Nick Middaugh

Fast forward a few years, we're in a relationship. We'd been on and off constantly because I was just a piece of shit, and she would dump me. She dumped me several times up until we got solid. And I go from being on the fire department to now I'm working corrections and doing adult corrections at a minimum security.

Fast forward a few years, we're in a relationship. We'd been on and off constantly because I was just a piece of shit, and she would dump me. She dumped me several times up until we got solid. And I go from being on the fire department to now I'm working corrections and doing adult corrections at a minimum security.

and moved to Bay city, um, which is just town over from Saginaw in Michigan and same size, whatnot. Um, and she moves in with me and I'm still drinking and on the outside, dude, I'm like listening to, um, or rather like trying to be kind of like all these dudes that have podcasts now that like, I'm trying to emulate, right. So like Jocko, you know, like extreme ownership and like,

and moved to Bay city, um, which is just town over from Saginaw in Michigan and same size, whatnot. Um, and she moves in with me and I'm still drinking and on the outside, dude, I'm like listening to, um, or rather like trying to be kind of like all these dudes that have podcasts now that like, I'm trying to emulate, right. So like Jocko, you know, like extreme ownership and like,

and moved to Bay city, um, which is just town over from Saginaw in Michigan and same size, whatnot. Um, and she moves in with me and I'm still drinking and on the outside, dude, I'm like listening to, um, or rather like trying to be kind of like all these dudes that have podcasts now that like, I'm trying to emulate, right. So like Jocko, you know, like extreme ownership and like,

discipline and getting after it and trying to spin it where like hey i'm serving but like i'm not um i'm not letting this trauma like get the best of me or whatever and like trying to like this this really odd and confusing just hypocritical path did you know you were lying to yourself at the time

discipline and getting after it and trying to spin it where like hey i'm serving but like i'm not um i'm not letting this trauma like get the best of me or whatever and like trying to like this this really odd and confusing just hypocritical path did you know you were lying to yourself at the time

discipline and getting after it and trying to spin it where like hey i'm serving but like i'm not um i'm not letting this trauma like get the best of me or whatever and like trying to like this this really odd and confusing just hypocritical path did you know you were lying to yourself at the time

internally yeah because i'd go back and i'd drink i'd be a piece of shit to my wife um my girlfriend at the time um but on the outside i'm trying to like showcase this dude who's like strong and doing these things the alpha male if you will yeah the alpha male right yeah yeah uh Meanwhile, living as a Class C, like, car carrier, but... What does that mean?

internally yeah because i'd go back and i'd drink i'd be a piece of shit to my wife um my girlfriend at the time um but on the outside i'm trying to like showcase this dude who's like strong and doing these things the alpha male if you will yeah the alpha male right yeah yeah uh Meanwhile, living as a Class C, like, car carrier, but... What does that mean?

internally yeah because i'd go back and i'd drink i'd be a piece of shit to my wife um my girlfriend at the time um but on the outside i'm trying to like showcase this dude who's like strong and doing these things the alpha male if you will yeah the alpha male right yeah yeah uh Meanwhile, living as a Class C, like, car carrier, but... What does that mean?

Well, you got an alpha male, you got a beta, Charlie, you know, or C or whatever.

Well, you got an alpha male, you got a beta, Charlie, you know, or C or whatever.

Well, you got an alpha male, you got a beta, Charlie, you know, or C or whatever.

Okay. So, yeah. Turn 21, I go from adult corrections to juvenile corrections. And still just drinking. I fucked on, I mean, six, seven Milwaukee bests and four shots every night, put on all that weight. And it's like undermining my ability to do the job, work in juvie and completely shattering like my self image, which I always struggled with anyway. So now I'm fat. So now it's worse.

Okay. So, yeah. Turn 21, I go from adult corrections to juvenile corrections. And still just drinking. I fucked on, I mean, six, seven Milwaukee bests and four shots every night, put on all that weight. And it's like undermining my ability to do the job, work in juvie and completely shattering like my self image, which I always struggled with anyway. So now I'm fat. So now it's worse.

Okay. So, yeah. Turn 21, I go from adult corrections to juvenile corrections. And still just drinking. I fucked on, I mean, six, seven Milwaukee bests and four shots every night, put on all that weight. And it's like undermining my ability to do the job, work in juvie and completely shattering like my self image, which I always struggled with anyway. So now I'm fat. So now it's worse.

What am I going to do? Am I going to get better or am I just going to keep drinking to drown all those emotions? Um, the answer was drink more, you know, so I'm still drinking. And, uh, you know, I should mention, I had a moment where I went to a power, I went to a work party, um, and I'm hanging out with them and we're all drinking and having a good time.

What am I going to do? Am I going to get better or am I just going to keep drinking to drown all those emotions? Um, the answer was drink more, you know, so I'm still drinking. And, uh, you know, I should mention, I had a moment where I went to a power, I went to a work party, um, and I'm hanging out with them and we're all drinking and having a good time.

What am I going to do? Am I going to get better or am I just going to keep drinking to drown all those emotions? Um, the answer was drink more, you know, so I'm still drinking. And, uh, you know, I should mention, I had a moment where I went to a power, I went to a work party, um, and I'm hanging out with them and we're all drinking and having a good time.