Mountain Monsters Narrator

I don't know how many midnight whistlers are coming down that hill, but they're mad. And we don't want to shoot them. They're a long ways away from the trap. The best thing to do is just get out of dodge.

I didn't know if we was going to make it out of there.

I had two on my left.

I had four on the thermal. There was at least four on the thermal.

I seen them on the thermal with Jeff.

By God, they were watching. I'll guarantee you the minute he touched that. Oh, it was on then.

As soon as I was about to dig into that grave, the most ear-piercing whistle let off I've ever heard. They had us surrounded, and their whistles were so loud, it hurt my ears.

I bet when they started whistling... Last time I heard a scream like that, I was trying to bid my wife for her 10th anniversary.

When they all was coming in. I guarantee it. Reinforcements. We came here after the midnight whistle.

That Bigfoot in the Appalachia isn't folklore. He's fact. We found his nest. We saw a trail camera picture of it. And we heard that legendary whistle. I believe that we've made an incredible discovery.

I don't know if it's a burial ground. I do know those midnight whistlers ran us out of there. People and creatures protect things that are very important to them. There was something there that they did not want us to find.

I don't know why y'all was in such a hurry for me to dig in that big pile of dirt.

It's time for Laughs with Huck and Chuck.

I don't want to do it. We twist your arm. Yeah, boy.

You look like a cat litter box. All right, guys.

All right, guys, we've been funny.

The excitement is building. We've got a Bigfoot that's attacking these poachers. On the other hand, you got us out here tonight with lights, guns, and this Phantom of the Forest.

He can't distinguish the difference. The Phantom of the Forest has been attacking poachers out here that has lights and guns. We have lights and guns. It's perfectly safe, though.

We run into either one of these, the Bigfoot or the poachers. We've got a thunder penis. I mean, a thunder axe. There's going to be a fight here tonight. We're working through this corn. It's hard to see anything in here. Oh, the cornfield.

Guy vanished. It's difficult to find any sign in the field, especially in this cornfield. Oh! What was that? What was that? Did you hear that? I heard it. I heard it. Sounds like something big took up through the woods.

No, it's just me. I'm getting some corn to make my kids popcorn. It's so good. I love it. Let's go up there.

Here going to corn. Whatever it was up there in the woods was way too heavy. Look at this trail up through here, Huck.

This is probably what we heard breaking.

Yeah.

That log busted where something stepped on it. That's fresh. That's fresh?

Any more sign, Buck?

Oh, what do we got here? Look here, look here. What's this? It's penis eyes!

That's the Circle K down the road. Oh, boy.

We got company, boys. Oh, boy. How many of them is it? There's two sides to sides. They're coming in hot. There's four. Oh, they're coming in hot. There's another vehicle. Boys, this ain't good. No, it's not.

Well, they know we're here. As soon as those vehicles stopped, people start getting out. There's a whole pile of them.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

I'll shoot! I'll shoot too! Well, I'll be dead. That's the call. Well, I don't like the math on that one. All right, we're going to go. Talk to you later.

Bring your buddies. Buck, I got weapons up.

No, I got something for you.

What's that?

Pew, pew. Pew, pew, pew. I got something for you. What's that?

I got something for you. I'm going to indiscriminately shoot at you. I want to go to jail for murder. We're in trouble, boys.

I don't know if they're trying to kill us. I don't know if they're trying to scare us. Any way you look at this, it's not good. We need to come up with a plan fast.

Who lays down like that? I know, who lays down on their back?

I copy that.

Turn your lights off. Lay down and get hip now.

Lay down and get hip.

Everybody's doing a brand new dance now.

Hey now, lay down in the forest.

We got to find a place to hide, man. Now they're moving. Now they're moving. Are they coming our way?

They're moving to our right. I got them. Buck, they ain't interested in us. They're going off. They're going over in the woods.

They're going to poach. Sorry. Wrong mountain monsters. Don't mind all the shooting.

Got them on the thermal. I ain't seeing nothing, Buck. I got nothing on the thermal.

These poachers, they headed off towards your woods. We know where they're going. They're going after this Bigfoot, and they're going to kill it.

That little cheesy bastard.

Still can't come up and face you man to man.

There's a light back there. There's a light back there. There's a light right there. I see it. I see it. Go, go, go. Quick, quick. What do we do? Lay on your back. Lay on your back. Stare at the stars.

Lights out, lights out, lights out, lights out, lights out. Lights out, lights out, lights out. Except for you, cameraman. We got to get this on film. Shh, shh, shh.

All right, we got our lights out. They're starting to close in on us now.

All right, we'll go radio silence.

Okay, we'll go radio silent. Okay, nothing we can do. Sorry. Should I call the cops? I'm going to go radio silent.

Chips and salsa, all you can eat. Willie just radioed over. He said them poachers are coming right up by him. We got to get over there and give them some backup.

I got movement! I got movement! Up ahead! Up ahead! Right in here! Right in here! Ah! Ah!

They shoot out in the cornfield. Fuck! You all right?

I'm all right. I'm all right. What happened, Buck? Something grabbed me. You okay? Get him up, Jeff. No.

Get him up.

He grabbed me. I want out of the corn.

I don't like it anymore in here. I'm very scared of the corn now. I don't like it. I want out of the corn.

Slow down, Buck.

Slow down. We need Willie and Bill. We need to get everybody together. This isn't safe. I lost my radio.

Yeah, it was radio silence. Who cares? We can't just go yelling and screaming for Willie and Bill with our headlights on. We're going to attract it.

That's what you guys do. Attention to them poachers, and we'll definitely attract the attention of that Bigfoot. The only thing we can think to do is to start heading towards the trap.

Wait a minute, what's that?

What the hell is he doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

We're standing there. All of a sudden, our trap comes down, crashes, starts dragging off, taking trees with it. These idiots tore up our trap.

That's how you want to play? Let's go get them. Let's go. Well, let's go. What the hell? No, this ain't happening. I don't know.

I'm going over there right now.

There's no dinner for you, young man.

Hello down that truck, brother. Watch your passenger side. Watch that cable. Watch your side. We don't have any people in there. Hey, what are you doing? You with one of them poachers? You with those?

You with one of them poachers? That's right. It's me, and I'm a poacher.

That's right, Chrissy.

I am from the West Kentucky Poacher Clan. Idiots.

What are you talking about?

What the hell are you doing?

They're tearing the hell out of it.

This guy paid me $1,000 to take down.

Okay, so all you know is this guy paid you a lot of money to come out here and tear this thing down.

I wasn't sure if he was full of crap or if he was telling the truth.

It's cool. I'm Buck.

I'm all good.

Buck, it's nice to meet you. I'm Larry.

Nice to meet you, Larry. The guy that you dealt with is part of a poaching ring.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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Huck, we got a Bigfoot about 50 yards out from my hole. I don't know what Bigfoot it is, but he's damn close. Just hold tight, Huck. I'm coming.

I'm coming that way.

Jeff, Wild Bill, and Huckleberry's all already in their blinds. Huckleberry has something right on top of him.

He done lifted my door up. Come on. Is that running?

That's a slow walk.

That's the slowest Bigfoot I have ever seen.

All right, I got the cameraman in my dick. He's right in his dick. I know. Be careful. I'm liable to pee on you.

This whole team's in trouble. We need to get up right now. There's Jeff.

There's Jeff.

Come on, brother. Come on.

Get in, get in, get in, get in, get in. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Get out of here. Get out of here. Jeff, what happened? Was you whistling or something? No. How many of them was there? I'd say it was two at least.

We got to go right now. I'll watch your back. Go. Huckleberry just hollered. I need to get off the top of this trap and go give him some backup. He's more important than this hunt.

Did you hear that? He's squalling right there. Go, go, go, go, go. You got to go, bro. The squall monster.

Go, go, go.

There he is. There he is. There he is. Get in there. What's going on? What's going on?

But besides that, everything's fine.

War! Ha! Good God, y'all! What are we fighting for? Absolutely nothing!

That's the only war hoop I can think of.

That's when I gave him the five o'clock savage. I bent over and blasted him with a mighty wind. He ran down the hill. I knew that Red Bull and tacos would come in handy.

Come on, guys. Come get me.

There's four and the camera.

Just radioed over. We got to get over and get him some backup right now. We got to go.

Okay, here comes the comedy.

And I started to come down the ladder, and I could hear the brush cracking. He squalled on me. He squalled? He squalled. When Huckleberry yelled for help, Willie decided it's time to bail on the trap. He sent the cameraman down first, and when he was getting ready to come down, he heard a squall right by the trap.

So he had to get down there with the cameraman because he was on the ground with the squalling savage. Squalling savage. Ha, ha, ha.

Let's tell jokes, me and you, and wrap this episode up.

Everything was coming together perfect. You don't even whistle and something shows up with you, and you don't whistle and something's on you. I don't understand that.

It didn't make a sound, only what I could hear walking. But when that thing yanked that lid up... I did get a quick view of it, and it wasn't black, and it wasn't reddish brown. It was a light color. What? It was a light color. We know that's not the Squall and Savage, and we know that's not the Midnight Whistler. We know they protect their ground. They're very territorial.

Whoa!

Whoa!

with what you're saying, Huck, because there's a complete different Bigfoot in here.

So much fun. All right. You know, we'll get back to it someday. We'll get back to the mountain monsters someday. But I felt it like it had been too long.

Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, mountain monsters ideas, whatever you got.

And we're going after the Midnight Whistler.

that the Midnight Whistler was the first Bigfoot to come out of the Mammoth Caves. And we're going to prove tonight that he exists.

Well, he's not here during the day, and he's not here at night.

Boy, would your gun ever... Point your gun wildly in every direction.

I saw some logs moving. That's what he said. I saw some logs moving. You saw some logs moving up in a tree?

No, he said stand back.

Trapper. Go ahead, Buck. Trapper MD. That's Uncle Barry number six. Look at him. Hey, we're down here in the nest. Something just come down on the tree on top of us. It's down here with us. We're down here in the nest.

We're on our way. We're on our way. Holy ****. I'm telling you right now, he don't whistle. What do you mean he don't whistle? There's some sort of scream. I've never heard nothing like that.

Big old roar.

Big squall, Trapper.

Trapper, just think. That bastard could have been up there that night we found it or that day we come back in here. I don't know how he got up that high wall that fast.

In a matter of just a second, he was gone.

Straight up. I don't know why we recall everything that ever happened. The whistle.

I'm just a whistling monster. Down you can whoop goat up back. How in the hell we get up that bank?

We can't get back on that ridge line.

No, there's no way. It's straight up and down.

We got to come up with a better plan. We got to do.

I don't think yous this far up here. Down one left, right. Let's get some bushwhack or whatever that thing's called.

I'm going to throw these logs around and scare those fat guys. Yum, yum.

It was like a teepee.

What in the world is that? It's a child's. It's a child.

Playing in the forest.

What the hell? Look at this.

Watch your step, guys.

Easy now, easy.

Easy now, easy.

We've got to be careful here. What is this? Is it graves? This is a bad spot. Graves? This is a bad spot. I'm telling you, we shouldn't be here.

That's me digging some graves. Who are these idiots? Hey, stay away from my grave. That's my dog and my wife. Buried him in the family plot.

This place gives me the shivers. I'm not sure what the hell it is, but it looks like a burial ground.

I can tell you right now, if these are grave sites, they're awful big. That son of a bitch here must be 10 foot long. I'm getting nervous.

And then made sure we knew he had the last laugh.

This is eerie. There's no way this is an Indian burial ground. There's no active Native Americans in this part of the country. It's too well upkept, and something has been in here taking care of it. I don't think it's a gravesite. I disagree. Look at all these. Humped up dirt. Dig one up.

Hey, boy.

Yeah, go ahead. Get a shovel. Go on.

You better not. over eight and a half feet long there's bigfoot buried in these i don't think so i gotta go with buck on this one trapper i think it's a burial ground too i'll tell you what there's one way to find out i'll tell you what there's only one way to find out that's right it's my goldfish i buried it in the back for my kid he didn't know what to do so we buried it by the way

something humped up here making a mistake this is a bigfoot burial ground and i'm about to prove it oh wow there might be some proof of something under there they're up there damn it we got them pissed now

The minute Buck started digging in this dirt, all hell broke loose. I mean, they were whistling from this direction, this direction, and this direction.

Again, if I'm them, I just start shooting. You know what I'm saying? I'm not waiting for someone to kill me. I'm just shooting. I'll tell you what, we definitely got them P.O. 'd.

I was the one who pulled down the trap. I was the one who paid myself $1,000 to tear down your trap. Riddle me that, Batman.

We got to get out of here, guys.

You know what I'm saying? Here's a whistle.

Be a good boy for Santa Claus. Team in the side-by-side and scoot our asses off this burial ground before all the hits the fan.

The trap is set. The Thunder Axe is in the security box. Now we have to back off and let the Lightning Man do his part. All right, as much as I hate to do this, guys... Fall into the trap? Yeah. We have to leave that Thunder Axe here and we have to back out.

Yeah. As much as I hate to do this, we gotta let Thunder Man stick his hot loins in there and then when he does... He will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful.

Bill?

What did you do to that one? Go, go, go! That's it! That's it! Get down! God damn! All right. Cool.

All mythological creatures will bow to our will. We have the thunder axe.

Number five. Another 50 yards and go up.

Look, look, look. Look, look, look.

Look, look, look. It's a tree coming down. Hey, guys. I took that chainsaw and cut that tree down for you like you told me to.

I told you to cut the other one down.

Son of a bitch! That tree done fell! That tree downed! Holy hell. Cowboy Ken zooms in on that drone. Cowboy Ken. There it is. Wild Bill.

and big ass tree comes crashing to the ground hell yes you heard that high-pitched squall and you heard that tree knock you know exactly what took that tree down that's a big foot

You know exactly what that was. It was me. I was doing it for fun. At Bigfoot, that celibate just ripped that big-ass tree down.

I think he just said, Bigfoot is celibate, and he fucked that tree down. It did sound like he said celibate.

Cowboy Ken, he caught it right there on his drone. Ken, get that drone back. We need to get over there.

We need to get over to where that tree just come down and get over there now. Why is he holding the drone like that?

Damn, look at this, guys. Get the hell up here. Damn, guys, look at this mean killing machine over here. Get over here. Here they come.

Look at this. Look at this. Good night, John boy. Good night, Mary.

Why would he shred a tree? Chrissy...

That's that damn tree that Bigfoot ripped down.

Squatch is going to get nicknamed Paul Bunyan. Look at the size of this. It's a big old ash. About probably 50, 60 years old, 70, somewhere around there. Probably 50, 60, 70.

Pissed off Bigfoot, guys. Yes, it is. Oh, you bet it is. You think he got mad because we had that drone in there? You think he got mad because... Because he had that drone.

That's a good possibility.

He's pissed about something.

Guys, I got a big question for you.

What's that?

Which one of you dealt it?

No, that's just my beard. Bigfoot did this. Where's he at? I hadn't thought about that. Well, golly.

You bring up a good point.

My guess is not real far. Whispers are scary. I'll tell you what I think we need to do, guys. It's starting to get dark. We need to go back, get our lights, get our guns, get to thermal, and get back out here. That's right.

Let's go. We need to do this in the dark. Dark, exactly. Here's what we need to do. Let's hit Old Country Buffet. I'm going to take a hot deuce. A load of a Mountain Dew. You wash your beard because it smells like shit. We'll get Billy to get us a Mountain Dew.

Already done, boys.

and we'll come back when it's pitch black. It'll be better for seeing stuff, you know. Of course.

Yeah. You want to grab that drone and see if we can't get it airborne, see if we can't get some action?

Will do. All right.

Holy!

Right up in there. Oh, right up in there. They're all pointing. They're all up in there.

Oh, yes, it was.

Guys. The hunt's on. Kill those lights and go to IR.

Kill those lights and go to IR.

All right, that sounded like it was just right up the hill.

Hell yeah, that's not far.

I know Ken didn't expect to be out here doing tree knocks and actually get a response. Oh, tree knocks? What is a tree knock?

Well, you remember when I told you about the whacking tree?

Right up in there. That was a damn tree knock. Hell yes, it was.

Welcome, Cowboy Ken. You're an Ames member.

All right, here's the plan.

Welcome, Cowboy Ken. You're officially an Ames member. You're the one we're going to feed to Bigfoot. That's right.

Willie, Bill, Cowboy Ken.

Willie, Bill, other Bill, other Billy, Huck, Huck, Huck number three, and Cowboy Ken, you go first.

You three start up the hauler about 150 yards. We're going inside of that hill. Jeff, Huck, we're going to go this way, and we're going to spread out and see if we can't get our eyes on this thing. Hey, guys.

Hey, guys, I don't walk so good.

Anybody got a four by?

Check this out. It's a tree.

Look at this.

Wow.

My gosh, look at this thing. Oh, man. That's creepy looking.

We're walking along this trail. All of a sudden, we look up, and here's this big old honey locust, all gnarled together, twisted together. That old honey locust is twisted. Oh, it's his nest.

It is. Looking up at this tree, this don't give me any good feelings. Sure looks like it should be Bigfoot country.

Right to the center of your soul. Telling you guys, that's a devil tree.

Hey, get the fuck out of the way. Hey, guys. Here's a side-by-side trail. Oh, hell yes.

That nest in that video was right along the side-by-side trail.

Yeah. Guys.

We're in the money.

Guys. Bigfoot nest. I make nest for my Bigfoot eggs. Yum, yum. Just making my Bigfoot nest. It's big fat people. Quick, knock the tree. Take dick, whack across tree.

Make them scared. In that video that Jeff has of that nest, you can clearly see a side-by-side trail right nearby. That nest, it may not be.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hear that cowboy? Yeah. He's coming right by the way, right over there.

Go easy, Bill.

No, he hasn't, Brian. No, I can't do that.

Guys, there's really not that many side-by-side trails that we've found here in the Tiger Valley.

Wow, it's a stick.

I found a stick. Pine limbs.

Pine limbs.

Pine limbs.

I know.

We've got to be getting close to that nest. The whole outside of the nest was covered in pine wood. Yeah, it was.

He's importing them in. Special for his nest. Hello. It's me, Bigfoot.

Hello? Yes, me, Bigfoot. Need some more honeysuckle-puckle and vine leaves, yes? Making big nest, I am. Don't tell anybody. I'm a Prime member. Do I get that overnight? Yes, okay. All right, thank you.

Dang, we didn't even notice that was right next to us the entire time. Oh, my God.

Never seen anything like this.

Oh, well, that was it.

Look right there. There's a lightning bolt. We're in Blair County, Pennsylvania, and we're going after the lightning man.

He's a bigfoot. He strikes out of the darkness and then just vanishes. That means he's damn quick. He's agile. He'll be out of the dark, on top of you, and going before you know you got your guts ripped out.

Look at the steam coming out right there.

It's a hot and steamy pile of shit.

Uh-oh. Earthquake. Here we go. That's Thunder. Thunder Brothers. We got to get.

The Thunder Brothers.

The Thunder Brothers.

We need to get it cooled off. How are we going to cool it off?

Oh, hold that. We need to get out of that cab. Piss on it. And we need that pipe. So I stank it on my feet. Oh, he pissed on it. He pissed on it.

He's pissing on it.

Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. Daddy, daddy, daddy.

Pissed on a damn thing and cooled it off. Here, here.

Let's go. Get ahead of me. Get ahead of me.

Not 20, 30 yards. It sounds like something's beating on the trees.

Almost like thunder. See anything?

Right up through there.

Go on in here now. Stick one in big hairy paws in her now. Yeah, I got a lighter. Go ahead. How dare you?

And a pipe. How dare you stick your dirty mugs in here now? I got a pissy pipe and a hot lighter that's burning my thumb. I also have a gun, but I'm not going to use that.

Well.

I can't see a thing.

I hear him right on our ass.

I hear him. I hear him. Come on.

Be careful.

We mean you no harm. We just want to show you our new routine. Look. Clap them cheeks. Clap them cheeks.

We got it. We got it. I'm right directly in front of you. I'll scream loud. You got the piss pipe? I got the piss pipe. You got the dead liner? I do. We've got all the ingredients for what I don't know.

We've got to get that axe put together and we've got to do it fast. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. We got that piece of pipe we believe has that second piece of that lashing in it. The only way to get it open is beat it open. What?

That's it! That's it! That's it!

It's a piece of my shit.

We just got that pipe open, and there it was. That's the other piece of that lashing we was looking for. The lashing? Now we have all the pieces of the Thunder Axe.

We need to get it in that safety box and give the lightning man his chance to touch it.

The trap is set. The Thunder Axe is in the security box. Now we have to back off and let the Lightning Man do his part. All right, as much as I hate to do this, guys. Fall into the trap. We have to leave that Thunder Axe here and we have to back out.

Yeah. As much as I hate to do this, we got to let Thunder Man stick his hot loins in there and then when he does... He will jizz lightning and we will all become all powerful.

All mythological creatures will bow to our will. We have the Thunder Axe.

Full of pee, but it's the Thunder Axe nonetheless. Give the lightning man his chance to touch that Thunder Axe. Yeah. Huckleberry, Bill, Jeff, get up high on that ridge about 100 yards back behind the trap. All right. Will you come with me? We're going to hit that high ridge. Will you come with me? We're going to hit that Krispy Kreme.

You guys wait for certain death. I'll be at the Krispy Kreme. Jump on this side. Trap door goes down. We come running.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's go. This is going to come out of nowhere, isn't it?

Man, this storm conveniently come out of nowhere during the Lightning Man episode. That's kind of crazy. Or well-timed.

What was that? What was that?

What was that?

Wanda?

Billy, you better get over here right now. I got what you said. I got what you said. Don't make the pancakes. It's a goddamn thing. It's a chicken fry. You've been out here all night with your boyfriend. Hey, honey, I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you.

I don't see anything. Easy now, easy. Be ready. Be ready, Bill. It was like your huck. Remember, we got to let him touch that thunder ax.

Easy, easy. Go slow. I don't want to die too quickly now. You got to let him touch that thunder, that PP thunder ax.

Oh, everyone exploded.

What happened? Lighting him right there. That tree right there. That tree right there. The only tree in the entire forest that has been lit on fire. Can you see it directly in front of us? Where? Come on, Bill.

Come on. Go, go, go. Jeff Rowe. Lighting him right there. Jeff Rowe. Jeff Rowe. Jeff Rowe. Holy. Pull guard, Bill. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff.

Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff Rowe. Jeff. It's clear. The more you yell his name, the more he will recover from a certain lightning strike. It's in the medical textbooks.

Lightning! In my 49 years in the woods, I've never had a lightning bolt hit that close to me. You can feel the power. Holy s***.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is 49. That's just how many years he's been out in these woods this time.

Is he all right?

He never got killed. Buck, he was standing right there.

If I got some bad news, brother. What? Your boot blew off, and you pissed your pants. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll clean you up.

We'll catch you new ones. You're lucky to be alive. Yes, sir. All I remember is Huckleberry and Bill going down over that hill. Next thing I saw, a flash of light, a huge boom blew the piss out of me. My boot flew off. That's the brightest light I've ever seen in my whole life.

Lightning hit a tree that close? Oh, man. Ten feet away? Yeah. What the hell is that? That's a trap door. That's a trap door. Huckleberry, stay with Jeff. Let's go. We heard the trap door go down. We need to hurry up and get up there. But then we got to slow down and ease in because that lightning man could still be right there.

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. That lightning man, Thunder Brothers, could be right here. There's a trap. There's a trap. The trap door's down. Watch. Make sure they're not here, Willie. I'm a-looking. I'm a-looking. Willie, go to the right of the... I'm a-looking.

I'm a-looking. I'm putting an A in front of looking to make it sound like I'm a little more redneck than I actually am. I'm a-looking. Bill, cover the front.

I'm going to head around to the left. Let's check it out. Make sure he has to be close.

What was the trap?

Jeff, Jeff, I know you just got hit by lightning, but come over here and see our Thunder Axe. It's really cool.

I've got a He-Man and She-Ra play set also.

Go easy now. Go easy.

We got the Thunder Axe. It's in the draft. Hallelujah, boys.

Hallelujah, boys. I got struck by lightning, shat myself, lost my ability to get an erection, and I got a terrible headache. But woo-hoo, we got a Thunder Axe, whatever that means.

I can hear you from here, Dad. It's good. I'm cool. Get in there. No!

Where that came from?

We are. We're in Ash County, North Carolina, and we're going after the Cherokee Devil. Legend has it that this Bigfoot is the ultimate hunter and has mystical powers. It can hear your thoughts and control your mind.

This isn't legend. It's fact. It's fact. It's fact.

That's where I ended up. I don't know how or why, but that's where I ended up.

I'm ready.

Where'd she go? Did you see her? No, I didn't. There's that little Indian girl. Oh, I forgot he was looking for her.

Did you see her? I'm not mistaken what I seen. I seen it the other night. It was that little Cherokee Indian girl.

There's nowhere for her to go. She was standing right there in the building. And I walked right up to it, and she's gone. She vanished. There's no exit. There's no way out of there. But she vanished. She's gone. It's a fact.

But he looks to me like he's in that same trance that I seen him the other night. I got to ease down there and make sure we get a hold of him.

You seen the turkey devil? He's walking up that ridge. Up to the shack. He's got his penis hanging out. I know why they call him the Cherokee Devil.

There she was.

Little Cherokee Girl. The one that grabbed it.

She's inside the shed. Did she take a hold of you?

She disappeared.

Buck seen that little Cherokee girl again. She disappeared in that damn shed. There's something about that damn shit.

I knew I should have torn it down years ago. 15 yards away when I seen her. I went straight in. Straight in. She wasn't in there. She's gone.

We got to get Buck out of here. Yeah. And we got to find Huck first. I want to find Huckleberry.

Together, we're going to take care of Buck. I'm fine. We'll take care of each other. We'll get Huckleberry. Yeah, let's find Huckleberry before this gets worse. He has to be here.

Hope he's not in the same shape I was in.

We need to go right back to where that evil devil entered Huckleberry's mind. In that totem pole area.

Right here. That son of a bitch is gone. What? Jeff, look. We went right back to where we found that damn totem pole, and now it's gone. Gone. It's totally gone.

disappeared son of a bitch was probably about 14 inches in diameter eight foot tall maybe 10 foot tall willie it was damn 10 foot tall willie a 10 foot that willie was about 14 inches diameter eight feet tall that damn willie biggest willie i've ever seen no wonder buck's crying we're standing on them logs and jeff and i couldn't pick it up out of there Huckleberry was standing right here.

He looked right at Jeff. He said, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Get in, guys. Get in, Willie. Quick, shoot in that general direction.

we were standing right there where that totem pole was and all at once huckleberry let out this blood-curdling scream right up the hill hook hey hook are you at your head hook oh easy listen let's catch me outside listen listen

It didn't sound like he was that far up ahead. He squawked right there. Oh, there's something there. Something's wrong. Something's either got a hold of him, or he just plumbed out of his head and he's lost. He's plumbed out of his head.

Huckleberry. Easy. Come over the top of that hill. What a sight to see. Huckleberry standing up here. Huckleberry.

Buck-ass naked, covered in mud, pulled that damn totem pole.

Huckleberry! Huckleberry wasn't in his right mind. We didn't know what to do. So Bill Jeff tackled it just to try to get control of him so he wouldn't take off again.

Here, Huck. Huck, you all right? Are you Huckleberry now? Are you Huckleberry now? I'm a wet Huckleberry.

Ha-ha, wet Huckleberry. The cold water must have done the trick because he's back. What's the last thing you remember?

Coming to in the water. Jeff on top of me. Bill's there. Next thing I know, I look up. The whole team's there. It's a foursome I'll never forget. I have no idea what I've been doing. Did you see it, Buck? Buck, I don't think I did. I can't tell you for positive. It was like I was up here and my body was down here and I was watching everything I was doing.

And I was making sweet love to that totem pole.

Sounds weird, but that's the only way I can explain it.

I want to fuck a totem pole. Wow. Trying to give you guys all the answers I can. I hope it comes back. I'd love to know what the hell happened. I'd love to be able to tell you.

You'll be fine. I'm telling you, I've never felt like this. This is scary. I know Buck feels this way. You have no control. I've never made love to a totem pole before.

What you do. You think you do and you think you're fighting? This thing's strong.

We didn't even get to go after that stupid Cherokee devil. I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going home.

You're tuned in. Then we're going to arm up. We're coming back.

That little guy, he seems like a little child. He's so excited. Guys, this team's on a mission to prove the existence of Bigfoot in Appalachia. We'll come back.

And this is Kalu. He's the most bizarre and dangerous Bigfoot we've ever chased. We're going home. We're going to lick our wounds. We're going to get our heads straight. And we're coming back. Huck, I thank you and Buck. Need to sort your thoughts.

Yeah. After what happened with Buck and me, Jeff and Trapper. Buck and I. We're going to have to start doing a bunch more research. We're going to have to dig into this Cherokee myth.

They can find out to fight this Cherokee devil.

To give us half a chance.