitude we should adopt when it comes to Ed and his, like you guys would have a clue, email. Yeah. Like, you guys would have a clue.
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
That's your impenetrable armor? Just terrible self-esteem. That's it, huh? Take that, Ed. This is How to Do Everything. I'm Mike.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
But first, hey, Mary, what can we help you with?
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
And yet... Have you had that experience of hearing yourself on tape?
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Can you do an impression of how you sound when you hear yourself?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
James Austin Johnson does a bunch of impressions on Saturday Night Live. You probably know him for Donald Trump.
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
So what's that process like then when you're honing a voice or an impression?
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Hello. Hello, Pat. Hey. Hey, it's Mike and Ian from NPR's How to Do Everything calling. Hey, how you doing, man? We got a couple emails from you, our listeners, and we weren't exactly sure how to respond. So we're calling up comedian Pat Noswalt.
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Oh, that's great. Well, James, thank you so much for talking to us and for helping Mary out. Yeah, you got it.
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HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
James Austin Johnson is a cast member on Saturday Night Live. SNL returns with an all-new episode this Saturday and will celebrate its 50th anniversary with a primetime special on Sunday, February 16th, live on NBC and on Peacock. Do you have Peacock, Ian?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
The range we heard when it comes to the guesses was as many as seven or 21 moans.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
And you'll soon have a t-shirt rewarding you for that dinosaur ear. This is, of course, our last episode of this season, but we're still, our email box still works. So if you have questions, you can send them to us at howtoatnpr.org. We will still be reading those emails.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
Yeah, for those of you who like this show and also like Zoom meetings...
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: Heckling, Yawning, and Imitating, with James Austin Johnson and Patton Oswalt
We're pretty sure we're being heckled.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
And is this like a special sports performance olive oil or is this just go to the grocery store?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
We're still in the midst of our you guys fast. We're attempting to eliminate you guys and hey guys from our vocabularies. All of us here at How To have been failing. Well, we've had mixed results. But I think we've each at least had one failure in front of the others, which has been humiliating.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
And here's Alyssa. Alyssa called in with a different take on this whole concept.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
It's a really interesting point. And we sort of neutralize it by using it more.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Oh, man. That's great. How long have you had this set up like this? Probably about three years or so. And how often do you think it autocorrects for you?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
I love a five folks burger. Yeah.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Where it almost... In my memory, you didn't change hugs to I love you. You changed whenever I typed Ian.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
I like the idea that James Patterson could just help you with anything.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
How to Do Everything is produced by Hina Shravastava with technical direction from Lorna White. Our intern this week is Suzanne Weiss. Suzanne, look out. There's someone with a plate of very sharp knives behind you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
If I were to, if I were to go back and watch, uh, this race, the footage, would I say, you know what? BYU looks shinier than all the other runners on the start line. Yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Get us your questions for this season while you still can at howtoatnpr.org. That's Ian, and I'm Mike.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Hey, Charlie. What can we help you with?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Can you give us a synopsis of what you do have, I guess, of the first couple acts?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
With that setup, the zombies, it really is deus ex machina. It's a real twist.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
And is her family also umbrellas, or is it a human family she lives with?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Gillian is the author of Gone Girl, Sharp Objects, Dark Places. So Gillian, you have the story. You've got this umbrella, this family that doesn't want to go outside. Where does this take you? Okay.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
they don't like going outside as like they're agoraphobic or they just don't like yeah i don't know if it's a pathology but they they definitely just wants to be outside they don't just wanted to check for for plot purposes and he sort of doesn't know where to begin do you do you begin with an ending or do you begin with something you know where where does it start for you
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
When you put it that way, it's sort of, it's almost as if Bella is a prisoner in this home. And there's something dark about this family, actually.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Also, I'm sure Bella is aware that opening an umbrella inside is terrible luck for the humans. I love that. She could curse them by just opening herself.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Yes.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
I'll bring you in, yeah.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
James Patterson, you heard what Charlie has, the beginning, and we understand you have taken this on and written him some endings. Can you walk us through them?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
My goodness. I understand how you have written more than 200 novels.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
You think we have a series here?
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
That's where we get email from you when you write in to howtoatnpr.org. And we should say we are coming up... hurtling towards the end of this season of How to Do Everything. Just two episodes after this one. Two episodes left. So if you have a pressing problem, now is the time to get it to us.
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HTDE: The Perfect Christmas Present with James Patterson and Gillian Flynn
Your welfare between our seasons, between seasons of this show, is not our responsibility. As much as we would like it to be.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Hey, if you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can send it to us. We have one show left. What episode left to answer your questions? Send them to us at howtoatnpr.org.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Don't worry about it.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
And if you're still considering it, please don't get in the fridge.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
The sun set there on November 18th, and it won't come up again until January 22nd.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Denis Barkats is an astrophysicist who wintered over in Antarctica... Denis, can you tell us what your experience was like? Sure.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Well, that does it for this week's show. What'd you learn, Ian?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, because gross.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
You'd bring in a beehive in your house.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
People are placing money bets. We have a range of guesses for what the possible answer is.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Again, only the parts they can carry. How to Do Everything is produced by Hina Srivastava with technical direction by Lorna White.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
And I'm Mike. Thanks.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Hey, it's Mike and Ian calling. How are you?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Hey there. Hey, Caitlin. Well, we have an answer.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Do you want to restate what your guesses are?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
So let's get the answer. Dr. Treanor, can you start by telling us how you're qualified to answer Maureen's question?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Don't go in the fridge.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
So what do you think, Dr. Treanor? What's the answer?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Whoa. How... Wait a minute, though. You said the parts they... Can't remove. What parts can they remove?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
So it's like a little... So propolis is a... No, go ahead.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
All right. Thank you, Dr. Traynor, for helping settle this for Maureen. This is fantastic.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
So joining us now to answer as many of your questions as we can get to is a very qualified expert. It's Jesse Eisenberg. He's a writer, director, co-star of the new film, A Real Pain.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Do you, Jesse, have an experience or a memory of a specific time that woke you up in the middle of the night when you remember like, oh man, why did I keep talking like that?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
This is How to Do Everything. I'm Mike.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Wow. Okay. But as a type of therapy, that doesn't work, I guess, because it still sticks with you.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
All right, let me find another question here that is, again, shouldn't have any trauma associated with it. Okay. This is from a listener named Reagan. How do I get the mildew smell out of jeans? Do you have any good laundry hacks?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Let me ask you this question. How clean—again, this is not meant to be a personal question, but do you regularly clean your refrigerator and freezer? Like, is your freezer in pretty good shape?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Hey, just interrupting the interview real quick to say absolutely do not get in that fridge. That is a terrible idea. Whatever you do, don't get in that fridge. We just have to kind of explore this. So do you just push and the door opens or are you ever trapped in there?
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
For anyone listening who's heard what Jesse has to say, we want to tell you, please don't get in your fridge. Don't go in there.
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HTDE: Don't Get in the Fridge, with Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg, he's great. You love his movies. Terrific director. He's terrible at suggesting places to go inside.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
We're a band of extraterrestrial war gods that has been banished to the planet Earth for all the crimes they committed in outer space.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
I inherited mine. I am Balzac, the Jaws of Death.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
And I was the third Jaws of Death. There had been a couple incarnations because the first few shows that GWAR played, it was just a collective of whatever artists and musicians they could grab from VCU and the surrounding areas to throw on these costumes and do a show.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like, my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the jaw of death and his grandfather before me.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
No, they made us go around the whole studios, and I think... Yeah, they were kind of using us to scare their co-workers.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
I do. I bartend, and I'm one of the managers there.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
That's right.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
Yeah. Yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
But I know that they have strict rules against fraternization between the players. So I'm thinking it's the he broke his toes.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
Well, it sounds like a very GWAR answer, so having the rubber dummy of the opposing quarterback is... Yeah, it could be inspired by GWAR.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
I don't know. Cats don't have this super sensitive smell like dogs.
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WWDTM: GWAR, Gretchen Whitmer, Josh Gad, Kara Jackson, and Amber Maykut
We're trusting these people are obviously more intelligent than us.
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WWDTM: GWAR
It's a theatrical shock rock, shock heavy metal band that is very performative on stage. And we are satirical, funny, theatrical show that involves a lot of costuming and set pieces and phony executions.
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WWDTM: GWAR
We're also from outer space, though. We have a more narrative.
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WWDTM: GWAR
Gore's a band of extraterrestrial war gods that has been banished to the planet Earth for all the crimes they committed in outer space.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I was the third Jaws of Death. There had been a couple incarnations because the first few shows that Gore played, it was just a collective of whatever artists and musicians they could grab from VCU and the surrounding areas to throw on these costumes and do a show.
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WWDTM: GWAR
So originally, I was Beefcake the Mighty, who was the bass player.
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WWDTM: GWAR
Yeah, and I did create the character along with Don Drakulic, who's one of the artists in the band. You know, just sort of developed it over time. Now I am the singer, following the passing of the original lead singer, Dave Brockie, who everybody knows and loves. And I came back, and now I play the Berserker Blothar.
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WWDTM: GWAR
It's really odd. We usually have the characters to put on and to hide behind, and so we always know how to behave. We never really had to just be ourselves. Right.
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WWDTM: GWAR
No, they made us go around the whole studios, and I think Michael was on... What were they recording?
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WWDTM: GWAR
Do they recognize you? We'll get people in there all the time. I'll be bartending, and people will come up and ask me, like, so do the guys in GWAR ever hang out here? And I'm always like, not very often. No.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
But I know that they have strict rules against fraternization between the players. So I'm thinking it's the he broke his toes.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
Well, it sounds like a very gore answer. So having the rubber dummy of the opposing quarterback is...
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WWDTM: GWAR
I don't know. Cats don't have a super sensitive smell like dogs.
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WWDTM: GWAR
Well, they've got that thing where they go... All right, all right.
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WWDTM: GWAR
We're trusting these people are obviously more intelligent than us.