Monica Lewinsky

But you could understand how hard it is for me to go to school and you be my sister.

Yeah.

And that really, you know...

I was a hard sibling to have as a little girl, so I was like, all right, we're even.

But it was really hard for me in 2013, and I lost everything during that time in my personal life because of the choices I was making professionally.

If I kept dressing or acting a certain way, my relationships fell apart.

No one wanted to date me because they didn't want to be with a woman.

That sexual expression part was not –

For them, it was like shared with the world.

So like guys, when I would try to date when I was dating or who I was engaged at the time, that didn't work out because I was sharing a part of myself that men wanted to be saved for them only.

And the fact that I would...

you know, pose nude or dance in very little clothes or show my body was making them feel like I was taking something away that was meant to be for them.

So I would have really hard times dating.

And it was just, it was really hard.

It was really hard for me to go home and see my dad and like look him in the eyes and not feel super embarrassed.

So, yeah, so having that and going home and seeing my grandparents were just mortifying, you know, or Thanksgiving with my uncle.

I felt that way when the Star Report came out, where it was just, like, it had been bad enough with men in general, but in particular, my dad and my brother and my stepdad of...

Just that all these things were out there and my dad's a doctor and he still went to work every day and my brother was in college.

It's just hard.

Yeah.