Paul Eastwick

Deliver the perfect pickup line in order to reel somebody in.

Or just be exceptionally attractive and exceptionally good-looking and let them come to you, I suppose.

But what this misses is that a key part of the way that we evolved as humans was in these small social groups.

If we imagine...

living life on the savannah 150,000 years ago or 500,000 years ago, you likely lived in a group of maybe 50 people, give or take.

It could be 70, but it's not that big.

And there might be a few other groups nearby that are about the same size, and you probably know these folks.

But now let's just do the math on how many people are roughly your age, how many people are of the gender you prefer, and how many people are not partnered already.

It's a pretty small number, but at least what you have going for you is that you're going to get to know these people over time.

That's the context that shaped the way we think about ourselves and the way we think about romantic partners, this deluge of strangers.

that we get today.

Like we've been primed and told, oh, this is the evolved way, attract strangers.

No, it wasn't.

This is a weird modern skill that few people have.

So I worry about this.

That's the game.

Yeah.

I do have a thought experiment like this in the book where I talk about it's important to meet people through networks.

But sometimes, like, it feels like your networks have dried up and there's no options and you've got to hit the road.

I love the studies.