MTV Contestant
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
I have amazing legs. I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows.
I have amazing legs. I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows.
Oh, yeah. Oh, interception. God, this is not fair.
Oh, yeah. Oh, interception. God, this is not fair.
Hi. Hey, I'm Dylan.
Hi. Hey, I'm Dylan.
So what do you do for a living? I work at a gym. I'm working in a grocery store. I sell insurance. I'm a semi-pro babysitter.
So what do you do for a living? I work at a gym. I'm working in a grocery store. I sell insurance. I'm a semi-pro babysitter.
I sell insurance.
I sell insurance.
Sometimes I watch them. Sometimes I don't. I'm a full-time student and an athlete. I'm working on being a kid's pastor.
Sometimes I watch them. Sometimes I don't. I'm a full-time student and an athlete. I'm working on being a kid's pastor.
I set rat traps for a living.
I set rat traps for a living.
Like an exterminator?
Like an exterminator?
Are you serious? Yeah, puts food on the table.
Are you serious? Yeah, puts food on the table.
I rap and dance. Fold clothes all day. Right now, I'm not really doing much. Just freelance construction. Right. I'm in construction myself. Could you hook me up with a job?
I rap and dance. Fold clothes all day. Right now, I'm not really doing much. Just freelance construction. Right. I'm in construction myself. Could you hook me up with a job?
I thought we were coming up to booze.
I thought we were coming up to booze.
I'd have to say her beauty.
I'd have to say her beauty.
Hey, what's the matter? Why are you so upset? Have I told you that you're awesome? Every guy at school loves you. Hey, girlfriend. I'm sad. Cheer me up.
Hey, what's the matter? Why are you so upset? Have I told you that you're awesome? Every guy at school loves you. Hey, girlfriend. I'm sad. Cheer me up.
I'll give you a back massage.
I'll give you a back massage.
I'll give you a front massage.
I'll give you a front massage.
And her course. I'd like to try that before I die. Uh-huh. I want to run a marathon. I've always wanted to kick down a door. Just find some random door and... Kick down a door?
And her course. I'd like to try that before I die. Uh-huh. I want to run a marathon. I've always wanted to kick down a door. Just find some random door and... Kick down a door?
He is amoeba. Baby with Angelique Jolie.
He is amoeba. Baby with Angelique Jolie.
I want to be the first man to walk on the moon.
I want to be the first man to walk on the moon.
Because I'll always be there for her. I'm a good guy. I'll treat her right. I'm a gentleman. I'm always going to be opening doors for her. It's a great answer. Because I have an IQ of 60?
Because I'll always be there for her. I'm a good guy. I'll treat her right. I'm a gentleman. I'm always going to be opening doors for her. It's a great answer. Because I have an IQ of 60?
The beauty. Oh, I mean 160. That's right. I'm good looking. I have a big brain. My butterscotch nipple. Oh, ****. What? Do you want one scoop or two?
The beauty. Oh, I mean 160. That's right. I'm good looking. I have a big brain. My butterscotch nipple. Oh, ****. What? Do you want one scoop or two?
Nice meeting you. Thank you, guys. Don't be a fake ring. I'm in for the real thing here. Cool.
Nice meeting you. Thank you, guys. Don't be a fake ring. I'm in for the real thing here. Cool.
I may be a punk ass, but you're a fat ass. Damn.
I may be a punk ass, but you're a fat ass. Damn.
Nice sunglasses, bro.
Nice sunglasses, bro.
When Chad walked in, I was like, I got to get some mayonnaise for that white bread. Screw that, dude.
When Chad walked in, I was like, I got to get some mayonnaise for that white bread. Screw that, dude.
Sloane, you ready to go on our date? Let's go. All right, let's do it.
Sloane, you ready to go on our date? Let's go. All right, let's do it.
Not too much fun. No touching.
Not too much fun. No touching.
We're going to do a little sport I like to call scurfing.
We're going to do a little sport I like to call scurfing.
Look at how cute he is. Why don't you date him? He's got more personality than that robot man over there. Who would you know about?
Look at how cute he is. Why don't you date him? He's got more personality than that robot man over there. Who would you know about?
Here we go. A skateboard that looks like a surfboard.
Here we go. A skateboard that looks like a surfboard.
Real revolutionary.
Real revolutionary.
This is like the X Games, except it's like the Z's games.
This is like the X Games, except it's like the Z's games.
I shower with her all the time.
I shower with her all the time.
I'm glad. Scurfing is awesome. So I brought us some fish tacos because fish tacos go perfect after a day of scurfing.
I'm glad. Scurfing is awesome. So I brought us some fish tacos because fish tacos go perfect after a day of scurfing.
hey mom you ever make fish tacos uh yeah i sure do dad you ever eat mom's fish tacos does not oh it gets so much worse are so what are some of your favorite foods
hey mom you ever make fish tacos uh yeah i sure do dad you ever eat mom's fish tacos does not oh it gets so much worse are so what are some of your favorite foods
My favorite foods, I'd probably say strawberries and chocolate with a little whipped cream.
My favorite foods, I'd probably say strawberries and chocolate with a little whipped cream.
Yeah, your daughter and I were playing with strawberries and whipped cream last night. I will kill you.
Yeah, your daughter and I were playing with strawberries and whipped cream last night. I will kill you.
Yeah. We were cooking. I made dessert last night. Mom, it was almost as good as your first taco.
Yeah. We were cooking. I made dessert last night. Mom, it was almost as good as your first taco.
So what's the deal with your boyfriend anyway?
So what's the deal with your boyfriend anyway?
I like to do some yoga. Just something that relieves some stress.
I like to do some yoga. Just something that relieves some stress.
Before you go, I got something for you to remember the state by. Every scurfer needs their board wax, and this is my favorite brand. Well, thank you. I had an amazing 15 minutes with you.
Before you go, I got something for you to remember the state by. Every scurfer needs their board wax, and this is my favorite brand. Well, thank you. I had an amazing 15 minutes with you.
We should probably get you back home now.
We should probably get you back home now.
Gentlemen, I'm always going to be opening doors for her.
Gentlemen, I'm always going to be opening doors for her.
When Dylan walked in, I said to myself, I would do her. Then I realized it was a guy.
When Dylan walked in, I said to myself, I would do her. Then I realized it was a guy.
Seriously, did you see that guy's hair? What do you call that?
Seriously, did you see that guy's hair? What do you call that?
Only when her hair looks like **** too. Such a jerk.
Only when her hair looks like **** too. Such a jerk.
So I brought you to this soccer field because I thought we'd play a little soccer. Got a little jersey for you.
So I brought you to this soccer field because I thought we'd play a little soccer. Got a little jersey for you.
These are leaf blowers.
These are leaf blowers.
No, come on now. We're playing leaf blower soccer.
No, come on now. We're playing leaf blower soccer.
It's just like regular soccer.
It's just like regular soccer.
You guys are stupid.
You guys are stupid.
Usually brunettes, actually.
Usually brunettes, actually.
Yep, I agree, I agree.
Yep, I agree, I agree.
What about you? What kind of guys do you normally date?
What about you? What kind of guys do you normally date?
You're over there. I'm over here. First one to three goals wins, and loser gives winner a massage.
You're over there. I'm over here. First one to three goals wins, and loser gives winner a massage.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right.
What are you going to give me, braces? What does that mean?
What are you going to give me, braces? What does that mean?
With a fist? You know what kick means?
With a fist? You know what kick means?
That's stupid, it's the f***ing plane.
That's stupid, it's the f***ing plane.
Score for the loudest, most obnoxious game ever. I'm over this. I'm so sick of you. Give me my glasses.
Score for the loudest, most obnoxious game ever. I'm over this. I'm so sick of you. Give me my glasses.
He got hit in the head real hard. That's how he came up with it. I don't know. Me and my friends play sometimes.
He got hit in the head real hard. That's how he came up with it. I don't know. Me and my friends play sometimes.
Pretty creative group of guys.
Pretty creative group of guys.
Actually, I'm in a band.
Actually, I'm in a band.
Okay, which 18-year-old boy is not in a band?
Okay, which 18-year-old boy is not in a band?
We're called Brian's Escape.
We're called Brian's Escape.
Yeah, that was a great one, Mom. You're working on the personality I see, though. That's right. Very good, very good. I'm proud of you. So what did you think of me when you first saw me?
Yeah, that was a great one, Mom. You're working on the personality I see, though. That's right. Very good, very good. I'm proud of you. So what did you think of me when you first saw me?
Thank you. Honestly.
Thank you. Honestly.
It looks like a girl's hair. I thought it was sexy.
It looks like a girl's hair. I thought it was sexy.
He's a lot better looking than you are.
He's a lot better looking than you are.
I just thought, man, this girl is a knockout. Why is she with this douchebag guy?
I just thought, man, this girl is a knockout. Why is she with this douchebag guy?
Because I'm the best. Aw, yeah. You are so full of yourself. Aw, yeah.
Because I'm the best. Aw, yeah. You are so full of yourself. Aw, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, you dick.
Oh, yeah. Oh, you dick.
I gotta be honest. I'm a little wiped out from that game.
I gotta be honest. I'm a little wiped out from that game.
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring me them legs. What are you giggling at, Lauren? You have amazing legs.
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring me them legs. What are you giggling at, Lauren? You have amazing legs.
Jeremy's an idiot. You have great legs.
Jeremy's an idiot. You have great legs.
I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows. Then you might want to put these on so you don't have to see it anymore.
I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows. Then you might want to put these on so you don't have to see it anymore.
Oh, snap. Thank you. Feeling all loosened up?
Oh, snap. Thank you. Feeling all loosened up?
All right, should we get changed and get out of here then? All right, so we should have sex?
All right, should we get changed and get out of here then? All right, so we should have sex?
Well, I know 4th of July only comes once a year, but if you pick me... Well, that was prophetic. As the lead keyboardist of Brian's mistake. We'll be seeing fireworks all year long.
Well, I know 4th of July only comes once a year, but if you pick me... Well, that was prophetic. As the lead keyboardist of Brian's mistake. We'll be seeing fireworks all year long.
Oh my God, that was terrible. Lauren, I don't understand science that well, but there's no denying the chemistry that we felt.
Oh my God, that was terrible. Lauren, I don't understand science that well, but there's no denying the chemistry that we felt.
Baby, if I've learned anything today, it's that I don't want to lose you. And I promise that if you pick me, I promise if I pick you, I'll start a band called Jeremy's Practice. Do whatever I can to make you happy.
Baby, if I've learned anything today, it's that I don't want to lose you. And I promise that if you pick me, I promise if I pick you, I'll start a band called Jeremy's Practice. Do whatever I can to make you happy.
Aw, Dylan's always a gentleman. I don't care. I can't date a girl whose hair is shorter than mine.
Aw, Dylan's always a gentleman. I don't care. I can't date a girl whose hair is shorter than mine.
What are you doing? Get the camera off me. What are you doing? Get the camera off me. Get the camera off me. We did it, man. We did it.
What are you doing? Get the camera off me. What are you doing? Get the camera off me. Get the camera off me. We did it, man. We did it.
How'd you ever date that baby?
How'd you ever date that baby?
I have amazing legs. I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows.
Oh, yeah. Oh, interception. God, this is not fair.
Hi. Hey, I'm Dylan.
So what do you do for a living? I work at a gym. I'm working in a grocery store. I sell insurance. I'm a semi-pro babysitter.
I sell insurance.
Sometimes I watch them. Sometimes I don't. I'm a full-time student and an athlete. I'm working on being a kid's pastor.
I set rat traps for a living.
Like an exterminator?
Are you serious? Yeah, puts food on the table.
I rap and dance. Fold clothes all day. Right now, I'm not really doing much. Just freelance construction. Right. I'm in construction myself. Could you hook me up with a job?
I thought we were coming up to booze.
I'd have to say her beauty.
Hey, what's the matter? Why are you so upset? Have I told you that you're awesome? Every guy at school loves you. Hey, girlfriend. I'm sad. Cheer me up.
I'll give you a back massage.
I'll give you a front massage.
And her course. I'd like to try that before I die. Uh-huh. I want to run a marathon. I've always wanted to kick down a door. Just find some random door and... Kick down a door?
He is amoeba. Baby with Angelique Jolie.
I want to be the first man to walk on the moon.
Because I'll always be there for her. I'm a good guy. I'll treat her right. I'm a gentleman. I'm always going to be opening doors for her. It's a great answer. Because I have an IQ of 60?
The beauty. Oh, I mean 160. That's right. I'm good looking. I have a big brain. My butterscotch nipple. Oh, ****. What? Do you want one scoop or two?
Nice meeting you. Thank you, guys. Don't be a fake ring. I'm in for the real thing here. Cool.
I may be a punk ass, but you're a fat ass. Damn.
Nice sunglasses, bro.
When Chad walked in, I was like, I got to get some mayonnaise for that white bread. Screw that, dude.
Sloane, you ready to go on our date? Let's go. All right, let's do it.
Not too much fun. No touching.
We're going to do a little sport I like to call scurfing.
Look at how cute he is. Why don't you date him? He's got more personality than that robot man over there. Who would you know about?
Here we go. A skateboard that looks like a surfboard.
Real revolutionary.
This is like the X Games, except it's like the Z's games.
I shower with her all the time.
I'm glad. Scurfing is awesome. So I brought us some fish tacos because fish tacos go perfect after a day of scurfing.
hey mom you ever make fish tacos uh yeah i sure do dad you ever eat mom's fish tacos does not oh it gets so much worse are so what are some of your favorite foods
My favorite foods, I'd probably say strawberries and chocolate with a little whipped cream.
Yeah, your daughter and I were playing with strawberries and whipped cream last night. I will kill you.
Yeah. We were cooking. I made dessert last night. Mom, it was almost as good as your first taco.
So what's the deal with your boyfriend anyway?
I like to do some yoga. Just something that relieves some stress.
Before you go, I got something for you to remember the state by. Every scurfer needs their board wax, and this is my favorite brand. Well, thank you. I had an amazing 15 minutes with you.
We should probably get you back home now.
Gentlemen, I'm always going to be opening doors for her.
When Dylan walked in, I said to myself, I would do her. Then I realized it was a guy.
Seriously, did you see that guy's hair? What do you call that?
Only when her hair looks like **** too. Such a jerk.
So I brought you to this soccer field because I thought we'd play a little soccer. Got a little jersey for you.
These are leaf blowers.
No, come on now. We're playing leaf blower soccer.
It's just like regular soccer.
You guys are stupid.
Usually brunettes, actually.
Yep, I agree, I agree.
What about you? What kind of guys do you normally date?
You're over there. I'm over here. First one to three goals wins, and loser gives winner a massage.
Yeah, that's right.
What are you going to give me, braces? What does that mean?
With a fist? You know what kick means?
That's stupid, it's the f***ing plane.
Score for the loudest, most obnoxious game ever. I'm over this. I'm so sick of you. Give me my glasses.
He got hit in the head real hard. That's how he came up with it. I don't know. Me and my friends play sometimes.
Pretty creative group of guys.
Actually, I'm in a band.
Okay, which 18-year-old boy is not in a band?
We're called Brian's Escape.
Yeah, that was a great one, Mom. You're working on the personality I see, though. That's right. Very good, very good. I'm proud of you. So what did you think of me when you first saw me?
Thank you. Honestly.
It looks like a girl's hair. I thought it was sexy.
He's a lot better looking than you are.
I just thought, man, this girl is a knockout. Why is she with this douchebag guy?
Because I'm the best. Aw, yeah. You are so full of yourself. Aw, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, you dick.
I gotta be honest. I'm a little wiped out from that game.
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring me them legs. What are you giggling at, Lauren? You have amazing legs.
Jeremy's an idiot. You have great legs.
I can't believe this. He's touching her calves and I'm sitting next to you cows. Then you might want to put these on so you don't have to see it anymore.
Oh, snap. Thank you. Feeling all loosened up?
All right, should we get changed and get out of here then? All right, so we should have sex?
Well, I know 4th of July only comes once a year, but if you pick me... Well, that was prophetic. As the lead keyboardist of Brian's mistake. We'll be seeing fireworks all year long.
Oh my God, that was terrible. Lauren, I don't understand science that well, but there's no denying the chemistry that we felt.
Baby, if I've learned anything today, it's that I don't want to lose you. And I promise that if you pick me, I promise if I pick you, I'll start a band called Jeremy's Practice. Do whatever I can to make you happy.
Aw, Dylan's always a gentleman. I don't care. I can't date a girl whose hair is shorter than mine.
What are you doing? Get the camera off me. What are you doing? Get the camera off me. Get the camera off me. We did it, man. We did it.
How'd you ever date that baby?