Paul C. Brunson

But like shots.

So then I could excuse it.

You know, it's done in a mixer.

I take trebles.

Yes.

What's the point in having a double when you can have a treble?

And so I could disregard the amount of vodka I was drinking.

at that point because it was always mixed but I think that that that week definitely after I started to try to get better and I couldn't I was craving alcohol and the strongest thing I could think of was was vodka and I bought a cheap flask of vodka and I downed it and it hit the spot

You know, cocaine was around, but it wasn't every day.

It was there sociably if I wanted it.

I knew where to get it if I needed it.

But that vodka in that moment became that next two-year relationship with the vodka bar.

Oh, wow.

Because I got that hit that I had been looking for.

And I was chasing that hit that I had that day.

Every time I tried to stop, I couldn't.

And every time I tried to stop, I was sick.

I felt better when I drank alcohol.

Like the absences of not drinking, whether it be an hour or a couple of hours, because it was never a day, I would feel physically sick.

And when I drank, it steadied me and I felt better.