Paul Eastwick

But with that additional spread, what that means is you have more opportunities to

for people to feel like, yeah, I understand not everybody's into him or not everybody's into her, but I really think there's something special about her.

That in many cases, people are tempted to draw up these lists of deal breakers, things they really can't do without in a partner or partner.

I guess I would put it things they really think they can't do without in a partner.

And you spend a lot of time filtering on the apps for folks with those features.

But, you know, throughout the research that we've done, the extent to which this is ultimately mattering in terms of shaping your pool into people that you're especially likely to click with.

It's just not that great.

The analogy here that I like to use is that, you know, you feel like you're ordering specifically for you off the menu when you're using the filters on the apps.

But if I secretly had somebody else come in and use their filters instead, and those were the guys you ended up meeting, like somebody else was ordering off the menu for you, honestly, you'd be just as happy.

It really wouldn't make much of a difference.

And that's why we recommend, like,

Don't spend so much time bothering with the filtering folks on the apps.

And in fact, if anything, you know, there's something to be said for broadening the aperture for who you're meeting, because sometimes people will surprise you if you give them a chance.

Yeah.

I mean, to quote Jeff Goldblum again from the very same movie, you know, the that that chaos.

Right.

Is all about things that never tiny variations that never repeat.

and end up creating these fundamentally unpredictable pathways.

And this is absolutely explains what it's like when people get to know each other.

It can be deeply unpredictable who you end up clicking with once you start to meet them in person and once you start talking with them.