Olga Khazan

Yeah, I know. I know.

um at what age do you think we really feel like stuck in who we are yeah so i would say there's not an age at which we we start to stick in who we are so that used to be the thinking um this like influential psychologist named william james um had this infamous sort of quote that like uh the character is set like plaster by the age of 30

um at what age do you think we really feel like stuck in who we are yeah so i would say there's not an age at which we we start to stick in who we are so that used to be the thinking um this like influential psychologist named william james um had this infamous sort of quote that like uh the character is set like plaster by the age of 30

um at what age do you think we really feel like stuck in who we are yeah so i would say there's not an age at which we we start to stick in who we are so that used to be the thinking um this like influential psychologist named william james um had this infamous sort of quote that like uh the character is set like plaster by the age of 30

um and uh which is relevant for your podcast for people in their 20s um so i mean even he said like in your 20s you can still change but um but uh kind of more recent research has found that that's not really true that people kind of continue to change throughout their lives even naturally even if you don't really do anything to try to change your personality is gonna

um and uh which is relevant for your podcast for people in their 20s um so i mean even he said like in your 20s you can still change but um but uh kind of more recent research has found that that's not really true that people kind of continue to change throughout their lives even naturally even if you don't really do anything to try to change your personality is gonna

um and uh which is relevant for your podcast for people in their 20s um so i mean even he said like in your 20s you can still change but um but uh kind of more recent research has found that that's not really true that people kind of continue to change throughout their lives even naturally even if you don't really do anything to try to change your personality is gonna

kind of shift from decade to decade.

kind of shift from decade to decade.

kind of shift from decade to decade.

You're going to be a different person, you know, when you have kids and like a job than you were in college, than you were in high school, you know, and that is like freeing and it's kind of scary, but it's also kind of nice that like, you're not going to be like, if you're not crazy about something, you know, about yourself or about your life, you're not stuck with it forever.

You're going to be a different person, you know, when you have kids and like a job than you were in college, than you were in high school, you know, and that is like freeing and it's kind of scary, but it's also kind of nice that like, you're not going to be like, if you're not crazy about something, you know, about yourself or about your life, you're not stuck with it forever.

You're going to be a different person, you know, when you have kids and like a job than you were in college, than you were in high school, you know, and that is like freeing and it's kind of scary, but it's also kind of nice that like, you're not going to be like, if you're not crazy about something, you know, about yourself or about your life, you're not stuck with it forever.

Yeah. So there's two kind of branches of evidence to the contrary. So first, your frontal lobe being fully formed doesn't really mean anything about your personality because we don't have like a lobe in our brain that is where the personality lives. So like even if they study like brain changes or, you know, like those like fMRI studies where it's like brains lighting up

Yeah. So there's two kind of branches of evidence to the contrary. So first, your frontal lobe being fully formed doesn't really mean anything about your personality because we don't have like a lobe in our brain that is where the personality lives. So like even if they study like brain changes or, you know, like those like fMRI studies where it's like brains lighting up

Yeah. So there's two kind of branches of evidence to the contrary. So first, your frontal lobe being fully formed doesn't really mean anything about your personality because we don't have like a lobe in our brain that is where the personality lives. So like even if they study like brain changes or, you know, like those like fMRI studies where it's like brains lighting up

Those don't necessarily correlate perfectly with personality necessarily. So there's kind of two elements to this. The first is that when researchers have followed people, you know, and given them personality tests over and over across the years, they do find that people change. You know, they tend to change in certain ways. ways over time.

Those don't necessarily correlate perfectly with personality necessarily. So there's kind of two elements to this. The first is that when researchers have followed people, you know, and given them personality tests over and over across the years, they do find that people change. You know, they tend to change in certain ways. ways over time.

Those don't necessarily correlate perfectly with personality necessarily. So there's kind of two elements to this. The first is that when researchers have followed people, you know, and given them personality tests over and over across the years, they do find that people change. You know, they tend to change in certain ways. ways over time.

So like you mentioned that people become kind of mentally healthier in old age. Neuroticism does go down naturally across your life. So if you feel like you're very anxious and depressed, usually in older age, people become less so. So that sort of just naturally happens. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to like take any Lexapro. That naturally happens for most people.