Nate
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Well, when I reach out to her, I'll say like, hey, do you want to get a cup of drinks or do you want to get some dinner tonight? And it's always got to be like last minute.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
I've been dodging her, and I've been keeping it vague for so long that now she's going to be like, oh, I got to strike with an iron hot. That's the answer.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't do this with everybody. I don't do this whole, like, every woman is the same thing. I just know the type of woman. And when I ask her, hey, what do you like to eat? And she's like hinting at the most expensive restaurant. Oh, this Italian. Come on, dude.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Oh, God. Lucy, Lucy, you can't say all of this after you've called the radio station to get a hold of me.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
What? I just, I'm better at the game than you are.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
No, that's not true at all. That's not true at all. I think negging you is the right way to go.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
honey it doesn't work that way it doesn't it just did i know you literally called the radio station to get a hold of me how are you saying that no one treats me like that nobody does it okay everybody's talking at the same time in her defense which she probably doesn't have a lot she did say remember even if he likes me i don't want to go out with him again
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Yeah, he is listening to this, Lucy.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Yeah, she absolutely is better looking than me, but I have her wrapped around my little finger.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
I'm not even going to say yes or no. That's the beauty of it. I'm just going to leave it vague and I'll just wait for her text later.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Uh, yeah, I'm a little busy right now, man. What's going on?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
It totally checks out. It totally checks out that she'd be the one calling me. Yeah. What does that mean? Yeah. She's texted me like four times in the last couple of days. Like I barely respond to her. So that's okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Well, it's just, she's that type of girl. Like there's a type.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Like, she's very attractive. She's been told all her life that she's attractive, so she knows it. And then she's like, no, I'm better. And I'm like, no, okay, relax.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
No, no, she's fine. Like, it's just a matter of, like,
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
there's two things you got to deal with with women like lucy keep the date really short right that's the thing you got to keep the day really short like i knew that if i kept the date going longer longer i had the suspicion that she was like all good a free meal out of me and i'm not that's not what i'm about okay so this this is like a rule a strategy that you've come up with for dating beautiful women
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
It's not just beautiful women. It's beautiful women who know that they're beautiful and think that they're better than you because they're beautiful.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
No, it's definitely because I want to keep her interested. Oh. With a woman like Lucy, the longer the date goes, the less interested she becomes because she knows all about you.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
Was there another one? You keep the date short. You don't give them any information. You just, hey, I got to go. Talk to you later.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Beauty and the Meh
That wasn't a lie. We were at the gym. I went to go to the gym to meet a friend at the gym. But I'm not going to give her specifics. I'm not going to tell her where and when and with who because I know that the moment I say that, all the mystery is gone.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
It's going to get rough out here if we do that. There'll be a bloodbath. There'll be no peace in the streets. We can't have that. What would you battle about?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Exactly. True. What did Ken Rock keep calling him? Was it Jomo? Jomo. Like, Jomo. Yeah. But he was, like, kind of laying out... Why is he calling him Jomo?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Bruh, get me hard. What's the root you were talking about?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Where I am bummed is I used to be able to get drunk and fuck and fuck forever. Those days are long gone. Now I come home and I'm like, I try and I'm like, forget it. And I miss the good old days of
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
I'll ask for anything. I'll take the no gracefully.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
i can't pull out the guy getting fucked against the wall oh fuck i want to say a thing but i have a friend i'm not gonna say his name but he he guard dog no not guard dog it's guard dog he's he's like been with a lady for a long time but never pied what like never once that's crazy it's kind of crazy right that's crazy that's great never never i think i know you're talking about
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Andy Malifarino. Panties in the motherfucking mouth. Panties in the motherfucking mouth. Oh, I thought you said Andy. You said me. It was me. Oh, oh. The Pod Squad. Panties in the mouth. Panties in the mouth podcast. P.I. Tim on YouTube. Oh, my God, dude. I gotta take a look at the boys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
It's an actual problem. But I just kind of was relating.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
I am Ankh. I'm Ankh now. You have become Ankh. It's fine. I like it. I kind of love it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
It's the white wife effect. It's the white wife effect. You do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
That's actually a soft spot. Please don't talk about the ass I lost.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
no conflict no conflict yeah i think it's flipping that's the problem i'm going from non-conflict to like i think yeah i think i'm turning nasty and i'm trying to you're getting nasty i'm trying to keep it in though i'm trying not to be nasty nate i'm trying to i don't want to be no conflict either but i was i was happy there's no conflict but uh but people were no i want you guys i want them to have conflict yeah because i last time i saw each of you you were what's the word bitches
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
He's the writer. I like Nasty Nate, though. I'll be Nasty Nate.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Shane's seen it, but it was years ago.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
He punched a special needs guy at an open mic. He wasn't special needs. He was after you punched him. I did. I did punch him. He asked for it, but... He probably was bipolar, though. But that doesn't count. I think you can punch a bipolar. You can't punch a bisexual, you can punch a bipolar.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
I get the double negative. Damn, he was bisexual bipolar? He was definitely bipolar. He was possibly bisexual. What? He got in a kissing distance.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
The first thing he did was blow a kiss at me. That is what started the conflict. I was walking into, it was like an open mic at the time that we were going to, and I was walking past and I just tried to say what up. And we got, cause we were clearly not like having, we were clearly having tension, but I was trying to not worry about that. And I walked past, said what's up. And he went.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
And then, you know, I didn't sock him right then. Time had passed. I went outside to smoke and he just, he was trying to fight me, but like in an alleyway. He was like, let's go to an alleyway, wait for the mic. And I was like, you're a psycho. I know you're gonna try to stab me back here. He's gonna try to suck you. He's gonna try to suck you. I just came back to the mic. Zen. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz
What? She does. I've watched like four interviews. It's so funny.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz
He ashed the shrimp. Yeah, he ashed it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz
So you can't... Steve, drink a fucking beer. You're a fucking pussy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz
We can't keep going on like this. All right. All right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I mean, that would be an heirloom. Finding a jeweler to do that had to be impossible. You'd be surprised. Oh, true. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
If you can't flood both sides, what are you even doing? Wait, so the other side is no diamonds?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
But yeah, it's pretty wild stuff. Yeah, it kind of doesn't get black people to start going around wearing swastikas. That would be devastating.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
All right. I won't say no.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
What are you keeping it from? I had no idea about the album. I had no idea.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
A little harder right now. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think you would actually die.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
A thousand guys. From a scourge from God?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I'll fucking fight you right now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
You're the horniest guy. I was sitting here quiet, like, yes. That's fair.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
They would try to save the sluts. You'd have to watch out, though. I'd be talking to the Nazi bros. They're giving pussy out over there, man. Fucking chill out. Let them do their thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
That's probably my favorite thing he's doing right now. Not probably. A hundred percent.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think it's a room. I think they're still together.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
A hot wife, I meant to say. Or she's a hot wife. That's even worse. Then he's a cuck. I mean, but isn't that, that's hot wifing, though, when you go around.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Get an okay rental bulldozer.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah. Huh? No, that's what's nice about her. Those are giant nannies. She's natty. She's not enhanced. No, she's pure nanny. She's blessed by the Lord. Who? Bianca Sensori. I don't know. What does she do? Is that the current lady? Yeah, that's his wife. Current wife. My bad. In my mind, everyone knows her.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think we need tough guy podcasts. Like, what's your favorite tough guy podcast? I think it makes America look good. We're around. We're talking tough. Who else is doing tough guy podcasts?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I mean, all the country. We have so many. Our tough guys need other shit to do. We're out of world tough guy work.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I'm just a shitty radish farmer.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
yeah like have that shitty caffeine overdose feeling it's just anything that happens but guys fucking know that i saw you hang up on somebody because the food was coming can i bring that up that was my wife yes absolutely that was a good that was a great story yeah you were i don't know if you were you were on the phone when food was coming you were coughing up you started seeing the food you were like i i can't fucking do like you just kind of
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Weren't you on a Joe Fast before then, though?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, only when I'm drinking for the most part. I kind of love it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's probably the best. Or I like night drinking when you're getting tired, but you don't want to end if you're in the middle of a good night.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah. And you're like trying to just crush water to sober up and it's doing nothing. It's making you sick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
I can swim a little bit. It's just my ass. Your ass rises. That's the funniest part. I think it's just my pot.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
No, don't put that on me. Don't put that on me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's always LeBron in a French made-up. I think he did for, like, Halloween. He did for Halloween? I think he did it for Halloween. Let me see. Oh, my God.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Go ahead. What did you say? I was going to say, does that mean like back then, like now we're bummed when you have thot daughter. Does that mean back then they were kind of like, yes, she's a whore.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, man. So we're the ones who started caring about thot daughter.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
No, I was inside all day, all night. I went out to walk the dog. That was it. Really? The stars were good last night. Was it a special star day?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. What the fuck are you talking about?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)
It was like a lunar eclipse and a blood moon, right? Like a red blood moon or something?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
It's like, I'm in Europe.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That was so funny to me when I found out how dumb white people think Polish people are.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
They're like, fuck it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Or he meant what he said.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Do you think he had like a Nazi babe with him? He was like, you won't do it. I'll suck your dick right now. I don't think that Nazi babes exist.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I've never gone over that. What he said. What did they say he said?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Because when you first hear it, it's like, all right, it's a couple of points of your followers. Then you hear a word, don't take inches off my dick. And you're like, all right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I'm going to start doing that rage bait.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, I make big white dollars.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I could flip it. I could flip it and be like... Just find... Flip it. I'd have to replace my woman, though. That would be... And I don't want to do that. That's the only way I can think I could flip it. If you went at Black Queens, you think you'd have to replace... I'd have to get a Black Queen and be like... And share the wealth. Or you could just wait.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What do you mean? You could get some money. You said there's no coming back. The only way to come back is to be like, all right, I start all over. Get a dashiki. Get a black queen.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Or I could get dollars on. Fuck everybody's head up. It's been a quiet. That would be nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Fall in love with Rachel Dolezal. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, there's been a lot of... Yeah, I think the Celtics are supposed to be good, and they're stinking. They're getting crushed by the... Who are they?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, the Knicks. I mean, that one was supposed to be a good series, I think, but I didn't know I saw them getting crushed like they're getting crushed by the Knicks. Yeah, but their game was brutal.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I have them up right here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I hate to say it, but I do think Jason Tatum is going to get more than 25.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I'm giving a no on that. I don't think – I think there's no way.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Less. Less. My bad. Less.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I think less than eight boards. You think so? I think so. I don't – You don't think he's putting that ass on the other players? Yeah, I don't think he's got the hustle in him today.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
They're up in the series. I don't think he's got the hustle in him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Now I'm kind of thinking, I think who's going to win the finals is going to be a Western Conference team. Honestly, I don't want to say it, but I think my guess is the Nuggets. If I'm calling everything now, I kind of quietly think the Nuggets are going to surprise everybody.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, I think the Denver Frosty Nuggets. Damn. That worked out perfect for them, actually. I didn't think about that. Frosty Nugs for Denver Nuggets. You think they'll win? Yeah, I think they'll win. I think the Pacers are surprising everybody.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, I think they're going to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals. I think they'll get shut down in the Eastern Conference Finals.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Somebody will run through her. She'll turn to dust. Bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Not for a second. She would put up 50. Yeah, dude, what are you talking about? She's going to have to use a regular-sized ball. I'm pretty sure the WNBA ball is smaller. It is, yeah. That's fair.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I'm not anti-Kaitlyn.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Just put her and Reese in.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
True. CeCe? Then they can join forces, reunite.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
And just please come to Optum Noctis. We're going to have, you know, me, Lemaire, Gardini. It's always fun. We always have, I mean, Max dropped in the bus. That's just been sick. Thank you to everybody who's come. Just please come again. Thank you. June 6th, Optum Noctis.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Don't you do that too? Well, I use the Nespresso. I hit the pods.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Is that about 200 milligrams after the whole thing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
My guts can't handle cold brew. It dominates me. Really? I take a little bit of cold brew, I'm shitting. But it's kind of a nice move if I'm not shitting. Get some cold brew. Fix all my problems.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
You think it's going no cig, just going to the pouches? It could be the pouches.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
It always looks sick to me. I don't pay attention to politics, so I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
To visit, to not live.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What? What? You saw you repping the Lord. Had to say what?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What made y'all make the move, like the church Mother's Day move?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
It's just like... How far are you from one of the big cities? Huh? How far are you from one of the big cities in central? Because aren't the two north and south?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Okay. How long is that drive?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
All my homies lads.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I knew that was girl stuff. My girl just fucking made us do that. Asked me because I got a TV to put the light behind it. Like that ambient.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What's your game animal?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, that's what I've been playing right now. Kingdom Come is the shit. I could talk about that the whole time. I won't do it, fellas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That's like a World War II game? Nah, like medieval. What? It sounds super hyper-realistic. You have to forge your own weapons and hammer out a sword. It's... It seems like it would be dumb as hell, but it's fire.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
You can bed wenches. It's pretty nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
You're a blacksmith's son that's, like, working his way from the bottom to the top.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Something like that. You start as, like, a peasant. In the first one, you're a peasant, and then you work your way up to, like, being, like, you got... You're working with royalty. You're still not royalty or not a noble. I know what you mean. Yeah, but they fuck with you. And then the second one starts off, a bunch of chaos ensues. They steal all your shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
So that's how they get you to start from ground one. Like, you and your whole crew get... I mean, your crew gets butt-fucked at the beginning of the game.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah. You only survive because you were being horny with your bro. Like you and one of your bros sneak away to go look at ladies take baths. Whole squad gets murdered while they're doing that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
It's exactly that. That's how the game opens.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, you were camping on the side of the road. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, that game's sick. Both of those games are sick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What if your kids get into gaming? You think that could get you in? Oh, big time. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Man, the best party family game used to be Rock Band. Hit a full Rock Band or Guitar Hero World Tour. That was the one I fucked with. It was Guitar Hero World Tour.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, for sure.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
One day they'll figure it out, but that's what happens. The kids get nice quick. Yeah, that's true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Nah, I'd be pretty happy, I think. Honestly, if I saw my dad controller smash, I would be like, I am his son. True, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I didn't get nothing. I feel pretty bad about it, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
We were... I almost brought this up when we were doing the page last week because we were talking about X videos and how fucked up some of them videos look. You can always see the counter. It'll be one where it's like, that looks crazy, but it'll be like 30 million views and it's just like, That's crazy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if that makes sense.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That's a bad losing attitude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Do you ever? Most of the games me and my lady play are cooperative, and she's never carrying the most weight. So we're cool.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Cool on that now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, she plays like the Baldur's Gate. We play Baldur's Gate when he was saying his lady plays. That shit was sick. Playing Borderlands 3, the old John right now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Well, it can be a little bit of both. Hold on, here we go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Is it smart? It's, like, I mean, you can literally fuck the other people in your group. You can't, but you can't, but the thing that's... You guys are swinging on RPGs. My girl did the respectful thing, though. She only made her character fuck the ladies. She didn't do no, she did no. I was like, that's a nice. She didn't catch any Baldur's Gate pipe? No, Baldur's Gate pipe.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I would have been mad, too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, I'm like, what? Was your girl in the game before you, or did you get her into it?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
We're talking about them porns that the girl X video looks too young and you try to fire it all. Oh, you see like how many people have viewed it? And you can see right under the video how many people have viewed it and the numbers are always nuts. It's always like a billion views. I know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
See you later.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Pick it up. Pick it up. The bros always bring some good shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah. They got whole fucksies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
My dad has them now. They fell out his mouth or my nephew's head. He was like five.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, true. It's got food residue. Dogs are freaky, dude. Dogs are freaky. Lick ass and eat your fucking dentures.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Oh, I forgot you weren't there. Yeah, we were saving the X for you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That's just how I move. I just gave her a nice call. How you doing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That's double devastating. Even your fake teeth can't stay on your teeth.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That is a wild thing to say to a 55-year-old man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Who's the guy that's tracking the LeMire pose?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What you got in there going to work on?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Start to send her some Amazon flowers, but I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Just a jacked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Jacked pussy getting pastor.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Married in there?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I wasn't going to get that today, and it was like, well, at that point, she don't even care no more. Yeah. My mom doesn't like flowers. Ah. I think my mom, my dad used to be a flower dude. And then he stopped. And so I think it brings it back to like, somebody still getting me flowers. You know what I mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
What were the meats, Paul? Seafood. Seafood. Oh, seafood bars. Gave my black queen a seafood.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
That's awesome. That's awesome. What do y'all think about this? Happy Mother's Day to just a dog. My girl, we have a dog. She says she's a dog's mom. That's her white girl stuff. She kind of was shooting for it. I felt it towards the end of the day. She was shooting for a Happy Mother's Day frontman. No. I'm a big no. I'm not going to lie. I did give it to her in the moment.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, but I was like, come on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I didn't even think about it. I showed up late. I got home late. I went to the Stars game yesterday. Dallas Stars. Got in that ass. And showed up at 10. Just no energy. I was cooked. I just was sitting there. I couldn't have gave her none on Mother's Day if she wanted it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was screaming. I was having a good time. I didn't know nothing that was going on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
My pops used to try to be a romantic, romantic, rent a limo, go do. He used to be like that kind of guy. He went all out for it. Couldn't afford it though. It was probably a real bad move.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Like a life-changing moment for you. You're done getting work as a video boy now, I think. I guess so.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Do you get a bag? Does he give you one of his bags? Is it a trade?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
The tariffs on the babes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Yeah, or when you're working in the office, like, that's what I used to do. I used to send them my girl drones, and that was all it was for.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
It's crazy how many countries will act that way, but they're so clearly wrong. Just we're the best.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Come on, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I don't even think people would miss y'all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
And every lady in the place is jealous. Yeah, that's it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I thought they wouldn't be on the list. That was about to be my guess. I thought they were just bodying them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Damn. That's not a good look.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
You don't want it to get out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
I saw all this stuff going on with Barstool. It sounded like y'all knew it was going to happen.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
the wild wild west oh hell yeah nate jackson dude making it easy for me bro you got the name tag on god damn dude it's awesome shut up to work bro little narcissistic jacket my bad dude so i um i saw your your clip and i think you took it down with a freaky ass little boy I don't know. I think it's up. Is it up? I couldn't find it. I was trying to show my wife.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, I guarantee Red Bull's been sued five million times.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, people have heart attacks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
What? Yeah, dude, if you drink too many, there's people who have, like, genuinely no understanding about, like, what's in anything, and they'll just drink, like, I know people who drink, like, five Rockstars a day. Back to back? Yeah, during the day. It, like, fucks up your kidneys and shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's what I thought. I thought he genuinely did have, like, a tick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, Red Bull, okay, 13 mil, that's nothing, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Throughout the situation, Red Bull insisted their marketing tactics were honest and clear, rejecting any deceitful practices. However, the lawsuit was settled in 2015 when Red Bull paid customers $13 million, but maintained their marketing was not dishonest. You can't see any of that glare? I just ripped right through it. I didn't see it until you mentioned it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
No, now that you mention it, now all I can see is you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So you can't do that twice. Yeah, you can't fuck around.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yep. That's like the dude who measures cereal.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If anything, we think we're older now than those that think young. I do like the Coca-Cola commercials when it's just beautiful people just dancing on a rooftop. And it's like, dude, they're not slamming Coca-Colas, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You know what I mean? This is like a bunch of models just chugging Coca-Colas and doing salsa dancing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I stopped eating behind the wheel. I got in a small accident one time. What were you driving?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
uh i was driving like a just a minivan you were driving a minivan yeah so i think it's like my friends uh it's like an astro or one of those things like a safari okay and what were you eating tacos that's pretty aggressive for driving it was it was too much i did i did have a little white wine too beforehand so you were drinking and driving in tacos
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think I drank before and then I took food to go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I don't remember. I don't think I was drinking white wine while driving. Were you blacked out? No, no, no. I was like barely buzzing. That was the problem. But if I was drunker, I wouldn't pay attention.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. He started wigging out. True. Look, he was there. You know, he was there, and he was licking the air. And it did, like, change. Because I was watching, like, what the fuck is this kid doing? And he was just licking the air. And then once he started talking about him, he started like. He was killing. That's what was happening. He was murdering. The motherfucker had timing and everything.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I was at a red light eating. I just didn't realize I let go of the brake. I let go of the brake at the red light.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Rolled forward, bonked into the city car. It was like a city, like an L&I inspector. Just bonked them. It was so light, but it was just, they came out and tried to be like. They were in the car? Yeah, yeah. It was at a red light. They got out the car, and they're like. They tried to be like, what the fuck? They were within their right to be like, hey, what the fuck is that about?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I just put that down. I was like, dude, I don't know what the hell happened. And they were like, we're going to call the cops. I'm like, come on, man, don't do that. That's crazy. You guys don't have any damage. And then they were just like, you know, just got out of it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yes. I just let go of the brake and just totally.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I sure have. But I have good, I've had people hit my car multiple times in a similar situation. I was like, whatever, man, we're fine. Yeah, if it doesn't leave a mark. Exactly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's what I'm saying. I was like, so I let two people off the hook and I think it just kind of, I had a lady fucking nail my car. But it was like a Ford Contour. Dude, they had like a steel bumper.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The car was such a piece of shit. Her car or yours? Mine. Mine. It was like a different color panel, all that stuff. And I also had a guy at a wedding. The car was like such a piece of shit. But the guy backed in and crunched my door in.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And I fully went after his ass. And I got more than the car was worth. Damn. And he was really pissed off about it. And then I felt kind of bad about that because I did definitely just pocket all that money. Didn't fix the car. From insurance?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
He, he only, he wanted to go through his insurance. So he cut me a personal check for like $1,700 for a car. And I had, he was like kind of, you know, he was like kind of like evading me a little bit. So I had to like call him up and I like, well, I was outside his office, his office. I'm like, bro, I need to get my car fixed. Like you got a fork.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And he was like, I know you're not fixing this fucking car. And I was like, bro, I'm fixing it right now. I didn't do that. Yeah. Cause I wasn't in the car. He, I, we were at like a wedding and he backed into the car. He did fuck my door up, but after... Was he at the wedding, too?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
He might have been having a little white wine and tacos himself. He was part of the family? It was like in-law, other side. You know, the two sides come together at a wedding. So, yes. It wasn't blood. If it was blood, I would have let it slide, but I don't know this guy. I don't know this fucking guy. And it was a long time ago. He's on the other side of the aisle. Fuck him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I'm a better person now. But back then, I was hungry for that paper. I need my money. Yeah, I was like, give me my $1,700, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I had an old Chinese guy hit me one time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, you could have really wrecked his life, too, if you were like, nah, the cops are coming, bro. Yeah. Yeah, you could have called ICE. Potentially. Potentially. That would suck to have to go back to Honduras over a fender bender. I wonder if it was Honduran.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's like you have a family, you have a job, you're living the American dream, and then it's like, no, dude, you scratched my paint. Wait, the fuck you doing eating tacos in traffic? Yeah, you got to go fucking back. He's like, what's a taco? Yeah, true. Yeah, and an old Asian guy bumped me one time. Really? And, dude, it was like we were in like neck to neck.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
We were just like in like gridlock traffic, and he just somehow, and I'm like watching the whole thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yes, and I was like, there's no way. He just tried to get into my lane and hit my car, and I was like, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, we were – it was like – I started laughing. Were you parked the whole time, like still? We were pretty still from what I remember. I think we stopped. But did you inch forward at all? No, it wasn't one of those because I always – I let people go. I'm not going to be like, no. He like came – I didn't even see him. He was behind me. He just came from behind?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, so I think I was like... Wait, hold on, I'm sorry.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
No, did he, dude? I got hit by an old Asian dude hitting me. From the back.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That would be crazy. I think I just saw him in my mirror coming, and I was like, what the fuck is this guy doing? All of a sudden, he was just donking. I was like...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
bro he was so funny when he came out he was just like an old asian guy it was like he got alerted he had the exclamation mark above his head and it was i was like dude you're too funny you gotta go i can't i can't hold this against you this is so funny get his name no i i was he was couldn't speak any english and he kept being like oh not so bad not so whatever he was trying to say and i was just like bro you're you're hilarious let's go you guys are so fucking funny that's amazing
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, so that's why I got blessed by the L&I guys from the city. They could have got me. They're tied in with the whole thing. So you're saying it's karma. You believe in karma. Big time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's just how I roll. I wasn't even thinking about the future rewards. I've always fantasized lightly about someone fucking nailing my car or something and me just being cool as fuck and being like, dude, I don't even care about material possessions.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's a city vehicle. They probably fucking did. You changed their fucking lives. They'll never work again. That's, by the way, that's what cops are all after. They're all trying to get put on disability. Like, oh my God, it's crazy. I thought construction was bad. Cops are like, they all want to go on disability. I mean, I shouldn't say all, but I would say like 99.6%. 0.6 is so specific.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I'm going to leave it a couple.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Like a poll. 0.4, bro. Yeah. Well, I've
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So a cop can't sue the city per se, but yes, if they get hurt, they can go on just basically disability and the city will cover them. If you get hurt, you can't sue the city and get a million bucks. But if you can prove that you're hurt because of the job, you'll just carry cop benefits for the rest of your life and you can just chill.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, but what they will do is if you're not hurt enough, they will put you on desk duty. So if you can prove that, like, if you sit down at a desk and it still hurts your back. Like, if you're like, oh, I can't sleep, they're like, yo, to desk duty. But if you, like, get fucked up and you're like, dude, sitting all day doing paperwork. It's not going to work. Yeah. My knees are locking up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, when they bring a five-year-old out. It's like the casino. You see the casino.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
My back is... They'll fight you on it, but if you can prove it, they're like, all right, and you just have... You're done.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You probably have the same thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. I knew a dude who lost, like, a couple hundred grand playing goalie in street hockey when he had a case. I knew a guy... They took pictures of him just fucking...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
What was that movie where the guy at the very end was like limping and he starts walking? I forget, there was a fucking... I have no idea. There's... I think so, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I'm just talking about Mr. Terry. No, there's a movie where, because I used to work with a guy who fucked his foot up, and he would limp, and we'd all laugh. Like, dude, I guarantee on Friday, he just fucking, as soon as he gets to his car, he's like, ah, all right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Because he limped, and he, I think he got like, yeah, they fucked his foot up like forever, and he got like 100 grand, I think. I think there's like prices. Like, if you lose a finger, that's like 16,000 bucks. That's it? Yeah, I mean, you would think so for a finger, but, yeah, it's not like you don't get, like, 100 Gs for a finger.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
True. They got to break it. You're fucked, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I could be wrong about that, but I think there is, like, a real, like, value thing on, like, your body parts for, like, if you lose them at work. Is there a value? Yeah, I think a pinky is, like, pinky you get, like... What do you think is the most expensive body part? A private? Yeah, if you lose your dong, you're fucked, dude. Because you can't even reproduce. That's got to be a milli.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Or they might be, like, a deli counter. Like, they have, like, what's your meat limit? There it is, the value of body parts. Yeah. There we go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's got a blur on it. Yeah, so assembly line worker loses a finger, might receive 18 Gs. I'm pretty close. Accidental death and a dismembered insurance policy might be $5,000. What the fuck? I'd be pissed if someone paid me five grand for my life.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Appreciate you for coming here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
uh your arm would be 124 there we go eye 64 finger yeah so your pinky finger is 6 000 your thumb you do get more you're absolutely right 35 but 35 bro that's not enough to never be able to grip again yeah i mean a thumb your eyes worth more than your thumb how because you can't see folks 82 yep and so you can't even balance without a big toe Yeah, dude, that's what you get.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
New York Workers' Compensation Board. They figured out your body parts in a dollar amount.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, $100,000. $115,000 for a leg? That's not enough. Why is your arm worth more than your leg? I guess it's easier to kind of have like a peg leg, I guess.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I guess, you know, you use your arms more, but your leg, you can just stand on whatever. It doesn't even fucking matter. Get a kickstand.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's true. Yeah. I also do a pushup. Mash yourself against ladies tits and be like, what? I'm being nice. I'm fucking can't drive.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, legging, you just peg it up. You'll be all right. But yeah, now you know. No ear? What's an ear if you lose your ear? But I think this is the trouble of working for yourself. Yeah, losing an ear, I don't think they even include that. But if you work for yourself and you lose your hand, you're just fucked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dick's probably, like, they keep that behind the glass. That's, like, reserved information. They don't want people knowing. Dick's got to be millions of dollars. Your ass? Yeah. If you blew your ass, they'd be like, here's 80 grand.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I know, dude. I really appreciate that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's got to be the least. You don't even need it. I fucking blew my ass up at the factory. They're like, dude, shut the fuck up. Can you type in how much is an ass worth? I think something else is going to come out. It's got to be. True. What's an ass worth right now? What is ass worth right now? Shit. Depends on if it's from a prostitute girlfriend or a wife. A wife, half.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, so I don't think you can, I don't think you can like really.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I didn't think, yeah. I was like, when you were going.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Because they can also, if you're talking about losing a cheek, they can put a pop of cheek on. That's nothing, man. You can mix and match with that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. If you like someone somehow, like again, that'd be a crazy accident to cut your ass off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Or a mailman. They got that whole window open, man. If you fall out, you can just scrape your ass off the fucking side.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, if you lose your ass, you know, again, it's like, the problem is if you somehow destroy your asshole at work, that's where the big bucks come in. You get the hole, they got to pay you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
True, yeah, they pull it down. Yeah, they can cut out like half your intestines and they're like, whatever. We got over 100 feet. Yeah. Who was I talking to? I don't know. Someone I know had a shit bag temporarily. They got fucked up. Because of that? He didn't fuck his ass up at the factory, but he had something else going on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think they gave him a temporary setup where he had a colostomy bag. Yeah, he had the colostomy, but temporarily? So I don't know if it was for life. I don't know how the fuck they do that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I didn't know you could, I think it's a camelback. That's like those back. No, I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I'm sure you can have one of those, but a pee bag, I wouldn't, a pee bag wouldn't be bad. shit bag is rugged dude to be out in public right my friend has a he has actually a ring well not a ring doorbell but he has security cameras around his house and he's caught a dude emptying his shit bag in his driveway really on cam yeah that's a do you know that guy no he doesn't know that guy
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's already in a bag. Take it somewhere appropriate.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
His house was in like a... The neighborhood's kind of fucked up, but it was like his house has like a driveway and none of the houses have driveways. Okay. So people would go up there for years and like, dude, people would fuck back there. So it was like... Oh, he had that house.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, exactly. And it's right off of in Philly, there's like Lancaster Ave. And that's like, Lancaster Ave is like an open area. It's like an open area, like drug and prostitution markets where everyone goes. He's like a block behind. So that was like the quiet area you would go to do shit. But to drop out all your shit out your bag there. That's disrespectful. Yeah. Fucking is one thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, dude. We're fucking forging a connection. I feel fucking blessed as hell. I feel more blessed.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But he does have, he has it all on vid. He is like, dude's just...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
busting on prostitutes quickly on video like just little quick videos yeah well it's just that's it doesn't you know he has the video could be as long as they want but good at their job man yeah especially when you're standing in the driveway you got the adrenaline pumping you're holding up a leg blood flowing yeah dude yeah they he said he's like i gotta pour out my shit bag
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, it's like disturbing. He showed me some of the videos and I'm like, man, that's like almost disturbing. You should put it out a series. It would be within his right. Honestly, that's a dark driveway. Like that's your, I'm like, that is your content. You could put it out. It's like shit bags. Fucking mostly people fucking probably be the stuff people want to see.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, my fucking ass is wet, dude. I'm just going to go the other way. See how it happens? Do you see what I'm saying? I know. I actually do get freaky as hell. By the way, we're just jumping in. How freaky would you say you are? I don't give a shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Well, I feel like if he hung up a little disclaimer, it's like, yeah, at that point. Yeah, be like, we are live. You think people don't give a shit? Or they just don't read it. If it's nighttime, it's like, you can't see that. But then it's like, you're going to go sue.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's like when women have condoms on them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of finger banging going on in the church parking lot, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I didn't know where I was.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I used to do behind the Verizon store. There was a Verizon that they just stopped construction on. So there was just an empty Verizon store. That was like my spot in high school. There was a Les Schwab. A what? Les Schwab Tire Store. Oh, a tire store would be decent. I used to keep a blanket and a pillow.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's what I'm saying, how freaky. I mean, really, gay is the end of it. You just get gay at the end.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's kind of a nice little carport.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, we'll blank his name.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
He was fucking. No problem. Yeah. I had a. Graham cracker toenails. My dad. My dad called me carrying like the blanket and pillow to my car one time. He's like, what are you doing with that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
He was like, we don't. I was like, I don't know if I ever have like a sleepover. I'll be like ready to roll. He was just like, all right, dude. I also had like some like landscapers. The Verizon finally went like active. Yeah. And it was, like, it was during the day, too. I was just going nuts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And these Mexican dudes just walked out and just, like, came up to the car and had to be like, yo, yo, yo, yo. Get out of here, guys. This ain't the spot. Come on, guys. I'm more. I'm more. Mountain Dew. You know what we all need to get more of? Off our ass.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
With bold flavors and a refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew will have you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain. A mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportion awaits. Call out my favorite flavor. I'm going to go with original today. I'm having an original kind of day today.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I mean, it's the tip of evolution.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Talk about what game slash activity you'd play with friends. Should be fun, competitiveness, and social activities. Well, first, me and my friends would sit together and just all drink a responsible amount of Mountain Dew, and then we'd go to the bars and talk to the ladies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And if the ladies weren't exactly feeling us, we would just go back home and just do some bench presses and work on our physiques and try to get ourselves as ripped as possible so next time we see the ladies, they're going to want to kiss all of us. The mountain is calling, and you should answer.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's like the evolution moves in a spiral. It just jumps to a whole different thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Blue Chew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and in a chewable form. The process is simple. Sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Blue Chew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part? It's all done online. That means no visits to the doctor's office. And I have something to say about that. It's semi-discreet, but they fucking ship it to a giant box in your house that says, have the best sex of your life, Blue Chew. So maybe discreet the packaging a little bit more.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
They sent me the fucking sampler. It came to my house. A motherfucking babysitter saw it. I had to be like, ew. Not that it matters if my babysitter thinks I can get hard or not, but it just fucking kind of pissed me off. Anyway, guys, Blue Chew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part, it's all done online.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That means no visits to the doctor's office. That's true. No awkward conversations and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. And guys, I gave you my personal tale. Blue Chew wants you to have the confidence to perform at your best, so discover your options at bluechew.com.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code Drenched at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's BlueChew.com promo code Drenched to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think it's when you start eating women and stuff, like eating their legs. Like cannibalism? Yes, like sexual cannibalism. Where's baby oil? It's like a bullet. It depends what you do with it. A bullet? Yeah, like a bullet by themselves or like nothing. It just depends. Are you shooting somebody? Jewelry. Yeah. Right. So I think baby oil depends what you're doing with it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash. Run your game all season long on PrizePix.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
PrizePix is the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance policy so your lineups stay in play even if one of your players gets injured. If your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return, PrizePix keeps your lineup live. They have an exclamation point. I'm trying to honor their exclamation points. Keeps them live. Sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Another exclamation point. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. Another exclamation point. Jesus Christ, man. Think Justin Jefferson will get more than 83.5 yards next week? Lamar Jackson will pass more than 1.5 TDs? Hook up hot takes with your friends and we'll win real money this football season when you and your crew run your game on PrizePix.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I mean, guys, you know how I feel. I fucking... Love, love real money sports action, daily money sports action, fantasy platforms. Guys, come on now. Download the PrizePix app today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code Drenched on the PrizePix app to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game. Come on now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Come on now. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Let's talk about True Classic right now. I mean, I genuinely like True Classics t-shirts. They have absolutely ousted the other t-shirts in my closet. I just, they feel more, I used to wear Uniqlo, and now I do kind of look like a fat, squished body in Uniqlo's. They like, they're real flowy. Anyway, I do like True Classics.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
They, you know, whatever. Designed to accentuate your best features, True Classics shirts are tailored for a perfect fit. Snug in the arms and chest with just the right amount of room in the midsection. True Classic sells premium products at an affordable price. You can get their best-selling T-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and more in 3, 6, and 9 packs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
True Classic's activewear becomes essential for workouts and vacations alike. Their activewear crewnecks offer moisture-wicking, quick-dry, and odor control. Pair them with their super-soft, stretchy joggers for all-day comfort. The holidays are here, and True Classic's ultra-comfortable, perfect-fitting essentials make for the perfect gift for you and the man in your life. What the hell?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, they're talking about your brothers and stuff. So if you're ready to upgrade your closet, shop now and unlock big savings during their huge holiday sale. Just go to my exclusive link at trueclassic.com slash mssp to save. That's trueclassic.com slash mssp. Please support our show and tell them we sent you end-of-the-year holiday cheer thanks to True Classic. Let's get back to the show. Hi.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
We're talking about fucking in cars. We're talking about fucking in cars with a magic burrito. Check it out. Let's go. Let's go. Here we go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Would you use them like a Fifi, basically? What are you saying? What's a Fifi? Like the prison pussy people make where they put, like, sandwich bags together? No, no, no, no. So you would just store lotion in a towel in case the handjob was coming?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I thought you were saying you like squirt it into a towel. I was still in the container.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, you had the whole set. You had a mobile kit. It's a magic burrito. I see what you're saying. I thought you were saying you squirted.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The bullet you're saying? Yeah. Exactly. It depends on your intention. So baby oil, again, you can give you like your- What else would you throw as hard as you can? Rock. Okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, true. We were young. It's true, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
We were young. It takes a woman a whole life to learn how to give a handjob properly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I was getting hurt, dude. Yeah, it was the first time I got a handjob. I think it was in grade school.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, the first time I got one that I was like, hold on. Yeah, dude. It's crazy. It was a revelation.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, where the kid's like licking. He just keeps licking. Air coochie?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I'm the best, bro. I'm the best in the biz. No, I'm the best in the biz.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
No, I'm telling you, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I don't double twist. I've never double twisted.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But you were on your own. You figured out there's levels to this shit. I mean, I didn't realize how bad girls were until like grade school. And I was kind of like, whoa. I was like, yo, stop. Like, this hurts. They were just like trying to like upward it. And I was like, yo, that's a lot of meat.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'd have to say like a, maybe like a wishy-washy. I've been to like the wishy-washy before back when I was a young man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's like when you go in like the massage parlor and the Asian ladies like give you a bath and jerk you off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I wouldn't start if you haven't already done it, but the... Is it addicting or something? When you're younger, it's just like you get drunk. Those are everywhere where I'm from. They're fucking everywhere. Foot spa. They're everywhere. Foot massage. Everywhere. Every time you drive around, and once you know what they are, I'm like, ah, fuck.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The problem is, is. Kids, I'm going to the movies by myself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The walk, the entrance is the worst part. You got to like walk in and you're just like, Jesus fucking Christ. And then you're in there and then you leave and you're like, oh. Do they know you?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I do throw that as hard as I can to little effect usually. Snap.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I don't know. I kind of look like a cop, so I was like, I don't think they care.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
A lot of them have the FOP stickers on the outside window. They're paying the cops. They're like paying. Really? Yeah, you can be like an FOP donor. Okay. I remember thinking that was kind of a wild move, though. They had like FOP year after year all over the window.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You guys leave us alone. I would say allergies. I think it's a bad habit. It's a bad habit. Are you getting emotional? I'm thinking about the wishy-washy. Goodness.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
To be fair, they literally lay you on a table and just dump buckets of hot water on you and just fully wash you down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's definitely, if nothing else, it's a relaxing experience.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
No, what do you mean? Like, when I came out, I mean, your hair might be a little wet. That's kind of suspicious.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Like, motherfucker, you went, didn't you? The wet hair and the smelling like lotion would have been more of a giveaway, but... But not the light feet and the floating around? No, because you kind of, like, come out of there, like, ugh. You have to, like, emerge back into the world.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's like, if you're ever, like, a sex shop, you ought to, like, walk in and walk out, and you're kind of, like... Do you feel dirty? Yeah, big time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
One time, no. Whistling? I wish I did, but I did see a man one time who did exactly that. I was working. I was doing demolition, and we were, like, taking down a parking garage. So my job was to, like, stand on, like, the third floor of it and just watch, make sure people didn't, like, have shit fall on them in the little alley.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And there was a wishy-washy in that alley. What? So I just watched people go in and out all day. Yeah. And, like, we would all fuck with them. We'd be like, yo, and they would come out, and, like, most people would scamper. Right. So one old man just looked at us and went... Did a little bow. You're welcome. I was like, dude, you're the man. I was like, I just want to be like you when I get older.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that confidence, that's nuts. But then you get into it, though, and then, like, you find out later a lot of them are, like, kind of like sex slaves. So that's not good. Sex slaves? Well, what happens is if you run one of those things, what you do is you bring girls over. You say, hey, like, you know, we have a modeling agency. You're really pretty. You bring them over from Korea.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And then once they get there, you just yank their fucking paperwork. And you're like, this is what the fuck you're doing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. I didn't know that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, well, that's the mama-san. But then it's like there's definitely a dude running that place. Really? Oh, yeah, bro. Definitely. They're like organized crime. Yeah, you're bringing women in. What's mama-san? That's the head lady, the old lady. Yeah, the madam. She gets to run it. Yeah, the mama-san.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, people are doing it though. Milo Yiannopoulos was like a famous gay guy. He's not gay anymore. What? Lil Nas X claims he's not gay anymore. You can't un-gay. He sucked the devil's dick, dude. He did it. You can't un-gay. I don't think you can either, but these guys are doing it, and they're making millions.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I was reading a book recently. That's fucking awesome. I was reading a book recently.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Let's check these Yelp reviews first. Yeah, I read a book. It was set in the 1890s.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Apparently they had a huge boom out there. Maybe that was the gold rush. I don't know. Ma, Miss Ma or something. First prostitutes were Native American women. Yeah, I'm sure they weren't really kind of, you know, like, hey, guys, you want a job? That might have been a kind of a coercive situation.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Back in those little towns or those, you know, they were little towns originally.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I was like, who the fuck is that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, and also she probably had the DOS on all those guys. So she was like, she called the mayor.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that was probably crazy. 1890s hitting, like, whorehouses and shit in a new, like, wild western town. That must have been insane.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Or it would be like, you know, you might have had a guy in there, like a mayor, get like rough with like a younger girl. And it's like, yeah, all it would take would be like, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit and everyone would believe it. Believe her for sure. For sure. And they could be like, I've seen, I know. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Or it could be like, he has a mole on his ass. I can prove it. And the mayor would be like, fuck. His wife would know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, I was reading another book, and it was like this, it was like, I think World, no, Korean War. And they got stationed in Germany, and they would have like their cigarettes. It was like this Irish immigrant guy who came to America, and he joined the Korean War. So, like, all the American soldiers were over in Germany, and they would have to drive, like, the laundry back and forth.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But on the road, they would stop at refugee camps and trade, like, coffee and cigarettes to, like, starving, like, refugees, like, Eastern European women. Right. And just fuck them. What? In, like, a hovel. It was, like, I was reading this, like, God, that's ruthless, dude. It was a hovel. Just, like, a shitty, like, makeshift, like, tent set up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And they would just, like, go back there and just, like, get blown by, like, starving women for cigarettes and be, like, nice. Fuck. Oh, they were giving them cigarettes for the head? Yeah, like head or just fuck them and just be like nice. And it was like he was explaining. He's like they were freezing cold and like dirty and like starving. And I was like, oh, bro, that's horny.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that's pretty horny, dude. Back then, dudes were like fucked up how horny they were.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So that's still up. I thought it was down. After I watched it, I was like, oh, maybe he has like a tick or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. Funny enough, the laundry was being done in Dachau. What's Dachau? It's like one of the concentration camps. So World War II had like just happened. So it was pretty fresh when they were like exterminating Jewish people. And that was like one of the, it was like, you know, Dachau and whatever. I always heard Auschwitz. Auschwitz. That was the big one. But there was a couple other ones. Okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Auschwitz gets, you know, kind of all the most famous one. People talk about that, but yeah, he had to go to Dachau and like he is with a Jewish guy and they like pulled up on it and he was like, oh shit. And the guy like completely freaked out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think he just, his parents were there or something. I think, like, because back then, I think your family would just get wiped. Like, if you were a Jewish dude, yeah, you would lose, like, your whole family would just get, like, obliterated. You mean just, like, during? World War II. But the Korean War. When was the Korean War, Josh? I think it was pretty shortly after.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, it was, like, pretty shortly after World War II.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Mm-hmm. That could be... Because they love fried chicken, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Because, dude, I used to work for a Korean guy, and they... Love fried chicken, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's fucking nuts. And they came over there and were like, all right, we're going to... Yes, African American soldiers stationed in Korea during the Korean War. Most likely taught Korean soldiers.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I will say, and this is actually—this could be debatable, but I feel like when black guys do become gay, they, like, really quantum leap into, like, very gay. Does that make sense?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Damn, dude. Then they all came over shortly after, set up the shops.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that was... Like that Kimora Lee look. Blasian was, like, mythologically hot back in, like, the early.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, she's White Nation.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, it's literally the hottest combination by far. Oh. Yeah, it's pretty nuts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think the hotter they are, they go either way. If they're kind of beat, they'll present pretty age. If they get hot, they're just like, I'm letting go. So the hotter they are, the blacker they act? Wow. That's my theory. I don't know. I could see it. I would. What the hell? I'm not bringing anyone a glass of water if I'm a fucking Malaysian 10.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And they don't act like that. No, not at all. I was just making a joke. But no, I dated a Malaysian girl. What was the joke? I missed it. I was just saying, if you're hotter, it's like, why would they be, like, meek and humble like typically Asians are? You know what I'm saying? That's fucking funny. And I'm sorry I missed it. That's okay. It's totally fine. No, it's worth going back to get.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
To be honest, though, I dated a girl who was half black and half Asian years ago. Was she a cop, too? No, she was not a cop. She was a fucking doctor. Well, she was studying to be a doctor. Of course. I only deal with women of magnets of industry.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
There's big leader Titans in the industries, but the, uh, I would like be sitting there like drinking water and like my water cup will get low and like, we're not even like making a big stink about it. She would like pick it up real quick, fill it back and set it back down. I was just like, what the fuck? Wow. The hell is this?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That was a, I was just a setup. It was just like, Oh shit, your water's low. Let me go get that and fill that back up. And I was like, man, the hospital, the hospital. Yeah, exactly. The hospital. I asked her, I'm like, what the fuck was that about? And she's like, it's just been drilled into my head.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, Guamanian. Chimorro. Gotcha, gotcha.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I know. It's fucking, you know. Not the worst thing in the world?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So what are your aspirations in the romantic sense? Are you bachelor for life, or do you have kids?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You're saying you're on the road a lot.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Gay white guys go. They, like, jump in on it, too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, so that was the right man being like, bro. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, dude, yes. That's true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I've seen him on TikTok.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. Can we get a selfie?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
When you're dating and that happens, it's the best. Because then a girl's like, eh. Is it though? They like that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that's true. Okay, sugar. I didn't think about that. I'm just thinking about coming. Yeah, that's true. Life building, that is tough.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. You're like, what? Why? I guess, Chad. You're a 29-year-old white guy. Why are you talking to me? What is going on? I think they think just from being gay, they get to just like take the whole menu and be like, I'll be a black lady too. I'm gay. I'm fucking.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Have you ever done that, though? Has anyone ever just, like, sat and just, like, not smashed and built, like, a genuine friendship? No. Oh, he said he has. What do you do, though? He was like, hey. Legos.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I feel like I, you know, I wasn't like, man, I wish I did that. I was with my wife, luckily, when, like, you know, we were all in, like, an air mattress, so it wasn't like...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. So that was kind of nice. Right. You know, the woman you said you were going to have sex with behind my back on camera. The cop?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That sounds really mean to me to say that. But no, dude, yeah, we met before that. So yeah, I couldn't imagine if it was like, it would be kind of weird. But then it's like, what is even the problem with that? It's like being a lady with big tits, being like, you just like me because of my big tits.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And you're both open. That's the problem too. You're both open to – if you're online dating, it's like there's just people who like they have been talking to or you have been or hitting you up and you got to be like, oh, actually, it's like – Everybody got somebody, a floater, an ex, a next, a last. Yeah, that's a practice they say.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It's called cushioning that women do where they'll keep like communications going with like four or five dudes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, it's some fucking bullshit, man. That's something I was never a fan of. Like, dude, just my friend. I'm like, I don't have any fucking friends, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that's that's pretty. Yeah, I never I was always more of a boyfriend type. I wish I was more of like the mysterious kind of sexy intruder.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
They do. Yeah. They don't just like sit at like a kitchen table, quietly smoking a cigarette.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, he's a very – Yeah. That, like, catches on, too. Once, like, enough women are, like – Oh, my God, he's so hot. The rest of the hive mind kicks in. They're like, I want to suck his dick, too. And you're like, well, hold on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But, yeah, it is tough. I never thought about the kind of, like, once you're, like, kind of doing well, then you have to kind of, like, try to pick. We have to pick someone.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I've heard about it. Does that sound right? Yeah, it's like an elite dating app kind of.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
How do you even do that, though?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I don't know why. That's been a recent development. No, it hasn't. Really?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's my question. How hard do you have to be balling?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Someone just literally told me about this. Elite Singles apparently is one.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, they probably check your follower count and blah, blah, blah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Damn. But then it's like – I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think you're still a rare material.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I mean, I mean, like, I'm like, it is a having online notability or notoriety is like a blazing sword in the online dating scene. I got to test this theory out back when I was dating online. So I had a regular profile. I was kicking around, regular dude, doing stand-up. And then my friends did a web series for and had Comedy Central. So then I got a picture. I had a small role in it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So I got to put a picture on my dating app of me with the Comedy Central logo. Forget about it, bro. It wasn't even right. I should have done it. I mean, it was kind of some bullshit on my part because I had a two-second thing on a web series. People see that and they go, TV. And the messages came in way faster.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. You guys don't snap? Yeah, that's... Unless you're calling cattle or something. Yeah. Yeah, that's – they need to hear about that. They need to stop that. If I see that again, if I see that happening, I'm going to be like – because I'm not bragging or whatever. My wife's black, so let me deal. But she'll get those guys fired up on the airline. Huge deal. It's huge.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Everybody's literally taking pictures for my show. Yeah. I mean, I was a pig. I had no problem just utilizing that time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
They don't like that at all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, it's nothing worse. My wife does that. She's like, well, just go out to dinner before the show.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
yeah it's not my real name luckily i think luckily for me i've never i'm always just kind of like i'm always like whatever and it was again i didn't have to deal with any of that stuff because we met yeah we met on air mattresses yeah but i always do rub my like what little success i have in her face at every moment i'm like dude how you like me now she's like shut the fuck up
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It is funny, though, because when you get recognized when you're dating, it's like, yes, dude, I'm definitely getting pussy tonight. Now, like, it'll happen with my wife. And I used to even, like, rub that in her face. And now she's, like, getting me into it. She's like, whatever. She's like, yeah, here, I'll take a picture. So before I'd be able to be like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
My wife does it. She'll blow my spot up all the time. And, like, they, like, don't even care. The internet, the way it is, is, like, people will, like, see you and be like, oh, my God. Or nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all or nothing, yeah. So my wife will just be like, oh, well, actually, my husband's a comedian. I'm like, bro, will you please stop doing that, man? Yeah, it's weird to sell it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I don't want that. And she's like, I'm just so proud. But I'm like, don't do that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, that's... Which is weird because I rarely even wear this jacket.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But no, it is weird because it's one of those things... Like if you were like a dentist and you had 40 fucking dental practices and you're making millions of dollars... People won't freak out like that. There's something about show business that gets... It, like, rocks people to their core.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But she gets them fired up. What the fuck? She sees gay white guys in the airplane. She'll be like, yeah. And they just like. She turns them up. She's like, yeah, bitch. Look at y'all. Okay, serve it. Okay. Exactly. Exactly. And you're just sitting there like, oh, my God. She fires them up. They feed off each other. But I think.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Come on. Yeah, that's always awkward. And the husband's like, yeah, say cheese. Like, while the love of his life is like. Dude, that is the most uncomfortable possible. For what role, though? Her, him, or me? You and him, I would say. I think she's having a great time. I'd probably say him the most. Yeah, probably.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I've, like, yeah, sometimes the pictures, you'll feel like just someone mashed their tits into you, and you're like. Yo, get off me, dude. This happened to me in... I might start being like, get off of me, ma'am. Get off me. Back the fuck up. I'll take a picture of you, too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I just have my headphones on looking down, and I tell her, I'm like, you know, stop getting the gays fired up. Oh, man, there's an entire Pokemon having an evolution in front of you, and you're not going to watch that? What do you mean? I tell her, I'm like, dude, you're getting these guys fired up. You don't want to see that? Have you been watching Pokemon? When I was a kid.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But again, if you were just like, yeah, I own fucking 47 Carrabbas and people, they don't give a fuck. They wouldn't know. If your image gets plastered onto a screen, it deifies people and people think it's a big deal.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
When I was asking you, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And then you're supposed to be like, well, let's just be buddies after you said that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You were battling the other Nate Jackson? At first.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Jigglypuff's song is a deep cut. Yeah. I mean, I know stuff. I'm watching Pokemon again right now with my kids. The whole thing? Yeah, it's so good, dude. I'm watching it with my kids.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, it is fucking weird. No, actually, for women, it makes sense, though, because they got to do, like, a thorough investigation to make sure, like, you're not going to kill them. So they all do that. No, but they... Like, you know...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I didn't always get a kick out. I had friends that would, like, completely lie to women. That was, like, their move. They'd be like, like, I was like, it was, like, years and years ago. But I've had friends that be like, yeah, man, like we were like younger. Like, yeah, like I own a business. Like, you know, we work together and I'd be sitting there like. It's all a fallacy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You don't own a fucking business. But I'm like, yeah, that was always a wild move.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You're with that? No, I would never lie like that. I always felt weird being like, because then it's like they're going to find out eventually. But like I had friends that would just like cook up these wild lies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. One time I did tell a girl I played on, I was visiting LaSalle and I just like told this girl that I played, I think like soccer or football for some reason. I think somebody said that about me just fucking with her. And I was like, yeah, I play football. And I think we made out because of that. So I saw me, that's my bad, but I was hammered.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You mean, like, the live-action movie?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I don't remember, but I do remember I stole, I stole football.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And almost got a handjob. That's not bad.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. Explain this. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And he's like, Holy fuck dude. Right. For the Broncos. I got him. And he's hilarious.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Well, dude, we're at an hour, man. Thanks for doing this, bro. That's crazy you flew in. I really appreciate that, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Pokemon, it holds up. I'm re-watching it, and I'm like, this show, I was right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
It was awesome, bro. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's what I'm talking about. I just want people having a good time, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I appreciate it, man. Yeah, once I get a new hour, dude, I'll swing there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I remember he was with like an older, I guess it was his parents or grandparents. Yeah, and he was just eating. It was just like the focused thing you're talking to. I think his grandfather and he just, this little kid started just going.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Fuck Tacoma, dude. I'm not even worried about the... What's it called? The Tacoma Comedy Club? I don't want you to say fuck. I'm kidding. I'm fucking around. They were nice. They were very nice. I don't want you to say fuck them. I know. I'm kidding. Jesus Christ, fuck them, though. I'm kidding. No, they could use another... No, fuck them. So... They were very nice, actually.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, why don't you just have sex with one of your waitresses at your club?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think so, dude. They also said that was like a spy app. They were like using that to like see everyone's location. Because if you had millions of people playing that, you could be like, sweet, and zoom in anywhere in the country. And what do you do with that information? Be Chinese with it. I don't know, dude. Just do your shit. Just squint at a monitor?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Come on, tell me what it is. I can't. Well, it'll be a great way to end. You'll just have to. They need to look it up. I'll look at it. I'll Google it afterwards. Right now? Yeah, let me see it real quick, dude. Okay. I want to see it with a rainbow. Could you give me a rainbow, Chris? It's a new thing for the kids. Images, please. No, don't show it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Followed by a kiss where the couple makes a semen and period blood in their mouth.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's so fucking nasty.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Is this supposed to, like, then I think after you, like, if you do a rainbow kiss, you do, I will give it to you if you want to be like, yo, I'm non-binary. I'll be like, yeah, you earned it, bro. Yes. Wow. You have transcended all of sexuality. That's way past either of the spectrums that we got. For sure. I will call them like, sir. If you do a rainbow kiss, I'll be like, yes, sir.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Well, dude, that's how whenever people like, you know, here's someone and I always just pop up the Instagram, watch the first clip and I watch yours. I'm like, damn, that's hilarious. And I was like, yeah, right away. I always do that. I'm like, hilarious.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I know what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, I'm so glad. They're very funny. They're very fucking funny. Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, we know where they all are right now. Everyone in the same place. Wow. He thinks he has a Charizard. Right. If we released the Charizard, we'd get them all at once. I don't know, man. What is the point? I don't know. That kind of evades me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Let's go. Let me try my hand at crowd work. I'm terrible at crowd work.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You're saying like a show.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Let's do it, dude. I'm down, dude. I can't wait. That's a fucking deal, dude. Bro, appreciate you. Thanks for doing the do. I feel evil selling that stuff, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, true. What? Yeah, they tell Xiaoping, they're like, they're doing a Soulja Boy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The dumbest of us have them. I guess that gives them ability, because that would be almost just too much. If you have millions of people and you're trying to like, yeah, it would be just a bunch of people like, ugh. So yeah, I guess you're right. I kind of, I don't know what they'd do with that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, or try to like just see what you're up to. But yeah, you'll just be catching Pokemon. Yeah, I don't get it. That's a good point because I hear about that all the time because they say we have more surveillance here in America with ring doorbells and all the private stuff than the whole Chinese government. Really? Yeah, they're saying, but it's all just privatized.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Through all the ring doorbells and stuff. That's interesting.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Which people could do that. And that could be like you just set it up to where it's like... Yeah, I die. Exactly. You don't watch it all at once, but if it's like, hey, I need to see right here, right now, you can be like, go through a whole bunch of metadata. I'm like, okay, we have all these phones in that area.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, yeah, all the cities now, too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And then cities have their own grid. So between the city's grid and the Ring doorbells, it's like, you're done.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So you can like just ditch your phone, ditch everything and just hide.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And they could just hit up all your loved ones and investigate you, basically, and be like, yo, where is this?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
He's just at his aunt's house like, don't ever get me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
What the fuck? What channel is that on? It sounds awesome. I don't know. I can't even find that. I always wanted to do, because everyone does like the 5Ks and 3Ks. You mean like running? Yeah, like a running race where you could, against like the police department, where you could like stimulate like live action chases where it's like, all right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, so it got buried. It's right there. The freaky-ass little boy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I'm going to we're both going to run out of this deli. You got to catch me and I'm going to try to evade the police.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. Well, that's like, you know, of course, I want like uniformed police officers. I want to like run out of a bank and see if they could catch me. Well, you don't got to wait to do that. I could do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
The young and freaky, that's what it was.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
As long as they don't know you got a black wife, you're good. True, yeah. Here's the plot twist. She used to be a cop. See? Exactly. I have a little thing that says officer's boyfriend because we weren't married then. Yeah, true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
But yeah, I always wanted to see if I could actually like, I mean, I ran from when I was little, like, you know, that was like, you can go to the woods and they were, they were beat, but like, okay, what if it wasn't actual cops?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That's the tag game. And that game's cool too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, I'd want like 10 feet.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You think that's too far?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
What if you had a block lead? You're already gone. Yeah, but I want like the whole city. I guess that's kind of a waste of the city's resources.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, true. Oh, yeah, they can drop a dog on you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Hit the water. Hit the water. They're fucked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Hit the lake. Hit the river. I just drowned myself in the river. Yeah, it's not going to work. And my family gets a million dollars. That would be cool if you were in that show and you just jumped off a cliff. And your family would never find you. What would you call the show? No, I'm saying that show you're talking about where if they don't find you, you get a million bucks. Just kill yourself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
So you just jump off of a cliff and die. But they're still going to find you. Like, this idiot killed himself. Here's his corpse. Yeah, you'd have to, like, self-immolate. You'd have to burn yourself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
You'd have to completely get rid of yourself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
And your life insurance. And they can sue the show and be like, yo, he's gone forever. He hid so goddamn good, he's gone.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah. I don't know what you're saying, though. So why would they be the predators? They'd be the predators. You'd be the predated.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Or if they do catch you, then they get to, you know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, true. It'd be so funny though to have that prime time, like almost like the great American chase channel where like everyone's grandmoms watching it and being like shit. You know what I mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Oh, so they got the okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
That was there for an ad. I'm pumped to drink it. That shit dilated my eyes. You're not allowed to mention extreme sports in their ads either for some reason. Why not? I'm like, what the fuck? That's like your guys' thing. Who guys is? Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. You know when you say that. Mountain Dew and ours.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Why would you say that? She was an officer, dude. She's black now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
I think they had too many people just like trying to do backflips on dirt bikes and they're like, all right, we got to drop this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Yeah, Red Bull's nothing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Dude, a girl just died drinking Panera's caffeinated iced tea.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
I was probably like, you fucking think I'm mad. He's a loud drunk. I'm like, keep doing it. He's a loud drunk.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
It wasn't my idea. I didn't even want to do this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Never. Never. I said you would. Never. I said you would. So good, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
She kept being like, did you smell it in there? I'm like, no. She goes, dude, it was the worst smell. It was the worst fart I've ever smelled.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
We had the same food. I can see the other T.O. getting him all good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
It was truly... It was fucking... Yeah, what a better way to ring in your fucking birthday than fucking authentic black guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 556 - Spud Sucker
The lady who jerked off the dolphin is still alive. Works at SeaWorld? Yeah. She works at SeaWorld. No, she's like 80-something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 556 - Spud Sucker
This Sunday, April 27th, live paintings in the mouth. Speak easy. We got a special guest. And then, yeah, paintings in the mouth. That's it. All right. Sorry, guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 556 - Spud Sucker
I'd love a bearded dragon. They don't shed or nothing, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 556 - Spud Sucker
Black people just stopped being... This is the first Irish vampire movie. Black people just stopped being portrayed as bad guys necessarily all the time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Kanye seems normal for a billionaire. God damn. What was that? Why is he dressing like that? You know I like the outfit. Cle white tee, gold chain. If you're a billionaire, you shouldn't be wearing a gold chain. Yeah. But it wasn't a gaudy gold chain. It was little. He used to be such a humble autist.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
That's nice. Fuck it. Fuck it. Sleep.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
He should let Kanye be his stylist. He should have. He should have worn the fucking black KKK uniform. That would have been awesome.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
True. Yeah, you kind of do figure it out. An older brother goes, you look like a fucking idiot.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
And that was thong song. That was like right. That was, yeah. You entered the dragon. You drew a hill.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I would have cried immediately.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Did he have to do sexual favors to get out? He probably tried. You ever seen that porn? I've seen that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I would have done anything to get out of that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, I would have gone on the table and just get it over with, dude. Sure, I would have.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Lemise, you never had a chain.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You had an alligator tooth? Man, maybe Lamar was right. Maybe you are an outdoor white. True. You were in a tough area for white kids to act black, like North Jersey. Yeah, but I still managed to do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I never got the pukas. I was jealous.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I never got the pukas, but I was dark. I was purple. I was sick every night. Every night at the beach, I was so sober. I was like...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Poop dollar was diabolical.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, that's nice. My favorite memories of the beach was just once we started drinking. Yeah. Just getting some fucking bum to buy you and your boys 30Ks of fucking Natty Light. It was the best. It was the best. It was the best night of my life.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
my sister did not take the fall for me and my bro one time what i tried me and my bro drank like a lot of beers yeah and then my parents were like what the fuck is this and we're like yeah sarah came down here got fucking shit faced it's like yeah sarah just sat here and drank like 25 beers my mom was like what the fuck sarah she was like it was them what you told me he's the run to the bus scream cry run away
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, yeah. You know what? They're fucking fine. Yeah. A lot of people don't have dads.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Give them a little turbo charge.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah. Yeah, that was a bad time for the bros. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Just sleepy girlfriend going, no, we're not doing anything. All right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, I was a – I got you, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Come on, Amaze. You can get in there. What happened to your leg, bud?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
What was wrong with his leg? What was that? Lameez, why were you lifting your leg like that? My shoe's untied.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, of course. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money. If you're going to make a big purchase, you got to make it count. What's something you bought?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's been, you know, 30 years.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Since I've tried. It's just as hard. They escape. So, I bought a bug light. You got a bug light? I got a bug zapper out there. That's, you know, kind of the opposite of what you're doing, but just as fun. You're battling. You sit in the hot tub and all of a sudden. God damn, that guy. You get some of these big bugs out here, so big. My dad's big on bugs. When they die, they go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You hear them hit the fucking bug light and they go, Jesus. God damn. Another great investment, taking care of yourself. You know, you're talking about these bugs. I didn't even think about that. Why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive, though, like between $100 to $250 a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
And you do have options like BetterHelp, the help with the bet on it. It could help you save up to 50% per session. While getting you the help you need I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself Yeah, take care of myself. I like therapy because I I've benefited from therapy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Everyone could learn something from therapy. Yeah. Because it teaches you positive coping skills.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Basically, you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is. Hate to break it to you. Your family are idiots and you're doomed. With BetterHelp, you can work toward being the best version of yourself while saving money. And because everything is online, it's easier to get into a session with your
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
schedule i love getting online sessions love that with just a few clicks you can be talking to one of the therapists you can even switch therapists at any time for any reason your well-being is worth it visit betterhelp.com mssp to get 10 off your first month that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash M-S-S-P. And also, you can't use the tokens for those either.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
May 31st. Go to Des Moines, Iowa. May 31st. I'll be at Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa. Go to that. May 31st. Iowa.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Matt, I'm excited to see your new hour on tape. Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's a really good hour. Thank you, bro. I like it. Appreciate you, bro. Goodbye, everybody. Bye.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They always try to trash Post.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
She's coming. They invented the cowboy hat too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They're trying to get Harlow for that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Harlow sang a song with an orchestra or something like that. Yeah. And he's still rapping.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
He's not even changing genres. He's still rapping. He just did it at an event. Somebody filmed it and they were like, hate to see white people use our culture to advance themselves and then abandon us. It's like...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Kevin also hit me with that because I've always complained about tweets and opinions. He's like, you're on black Twitter. He also loves that I'm on black Twitter. I'm on black Twitter.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Maybe I did. But it works getting you fired up? No, it works. And then I realized, you know, it's not a unique thought we've talked about before, but everybody's algorithm... Like, if I was a black person and saw white Twitter, I'd be like, God damn, these honkies are fucking racist, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Fine, I'll say it. They do it. It's all those guys like, I'm just going to say this. Nobody said it in the last five seconds. I'll say it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's designed to make you angry. It's fucking wild, man. Adam Curtis hit that. Fucked me up. Yeah. We got to get a new Adam Curtis, Doc. We do, man. It's been a while. I keep looking for him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Every time I see the hot ladies, I go, get the fuck off my page.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I wonder if I could have gotten easy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
yeah Meezy's is just like a lady going yeah hot Asian yeah oh wait like for babe of the week or your album no I mean just guessing guys what his yeah lady his lady's hot algorithm is yours is cosplay yeah his white lady's pretending to be Japanese so yeah so a black lady dressed as a anime character kind of did it for you I wouldn't have guessed yours just so you know I'd never I would have not got yours
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Whatever you get. There were some pig moms that you would see growing up. You'd go, God damn, that guy's got a pig mom.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You better get to the gym. Otherwise, something real bad happens. Something I don't even want to do happens.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I never really thought if you were dumb or not. You don't seem very dumb. I'm not completely dumb, but I'm not.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I got to get to the gym right now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
As far as the size of the pig wife?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I mean, you might get to the point where you get like a lady, you got to, you know, put in a flatbread. I mean, it might get to the point where you got to take out a wall to get her out of the house. If you have a giant blob pig wife. Yeah. And you can just, anything you want, go in there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You'd be in a metal bikini standing next to her going, she just kept eating. Now I'm a fucking freak.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You'd get sucked into the ring like, no. You'd get a blob wife. There are dudes, obviously, with blob wives. Oh, for sure. I love the thousand pound scissors or whatever that shit is. So TLC keeps trotting out blobs. So sick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You can fuck every part of her. Yeah. And then your arm.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
But you got a blob. Is she willing to gain for you guys? For the right price, I bet she would gain. Farrah said the funniest thing on the pod, but not actually.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think the joke is that she has such a lack of understanding of what Bitcoin is that she thinks it's an online game.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You came back for prom after?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's made me laugh every day since. Did you guys confront her on the poop video? No, people are pretty upset about it. Yeah, I didn't get to that part.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I heard you beating around the bush a little.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I heard cake farts get brought up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They were bringing up, like, have you ever done cake farts?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
That's swag. Damn. That is nice. Yeah, they all. The whole squad got held back, huh? Whole squad. Is this Redding Central Catholic? Where'd you go?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It was pretty tough of you for three men in a room to confront a woman. That's pretty awesome you guys did that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think I'd be very happy if my lady was just like... Now, if my blob were to approach you like that... Yeah, how much does my wife weigh at this point? If she's a blob, then by all means, yes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Like, I would need to charge people to come in.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I bet that's pretty fucking standard at Redding High School.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You're going to get that fucking pimping the blob. You're going to get that dragon chain back out. You're going to be back. The dragon chain. You're going to be pimping a blob.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We could get our hands on a blob around here. They're out there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I don't think we have the patience. I mean, yeah. We could airdrop a blob in here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We could get the blob out in the Lemaire room.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
And that's got a good glass. We could charge people to go look at it. Yeah, but then you need the ranch hand back. You need the ranch hand. The ranch hand would be tending to the blob. But I know what you would do, you little devil. True. I'd catch you snacking on the blob.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
A lot of infighting. People would be sneaking out to the blob room. A lot of trips to the blob room.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's not even any good tasty trees in there. They're vegetarian.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I feel like the same grade again must be nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think with animals, though, you toss fucking anything in there. Yeah, true. Beef them up. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Juiced up fucking silverback gorilla.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Now we take OnlyFans by storm. Brother, I'm right there with you. Somebody forgets to lock the...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It would need the blob. It'd be like Pete the Dolphin. The blob would fly away. He would kill himself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
course fuck changes your whole life i mean that's super senioritis yeah yeah it does although it would be senior year if no one i know now i would be a super senior senior year is fucking i was just gonna be racist i just want you guys to know good on you i'm just kind of caught myself good on you that's important you acknowledge it you go it'd be funny to just say black people have senioritis i'm not gonna do that
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It would be... If the government got wind that we were collecting blobs, it would be like Waco. They'd kind of tank through the fucking wall. They'd come for our blobs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We would have to start arming ourselves. We'd have to defend the blob at all costs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Because you know the government can't stand...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Just lay little debbies out. I mean, yeah, once we start... Once we make money off the first blob... I think we get a couple blobs. That'd be our bottom blob.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Get our bottom blob. Get all the other blobs and shit. We gotta just take the first blob, flip that into... Three, four blobs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
This blob's a little old. Yeah, blobs do. They don't last long.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Unfortunately, our sweet blobs would depart this realm quickly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You truck them out. You get them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Do surgery. Fix the blobs. Clone them. Clone the blobs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
The last thing we would want, though, is black YouTubers finding out that we have a blob, too. It'd be swarm in the house.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It'd be the bug light for black YouTubers.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You hear them coming, too. Fetty Wap. You got to try to get our blob again. Lock down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Get some dogs. Some spotlights.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Would you help defend the blob or would you side with your black YouTube cohort? Would you be in cahoots with the black YouTubers just for a taste of the blob yourself?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I'd defend the blob. You'd defend the blob.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They have statues of her in India. Those guys got a hold of fucking those videos. Holy shit, that is the Bob. That is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I wish I wasn't so goddamn sleepy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They're saying they overestimated. And there's a lot less people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, that's just coming from black people that live around black people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They go, what the fuck? Everyone's black. Why are they saying this?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You fly across the country and you go, it's been white the entire time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
But what the coasts don't understand is the blobs are in the middle. Yeah, true. You got to get out of the New Oregon Trail. You got to find the blobs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
They're in Minnesota. They're everywhere. Yeah, true, man. You get down to Missouri, Iowa. Then you head down to the deep south. There's blobs. There's blobs chilling. The best. Honey boo-boos.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
This is all fictitious. We would never fatten a woman up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Why are you making that face? My fucking blob's walking around. My blob just walked behind the camera, and we're all sitting here going, fucking women, nasty bitches.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
But you're right, though. Of course it's to shame you later.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You gave me the creamy. I would have never bought, I'd never buy creamy. All of a sudden, there's creamy in the house. Yes, I'm going to take a fucking scoop, and I go... Oh, shit, this is better than I thought it was going to be. I forgot how fucking good creamy is. Oh, yeah. I'm going to stand by the fucking refrigerator and eat a lot more creamy than I thought.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Don't even talk about that, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You could blob me out, dude. I might be a gainer. You could be a feeder. This might be Gator and Feeder's secret podcast.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We'll get podiums, dude. We'll get podiums, but I'm gonna bring in an expert and you debate them. And you have to genuinely debate them. What is it about? What do you think you're an expert on other than wrestling?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's a close second. WWE and the quantum entanglement. Once I've mastered the SummerSlam, I've headed straight into quantum. We can find a professor from Texas to come debate you. That would be nice, dude. Ooh, we should get a fucking women's studies. Be La Mer? Women's studies versus panties in the mouth debate.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I was a hack hawk. Paid my dues. I did my semester at Hack. I'm still doing it. That was actually kind of where I turned my life around as a student. Community college? Yeah, after I had failed out at Elon.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I would like to find a white race professor. That'd be fun.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Ooh, that'd be good. A white African studies to come in here and teach you guys some things.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Is there any white African studies? There's got to be a couple. It's got to be so many white ladies. Yeah, true. With hyphenated last names.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Well, Dolezal, we can't have her debate. Yeah. Also, you guys would be. I'd be pretty excited.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You have an OnlyFans. I know that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
The Department of Race, Ethnicity, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. I like that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Oh, yeah. Being gay and being black is the same thing. It is weird.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Give me the... There's no honks. I can't find the directory for the... Oh, we could bring in Italian studies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Oh, it's definitely just language. God damn it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, I was thinking there was... Because it's right above Jewish studies in the listing here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's just... Yeah. Black studies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I was like, oh shit, everybody here is dumb as fuck. And then it was like, alright, it's time to stop getting...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Faculty is the word I was looking for. There you go. I'm an idiot. What the fuck is professors?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
What's the department? I hate to be a jerk, but it looks like engineering. Oh.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's not one. There we go. There he is. There he is. There's one guy. That's fun stuff.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Every name is fucking gibberish.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
That's who's coming over here to battle us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I swear to God, I thought it was Gardini. That's why I was like, God, though, yeah, you're fucking mine. No, we can't. Whatever, we can't do that. We can't release this man. No, no, hide.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Hide whatever we have to out of that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, that's a good debate though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Astrophysicist versus, yeah, it'd be like made up bullshit versus made up bullshit. Totally unprovable gibberish versus totally unprovable gibberish. Go ahead. Stuff that doesn't fucking matter.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, it's good that you were old enough to be able to handle that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You're a beating dumbass. Be real calm and condescending the entire time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You'll destroy the libs, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, dude. I'm just going to go in there. You guys triggered yet? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yesterday I played video games. Yeah, I was... It was a pathetic day.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think Trump Jr. has a podcast called Triggered. Does he? Ooh. Yeah. Are you able to listen to it? I didn't listen to it yet, but I saw an image for it, and yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's tough. Somebody should help him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's an episode of Triggered called Breaking the Blob, dude. I thought we were... Trump Jr. on Triggered already sat down with Mike Benz and discussed what we need to do to shatter the blob. They're trying to take our blob. What the fuck? They're trying to break the blob. They know it's too powerful.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
If they're going to take away my right to blob... It's a blue wave.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's a total blue wave. If the Republicans are trying to get your hands off my fucking blob... Bro, the government's coming for your blobs. over my dead body i feel like the bobs have been staunch republicans for a while that's another thing that happens you blob out so hard you do become a fascist i think the soda band got them pretty hard also rfk has got to be a real he's a menace to the bobs
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
you know yeah but it's very funny when a guy in trump's cabinet does it so then everyone's like no yeah we need those dyes i know yeah it was like do you want your gummy worms to be gray kind of yeah root beer barrels those things are good the root beer bottle gummies those fucking rule like they better not be fucking dyes it's all dyes but you can do it you can you can easily remove those things to be a little more expensive
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
RFK would have told you to fucking regulate those things.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Bro, I got destroyed off those fucking things.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Skizzlers. Don't even bring those up. I think that was just heroin.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I think that was just fentanyl.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
That was pure fentanyl, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I was just trying to play FIFA, and then I'd be. What'd you give me, dude? I'm blind.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's pretty crazy. I worked in that factory. I realized. Yeah. It was time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
yeah those things were sick Matt yeah I was a fucking you were a feeder back then I was a feeder I was a feeder I was just sitting in the living room trying to gain and you would come in and go here eat this that was MK Ultra that was MK Ultra you were MK Ultra the fuck out of it you were MK'd be bad there just in the kitchen making shit I was like
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
College helps. There's a bunch of guys that were illiterate.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
What were you doing making tinctures?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Like, fully illiterate. They'd be like, I can't read that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We would have snatched your chain, no problem. Nah, the Dragon Chain version of me?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We would have sent Wood and Bees.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
We would have been dead, dude. Our top hitters are fucking dark.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You could have got the Barn Dog.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You would have never got to the bees. Nah. Nah. You could compromise the bees, though. True. You could join your side pretty easily. Like bees. Bees is down. Woodman's a wild card. Woodman's a wild card. He could have got it. Yeah. We just sent him to your house. He would have killed you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Lancaster Ave is a tough place to be high as shit, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You should end the podcast anyway.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I'm about to whiz. Yeah, I got to pee big time. That fucking flew, dude. That was good stuff. Got the juice flying. Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Black wife card is so nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
And I'm like sitting there like, my God. It's crazy they're going to do the reenactment of America taking Mexico? Yeah, dude. With fucking fourth graders, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Because then I can see, yeah, fuck yeah, the Alamo rule, dude. What a bunch of fucking pussies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, let's see how Mexico got that land.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
A Spanish game and cut everyone's fucking heads off. That's because they were cutting everybody's heads off already.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's like, don't do that with fucking... Yeah, Mexico, they were not very chill.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
You should do a play of the Comanche. The what? You should do a play where the kids are the Comanche. True. And they abduct white settlers and gang rape them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I was part of the tableau in the Christmas play.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Tableau was for all the kids who sucked that weren't part of the real play that just went up and did a nativity scene.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
My job was to hold a banner behind them and go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I had a feeling. At such a young age, did I ever think about it? Not one day. I thought about it earlier today.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Two Trailer Park girls go around the outside.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Did you ever get to do that to somebody with a demo tape?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Pay like two bucks for it. And you're like, I'm pissed I did that. Yeah, that's when they get you. You go, oh, thanks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
It's so funny. At least he's not really doing anything bad. He's just saying crazy shit. Yeah, yeah. Has he done anything bad other than...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
There's no way he's going away.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
I'm not sure. No, no. It's not like it's a conscious decision. It's just your body?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
He's going to be part of our lives. I don't think he's going to slow down on the tweets. We're going to get these daily updates. every day for the next 30 years. You think it's going to get darker than I sucked my cousin when I was young?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, that's as low as it goes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
He hit a little black lotus. He did it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)
Yeah, he could be having some type of mental break. Or he could just be the man. Who knows? We'll never know. Time will tell, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Like, what do you mean, if they say it and sock me? Yeah. But what if they just say it?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
And then I sock.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
So I can level up my own crime.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
What if he whispers it though? Just like not, not, he's not being actually threatening. He just hits you with a whisper is action. A whisper. You got to take action. Well, he's got to be close.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
You're about to go to the blackest place.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
We were listening to that today on the way in here. It's so good. It's so funny. When he called, I forget the designer's name. He's like, he's one of them. Virgil? Not Virgil. Okay. It was somebody else. Because he's beefing with the dead man. He's beefing with Virgil now?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Compared to everyone?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
What was the food like? That seems like you're doing cowboy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, it had to be top shelf barbecue. Beating beans, brother. What was the level? If you were at like a... You'd say a 10 for your dress? I would say, yeah. What was everybody else at, number-wise?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Damn.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
You got to shit? Yeah. Go on, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It's espresso. Do you usually fuck with espresso? No. Oh, man. Can we get some audio from the bathroom?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, the bathroom's not that close. It's not. To have to run, this is going to be nuts. I know. He's got some crazy brew in his hand.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I feel bad now. I was all hype. I got a Nespresso machine, so I just have the pods. I made us some espressos. I was like, get us woken up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
True. I know this is the worst thing he did.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
He blamed it on my coffee, but he just didn't get his morning crap out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
That's not what you're here for.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I hope he's... I'll wait.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It's got to be 15. Now I'm worried about him. I'm worried he died an Elvis death in there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah. I like the beginning where he was just explaining everything. He was like, this is all chaos, but we're going to figure it out. And then he gets there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, should be illegal or should be legal? Well, I guess either way. Yeah, pretty much.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Really? It was like 15, 16% of people were like, it shouldn't be that bad. Yeah, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
He has some stances on this that he dies on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
We had a whole conversation before about the people who beat him up, like who just beat those guys up. I think it's great. I mean, he makes a good point. You can't just be beating people up for crimes they didn't do yet is like the point. But it's like that's the war.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Well, he's just sitting there. He's just watching him go through the whole thing, just live recording Kanye, just being like, all right, where do you want me to stand?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
That one took out all of us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It's like you teach them everything. You teach them how to dress. You teach them how to, like, all the other shit. Like, you also got to know not to DM kids. Exactly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I threw you under the bus.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
But, no, you got hit with one of those, too, I think.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I feel bad because I feel like the bro is going to hear this, but I was in Cleveland with Gardini, and afterwards we were hanging out with some people, and his mom was there. Gardini? No. No, not him. If Grannini's mom was being horny, I'd have locked that up to the day I died.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
She already threw LaMera to the bus. The lady was being horny. She was being horny, but not like to us. She was being horny because we knew y'all and just saying some outlandish things about what she would do. But he's like as close as we are while she's saying like... who she would do what to.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
And it was like, it was kind of graphic. It was like, take a picture and tell them I'll do this. And it was like, I just wanted like a selfie with us. And then it also was like, send it to him and say, yeah, I'd like to know. She was like, I'll suck. I'll suck him off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah. It was just, it was Shane. She was like Shane. And, uh, would she let me watch? She'll probably suck you too. She was very specific about sending this to him, tell him I'll suck him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I never told you that? No. No. Uh, yeah, I ain't gonna, I ain't gonna obviously say it on the internet, but yeah, I was walking down the street. Um, this was months ago now, like last August. Uh, and, uh, somebody, like a guy just starts yelling my name and I, I got, I was just feeling myself for a second. I was like, we up. And then it was.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
But then I turned, I like recognized his face like, oh shit. And then, you know, we shook hands and like, then I was bummed about that right afterwards. Like, cause it's like- No pun intended. You technically got bummed.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
damn so what was he uh i don't know i don't i asked like what happened he just was like it's a good question homeless guy what happened yeah yeah because i mean when i you guys were like boys yeah yeah like we were like i've been to i've been to his house he's been to my crib when we were kids and shit like that like that level like you know i was in myspace days he was on my top eight like that did you tell him that's pretty sick
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Huh? He's probably still in your top eight. If I could ever find him, he's probably still up there. Now, when you guys talked, first of all, what happened?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
No, he was cool. The first time we saw him, he was just kind of sitting there. He just kind of was like, he did say to me like a couple of times, like, I just want somewhere to, like, I just need somewhere to stay. You tell him where you're like, I live right in the neighborhood. I wasn't even close to saying nothing like that to him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
What threw me off was him being here from all the way from PA. I mean, I feel like I have a reason to be down here. It was like to just get from right outside Philly all the way to Austin to be homeless. Probably weathered. He did it by foot. Yeah, but it's so fucking true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
that's a bus stop he had a larger plan i don't think he do you think did he plan on getting here he just got like stuck here oh i i think i think it was a stuck here thing yeah but i mean like but when i the thing that was weird about it those guys kind of fly by the seat of their pants a lot of the times yeah he was cool growing up though like he had a good upbringing he wasn't like in those shit i don't want to if i was about to start getting extra specific i know what you mean i dude i knew a guy who uh in philly i saw him at i was at a train station
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Thank you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
He calls somebody an agreeable Kamala nigga. He's just devastating. Was that what you were talking about?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Thank you. . . . . . ., in, P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . a in . . . . .. a en P P P P P P P P P P,實,c,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G, ,G, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I appreciate it, man. The vibes are already incredible.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah. Yeah, there was moments where I was just like, damn. He'll bring it back. He's not doing a bit. I was really hoping he was doing a bit. I think the last time we were talking about it, I was like, he's doing a bit. Listen to that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
You mean with the doge stuff, just see what happens? That's what I feel. Plus, I got a little doge. I'd love to see it work out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It went down. It went down by more than half. But it went up a lot because of the original. The doge coin? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It's been around for forever. And Elon just used to hype it up. It was a meme coin and shit. And Elon hyped it up. And then he would tweet about it. It would jump up. And then he was always making it grow. I got it just once because it was on the Robin Hood app. And I had... I would put like a dollar in every now and again just because it was there. And I was like, fuck it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
And then it went from being like under like .0003 of a penny to being worth, what's it like? You said 17 cents now? 17 cents now. Yeah. That's sick. And again, I had like $30 of it when it was nothing. And now it's kind of nice. It's kind of nice. You're rich. I'm not rich, but... It was like $1,000.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I was like, yes. That's kind of tight. At one point, I had it like way higher. And then it went all the way. Is that why you support dudes so much? That's literally why I support. It's very selfish interest. Mm-hmm.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I think also the guys with all the money, they have all the three things. Yeah. I think too, if you want, if you're like the personality type that you want to get into politics, like you probably have the personality type where you've already thought of all the other shit that we complain about. And you're like, no, I want in on that. Like, and that's what you dive into. It's like,
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
You go home, this is none of the biggest work anymore. Oh, shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
The fuck do you do? local politicians don't get paid much but i do think they do like like little shit big time yeah if you're getting in charge of who gets to pave the roads and shit it's like dude that's so much money there was this lady in jersey city when i was living there like the year before i left for two years she worse polish she did like you said worse what
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah. There was this lady, she did like a clear hit and run, like texting and driving. Like it was on camera. She hit some dude with her, like a biker with her car, which I mean, she did what we all kind of want to do sometimes. But blasted through them, never stopped. They got her for it. And then they started, like, digging into all of this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
She never got in trouble for that hit and run either, I think. But they started digging into her, like, information or whatever. And then they found out she was, like, living in housing that was supposed to be for families who made, like, under $60,000 a year or something. And her and her husband were both making, like, $70,000, $80,000 or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
You know, but then living in a house that's meant for people who aren't making that much and just –
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I'm not even going to lie. Yeah, I would try not to, but the city.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Just ruin Wyoming.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Or he'd have them in the choir. He'd have the biggest choir of all time. He's like, I gave y'all shoes and shirts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, it's got to be. I want to say a million, but that seems a lot. But there's got to be a million.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Oh, Drew.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Can you even get bird flu from eggs? No.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, like fucking I'll die. I'll die in that field is right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Hell, you crushed it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Ha ha ha!
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Just to beat up kids.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
No, he's using it like he grew up with black people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I've been waiting for you guys. That's been my theory my whole life. Not my whole life, but in the last 10 years is they will know all your porn history. That's why I just started talking about all the porn.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
shot that's what charleston white was saying the shot nips yeah it wasn't it was like his own like his own gang got jealous of him that's what he said again just saying it's not the guy for like the original story because it wasn't the original story like he was beefing with i think he like the story i heard when it happened was there was like a guy they were all cool who got caught snitching or something they were like you can't hang with us no more you you're done and then he came back salty like and they saw him walking up and they're like here he comes again with this shit and shot him because but they were thinking like
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It would be like if one of us just came up to you after we were beefing and just were like, I'm spazzing now. You're not going to think at all that we're about to actually do something that crazy to you. Maybe. I don't know. That was the OG story. It was like a friend that wasn't a friend no more. A friend of me. Yeah, a friend of me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Was able to get too close because they still had friend-like energy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
yeah i remember being a kid and finding out like certain rappers wasn't for real and it was just like it made me so sad think about it it's like why because they didn't murder like a fucking teenager yeah yeah like as an adult you're like that was dumb but it used to bum me out i was the same way i was like dude if you guys didn't fucking sell crack and murder people i don't want to hear about yeah yeah this is all bullshit you're not talking real murder it's true
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
It just started bothering y'all, I think. Nobody's ever cared. That's what I thought. The taking it back, it used to make me jealous how much y'all could just not feel that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
I feel like if you've been throwing it out there, you're like, well, where are you now?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
Yeah, that's what sucks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
that's what I'm saying you have to yeah and if you don't people will be like what are you a bitch yeah and it's like no I just had shit to do later on that day getting it all worked up I get it it's quite the conundrum man cause you can't yeah if you don't do anything then it's like damn this guy's a fucking bitch and then you don't go live you will feel like one later like I would go home and be like ah
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 553 - Homies to Homeless (feat. Lemaire Lee & Nate Marshall)
The internet might be like, sweet, but if it gets like further and it's like, wow, now I got an assault charge. Because it's still not legally, like on paper, you can't just sock somebody and then go about your day if they go, I got your license plate or whatever.
Monday Morning Podcast
NHL, Shows, Model Cars | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-27-25
When you fucking go out and you eat a whole fucking pig and your stomach's like, what the fuck did you just do to me? Rather than not eating a whole fucking pig again, you can take this shit and it'll make it feel like eating a whole pig yourself is okay.
Monday Morning Podcast
NHL, Shows, Model Cars | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-27-25
It was that cover. My back door. Now my bitch don't come no more. Moving on over. Rocking on over. It's just sitting there going, oh, my God.
Monday Morning Podcast
NHL, Shows, Model Cars | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-27-25
You know? I got all the time in the world, and I don't want to go on living. You know, you see it's a juxtaposition there. You know what I mean? It's like I got all this time in my hands, but I don't want any time because my woman left me or something like that, right? It's like when a fucking bull wants to fuck a cow, but ain't running around but a pig.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
I thought of Jonah Hill.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
Okay, got it. Thanks, Dad.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
And then you said Iron Man suit. Yeah. He built it in a cave.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
wow how's it pronounced guillotine guillotine guillotine weird french people say it yeah it's a guillotine more like i don't want to say it okay i don't even know where you're going i trust it though okay samurai sword samurai sword you have to learn you have to know how to cut those i mean like use them though it's gotta be really sharp
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
Dude, this is the fun episode intro. This is all body stuff, dude. Speaking of jigsaw, you want a song?
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
That was dumb.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
Yeah. That's really strange.
Ninjas Are Butterflies
134 - Alien Nukes, Ancient Libraries, & The Dark Story of Ruby Franke
Hold on tight because we talk about all that and so much more on today's episode of Ninja's Autobot Advice. Welcome to the show.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Come on! Do it! Who's... Holy shit. What the? What is going on here? What the fuck just happened? What just happened? Holy shit. Three million. How the hell did we? Look at this shit. I got stuff flying everywhere. We got flags flying. What the hell just happened? I just noticed the flag didn't come down. Where the hell did it go? No way. No, we didn't. There it goes. There it goes.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
There it goes. 500,000 to the listening audience.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Oh! Look at that guy. What a singer that guy. You guys have never seen this, have you?
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Oh, man. Man, you guys pulled this one, huh? I'm still here, but you ain't gone.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Oh, wait! Who the hell's that? Let's go. Are you, like, live here? Or is this, like, did you record? We're live, baby. We're live. Holy shit. I'm not even supposed to curse anymore.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Coming at you from Ireland right now, live, man. That was such a fun night, and I'm so glad I got to be at your birthday party. That was amazing.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Bro, I'm so honored to be your friend. And I do love America with all my heart, man. I really, really do. You know that. And I'm just so happy with everything that's coming down the pipeline. And dude, you were the guy for the job, bro. You were the guy for the job. And I texted you, or I think I FaceTimed you actually the other day. You did. And it's so emotional.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
If there was one person that you could choose for this role, if there was one person you could pick to be in the position you're in, it's you, man. There's nobody better. There's nobody that has more of a humble heart that's going to steward this so well. And that's you, Dan. You know, I really I really believe it.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
I've been everywhere. And it's so funny. I give you this compliment. I'm just trying to love on you. And you put it back on me. You deflect it. You deflect it. Just receive it, man. Like the whole world's excited for you, dude. I'm excited for you. And this is a very emotional day for you and stuff. So when Paula was like, do you want to hop on and say hi to him?
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
I was like, I don't care where I am, what time of the night it is or whatever. I have to see my guy. I have to see my friend and root him on and just know that I'm supporting you, dude. I love you to pieces. I really do.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
If you give it back to me, friendship is over. All right. It's on tape. That was your birthday gift. The greatest gift ever. But it fits you better. You look better in it too, by the way.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Don't do it. Don't do it. Your boy, Dan, what do I say all the time to you? Do not get emotional about this.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
This is awesome. Facebook's our best friend now. But also, it's silly to jump on the fuck Facebook. This is the stupidest thing ever. I don't know. I don't know. Hold.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Back up at dusk on 8-8. No one's thinking about this. The reason no one's thinking about it is because I'm a fucking moron. That's the reason. But I would love to thank the Tampa Gino show for declaring this officially the second or third.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
I think the third Frank Fregese day. And I want to take this opportunity to accept this great honor.
The Dan Bongino Show
See You On The Other Side (Ep. 2442)
Look at this, these guys cutting out, look at this. Look at these guys in the other room. Oh, look at them, fancy. Go around again.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
What about you Nate? Well right now I'm actually learning how to start my own website design agency and I'm on like the beginner stages of it. So I'm kind of interested in like the whole marketing world of business. So what I would be doing is calling calling businesses that needed a website, say I can design your website, but I can also optimize it for you. So that's the marketing aspect.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
That's something I'm really interested in. And moving on, I also want to do business school and college and potentially start my own HVAC company. That's something I'm super interested in, just like intern places where There's already big HVAC companies, so just learn from that, build my experience.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
And with this website design agency, I think it's going to teach me why I'm going to get a lot of no's. It's going to teach me that no is okay. It's not a personal attack from the person. And if I just keep pushing past that failure point, then I'm going to succeed one way or another.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
So what I'll say to them is, I noticed you don't have a website. I specialize in websites that... are proven to, well, one, I get more experience, are proven to turn over more revenue. And I would say, if they say, no, we don't need a website, I'm like, okay, I've talked to a lot of businesses that say that, and I'm going to say, well, how are your revenues looking right now?
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Do you think you could increase that with a website? Say, yes, we could possibly increase that. It's like, okay, well, here, I have this special package for you. You don't need to go fully in. I can show you my platform. I can show you my design. And we can discuss it 15 minutes later in the day. And I can go over this template I made and say, yeah, sure. So I make that.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
So I also say, well, that's a one-time purchase. A website, I'll sell it for maybe $500. That's a one-time purchase. I'm not making money over time. So I could also offer, we also host in maintenance. Now that's money that you make monthly. So I could charge.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, reoccurring revenue. So I say, I'll, hosting maintenance, that's $100 a month. Now I'm making that $500 sale plus $100 each month. And once I have 10 clients, I can say, well, I'll just double my prices. And now if I lose five of those clients, Now I still have five, but I'm making the same amount of money that I was making earlier.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
So it gives me more room to grow while making a lot more money. And that's how – at scaling, I'm pretty sure. I'm not too familiar and all that.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, sure.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
No, we just haven't spent a lot of time looking into websites.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I think it definitely would be more beneficial for sales, but
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Critical things? I just need something that can get people on the website and stay on the website. That's what I would probably look for on a website.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Probably more online. It makes it easier that way. Okay.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Absolutely. I would have to see some of your work in the past. I would have to see some of your – Maybe some videos, some other people that you've designed for, so I can get a little bit of sense of what your websites are made of.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, absolutely. I think we can definitely look into that.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, no problem.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, so that's exactly what I was actually planning on doing. So it depends on... what I actually want to look into. If I do landscaping, the thing about landscaping, it's like a lot of it's word of mouth. Some companies say, well, I don't need a website. All my stuff is word of mouth. But it would just have to be something that I could look into and find that niche.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah, I think the main takeaway I took away from the book was that focus on buying appreciating assets more than the depreciating ones. Because the more you buy depreciating assets, it's just going to take away your money. But if you focus on buying an appreciating asset, you'll get the money over time either way.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Well, I'm reading a book called Encouraged to be Disliked.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
It's a great book. If I could recommend a book, I'd read that one. And it just talks about having the courage to not really care about what the other person is thinking. It's not about comparison. It's about, it's just all about like, Whatever you do, don't care about what the other person thinks of you. If you want to go chase your dreams, go chase them.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
If you want to go ask out that girl, go ask them. It doesn't matter. You have to have the courage to do something. If you don't have the courage, you're not going to do anything, and you're going to end up sitting in your room being scared of what everyone else thinks of you. The main way to move on and forward your life is just have courage to do something.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
What it means to me is like, I think when most people think of going for no, it's like, Well, I guess when people are in sales, they go for all the yeses. So let's say you get 10 nos, but in those 10 nos, you got five yeses. So what it means to me is if you go for 20 nos, you'll get 10 yeses. That's what I take away.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
So when somebody goes for five yeses, after those five yeses, are you going to continue to push for more yeses? No, after those 10 nos, you're going to push for more nos because you get the yeses along the way.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I mean, it'd be pretty high. Any number?
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
I don't. I don't really know. It would depend on what my current situation is. Because if I love my work, then I don't know if I would want to stop. If I don't like my work but I got enough money, it would probably be in the higher millions if I don't have to worry about money. Yeah, lots of millions. Lots of millions. But I wouldn't really want to stop if I love what I'm doing.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah. There's a couple of my friends where they have certain traits where They just won't stop until you say yes. But most people that I know, they're afraid of the no, and they're afraid of what other people will think of them if they fail. So that's definitely a big part of our society, I guess.
The Home Service Expert Podcast
Special Family Q&A with Tommy Mello’s Niece and Nephews!
Yeah. Yeah.
The LOL Podcast
The Final Episode.
or for use that one my absence is not here that'd be so funny not the type of guy to say why could i actually see him saying that i would not say no i could actually see you being like accounted i can and then and then cash is like dude what did you just say and you're like why is that weird that's not weird why is that weird you don't want to know the cinema come on cash doesn't kind of say something weird he'd be like
The LOL Podcast
The Final Episode.
The one where they swing the ball. They had that in high school? No, the way where they're like...
The LOL Podcast
The Final Episode.
Why are you crying? He wants the podcast to stay. Why are you crying?
The LOL Podcast
The Final Episode.
I did the same thing. Where were we? On the other side of the store?
The LOL Podcast
The Final Episode.
Oh, it's April Fools. It's April Fools. It's April Fools. It's April Fools. That was funny, though. That was funny.