Ocean Vuong

And this guy was known to just grab your bike, and he would never, like, give it back to you. It was just very, you know... And there's nothing you could do about it.

Yeah, yeah. But he kind of knew, like he just didn't, the idea wasn't to steal. It was kind of like power.

Yeah, yeah. But he kind of knew, like he just didn't, the idea wasn't to steal. It was kind of like power.

And whenever he needed it, he'll just grab a kid's bike. And you were under the mercy of him. So it was a chronic thing. Yeah. But I just snapped that day, you know, like I just saw him and I was so angry because I knew, I knew, I knew I'm like, I'm not going to get this back. I'm going to lose my thousand dollars. And for context, like when I ended up doing my mom's taxes, she made $13,000.

And whenever he needed it, he'll just grab a kid's bike. And you were under the mercy of him. So it was a chronic thing. Yeah. But I just snapped that day, you know, like I just saw him and I was so angry because I knew, I knew, I knew I'm like, I'm not going to get this back. I'm going to lose my thousand dollars. And for context, like when I ended up doing my mom's taxes, she made $13,000.

And what I did was he was riding around, there's people, you know, and I go out and I said, just give me back my bike, you know. And essentially, he just said, F off. And I knew that, that's the vibe. But I just, I think that day I lost it, you know. I was on drugs at the time, you know. I had my first cigarette when I was 14.

And what I did was he was riding around, there's people, you know, and I go out and I said, just give me back my bike, you know. And essentially, he just said, F off. And I knew that, that's the vibe. But I just, I think that day I lost it, you know. I was on drugs at the time, you know. I had my first cigarette when I was 14.

Two weeks later, I'm doing lines of coke in the high school dugout in the baseball. But I was sober that day, right? Yeah. And it got worse in the farm because the migrant workers were using it too. You take a bump to do the work. To get through the day. To get through the day. And they loved that I did it because I was a kid and they kind of took me under. It was kind of really toxic, you know.

Two weeks later, I'm doing lines of coke in the high school dugout in the baseball. But I was sober that day, right? Yeah. And it got worse in the farm because the migrant workers were using it too. You take a bump to do the work. To get through the day. To get through the day. And they loved that I did it because I was a kid and they kind of took me under. It was kind of really toxic, you know.

But that day it was clear. And I went across the street diagonal to my friend Big Joe's house. I knocked on his window. I remember putting both of my hands on the windowsill. And I have no shirt on. I'm just sweating. I'm so angry. And I just told him, I said, please let me borrow your gun.

But that day it was clear. And I went across the street diagonal to my friend Big Joe's house. I knocked on his window. I remember putting both of my hands on the windowsill. And I have no shirt on. I'm just sweating. I'm so angry. And I just told him, I said, please let me borrow your gun.

Okay. I think what I'm trying to get at is that I didn't become an author just to, like, my goal was not to, like, have a photo in the back of a book. and be like an author, writing became a medium for me to try to understand what goodness is. Because when I was begging my friend, I said, please give me your gut. And I know that gun because we used it. We would shoot it.

Okay. I think what I'm trying to get at is that I didn't become an author just to, like, my goal was not to, like, have a photo in the back of a book. and be like an author, writing became a medium for me to try to understand what goodness is. Because when I was begging my friend, I said, please give me your gut. And I know that gun because we used it. We would shoot it.

He would take me to the woods, and we would just shoot. And I'm like, please, just get out real quick. And I had it in my head. I imagined it in my head. And he says, I'm not going to do that. He said, I'm not going to do that. You need to go home. And I think what was really... So touching to me is that I was not responsible for that. Someone else's better sense saved me.

He would take me to the woods, and we would just shoot. And I'm like, please, just get out real quick. And I had it in my head. I imagined it in my head. And he says, I'm not going to do that. He said, I'm not going to do that. You need to go home. And I think what was really... So touching to me is that I was not responsible for that. Someone else's better sense saved me.

And in Buddhism, we have this idea called satori. And Satori is kind of enlightenment, but it's enlightenment in life. These kind of brief moments of illumination. And you've probably experienced it like, you know, I'm laying in bed at night. I can't sleep. And then all of a sudden you realize, oh, I need to be a better partner. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to be a better brother.

And in Buddhism, we have this idea called satori. And Satori is kind of enlightenment, but it's enlightenment in life. These kind of brief moments of illumination. And you've probably experienced it like, you know, I'm laying in bed at night. I can't sleep. And then all of a sudden you realize, oh, I need to be a better partner. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to be a better brother.

I got to be more patient. I got to stop being petty. Like these moments, right? And then you wake up and then life happens. You get a bad work email. Someone's being annoying. And then you lose sight of all that. So satori is like a brief window. And the idea for Buddhists is to then... allow the understanding in that brief window to then alter your life.

I got to be more patient. I got to stop being petty. Like these moments, right? And then you wake up and then life happens. You get a bad work email. Someone's being annoying. And then you lose sight of all that. So satori is like a brief window. And the idea for Buddhists is to then... allow the understanding in that brief window to then alter your life.

And monks, some monks widen that window probably for the rest of their life. That window is their life's width. For me, I get little brief moments. And I think I was spared that horrible outcome because of Big Joe Satori. And any other day he would have done it, right? But he saw that it's not going to be good. And it was his wisdom.