Mike Della Rocha

Whatever you do, resist the urge to kick him right in the Pokeballs.

Instead, when it comes to transmitted diseases, you're down to catch them all.

That's when you slide in the number to the loser line, so hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

what they always say, right?

If it turns you on, it probably turns your mom on, too.

Oh.

Now I'm also picturing the girl with her arm stuck in the claw machine crying in the middle of a Dave and Buster's and her friend is just making out with some guy by Street Fighter.

Good for her.

Next message.

I have to apologize to you because I know we were supposed to meet up last night after the bars closed at like 2 a.m.

And you said, bring the whipped cream.

And I was like, okay, I will.

Just always remember to check expiration dates.

Bye.

Yeah.

That's not the mental image most guys want.

I was about to give you a mental image you would never forget.

Two things you should definitely always check are food expiration dates and our social media.

Oh, for sure.