Paula (Cow Mouth)

Well, I run a food bank, a bus company, happy clubs for people with dementia.

I mean, I've got to get my place in fucking heaven somehow, haven't I?

You know, because I'm a really bad person otherwise.

I am actually going to order a Chatterbix sign to go on the side of it to cover up the name of the bus so that it just says Chatterbix bus or a chatter bus a chatter bus oh it's got to have a horn on the front would you like me to drive it to David to Joe in Brighton obviously just park outside his house and honk the horn of course yeah yeah with old people on it

Cut this bit out.

I'll put the sign on the bus.

I'll fill it with the dirtiest old people that I've got.

Because I tell you what, these old people, they love talking about their sex lives.

And when they're like 94 and wrinkly and horrible, you go...

they love talking about sex i had two of them uh down the happy club who said they found out they shared a birthday right and they went i used to love my birthday and they weren't like together and the other one went why and they found out they had the same birthday and they went oh i loved my birthday because it was the only time my wife used to give me a blow job

And he's like in his 90s.

And the other woman went, yeah, me and my husband would always have sex on my birthday.

And she's in her 80s.

Next thing I know, they're organizing taxis to go to each other's house for a bang.

You know.

For a what?

For a birthday bang.

For a birthday bang.

no a birthday bang well I mean the others might have joined in I don't know but that was just you know too like and these two old dears were going you get a taxi to my house on your birthday which was the same birthday and we'll have a birthday bang because since their husband and wives have died they haven't had sex well you forget don't you just because you're in your 80s or 90s you've still got those urges have you have you

Well, I don't know.