Monica Lewinsky

I have a weird question. When you were talking about that, like you were giving it back to him, you were no longer going to carry this burden. I feel like sometimes when I've... been in situations like that, I believe it 80%. And there's still 20% that's whatever. But when you're telling the story, it sounds like you had 100% conviction.

And so was there any part of you that wasn't sure you were ready to let it go or wasn't sure what would happen? Wasn't sure you would be okay with whatever happened?

And so was there any part of you that wasn't sure you were ready to let it go or wasn't sure what would happen? Wasn't sure you would be okay with whatever happened?

So something you were saying, it was interesting, reminded me of this thing my therapist talks about a lot that I'm always repeating of her thing that trauma doesn't go away. It's an echo.

So something you were saying, it was interesting, reminded me of this thing my therapist talks about a lot that I'm always repeating of her thing that trauma doesn't go away. It's an echo.

And the echo, the longer it goes, the sort of more it dissipates.

And the echo, the longer it goes, the sort of more it dissipates.

You know, but...

You know, but...

Right, which is what you were saying that you've, it's such an, I've had these kinds of experiences too. And it's so fascinating where something sort of flits in, right? Yeah. And then, and you're kind of like, oh, we've been here before. And then it almost like origami or something or those old, it's like another layer just opens and you're kind of going, what's this?

Right, which is what you were saying that you've, it's such an, I've had these kinds of experiences too. And it's so fascinating where something sort of flits in, right? Yeah. And then, and you're kind of like, oh, we've been here before. And then it almost like origami or something or those old, it's like another layer just opens and you're kind of going, what's this?

Yeah, I remember for me, it would often be I would just I feel like I would just pray to not wake up. Oh, you know, so but it's but you're talking about suicide. I don't know if you remember. I'm fairly certain I told you in Grant.

Yeah, I remember for me, it would often be I would just I feel like I would just pray to not wake up. Oh, you know, so but it's but you're talking about suicide. I don't know if you remember. I'm fairly certain I told you in Grant.

That probably over 10 years ago, I had this insane, intense dream where I had gotten on a roller coaster in Las Vegas that was – it was like six people standing next to each other. And you would get on at this very high thing. Yeah. Six people get on and it drops. And the whole point was, it was a suicide ride. The whole point was like, you do not get off the ride.

That probably over 10 years ago, I had this insane, intense dream where I had gotten on a roller coaster in Las Vegas that was – it was like six people standing next to each other. And you would get on at this very high thing. Yeah. Six people get on and it drops. And the whole point was, it was a suicide ride. The whole point was like, you do not get off the ride.

And halfway down, I changed my mind. And you and Grant flew up.

And halfway down, I changed my mind. And you and Grant flew up.

And you got me out. And then you flew.

And you got me out. And then you flew.

Yeah. And I just, you know, and that's sort of, What was interesting to me about that dream and so kind of reinforced in this conversation for me too is just around, we don't always talk about the details of the pain between us. Like I feel like when we see each other, oh, this happened and this happened. Oh, this was hard and this was hard.