Milam Byers

And hoping, you know, it wasn't that.

Right.

It wasn't anything to do with Josh.

Well, you talked yourself out of it too.

Yeah, I'm just, you know.

So, you know, after that's just like a whirlwind that, you know, I knew nothing at this time about trauma and the effects of trauma on your brain and like all the things that I would,

later have to work through but um through counseling and a lot of like godly help years later i was able to understand that my trauma which happens in a in a split second like if you see a car accident or you see someone getting killed or you walk in on a family member like

when you experience horrific things, which I had not, I was not there.

But my trauma had happened in the airport because I had to be the one, I had to be the messenger.

And it was only until I found a counselor who worked for the VA, because they do provide Gold Star families with free counseling.

And this was like eight or nine years later.

And he told me, he's like, Milam, that's not normal.

Like you don't have a typical like Gold Star Brothers story.

Like what happened to you is not okay.

And so we started digging at that time and he had asked me, he's like, weren't you in a band?

Like, did you ever write songs?

Did you ever write the music?

Did you do any of those things?

And I was like, yeah, I did.

And he's like, well, how many songs have you written since July of 2003?