Norm MacDonald

Well, let me call you back and we'll start this over.

Well, let me call you back and we'll start this over.

Yeah, I'm saying I walk into any book in Vegas. I don't deal with bookies because that's against the law, but I walk into any book in Vegas and I freeze that room.

Yeah, I'm saying I walk into any book in Vegas. I don't deal with bookies because that's against the law, but I walk into any book in Vegas and I freeze that room.

Oh, not books. No, I have a winning record against books. One of the few people. But unfortunately, the book is a long way from the elevator.

Oh, not books. No, I have a winning record against books. One of the few people. But unfortunately, the book is a long way from the elevator.

You're asking me which has the strongest magnetic field? Yes, yes, yes. That would be the craps table. Oh, man.

You're asking me which has the strongest magnetic field? Yes, yes, yes. That would be the craps table. Oh, man.

Well, I'll tell you, well... The problem is crafts is a little arcane for a lot of listeners. So let me tell you about Blackjack, which I think everyone understands. One time I had a massive bet down. It was my last bet. I just said, I'll just bet all this. And then I got two aces. Oh, no. And then I was like...

Well, I'll tell you, well... The problem is crafts is a little arcane for a lot of listeners. So let me tell you about Blackjack, which I think everyone understands. One time I had a massive bet down. It was my last bet. I just said, I'll just bet all this. And then I got two aces. Oh, no. And then I was like...

Can I go, you know, I don't know if I have enough money to, I don't know if I have enough money, but can I get some credit, like, from the casino to bid on this other ace? And they're like, no. And I'm like, does anyone else want to buy an ace? No, but. Everyone else there was betting small.

Can I go, you know, I don't know if I have enough money to, I don't know if I have enough money, but can I get some credit, like, from the casino to bid on this other ace? And they're like, no. And I'm like, does anyone else want to buy an ace? No, but. Everyone else there was betting small.

No, I don't like that. I don't like the, what the hell? I'm watching the draft. What? What? I was just watching the draft. So, anyways, my two aces, I go, hit me. You know, I have two. You know what I mean? So, I have to hit. You know, the book says you always hit a two. So, I have an ace and an ace. It's a two. So, I hit it. Oh, no.

No, I don't like that. I don't like the, what the hell? I'm watching the draft. What? What? I was just watching the draft. So, anyways, my two aces, I go, hit me. You know, I have two. You know what I mean? So, I have to hit. You know, the book says you always hit a two. So, I have an ace and an ace. It's a two. So, I hit it. Oh, no.

Oh. So obviously I would have had 221. He said, I have 122. So then I just walk away. And I'll tell you how you know you've lost and it's all over. When you walk away, you walk away from the table and you just hear the guy go, better luck next time, Phil. Okay.

Oh. So obviously I would have had 221. He said, I have 122. So then I just walk away. And I'll tell you how you know you've lost and it's all over. When you walk away, you walk away from the table and you just hear the guy go, better luck next time, Phil. Okay.

We'll get to plenty of bad deep stories as I continue my –

We'll get to plenty of bad deep stories as I continue my –

Oh, my God. Yeah. I'll tell you about the one-run grand slam I had to endure. But that's for another day. Okay.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I'll tell you about the one-run grand slam I had to endure. But that's for another day. Okay.