Nick Willing

pleasure in understanding the layers of a picture just if you say oh this picture has a secret that in itself opens a door and then I think there is a certain fascination in understanding a person's psyche and their life it's a different thing your relationship with the picture won't be spoiled you can go and look at it and imagine all your own stories but there is another story to tell which is her story

And for me, that's fascinating because she's my mother.

You see, I want to know what the hell was going on when I wasn't around.

I was paying attention to her because I wanted to know what's happening in her life.

So I have this fascination for uncovering the secrets for my own understanding of what was going on.

I'll tell you an example that's important.

When I made that film, put it this way, I discovered while making the film the extent to which she suffered from depression throughout her life.

I knew that she'd clam up and go quiet and be distant and disappear.

But I didn't understand why.

I thought it was my fault.

Most of the time, that's what kids do.

They blame themselves, mostly.

But in making that film, I understood that it wasn't about that.

It was because she was suffering from an illness of depression.

That made me feel better about

my relationship with her, my own life.

It wasn't my fault, you see.

So I think sometimes understanding the secret helps.

It may only be a help to me, but I think that people who are interested in going deeper into what was going on in this artist's life might find it interesting too.

It's a story by Martin Madonna, you know, who made, in Bruges, he made The Pillow Man, the play.