Pablo Escobar

Mierda, vino temprano.

Maria, me angel.

I have no idea what you are going to say.

What has gotten you so upset, mi amor?

This is salacious gossip mongering.

Then... Okay, fine. It was me. I did it. But, querida, I need to see my animals. Next to you, they are my everything.

What about them?

Maria... My hippos, my rhino, they're out there in the wild, cold and alone. They need me. I swear, if anything were to happen to them... Pablo, Pablo.

Where am I? Where's Marcus and Sam? So many questions. I know, I know. Am I going to kill you? How am I going to kill you? Will I eat your remains myself or force feed them to your loved ones while you watch? Oh, dear God. Where are my matters? We have not been formally introduced.

It's me, the face of death, Pablo Escobar. Oh, you're supposed to be dead. I'm back. Oh, God. And don't think I don't know who you are, Charlie Bleaker. El Contador. Oh, no, no, no. That's not me. Come on. Don't be so modest. I have all your books. Much of the man I am today is because of your sage advice. Invest in yourself. First, last, and always. Truly profound.

You are in a lot of trouble, Charlie. You killed my rhinoceros. One of only three white rhinos left in the entire world.

Years have been spent trying to save the species from the brink of extinction. Mercidous poachers, killing them for their horns. I swear, Mr. Escobar, it was in self-defense. I had no choice. Hey, come on, Charlie. My father is Mr. Escobar. Call me Don Pablo.

A rhinoceros is such a noble creature, wouldn't you agree?

Absolutely. But so much more. It is a symbol of power and respect. Like the rhino men such as ourselves are a dying breed. Or, you know, maybe a living one. really i should thank you that's his belly being in hiding for so long has made me soft kinder even so does this mean you're not going to kill me oh no i'm definitely killing you

Marcus! Sam! Charlie, we thought you were dead! Listo? Let us call quorum to our little meeting and get down to business.

That is, after all, why you came to my country, correct, Marcus? To do business.

You did not think he came just to invest in a resort, did you? No. Marcus would like to pursue a career in the lucrative field of money laundering.

In reality, you never had a choice. No matter.

Taken care of. As for you three, I will need to get creative since you cannot all fit inside a conventional oven at the same time.

Oh, I have your word. And if you don't?

I was going to kill you anyway. What else you got?

Back to Charlie. Sorry, where were we? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Your inevitably gruesome death.

What the fuck are you doing? Fuck it, okay. You have two days to replace my rhino. If you succeed, I will consider letting you live. Oh, and in case you had any thoughts of trying to escape the country.

Two days, Charlie Bleeker. Happy hunting. Wait, how do I find you? You don't find El Diablo, Charlie. El Diablo finds you.

Some idiots went and shot themselves. Time will tell.