Narrator/Detective

Chapter one. I woke up just after dawn. It was a typical morning. My knees were scraped and bruised. My clothes were damp and soiled. And my teeth felt like someone had socked me in the jaw. I reached for the bottle I kept under my pillow and took a sloppy swig. The taste was foul, but it did the trick. Now I could sit up and think.

Chapter one. I woke up just after dawn. It was a typical morning. My knees were scraped and bruised. My clothes were damp and soiled. And my teeth felt like someone had socked me in the jaw. I reached for the bottle I kept under my pillow and took a sloppy swig. The taste was foul, but it did the trick. Now I could sit up and think.

Now I could start to figure out how to somehow face another goddamn day. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't getting any younger. I was two years old. Soon I would be three. Unless I stayed too. I wasn't sure if you stayed the age you were or if that changed. I wasn't sure about a lot of things. All I knew was I was tired. Tired of this down and dirty life.

Now I could start to figure out how to somehow face another goddamn day. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't getting any younger. I was two years old. Soon I would be three. Unless I stayed too. I wasn't sure if you stayed the age you were or if that changed. I wasn't sure about a lot of things. All I knew was I was tired. Tired of this down and dirty life.

Tired of trying to make some sense out of a world gone mad. The client was waiting for me in my nursery. I'd seen her around before. She'd come on the scene about a year ago, moving into the white bassinet down the hall. Some people called her sweetheart. Others called her pumpkin. But most people knew her by her full name, Baby Zoe.

Tired of trying to make some sense out of a world gone mad. The client was waiting for me in my nursery. I'd seen her around before. She'd come on the scene about a year ago, moving into the white bassinet down the hall. Some people called her sweetheart. Others called her pumpkin. But most people knew her by her full name, Baby Zoe.

Sure, she looked innocent enough with her big wide eyes and her Princess Elsa onesie, but her past was murky. Some said she came from the hospital, but there was also a rumor she'd once lived inside Mummy's tummy. It didn't add up. Still a job's a job. So what brings you here to see me?

Sure, she looked innocent enough with her big wide eyes and her Princess Elsa onesie, but her past was murky. Some said she came from the hospital, but there was also a rumor she'd once lived inside Mummy's tummy. It didn't add up. Still a job's a job. So what brings you here to see me?

I rolled my eyes. Moo Moo went missing all the time. It was just the kind of unicorn she was. Maybe she's under your bassinet.

I rolled my eyes. Moo Moo went missing all the time. It was just the kind of unicorn she was. Maybe she's under your bassinet.

Her eyes filled with tears. I handed her a tissue, but she didn't know what a tissue was. So she put it in her mouth and tried to eat it.

Her eyes filled with tears. I handed her a tissue, but she didn't know what a tissue was. So she put it in her mouth and tried to eat it.

Lost toys? A small time. Why should I bust my ass trying to find some unicorn, probably just turn up under the radiator?

Lost toys? A small time. Why should I bust my ass trying to find some unicorn, probably just turn up under the radiator?

I cocked my head doubtfully. What kind of scratch could a baby like Zoe come up with? She didn't have a piggy bank. She wasn't old enough to have pockets. What do you got that's worth me getting up for?

I cocked my head doubtfully. What kind of scratch could a baby like Zoe come up with? She didn't have a piggy bank. She wasn't old enough to have pockets. What do you got that's worth me getting up for?

I swallowed. Are they the, uh, the fun kind?

I swallowed. Are they the, uh, the fun kind?

They were fun, all right. I'd never seen so many Batmans in all my life. How do I know these aren't hot? Where'd you even get them?

They were fun, all right. I'd never seen so many Batmans in all my life. How do I know these aren't hot? Where'd you even get them?