Peter D. Kaufman

Take that list of things that we are searching for.

Person who is trustworthy, principled, courageous, competent, loyal, kind, understanding, forgiving, and unselfish.

Take that list and in every single one of your future interactions with others, be that list.

Hang that invisible sign that says, make me feel important around everyone you meet as a reminder and go all in first with somebody and they will go all in with you too.

Not because you manipulated them into it, because you became what they're searching for their whole lives.

As Peter put it, most people spend all day long trying to get other people to like them.

They do it wrong.

You do this list, you won't be able to keep the people away.

Everyone's going to want to attach to you.

The next big idea Peter talks about is the biggest blind spot in business.

People who are proud of their win-lose relationships.

We see this everywhere where executives sort of brag about crushing suppliers or locking employees into unfavorable contracts.

Peter frames this through game theory.

You take game theory and you insert the word lose in any scenario in game theory.

And what do you have?

A suboptimal outcome.

What happens when you insert win-win in game theory scenario?

What do you get?

You get the optimal outcome every time.

Achieving win-win requires understanding what Peter calls the basic axiom of clinical psychology.