Ocean Vuong

I don't know yet. This is the first book I wrote from start to finish without her being alive. And I told myself, like any young writer, that I was this avant-garde, counter-formalist. I saw myself on this kind of high horse. And I thought, I'll write whatever I want. And I was very proud of that.

But I realized after my mother passed that I was actually just trying to do well in the world so that I could take care of my mom. Like everything was kind of a strategic, right? It's like, oh, I got to get this job. I got to be a professor. I got to get tenure now. I got to do service work. And I just secure my family because, you know, I have one salary. It's a good one.

But I realized after my mother passed that I was actually just trying to do well in the world so that I could take care of my mom. Like everything was kind of a strategic, right? It's like, oh, I got to get this job. I got to be a professor. I got to get tenure now. I got to do service work. And I just secure my family because, you know, I have one salary. It's a good one.

But even now, there's nine Vietnamese refugees who I take care of. It's a blessing. I don't see it as a burden.

But even now, there's nine Vietnamese refugees who I take care of. It's a blessing. I don't see it as a burden.

I support financially, yeah. But I was always strategic. And when my mom died, I was like, that was it. Everything was for her. I have a job. You know, I have a living. And ultimately, I got to ask a question I didn't want to ask yet, but I had to, which was that what would I write for myself? And this is the toughest book I wrote. And not like formally, but just existentially.

I support financially, yeah. But I was always strategic. And when my mom died, I was like, that was it. Everything was for her. I have a job. You know, I have a living. And ultimately, I got to ask a question I didn't want to ask yet, but I had to, which was that what would I write for myself? And this is the toughest book I wrote. And not like formally, but just existentially.

It's like, okay, now what? Just write a book to say some things? And I felt that for a long time. And I told my agent, I said, I'm sorry I had a time. I think this is my slump book. A new one. Yeah, I felt that way. And I still feel that way. I don't know. The culture will decide. But I just felt like... What did you feel like you weren't accomplishing?

It's like, okay, now what? Just write a book to say some things? And I felt that for a long time. And I told my agent, I said, I'm sorry I had a time. I think this is my slump book. A new one. Yeah, I felt that way. And I still feel that way. I don't know. The culture will decide. But I just felt like... What did you feel like you weren't accomplishing?

It wasn't clear to me why anyone should read it. And I think that's part of the question of, oh, if I wrote for myself, then I'm like, oh, I don't think anyone should read it if I wrote for myself. Whereas if I wrote to support my family, it was very clear, right? It was like, here's a book from a son to a mother who can't read. That's wham, you know?

It wasn't clear to me why anyone should read it. And I think that's part of the question of, oh, if I wrote for myself, then I'm like, oh, I don't think anyone should read it if I wrote for myself. Whereas if I wrote to support my family, it was very clear, right? It was like, here's a book from a son to a mother who can't read. That's wham, you know?

Let's go, take off, right? Writing for yourself seemed selfish or hollow? It felt just very neutral. Yeah. You know, it just felt very limp where I'm like, oh yeah, I'm excited. It's a creative work. But when I lost that myth, and it is a myth, right? I made that myth up. I made the myth of like, I need to go.

Let's go, take off, right? Writing for yourself seemed selfish or hollow? It felt just very neutral. Yeah. You know, it just felt very limp where I'm like, oh yeah, I'm excited. It's a creative work. But when I lost that myth, and it is a myth, right? I made that myth up. I made the myth of like, I need to go.

It's that quintessential oldest immigrant son myth, except that other people said, I'm going to be a doctor, a lawyer. But I said, I'm going to be a writer, the best writer I can be to take care of my family. And I was like, even as I tried to betray that Asian stereotype of like the immigrant making good, and I thought I would be like this radical writer, I end up doing it.

It's that quintessential oldest immigrant son myth, except that other people said, I'm going to be a doctor, a lawyer. But I said, I'm going to be a writer, the best writer I can be to take care of my family. And I was like, even as I tried to betray that Asian stereotype of like the immigrant making good, and I thought I would be like this radical writer, I end up doing it.

It was the same thing. It's the same goal. And so when I finally got to do what I thought I was doing this whole time, which is like writing on my own terms, it felt really empty to me. But I don't fetishize an identity of writer. To me, this, what we're doing, is the same work. My teaching is the same work. When I give a talk at a university in front of people, it's the same thing.

It was the same thing. It's the same goal. And so when I finally got to do what I thought I was doing this whole time, which is like writing on my own terms, it felt really empty to me. But I don't fetishize an identity of writer. To me, this, what we're doing, is the same work. My teaching is the same work. When I give a talk at a university in front of people, it's the same thing.

How do you characterize that work? A kind of sincerity of figuring this out. I think that's it. In the Buddhist sutra, it says, engage the phenomena of the world with earnestness. And I've always valued that. I just didn't know that our culture often values cynicism as a form of intelligence. And earnestness is kind of frowned upon because it almost means that you've been duped.

How do you characterize that work? A kind of sincerity of figuring this out. I think that's it. In the Buddhist sutra, it says, engage the phenomena of the world with earnestness. And I've always valued that. I just didn't know that our culture often values cynicism as a form of intelligence. And earnestness is kind of frowned upon because it almost means that you've been duped.

It's like, oh, you believe in this too much? You clearly haven't thought deeply about it.