Owen Gregorian

So toxic people in your life.

That's good.

It was in Psychology Today.

Leanne Ten Brink was talking about this.

And I suppose it adds something in the sense of what if you can't just cut someone out of your life?

I do think that's probably the best solution in almost all cases.

And I try to do that myself.

um i probably have more flexibility than some people though because like i work for this big consulting firm and i've worked for big consulting firms most of my career and that's where you kind of float around between teams you don't have to stay with the same people all the time so you can have different bosses and different co-workers every time and every project and so i i definitely have had a policy of if someone's toxic i'm just not going to work with them again and i'll make sure that that happens and you know but if you're the low person on the totem pole you might be not be able to do that

Um, if you're in a different type of job where you have a toxic boss, you know, you might just be stuck for a while, at least until you get another job.

But, um, what the, the three pieces of advice that, that this person offers is number one, to set clear boundaries that they mentioned people who are normal.

might not need clear boundaries because they kind of know not to violate, you know, your boundaries, but someone with these toxic traits might not, might need more clear and explicit boundaries.

And it's basically advising you to kind of train the person, like say, these are my boundaries.

You can't do this and then enforce it.

And if you can set those boundaries and enforce them, you might have a little bit better time dealing with that person.

As long as they explicitly know, you know, this is a, this is a violation and they, you call them out on it every time.

I think that's probably consistent somewhat with what a lot of companies do with sexual harassment and things like that, where if someone's telling an offensive joke or whatever it might be, if you just say, that's inappropriate, that offended me, please stop doing that, then oftentimes that can make that person change, where they might not think they did anything wrong, but

Um, if they know that they're offending you and if they know that it's going to be called out every time, then they're much less likely to do it.

Um, the second thing is to try to empathize with them and, you know, he's referring to like dark personality traits, which might sound weird, but I think it's just trying to see things from their perspective.

Um, so like if you try to appeal someone on fairness or kindness or something that might work with most people, uh, it might not work with a narcissist, for example.

And, but if you can.