Patrick Foster

They started to question why.

Is it gambling?

Always talk my way out of it.

No, it's not gambling.

it's historic debt from London and all this kind of stuff.

People started to notice that I was sort of putting on weight.

I wasn't exercising as much.

But basically the way I projected myself was so different to what was going on internally.

I'd show up every day.

I'd put on this mask.

I'd pretend I was completely the opposite to actually who I and what I was.

And I just became so good at it.

And part of it was because I was protecting the addiction.

I didn't want to stop gambling.

I wasn't ready to stop gambling.

Yeah, I mean, I think the thing that addicts fear most is judgment.

And I was always... I couldn't bear the thought of my parents, although they're incredibly supportive and they're amazing people, I couldn't bear the thought of my parents being angry with me, disappointed in me, knowing that I've made mistakes.

I sort of grew up with...

this sort of perfect son type tag because I was good at everything.

I never got in much trouble, didn't do much wrong.