Patrick Christopher

Austin, what is up? How you doing? Hell yeah, man. I've been married for 12 years, so I'm ready to start dating again. I want to know what love is, you know? No, my wife's my best friend. There's nothing sad about that. But she makes jokes, too. She has jokes of her own, too. You know, like, anytime she's feeling her age, feeling old, she's like, oh, just trade me in already, you know?

Just trade me in for a newer model. Like, she's a car, right? Right? And I love my wife, I would never trade her in. I do want to get a rental though. You know, something fun, something new to me. Maybe something yellow. A lot of people don't get that joke, man. I had one lady yell out, what about a blue one? He's like, how do you know I like choking bitches?

Yeah dude, I get a lot of gigs that way. Sometimes I think they're getting a black guy. I was like, well, I say it. All right.

Seven years. Where at? San Antonio. Okay. Yeah, actually, do y'all remember? I did Kill Tony like seven years ago.

We had a moment.

Patrick, what do you do for work? I work for a medical clinic. I do insurance, yeah. That's a lie. No, no, no, that's very true. It's very sad. Because I was doing comedy full-time, and then I had to get a real job, so... That's okay.

Yeah.

Yes, Latina, yes. What does she do? She's a server.

I got her fixed after we got married. Oh, okay.

No, I got her fixed. Oh, my goodness gracious. Look at that. What? She had cancer. We had to deal with it. Really? Don't fucking back up now, bitch. No. 12 years in remission. Zero kids.

It's been 12 years.

When I'm not doing comedy, I play drums. No fucking way. No way.

How do you feel right now, Patrick? Out of breath, dude. I'm fucking out of shape, dude. I said I play drums. I don't play drums currently. It's fucking...