Nir Eyal

But they deal with it by using it as rocket fuel to push them towards traction. Whereas distractible people, as soon as they feel that discomfort, they try and escape it with distraction. That's the big difference.

Yeah. So step one is- Understand it. Yeah. Is master those internal triggers. Yeah. Or they become your master. Yeah. That's step number one. There's a bunch of techniques. We're just covering the surface. There's over a dozen different techniques that you can use. Mm-hmm. to help you master those internal triggers. Now, the second step is to make time for traction.

Yeah. So step one is- Understand it. Yeah. Is master those internal triggers. Yeah. Or they become your master. Yeah. That's step number one. There's a bunch of techniques. We're just covering the surface. There's over a dozen different techniques that you can use. Mm-hmm. to help you master those internal triggers. Now, the second step is to make time for traction.

So when you have those doubts, one of these techniques that is really life-changing is scheduling time for worry. Scheduling time for worry. That what happens is in the moment, we feel these feelings, we think these thoughts, and a distractible person will say, well, I got to deal with that sensation right now. I have to work through whatever it is that I'm feeling right now.

So when you have those doubts, one of these techniques that is really life-changing is scheduling time for worry. Scheduling time for worry. That what happens is in the moment, we feel these feelings, we think these thoughts, and a distractible person will say, well, I got to deal with that sensation right now. I have to work through whatever it is that I'm feeling right now.

And they stop everything to do that. And that's not the right method. The right method is to write down that sensation and get back to the task at hand as quickly as possible using these four strategies. Then later on, right now that you've written down what that sensation is, you're going to make time in your calendar to think about that sensation.

And they stop everything to do that. And that's not the right method. The right method is to write down that sensation and get back to the task at hand as quickly as possible using these four strategies. Then later on, right now that you've written down what that sensation is, you're going to make time in your calendar to think about that sensation.

So step number one, you have these tools. Maybe I can digress for a second. I'll tell you my favorite tool for mastering internal triggers. It's called the 10-minute rule. This comes from acceptance and commitment therapy. And the 10-minute rule says that you can give in to any distraction Any distraction. Maybe it's smoking that cigarette if you're trying to quit.

So step number one, you have these tools. Maybe I can digress for a second. I'll tell you my favorite tool for mastering internal triggers. It's called the 10-minute rule. This comes from acceptance and commitment therapy. And the 10-minute rule says that you can give in to any distraction Any distraction. Maybe it's smoking that cigarette if you're trying to quit.

Maybe it's eating that piece of chocolate cake if you're on a diet. Maybe it's checking social media. Whatever it is. Whatever distraction. You can give in to that distraction, but not right now. You can give in in 10 minutes. Don't misunderstand. Not for 10 minutes. Sometimes people get it wrong. It's in 10 minutes. Okay? So what does that do?

Maybe it's eating that piece of chocolate cake if you're on a diet. Maybe it's checking social media. Whatever it is. Whatever distraction. You can give in to that distraction, but not right now. You can give in in 10 minutes. Don't misunderstand. Not for 10 minutes. Sometimes people get it wrong. It's in 10 minutes. Okay? So what does that do?

What that does is we talked about psychological reactance earlier, and you asked what do you do about psychological reactance. You're allowing yourself to acknowledge that you are in control, that you decide. What many people do is they have strict abstinence, right? Strict abstinence says, no, I will not do it, right? I won't eat sugar. I won't get distracted. I will do this. I will do that.

What that does is we talked about psychological reactance earlier, and you asked what do you do about psychological reactance. You're allowing yourself to acknowledge that you are in control, that you decide. What many people do is they have strict abstinence, right? Strict abstinence says, no, I will not do it, right? I won't eat sugar. I won't get distracted. I will do this. I will do that.

As opposed to saying, hey, I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want. I choose not to go off track for the next 10 minutes. That's it. In 10 minutes, I can give into whatever I want. So now I'm in control. You know, the whole just say no technique turns out makes you ruminate and think about and have more discomfort around the thing you want, increasing these internal triggers.

As opposed to saying, hey, I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want. I choose not to go off track for the next 10 minutes. That's it. In 10 minutes, I can give into whatever I want. So now I'm in control. You know, the whole just say no technique turns out makes you ruminate and think about and have more discomfort around the thing you want, increasing these internal triggers.

And that actually is what makes you give into that distraction. We know that with smoking, actually, it's very interesting. We're finding that nicotine is less and less part of the reason people get addicted to cigarettes. It's more about the rumination around... I want to smoke, but I can't. I want to smoke, but I shouldn't. I want to smoke. I want to smoke. I want to smoke. Fine.

And that actually is what makes you give into that distraction. We know that with smoking, actually, it's very interesting. We're finding that nicotine is less and less part of the reason people get addicted to cigarettes. It's more about the rumination around... I want to smoke, but I can't. I want to smoke, but I shouldn't. I want to smoke. I want to smoke. I want to smoke. Fine.

I'll finally smoke. Now I get relief. How do we know this? If you ask smokers, why do they smoke? The number one reason, it's relaxing. That makes no sense. Nicotine is a stimulant. Makes no sense, right? Why would it be relaxing? It's relaxing because finally I can stop telling myself I don't have to do it anymore. I don't have to fight with myself anymore.

I'll finally smoke. Now I get relief. How do we know this? If you ask smokers, why do they smoke? The number one reason, it's relaxing. That makes no sense. Nicotine is a stimulant. Makes no sense, right? Why would it be relaxing? It's relaxing because finally I can stop telling myself I don't have to do it anymore. I don't have to fight with myself anymore.

And that eases that psychological reactance. Ha, I can finally give in. So when you use this 10-minute rule and say, okay, I can give into that distraction in 10 minutes from now, what you're doing is you're establishing agency. Right now you're in control and we can do anything for 10 minutes. And if 10 minutes feels like too long, try the five minute rule.