Miles Johnson

Hello. This is an impression of a guy who's trying to be threatening, but he forgot his gun. All right, here it is. Are we gonna have a fucking problem here, pal? You wanna take it here, dipshit? Shit like that. I've been jerking my dick crazy. I've been watching these JOI videos. Have you guys seen these? JOI. A lot of guys playing Ray Charles right now. That's all right. That's all good.

It's cool. It's always white ladies, though. I notice it's always white ladies in the JOI videos. Short for jerk-off instruction, by the way. For cowards and women, it's short for jerk off instruction. Can I finish it? Okay. I think it's always white ladies in the JOI videos. I think it'd be cool if it was an old black lady. Go ahead, beat your dick off now, baby. Come on now. Come on, baby.

Thank you.

Yeah. Probably my skin, and then...

Oh, God.

Yeah, I can play the one and the five basketball joke.

Yeah.

You're like, you guys never heard of that before? Yeah.

Well, I mean, I've been watching them. I never learned how.

I didn't have a fucking dad. I never thought I learned how to jerk off.

It's tough, dude. I was trying that shit. Hell yeah.

Mom, this shit doesn't fucking work, mom.

Chess club, bro, the fuck? I like swole as fuck. No, I mean, I like, I meditate and shit. It's not funny. It's badass. I like meditate. Meditate? Did you get into that in prison or something like that? Yeah, I used to be a black disciple. I tried to riff. I don't know how to do it. You're good.

Would you fuck Wendy Williams?

That's badass.