Negin Farsad
Appearances
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WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Also, they're like, it's a color I've never seen before. Like, how do they know?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
luke and that's that's what was most hurtful my parents gave it to me um so my husband had a friend group in college where every single person had a nickname as well and it's funny because to this day i don't know their real name so i just refer to these people like oh are you gonna call up baby hairs and see He's doing this weekend. What's your boy Jeans up to?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
They were also weird nicknames that didn't make sense out of context.
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WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Yes. This would give like a show like Sex and the City such a different look if they were sitting around having brunch and sniffing each other.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Wow. Wait, where is this pecker now? I think still there. So he's just out like ravaging the town.
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WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
I love that idea that he was so into pop culture because I feel like he had a really great sense of humor. And I feel like he was like, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I met J.D. Vance and then I died? Yeah.
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WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Wait, so you, and you can chew it like all the time? Or how does it?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Yeah, or you just do it like, or you do it like a vaccine. You just chew on it once a year. Oh, I think it's like pretty often.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Oh, the hair and makeup department at the State Department.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Nagin Farsad. Taking a page from The Daily Show and MSNBC, the papacy will have a rotating cast of popes changing every night of the week. And Luke Burbank.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
I also think, you know how you can like carry around like a little personal fan for when you're hot? I think personal smoke machine for when you just want to like share a bit of detail about your life.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
I won't do it again. So how many, like, icebergs melted because of this lover spat?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
So, okay, so I have a question which is, Like, do we have a quota as people for how nice we can be? And then if we are nice to AI all the time, are we then mean to our moms?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
Right, right. And if you're mean to your mom, how many icebergs does that melt?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
I love the idea of a four-star general showing up at the Pentagon and a PA being like, should I take you to hair and makeup?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
As a kid, the only thing Ronald D'Souza feared more than getting pantsed was escalators. He feared that if he didn't tie his shoes before getting on an escalator, it would eat his legs. To this day, as an adult manager of the Macy's in Palm Desert, California, Ronald takes a beat too long to step on, waiting for the right step, missing the right step, and then waiting again for the right step.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
One day, he was doing a VIP tour with vendors when the laces of his Oxfords came undone. He didn't notice and led the group to the escalator. That's when the escalator began to eat his shoe. He was reflexively pulled to his knees, and that's when his pant leg got sucked in, pulling his trousers down and showing off his tighty-whities. It was a double whammy childhood nightmare.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Brian Tyree Henry
He was rescued, but only after his clients and a steady stream of shoppers were treated to the rear end of a man perched like he was getting a public prostate exam. Co-workers cut him out of the pants, after which he scurried to the men's section looking business on top, party on the bottom. Nowadays, Ronald takes the elevator.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
So you, of course, released the smash hit Uptown Funk. So we're going to ask you about downtown funk or stinky city smells. And amazingly, in this quiz, we only use the word urine once. Now answer two out of three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Mark Bronson playing for?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
All right. Here's your first question. Most towns come to their funks naturally, but some create their own, including Lincoln, Nebraska, which in the winter smells like what? Is it A, nutmeg, which they mix in with their road salt? Is it B, new car smell from their factory that makes artificial new car smell kicking up production?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Or is it C, animal pee which they spray on their pine trees to keep people from stealing them for Christmas trees?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
And that is correct. The answer is animal pee.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
All right, here's your next question. Lots of cities have bad smells, but not every city has a song about how bad it smells. Which of these is a real recording? Is it A, the aroma of Tacoma, Is it B, my dear Eureka, how Eureka? Or is it C, Pueblo, Colorado, smells like a rotten egg made of dead skunks?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Some combination of a paper mill and oil refinery and Tacoma's natural stank made a smell so strong it was immortalized in song. Not going to lie. It's a bop.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
All right, so here is your last question. GQ magazine published a list of the best smelling cities in the world, including New Orleans, which they praised for what combination of scents? Was it A, incense and sweat? Was it B, old beer and frying fat? Or was it C, strawberry hurricanes and puked up strawberry hurricanes?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
I'm sorry. The answer is B, old beer and frying fat. Got New Orleans on the good smelling list. All right, Bill, how did Mark do on our quiz?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Mark Ronson is a Grammy and Oscar-winning producer, writer, and DJ who composed the score and produced the soundtrack for the Barbie movie. Mark Ronson, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
I was just like, I was expecting you to be like broccoli and then other forms of broccoli.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
They would fall off all the time. Were you playing this little piggy? And you were like, this little piggy goes and goes.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
She's like, it's a hallucination! Yay!
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Did you have an inkling then that it was going to be this worldwide phenomenon?
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
So I want to talk to you a little bit about being a DJ. We talked before the show, and as you know, I have, in fact, shaken my booty, as it were, at a club where you were DJing. And it was just an incredible night. It was so fun. But it made me think, you probably see a a lot of weird stuff on the dance floor.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Are you like basically embarrassed for everyone as you see them dancing to your music or?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Well, let's talk about Barbie, another worldwide phenomenon. I want to talk to you about scoring the movie, which you also did. Now that you've scored a movie, do you find yourself scoring dramatic moments in your own life? Or just like mundane, like you're just like chatting with the barista and then it's like, meh, meh, meh, meh.
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WWDTM: Billy Porter, Mark Ronson, Tara Dower, and more!
Is it true that the song, I Want to Know What Love Is, was written about your mom?
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WWDTM: GWAR
So he has enough money to buy a landfill? I mean, I've never bought one myself. No, he's going to pay... So just how much are these landfills running these days? Also...
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WWDTM: GWAR
Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid. That'll keep it away. They do everything. They do everything.
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WWDTM: GWAR
I know, just when you drive a country out of the... The asteroid hits it.
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WWDTM: GWAR
The pennies will be equally distributed among barista tip jars from coast to coast.
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WWDTM: GWAR
No, I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine, and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do.
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WWDTM: GWAR
I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium? No, thank you.
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WWDTM: GWAR
I mean, it kind of makes sense to just have an understudy, I guess.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
You know, like in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform. And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.
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WWDTM: GWAR
Alice Benton is a third-generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land, but he did get a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money, and that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer, getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard.
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WWDTM: GWAR
To impress her, he would buy concert tickets, Michelin-starred meals, a straight-up yacht in a landlocked town, but never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashitarium complete with lazy river and wave pool.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
Only thing is that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged. Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill. Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it, and that's my approximation of how she would have said that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes. So I have a six-year-old daughter. So your voice is like in my apartment all the time. And I, you're great.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
What kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts?
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car. Main part of the car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry terms. And so why is it not fastened?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Okay. But also, did anyone tell Ron that thing about how a chair is supposed to be on a thing called a chassis? Possibly. Maybe he didn't know the word.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
Big pockets. Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket, then that's not that much hair.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, you're treating it like he's at a bodega, like picking a country to be, to shop for.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
They'll have to pay for rat sightings, and the toll is a slice of pizza paid directly to each rat.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, my god. Peter, yeah. I mean, forget. I mean, I was on a subway the other day, and just like a wet thing just fell into my brow. And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers. I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Bone dry trains. Yeah. Just a dry train would be so delightful.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
But I mean, it's so clunky. If they had been doing this, instead of it being like, go ahead, make my day, it would be like, as you can see, I'm carrying a gun now.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
No, not as much. Not as much. I, Sam, am playing it again. Here in Casablanca.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, they... Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
That'll bring, like, a third category of actor. Like, you know, you have a face for radio, so you can have, like, a face for, like, movies, or you can have a face for Netflix. You know?
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
Yeah, no one's going to look at you. It doesn't really matter.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument. It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which from what I understand is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies. Which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.
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WWDTM: Josh Gad
These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then, one of the musicians, Kylie Cadwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist. Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat.
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear back brackets in favor of full industrial alloy chompers.
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands. Green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day, or Labor Day's famous chartreuse. influencers such as Abby Clancy and Charlie James and rappers like Lil Uzi, all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience, are showing off their be-meddled pie holes on social media.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade, and I definitely didn't want them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
They, like, yell at, like, mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out.
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
Also, at some point, does someone just give you an iPad? To just shut it down?
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
But I've never been to one. Have you guys been?
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home. Yes, absolutely.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
And my view is let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So it's like if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean? Right. There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves.
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
Yeah, and I feel like weather veins are going to have a real moment.
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WWDTM: Sterling K. Brown
I just lie and say that was a great show because I am a total coward. Really?