Mireille Silcoff

But then if I'm going to talk about a bit lower down in my body, some kind of like different self-knowledge, I think that I always somewhere believed or had some notion that somehow I was going to get out of the thing that I had been told I was never going to get out of.

But then if I'm going to talk about a bit lower down in my body, some kind of like different self-knowledge, I think that I always somewhere believed or had some notion that somehow I was going to get out of the thing that I had been told I was never going to get out of.

When my ex-husband and I divorced, I really thought that I was going to live a very quiet life and of Orange Pico Tea and Masterpiece Theater. And taking care of my children and once in a while having a nice dinner with a friend and reading a lot of good books and taking walks. And that was what life was going to be like for me.

When my ex-husband and I divorced, I really thought that I was going to live a very quiet life and of Orange Pico Tea and Masterpiece Theater. And taking care of my children and once in a while having a nice dinner with a friend and reading a lot of good books and taking walks. And that was what life was going to be like for me.

In a way, I was accepting an older version of what it meant to be middle-aged, which means that middle age is kind of the opening to senescence. You know, it's the opening to becoming an old person. You know what I mean? Gray hair with a cane, whatever. I had a cane, right? So, you know, so I had that kind of idea that that's what would happen post-divorce.

In a way, I was accepting an older version of what it meant to be middle-aged, which means that middle age is kind of the opening to senescence. You know, it's the opening to becoming an old person. You know what I mean? Gray hair with a cane, whatever. I had a cane, right? So, you know, so I had that kind of idea that that's what would happen post-divorce.

And instead what happened was that my life exploded in a detonation of sex confetti. Okay.

And instead what happened was that my life exploded in a detonation of sex confetti. Okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think I felt very much... like Rip Van Winkle in a way, you know, like I was emerging from a long sleep or like I was some weird raw worm kind of emerging from the earth blinking, like what in the world is going on? I went from being someone who had been chronically, chronically ill for 15 years to somebody who had,

I think I felt very much... like Rip Van Winkle in a way, you know, like I was emerging from a long sleep or like I was some weird raw worm kind of emerging from the earth blinking, like what in the world is going on? I went from being someone who had been chronically, chronically ill for 15 years to somebody who had,

had a cushion around her brain and could jump and could run and could be physically embodied in ways that were completely impossible. And that happened in the span of under one hour on an operating table where I was awake. Wow. On fentanyl, but awake. But suddenly I was in my late 40s. I was free of marriage. My children were not babies anymore.

had a cushion around her brain and could jump and could run and could be physically embodied in ways that were completely impossible. And that happened in the span of under one hour on an operating table where I was awake. Wow. On fentanyl, but awake. But suddenly I was in my late 40s. I was free of marriage. My children were not babies anymore.

And I had my body for the first time since I was 32 years old. And the level of gratitude at just being able to even carry my own groceries or wear flip-flops because I could never wear flat shoes before. Like, I can't even describe to you. So you could imagine... The level of gratitude and the level of wonder I had at being able to re-encounter sex with that newly fixed body.

And I had my body for the first time since I was 32 years old. And the level of gratitude at just being able to even carry my own groceries or wear flip-flops because I could never wear flat shoes before. Like, I can't even describe to you. So you could imagine... The level of gratitude and the level of wonder I had at being able to re-encounter sex with that newly fixed body.

I'm trying to think of the right words. I mean, it was just wonderful. Like, it was wonderful. And I think, like, a lot of the, like, not to intellectualize too much, but, like, it was really fabulous to see, like, I still had the interest. Everything still worked.

I'm trying to think of the right words. I mean, it was just wonderful. Like, it was wonderful. And I think, like, a lot of the, like, not to intellectualize too much, but, like, it was really fabulous to see, like, I still had the interest. Everything still worked.

My body still looked nice, maybe because it had been preserved in amber from so many years of, like, just being stuck in bed, you know. Just laying down. And I found that, like, I was really interested in taking up again where, quote, unquote, I had left off in my mid-20s.

My body still looked nice, maybe because it had been preserved in amber from so many years of, like, just being stuck in bed, you know. Just laying down. And I found that, like, I was really interested in taking up again where, quote, unquote, I had left off in my mid-20s.