Peyton

How are you guys?

Thank you. That's the biggest compliment. I'd like to think I'm a fun person.

Well, if you don't laugh, you'll cry. It's a good attitude.

I'm in Charlottesville, Virginia.

How do you like it there? I like it. I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and this is a small town feel. We're just here because my husband's going to grad school. So it's just a short two years.

Oh, yeah. Very historic, but yeah.

It's palpable, especially because I work in an elementary school now as a nurse and it's crazy. They have to do a whole bunch of rezoning for the school districts because it was historically racist zoning. So now they're like trying to go back and redo it all. Wow.

I would say the humility aspect didn't hit me.

I love talking about Minnesota. I think it's the best.

Yeah.

This is back in 2021 in Minneapolis. I'm a new baby nurse and I'm working in the emergency department. I came in and I had an empty room and I was the next to get a patient, lucky me, which is always scary. So I go to the room, I meet the patient. Immediately upon entering the room, I am struck with the worst smell in the world.

I have a mask on, which I don't think is really doing much, but maybe a little.

We have a little like essential oil sticks.

I'm assessing this patient. I'm like, where is this coming from? I don't see anything right away, but she's like the cutest little five foot little grandma.

For sure. But she's old.

In her 70s, she has a scarf wrapped around her head. And I am like, what's your emergency? What brings you in? She says, oh, I just haven't been feeling well the past few days. She doesn't really go on. And I'm like, what's your history? And she says, well, nine months ago, I had a cranioplasty.

A section of her skull was missing from a birth defect. And so she had to have a mesh plate put in to reform the skull.

I think it's something that gets redone. That makes sense. I leave the room to go get the doctor, brief them that you might want to put a double mask on. We go back into the room, and the doctor's like, can you take your scarf off? I want to see. You're like, what's happening under there? Oh, no. She removes it. There is a quarter to half an inch slit open at the top of her forehead.

We can see the mesh plate. Oh. And her brain. Ah!

Her brain.

Now we know. And it like is very clearly infected. It's like red. It doesn't look well.

Definitely. And she was off in all the ways.

can't do that can you did you I mean you definitely probably shouldn't but being a new nurse thank god for the mask because I was not expecting grandma's brain to be out of course right you're not watching Pulp Fiction you're only human yeah so we're like have you been taking care of it and she's like I was taking pretty good care of it I keep the scarf on I change the gauze It's been going well.

Like, okay. Has anything been irritating it? Anything you can think of? And she says, no, I take the scarf off at night. And then my cats like to lick it.

I definitely think Mittens was like, she's on her way out.

So she obviously had to be admitted to the hospital because that's not good. But since it was COVID time, it took three days to get her from the emergency department up to a room. So for the three days she was down there, the entire back hallway just smelled the whole time.

We obviously attempt to clean it. We started IV antibiotics and would do the basic treatment, but we weren't getting in there.

It's literally that. Oh my God. You never know what someone's hiding under there.

She was the sweetest little lady. So kooky. If you were in the room, she'd tell you everything you wanted to know about anything. Yeah, but she was also crazy.

She got a room, and that's all I know. Okay. I'm glad. I don't want to know the end of this. This is rough. At this hospital, we had a lot of frequent flyers, and I never saw her again. Okay.

That would be amazing. I'd have to call you guys back.

I was talking to my husband and I was like, I don't have any stories. Just the cat lady. I was like, yeah, you should submit that. That's a pretty good one.

It's kind of a good ending. I guess so.

Thanks for sharing. Can my husband come say hi?

God, what have you done? Okay, throw it close. That's throw it close. Okay. God, what have you done? That's throw it open, but in head voice, You get there. What is head voice? Oh, head voice is normal voice. It's like, hello from the other side. Oh, it kind of reminds me of that.

Kung Fu Panda 12.

I thought you were trying to do it. That was better than the other two.

A third one?

That's crazy.

My mom was in the backseat.

And then just like... Ew!

That was like some dirty throw up. And I got the stains out.

Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh.

I think so.

100%.

I have that. I have the eat when you're bored. Yeah. So bad.

Okay. Yes. Point for me.

Yeah, it's gonna help you much better.

Yeah.

What?

Good.

Jake, te amo, tu podcast es increíble y me encantaría ser amigos para siempre.

No.

18.

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One of my biggest pet peeves in the world... is when I'm driving, singing along to music with a passenger, and the passenger sings too good. Oh, okay. Dog, you're ruining this fucking experience for me. Stop it. This isn't a goddamn talent show, bro. Oh, my God. They're out singing you in your car with your playlist. It's not even about out singing me. Don't sing that good in this car.

You know what I mean? Hey, Sinatra, just relax and enjoy the vibe. You're not getting the contract. It's literally the worst experience ever. One of our singer friends, you know who this is. We were in L.A. vibing with her. I was playing some Party Next Door, and she was hitting octaves and notes. I'm like, shut the f*** up. You're, like, biting your teeth. You're like, she keeps eating.

You go, enough!

It ruins the song experience. It does. Because I'm listening to a live-action remix, and I didn't cue that up. Yeah, it's like you're running, and they're hitting runs, and the next bar's already started. I'm like, I can't keep up. And you're like... Okay, what's worse? Someone who sings better than should be or someone that does not do anything? Like you're vibing.

You're like, oh, I got four fire queued up songs. They all flow. The vibe's hot. And your passenger's like this. What's worse? Honestly, I don't want those kind of people around me. You have one with you every single day. It's surely coming to an end. No, the time is ticking. The sand is almost turned over fully. It is. I promise you I'm not dealing with that much longer. I swear to God.

No, we're laughing. Honestly, I'm not too mad at people that are dead silent in the car. I think that's worse, bro. I'm mad. I've said this for years, and I've said it probably multiple times on this podcast. People that talk over my damn music. Oh, my God. Don't talk during my music time. If you... If you see me enjoying this, shut the f*** up, dude. It's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What about a question right at the drop? Oh, shit. It's like... Hey, what'd you have for breakfast? You're like... I'm like... I just go, that's it. Dude, what are some of your road trip pet peeves? It's music people, like people that sing too well. Oh my God, I got too off the bat. Or people that talk over the music. Mine are immediately.

My wife. Yeah. And pretty much every woman in my life. So, I don't know. If you have low bladder issues, if your bladder's on low power mode, you fly. Yeah. You don't go in the car.

That's not fair. That is extremely fair. And you are one of those motherfuckers. Beef jerky. You go Diet Coke and... Beef jerky. And I'm just like, beef jerky is one of the best road trip snacks ever. Yes or no, you cannot argue. I have the greatest road trip snack, not up for debate, hands down, shouldn't even be subjective. What? Sunflower seeds. Kim, that is the most hillbilly shit ever.

I'm not eating sunflower. Where are you spitting? I'm not having a spit cup in my Tesla. I'm not doing that. I don't want to smell beef and beef jerky and all these flavorings. On tour, there was one trip we had where we were driving from D.C. to Philly or something like that. Who was driving? Me. I'm not going to lie. I should go to jail for this concoction.

Chase. Good catch, cheer. That's not my name. That's not my name, quarterback. Come on, Dad. Dude, I think... So you... Okay. You just made that reference to that viral TikTok thing going on from Noah Beck's movie. If you haven't seen that, basically, it's Noah Beck. He did... Which is like a famous... Like one of the dance TikTokers from like 2020. Attractive looking dude. Great looking guy.

I had beef jerky, Red Bull, and corn nuts. I'm not going to lie. That car smelled like a Like, it smelled like... Like, I'm not gonna lie. We could put it on the Patreon. I don't care.

It is surprising to me that I remember that exact smell. Dude, yeah. It was pissing me off.

You're direct, direct passages to my nasal. Yeah, and you go... Corn nuts.

I'm just like... Last thing on the road trip, people. You ever had a bad backseat person? Not even... Backseat drivers are the worst. Shout out to Kane Brown. Backseat drivers are the worst. The ones that just talk and try to tell you directions. Oh, you can go. You can turn. Dude, it's like, hey, you should be driving. If you got this much to say, you get up here. I literally say that to Liv now.

Anytime she says anything from the backseat, I go, I'll pull over right now. Now, Liv is the worst. I will pull over on the side of the road, and we can switch seats. Liv is the worst. CJ's second, right? Oh, my God.

CJ's bad, too. Or... This might be too specific. The people that are in the back seat and they roll down their window when everybody else's windows are up, now my ears are blasted out. Now it sounds like they're cooking popcorn in my eardrum. Now, all of a sudden, I'm a Navy SEAL and I'm getting rescued from an Apache helicopter when I'm simply trying to drive. It's like...

And I'm like, oh my, yes, no. Backseat drivers, let's say this. The only thing backseat drivers should have access to is a charger. Yes, 100%. And some people shouldn't even have that. Yeah. The only thing you should get is a charger. You shouldn't have food. You damn sure should not have access to the windows. You obviously do not have access to the music.

And there should be that screen that's in the limos where you don't even see it. Yes. You can't talk about the road. Just be in the backseat. Backseat drivers are the equivalent to somebody on a plane in 32F talking to the pilot. You don't speak back there. You eat your Biscoff and you shut the hell up. And you ask if you need some headphones, you let us know. Literally. That's it.

You shut up and you relax and we'll get there safe. Oh, my God.

You know, I was talking to my dad this weekend, and you know how my dog's about to die, right? He's close to it. He sees the light every morning, but God's just like, almost. Wait a little bit. Couple more rabbits. Not quite. Malcolm's like, all right. Okay.

So I was talking to my family about my dog, Malcolm, his health. And I was like, okay. And I pay for Malcolm's vet. He doesn't like going to the vet. So I have to have a mobile vet come to the house, right? He gets anxiety attacks if he goes to the vet or he might try to kill another beast. So I'm just like, let's avoid that. He's on his last couple days. Let's just have him comfortable.

Let's bring a vet. Let's bring an in-home nurse. Yeah, in-home nurse to the house. So there's been a nurse that comes to the house and rubs him down and fix all of his knots, I guess. I don't know what they do. And so he had to get prescribed medicine. They gave my dog, my old 17-year-old dog, or however old he is, medicine, pills. Now, I thought dogs were lesser than us, right?

Probably top five. Skin looks like porcelain.

They're not humans. Not like we shouldn't care about them, but they shouldn't get the same treatment we do, right? I'm thinking Malcolm gets prescribed these pills. They bring the pills to the house, right? The vet calls my dad and says, Malcolm's pills are ready. He goes, where are they? Like, I'm here at the house. They're not outside the door.

you know good looking guy he had a movie that came out on hulu and it's one of those rom-coms and he was like a quarterback and he's throwing the football to like one of his teammates and the and the cheerleader caught it and he said good catch cheer and she goes it's not my name quarterback i'm not gonna lie i feel like if we had a movie together it would kind of be like that bro

And they go, go to your local Walgreens to pick up your dog's prescription. First of all, my dad calls me and he goes, what the? He's like, what kind of bougie shit is this? And I said, I don't know. I don't know how it works. He goes to the Walgreens pharmacy. He goes up to the window. And my dad is confused, right? He's 60. He's never picked up pills for an animal. He goes up.

He's like, I was told to come pick up some pills. And they go, is it for you? And he goes, my dog. They go, what's your dog's name? Oh, my God. He goes, are you serious? He goes, is it in your database? What does that mean? I gave him that. I don't know. He goes, Malcolm. And then they, like, have him fill out a form. I did not know dogs had HIPAA. Yeah. What medicine did they give Malcolm?

Because, my God, it's encrypted in Walgreens? Do you all know what HIPAA is? Yes. HIPAA, if you don't know, is basically like you can't. Like privacy. It's a privacy thing for humans. Like if I get prescribed something, they can't tell or whoever signs off on the pill cannot tell somebody else about their medical history.

you can't tell about the sickness or the pill who the am i gonna tell about my dog's hip dysplasia medicine are they trying to my dog yeah it's like am i gonna snitch to the neighbor poodle your dad goes so what exactly like how should i give they go sir can't tell you that yeah keep it secret they go oh by the way what's uh malcolm drum's age your dad's like 119 i don't know what do you want me to say

It's like, so we were having this conversation. It's like, who are we protecting Malcolm from? It's like, are we not the neighborhood dogs? They're not supposed to know Malcolm's got a bad front tire. Your ring camera, there's like three Dobermans at the middle of the night. They're like... They're trying to get his drugs. Dude, isn't that so strange? That is.

I have never in a million years heard of having to go to a Walgreens for dog medicine. They're feeding your boy perks. And they put it in that little bag with a receipt with his name on it. No, they did not. I said, Malcolm, you're a human, dog. Pay some taxes.

You haven't made a dime? Are you nuts? What have you... Oh, my God. What if you woke up in the morning, he was on his hind legs, top two was on the counter, and he was like... He was like... Right when he's like tossing a pill in his mouth, he sees you, he goes... He goes, ding, ding. He's like, bark, bark. And he just goes down.

How mad would you be if Malcolm was functioning like English, knew everything.

I would genuinely be upset because I've always had the inkling.

That was a three trumpet score. I've always, so y'all ever seen Toy Story? Yes. Where the, whenever Andy comes in the room, the toys fall down. I've always had that thought with dogs. I think dogs know some shit. No cap. I think dogs can see certain things. What do you mean?

But my thing is, when I see stuff like that, I immediately think, how many people are on a payroll and that went through them? No one, no one thought, let's make it a little better. Let's make that dialogue slightly better. I don't think it's that bad. It's not my name, quarterback. Yes or no, if I was playing basketball and I shot it, air ball, the girl caught it, I was like, oh, good catch here.

Dusty was milky as well. Oh, Dusty was goddamn almost transparent. Dusty, it looked like you shot a small tube of egg white. Like eggshell. It looked like Malachi's formula. It's like y'all spilled a little bit in his eye socket, and he got stuck. Dude, my mom's probably literally crying right now. Like, that's the crazy part. She's probably in tears.

Oh, yeah. But I think dogs. Pancreas.

Yorkies always got a little bit of issues.

They really do. Like, for a small build, they have a decent little ass. Go look at a Yorkie. There's, like, a nice, like, a curve. Am I on a list? I'm not going today. And y'all should have heard what he said off camera, what he asked me for. That's just brotherhood. At some point, you got to... Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, too much? Yeah. Oh, well, just keep it on Patreon. Oh, no.

That's where the line is. But back to Yorkie's ass. No, it's not. I think they can see, like, angels, demons, undeads, and spirits. Do you honestly believe that or are you talking shit? Little talking shit, little seriousness. Why do the dogs always look up in the corner and go, Dude, that's the same thing. Malcolm talks to corners. That's a corner. Yeah, Malcolm talks to them.

Every single morning of his life, he pulls out an encrypted little thing. He's like, all right, I'm going to go back to being a dog. See ya. We thought Malcolm was from the past at one point. Oh, my God. I'm getting booby-trapped on my own couch. Last thing on dogs, we thought Malcolm was from the past. What the f***? What does that even mean? Like a time traveler.

You thought he had a time-traveled dog? Yes, 100%. And this is not potting. I'm not potting. Deadass, we thought this. Because, you know, Preston's weird. And so he keeps like... So, you know, he has like old records from like 1930s.

It's like, you know, Preston's weird.

That's my favorite little one-liners at Preston. But, no, I love him. But he has, like, and they smell like Civil War and, like, Jim Crow. They don't smell good. And he has like the original record players too, right? And so he'll play it. Damn, where does he get these things? Dude, I don't know. Like black market. I don't know.

But like when I wake up, it sounds like I'm in a horror film because he's playing that shit, right? And so he'll be playing it and I'll wake up and I'll go into his room and be like trying to tell him, hey, turn that shit off. And Malcolm will literally be standing up like wagging his tail, like staring at the record player. Like, he loves that. Like, that's his shit.

And so we thought, we're bringing him back to his. He's got a reincarnated pup. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. The start of the year is the perfect time to get organized, set goals, and prioritize what matters most. And P, I don't know if you're anything like me. Probably not. But for me, my top priority is financial wellness.

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She said... Nice shot, shooting guard.

Now on to the rest of the episode.

No. No. I'd be like, oh, yeah. He'd be like, oh. Meet me in the locker room. But, no. I think if we had a movie and it was a sports little rom-com, little maybe not low-budget film, but, like, not. It might be happening soon. We're talking. We're working. Bubba just dropped an Easter egg. I didn't know we were dropping today. It's not even April, and I don't see a bunny, and I don't see a cross.

I don't know if she had to sweep under it, whatever the hell. She unplugs the tube, puts it up exactly where we had it, but it's unplugged.

All of the water, because she unplugged it. The whole time I was cycling through it, it was literally spewing on my counter, and then goes straight to my floors. And I shit you not, it took three towels. Just like you did with Liv's grandpa, but not decorative. These were real towels, you idiot. It took three towels to soak up all that water.

I don't know if it's just my sensory things. If you say you enjoy that, we're no longer brothers. I am not going to lie. Not like an overwhelming amount of water on my socks. But if I get a little wet sock... You ever walk past a shower that just got done and there's some water on the floor? No. I might take a step to the left and get a little wet on the hoof. You are absolutely joking.

I'm dead-ass serious, and I don't know what it is, and it's crazy that you brought that up. You're not being dead-ass. I'm so dead serious. And I'm not saying that just to counter your thing. I've thought about that for a while, why I like that. You're a freak. There's no other... What makes you that likable? Maybe the noise.

And I think because my socks are so crusted because they're multi-purpose socks, if you get what I mean.

oh that would have been so maybe like some of the crust gets like a little marinated after and maybe it's like a more comfortable walk more comfortable walk with a crusted multi-purpose sock and now some bath water oh my god you're the hunchback of Notre Dame dude you're not a clean man oh my god you know there's no way you enjoy that no way it's not like I genuinely enjoy it but it's it's more of like a foot hug it's more of like there's something there showing me love

It's more of something like that. I used to go to my grandma's house and intentionally put stickers. You know what stickers are? It's a southern thing. But, you know, they're like these little balls with spikes on them. What were you about to say? And I would literally decorate my socks with them. Oh, you're a killer. You are on multiple lists.

You would inflict sticker sock paintings on yourself? It never hurt because it would just get on the cotton. It was like a decorative piece. It didn't hurt your fingers picking it up? That was a little harsh on the digits. And your sensitive-ass hands? I'm surprised you didn't stick yourself right then and there. I've always had a thing with my feet. I've always had a thing.

Like, I can't cut my own toenails. Oh, we know. You always come for my feet. Your feet are just as crazy. Go feet for feet. Oh, no. If we went foot for foot, I'd lose. But it's not like a... It's not the 73-9 Warriors versus the Charlotte Hornets. It is... It's Golden State versus Cleveland 2016. You happen to be Cleveland. I'm saying... I just... I have to, it's a sensory thing.

I don't like my toes being spread apart too much or close, too close, and I don't like my nails getting played with. Your nails are too long. Not anymore. No, yes they are. Not anymore. You got them cut. I got them cut because I found a lady that cuts my toenails, and it's only her I can go to because she knows my sensitivity. She knows how to get under that hook and really pull it up.

God bless. God blessed be. Blessed be thy name. So we don't talk often anymore. That's not true at all. We don't speak at all. We speak, I would say, on average six times a day. I know, but I kind of like it, though, knowing, like, on my weekends, I can live my own life, and you won't know about it, because I know it'll make good podcast content.

And she doesn't make me feel bad for it. Because the last time I went there, there was a chunk of nail, I swear to God, about yay thick. And it was resting on her forearm for no more than three minutes. But she never even looked at it. She never made me feel bad about it. God, that woman's a champion. Dude, I love her. And she put lobster on me. What?

She got like a Walmart bag, put water, soap, and lobster in the bag. And put it on my foot and wrapped me. What? I swear to God. You are either sadly mistaken or that place needs to be shut down. She put lobster on your feet. Water, soap, lobster. What'd she hand you? Champagne. She gave you a glass of rosé with sea creatures on your feet. Yes, that's a part of the service.

This is not iCarly, and that was not a lobster. There's no way. I swear to God. Do you hear? How big was this lobster? Do you know what a lobster looks like? Not the... I didn't put Mr. Krabs in my shit. Not like a full lobster. That's a crab. That's literally a crab. His name's not Mr. Lobster. It's Mr. Krabs. You idiot. They didn't put Larry the Lobster in my shoe. It was pieces of lobster.

So they decimated a poor lobster. Yes. You could have grilled this. Took his remains. Yes. Nope. What is the benefit? What the fuck? I didn't go to Footology 101. Creep, I'm not Dan Schneider. I just, I just. I just saw whenever she was putting the Walmart sack on my toes that there was chunks of lobster floating around in there. It was the white meat.

Now, did she specifically and explicitly tell you that was lobster? She doesn't speak English. Then it wasn't lobster. Kim, yes it the f*** was. What kind of nail shop goes, oh, we got a customer. Oh! Oh, that was, no. That came down. That's a little catty wampus. That's a personal foul by me. Yellow card. Oh, we have a customer. Go get the lobsters.

cuts his neck off, and then goes, and rips him to pieces and goes, I think you're starting to be- And then adds some water and some Dawn. What the f*** are we doing in this foot salon? Yeah, and then Epsom's on the tub. Where are you- Where is the- I'm going. Where is this place at? I'm gonna go and document this. The one by my house. Dude. Yes. I need you to look at me.

There was an NFL player in there too getting the same thing done. Wasn't Lobster. I need you to look at me. That wasn't Lobster. I swear to God, Google it. Google it. Dude, is Lobster on the feet a part of a foot thing? The- I don't know how to use Google Chat, GPT, the shit. There is zero benefit. I've heard the little itty bitty ones that chew the dead skin.

No, there was no live fish in there because I would have had an intrusive thought and I would have stomped. That's why I don't do it. But there was dead, it was like little lobster pieces that you can go get at Eddie V's. I swear to God, it was lobster in the thing. And I felt it between my toes. I was going like this with it. I was playing with it, a little foot in there, a little lobster.

I was toe-f***ing that little lobster. I said, come here, Larry. Dude, did you find anything?

The only reason our communication was less than this weekend is because I was out of state. I was across state lines. And my parents came into town this weekend. Exactly. Let me tell you something about what happened. Oh, God. So my parents came into town this weekend, right? Okay. I don't see them very often. I'm a busy girl. Yes, you are. So they came. They came over. We went to Topgolf.

Me neither. Thank you, Pierce. Okay, for Patreon, right now, we will... If it's cut up, how do you know it's a lobster? Because I... And she didn't say it. She doesn't speak f***ing English, Cam. Exactly. I'm saying you thought it was lobster. It's not lobster. What was it then? Bass? Not lobster! I swear to God, it was lobster. I swear to God. Cam, we will put a friendly wage on this.

I don't even think it was f***ing fish. I don't think it was food. I'm telling you, they put lobster in my toenails. I'm telling you something. It smelled like hell. No, it was already bagged. Lobster, a bit of warm water, and some Don. Is there a secret recipe to beautiful feet? No. And lobster. I went to go get lobster this weekend, right? I went to a restaurant to go eat dinner. Lobster dinner.

But I just got the calamari because I don't like fish. God, you're a child. So I go up to the... I go into the restaurant... I go into the restaurant, right? And I walk up to the host. It's me, my mom, and my dad. I say, table for three. It is a Saturday afternoon. A little heavy in there, right? There's people waiting.

Now, there's people coming in and out of this restaurant, just got done eating. There's people coming in, putting their number in, putting their name in, people sitting down. She goes, it'll be about a 30 to 45-minute wait. Why? That's a very normal thing you hear when you go to a restaurant. Right? They give you a wait time.

I don't know if it's the weed. But as she said that, an epiphany happened. How do wait times at restaurants work? How can they give me a gauge on exactly how long it's going to take for me to go sit down and enjoy cuisine? You don't know how long that they're going to be sitting at that table. You don't know how long they're going to be there.

You don't know when they're getting up and when their cuisine is done. I think it's a ballsy estimate. I think it's a very ballsy estimate. But majority of the time it's... Based on statistics and science. Okay, but deadass, how does it work? Is there a quadratic formula? How does it work? Maybe when they seat people, they hit a button like, oh, this table's seated. There's never a button.

Don't just start saying things to try to explain it. There's not a Diet Coke Trump button on the thing. What? There is 100% buttons and tablets and everything at the front. He has to say that this table is occupied now. Exactly. They don't have running clocks on these tables. I'm not saying a running clock, you dork. I'm saying when they click occupy, it might have a time under it.

I just said they don't have times. They're not hitting a shot clock, you f***wagon. I'm saying it might be linked in to where when they hit it, it says this table started at 642. It's not a countdown. It's not a T-minus. It just says they look and they go, okay, well, they were here about 30 minutes ago. On average, a family stays 40 minutes. That's not true. You don't know.

Everybody loves a good Topgolf situation. Good old swings. Me and my mom and my dad, we go to Topgolf, right? No Preston? No Preston. So we're walking. We go into the Topgolf. We're waiting for our bae, right? I see this lovely lady in this nice skirt type thing. She's about my age, maybe a little older, right? I see her walk past me. She's walking straight past me.

I said ballsy guesstimate. That's what I said. That's what I stand on. Okay, but let's try to figure it out because it genuinely does not make sense to me. How can they get that so accurate? And at Topgolf, they gave me a rough estimate. They said 15 minutes. Guess what I got in my bay? 15 minutes. How do you know when they're done swinging that ball? It makes more sense to top it off.

There's a timer. Let me take that one back. Restaurants, you don't know. Like, say Pierce walks into a restaurant. He's little. He's going to be quick. You walk into a restaurant, it's going to be a long day. How do they know whenever people are going to be done? Pierce is going to get water and the Caesar. I'm getting every appetizer times two with six Diet Coke. Exactly.

And they have wait times at buffets. No. Yes, they do. Well, I don't go to your buffets. My buffets are a little up here. You don't? No, no, no. There's buffets where you got to sit and wait. That's simply due to tables not being... And like Brazilian steakhouses, right? You're not ordering off a menu. There's eight people coming to you at all times. With sacks of lamb.

And they're cutting all intruding my space. My plate looks like someone threw up on it because the salad bar is mixing with the chow mein. With the beef juice. How do they know when people are going to be done? When it's just a revolving door of gluttony coming through? How do people know? You understand what I'm saying?

The people at the steakhouse, you're in the middle of a conversation, they go, skewered lamb. They just summon themselves in your ear.

You're going, Dracula? Dude, they are invasive. They're invasive. Oh, my God. So make that make sense. How is there a wait time whenever just a revolving door of sin, gluttony, and overeating? How are we figuring that out? That is a hell of a point. Thank you. And it might be the weed because that is no regular person thinks of that. Most nine out of 10 regular people go, another weight.

You go, well, hold on.

whenever we were I'm going to move on but I do want you to get your point across I don't know that is a fantastic point the revolving door of gluttony bro it genuinely doesn't make sense I think there has to be an industry secret I'm telling you you might not agree because you are very much you have to prove it to me you have to prove it to me but there has to be like data backed

It's not... The fact they get it right so often is scary. Scary to me. But it has to be estimates. There's no other way.

There's not a scout team that's in the tunnels of the restaurant. Right. It's more of a, all right, they got here 30 minutes. It's a party of two. They might do... One appetizer shared, two entrees, they're up and at it. That's a lot of guessing. That's a lot of guessing.

They're always stern as fuck. But what if every time your job and duty as a waiter for your section was to update the hostess?

You're wrong. If you look even more below that, you can see the comment section. Is it fulfilled with your name? Guess what? Even more wrong. Go and fill that out. Get your good karma. I am being dead serious right now. If you don't fulfill that comment section, you're going to get some bad karma. Just kidding. I'm not Jesus. I don't know.

What if in reality they're like, fat ass got another dessert. fat ass got a dessert add 10 minutes and then they just walk past and she's like she goes table 8 fat ass desserts she goes excuse me sir it's gonna be 12 minutes not 6 and like it was just small updates I mean it's like drive-bys I mean it could be it but those are the things I like to think about that's a fan

I take a look at the boondoggle. Who am I? I'm a grown man. What do you want me to do? I literally was, I checked my mom's shoes. She was looking. She wasn't. So I looked down at the boom. What's the score of that game? Oh, wow. She goes, Hanya. Oh, nothing. No, but I came to find out my mom looked too. God bless her. One in the same. You are your mother and father's offspring. A hundred percent.

That's a fantastic theory. Thank you. And the internet makes fun of me.

But you said that the hosts are like the people that are most important. Oh, they gotta have a backbone and a shit-talking mouth. But I went, me, K-Rob, CJ, and Billy, we all went to this restaurant. Now, there's one thing about that group, right? Yeah. It's a hell of a group. We enjoy the finer things in life. We are all on the same page of we can spend money on good dinners.

We always are okay with that. So K-Rob. found this steakhouse let me describe this damn steakhouse right go for it this steakhouse was a person's home what did you say it was a person's home a house a little where there's a bed yes and a dryer yes there was a front door a back door it was a person's home It was on a street where there's neighbor, it was a person's home. You are absolutely lying.

I swear to God, right? So he said, K-Rob was telling me, he goes, dude, there's a steakhouse. I heard it's really low-key. No shit it's low-key. They're paying HOA fees, dog. Yeah, and they're fucking kids upstairs playing Modern Warfare. What do you mean low-key? But it's a house that's been there since like the 70s. But the guy's, I don't know where he's at. Hopefully he's alive.

If not, God bless you. He had okay steaks. What, am I supposed to lie because he's dead? What? It hurts him. It can't hurt him. It can't. I'm like, okay, K-Rob, I trust you because that's one of the things I trust him on. He understands steaks. I love a good steak. We go to this steakhouse. We literally pull up to a steakhouse. I'm like shit.

This is the dude's house Imagine being the poor bastard that like you say y'all were drinking before you're in the uber black You're on the way there. You fall asleep. You wake up.

You're walking through someone's garage Things different out here like that would be a mind so we walk I was trying to find the entrance of this house, but it was generally the front door So I walk up to the front door, right? Yes, I am tall, right? Yes, I am a big guy. I'm 6'7", 6'8", with shoes on, I found out. Thank God. Pretty. We walk to the front door.

Where does your hand normally go for a door handle, right? Like, if you were to just assume on a normal house. Yes, so you're walking up to a house. You're walking up to a door. Grab that door handle. Right there. You want to know where this door handle was? Here. I literally, it was about a foot and a half off the ground. That was a special made door.

Now, I don't know what the owner of this house looked like. He might have been... You're walking into Bilbo Baggins' crib. Who is that?

Right. He might have... Been a hobbit?

You ate tartar with Gandalf? No. I'm trying to be sensitive here.

I don't know the correct... Honestly, probably might have been. Like, for real, for real. Probably. Because why else would it be 18 inches off the concrete? Right, but no other door inside of that house was that tall or that low. So I'm assuming somebody either fucked up on the infrastructure or... Oh, they got a smart pet. They got a hell of a hound.

That motherfucker pees and comes back and walks in. So... Nothing happens. What?

So I was like, damn, I hope I get to see her again. Hmm. My bae is ready. They walk me to my bae. The girl or were you playing? No, the Topgolf people. My bae is ready? Your bae? Oh, I get it. So they walk me to my bae, right? Topgolf people are walking me to my bae. I get there. Two baes ahead of me was the girl in the skirt. Oh, this is nice. This is nice. I said, God bless.

genuinely nothing just moved yo it was the commentary after you said nothing just happened like jay look at this like my hair i take my hair i take my hat off my hair my hair is in the same spot it is okay yeah so we were at this person's house right the steakhouse I'm down here to open the door, right? There's literally a picture. CJ, put it in the podcast.

There's literally a picture of me opening this door, right? Are you serious? It's labeled as fine dining. I am in a nice, like, slag. You're done up. You look good. Quarter zip, collar, jewelry, all the things. Okay. Diamond, diamond, diamond. And so I'm walking in here. I'm wearing dress shoes. I'm walking in thinking it's a nice place. The hostess stands in the living room. What?

I swear to God, the hostess is in the living room, and you're talking about hosts and how they're the most important people. Backbone. I thought I was walking into a party. I swear to God. I said, me and K-Rob looked at each other. We were like, something's going down in here. Because the lady at the front, nice steakhouse, by the way. It was supposed to be.

She's wearing a jacket, a zip-up jacket. It wasn't zipped. It was right where the belly button region is. Her front porch was out, and she was wearing just a little bra. Oh, wow. A lot of spillage. Yeah, yeah. And not only that... A lot of loose milk. Not only that, lollipop in the mouth. Oh, no. Look at me. Oh, no.

She looks us up and down, swirling the lollipop in her mouth. Follow me. I say, oh, my God. We're walking through this motherfucking hallway, right? Like, I'm seeing pictures of his family. I'm like, what's going on? We walk into this one area of the house, right, that's been cleared out. There's like eight to ten tables here. It was a big house. Golly. Eight to ten different tables.

A fireplace going. Low ambient little piano music, right? And cracked windows. There's one guy eating by himself, right? His back is to his. He's cutting into his steak. He looks back at us. He's in a full suit. He looks like the most conventional waiter ever. But he didn't work there. But he looked at us back here. And I was like, we're keeping an eye on that all night. Right?

Someone is glued to him. Right? I'm positioned at this table. We sit down. It's only us four in that weird. The party went back to the front. And so I have a clear view of this guy's backyard. I see kitchen staff walking through the backyard, because I guess the kitchen's in one of these rooms now, walking back and forth, and I'm like, what is going on? This, like, 18-year-old girl comes by.

She, like, skips to the table. Doesn't walk to it. She skips to it. And I'm creeped the fuck out. I'm like, hey. As you should be. She's like, have you ever been here before? And I said, has anybody? Like, it was like a get out situation.

we order we get our stuff right they have calamari they have old fashions i'm like where are these glasses at how is this regulated exactly i have to go poop right but i don't poop in public so i'm just gonna go to the bathroom and be a lady and fart so i i'm like i'm like i'm just gonna go explore this house and find the potty I walk through more hallways of this guy's house. There's pictures.

I have a direct line of view at her. I'm going to be making eye contact at her as I'm swinging this nine iron. Right? Sure. So I was swinging. I was doing my thing. That's about what it looks like right there. I was hitting that thing. It was going about four feet ahead of me, right? So I look up because I'm like, okay, I'm going to try to make eye contact with her. I look up. Here we go.

There's newspapers. There's like a lot of weird shit on the wall that's in an old person's house, right? I start, I'm turning one corner and I see a bathroom sign. Men's bathroom, women's bathroom. You got two restrooms. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I hear some chatter over there. I hear, I'm like, are there other people in this house? So I walk past the bathrooms.

I look, it was the biggest group of old white people since Cam's last family reunion. Like dog. It was like white haired, powdered. And like, and it was, I'm telling you, it was like, get out. All you hear is like chatter, like ambient chatter. Oh God. My black ass turns the corner. They were like, it was like silent. And I said, that. I walk back into the bathroom.

I fart a couple times, wash my hands, and I go back to eating. And that food was ass, too. It was not seasoned. CJ loved it.

It was absolutely terrible. Oh, my God. That was perfect.

Yeah, I'm never going back there. This episode of the You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by Booking.com, Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. What are you looking for?

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No matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. So find exactly what you're looking for on booking.com, booking. Yeah! Now on to the rest of the episode. Cam, I want to play a game. Oh, God. You always play games. You know what this game is. We talked about it. Chat, the chat. It's all the listeners. We're actually really nervous right now.

Oh, my God, yeah. I'm fidgety. I'm fidgety. We're going to play a game together, right? We always do trivia on this podcast, but I want to up the ante. If Peyton's coming in with a game, I always make it a little too extreme. You do, always. We're going to be doing the extreme hot sauce trivia game. Oh, God. We're going to ask each other five trivia questions.

Each time we get a question wrong, the hot sauce is going to get increasingly hotter. These are actually the ones I'm holding right now are some of the three hottest hot sauces in the world.

She's with another guy in this bay. Immediately. I'm turned off. I don't associate with women with men. I don't believe that. I don't. I am a man of morals. I am kidding. So I'm like, immediately she's off limits to me. She looks like Rufus to me now. I don't even want to look that way. She's nasty. But... Oh, God.

No, no, no, no. I'm not ready. No, bro, no, bro. I'm not ready either. And you are doing this one.

You are absolutely doing this one. I am. This is the first time I've ever done a spicy thing on the podcast. Three years later, and all the mean comments talking about, why does Peyton never do the hot sauce? Well, I'm doing it now. We got the two mild ones up there. Even those, they say they're mild. We open them up, they smell like poison. The whole room is immediately hot. Okay, Kim. Woo, boy.

You're going to go first. All right. No, no, you're answering first. Oh, shit. Are you ready?

Spoon ready, and this is the first one right here. If I get one wrong. The first hot sauce is only a four out of ten. Here you go. It's called barbacoa. So have it in your spoon ready. We're going to start off easy, all right? Please, please. Please, please, please, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me tell you something! Oh, God. Are you ready? Yeah, my butt's starting to sweat, for real.

No, my abs are clenching, bro. I'm not ready for this. All right. What is the world's largest retailer? Oh, Jesus Christ.

No way. No way. Walmart's bigger than Amazon. No way. I didn't make the quiz. No way. Do you have factual proof? You're not going to do this. What's the world's largest retailer? The answer is Walmart. Eat up. First one.

All right.

It's not good.

Level one complete. Good job, kid. I'm not going to lie, though. Level one, I would order that at a restaurant. I'm nervous. I'm not good with spices. I would order that at a restaurant. I like spices on food, though, not in a spoon. Okay, this one's easy. This one's easy. What was Justin Bieber's first single? Oh, my God. That's not easy. You bastard. Yes, it is. What? That's pop culture history.

No, no. That's not easy, bro. That's not easy. Yes, it is. That's not easy, bro. What is Justin Bieber's first single? You're overthinking, and that's where you're getting messed up. It's not baby, is it? Is that your final answer? Baby, final answer. It's wrong. It's one time. I know it was wrong. I'm going to tell you one time to eat the second hot sauce. Let's go.

All right. Give me a countdown again. You ready? Three, two, one. Second hot sauce down. Bro, it's so hard to just swallow it. Nothing else in there. Okay, not bad. It's hot, but it's nothing. Both of those I would get on food. Okay, now, if you get this wrong, if you get this next one wrong, you're getting into the super spicy, one of the three world's hottest hot sauces. Oh, my God.

And the crazy part is this immediately, it's probably both of those combined.

Oh, my God. All right. I'm asking fairly easy ones. No, you're not, though. Yes, I am. Okay. Which country has the highest life expectancy? Switzerland. What's the answer? What's the answer? What's the answer? Hong Kong. Hong Kong's not even a country. Yes, it is. Hong Kong's a city. Hong Kong's a city. It says on here. I didn't make the question. I mean, it's still the wrong country, though.

I just naturally, since she was two bays ahead of me, we kept just making eye contact. But I would turn my head immediately knowing I'm off limits, you're off limits. You said, no, ma'am, you are in the wrong. Right? I'm sitting down as my father is going swing, swing. I'm sitting down. I see her boyfriend walk past to go to the bathroom. Oh, no. She's alone now. No. We share the same waiter.

Oh, no. I don't want to do it. I don't want to play anymore.

All right. Holy shit. My stomach already doesn't feel good, bro. Ready? You should get more answers right. Ready? Three, two, one. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Got the next one ready for you. How are you feeling? I haven't even swallowed it yet. You're letting it bake in your mouth?

Oh, no, the mouth.

You ready for the... Oh!

Question number four. Question number four. What is the last... Hey, my heart's racing, bro. Question number four. What is the last book of the Twilight novel series?

What's the last book of the Twilight novel series? Come on. Hey, this isn't good. We need more. Dude, I need milk. Can I have that milk? It's mine. Give me my milk. Where's the milk? That's my milk. Hey, I'm not even kidding. The last... Come on. The last book of the Twilight novel series.

Come on. Come on, you guys. For real, knock in. What's the last book in the Twilight novel series? It's like Twilight. It's like something about a new moon. Jacob Lautner's shirtless. Taylor Lautner. Final answer. Wolves and shit and they have a big battle, but it's all a scene. Breaking Dawn. No. No. It's Midnight Sun. What?

This is the second to last hottest one. I can't, dude. Dude, I need that milk. I need that milk. Give me the milk.

I tried to give you an easy one. This one's going to do me.

It's for my tongue All right Okay, is it more than me? No, it's a big more sense to take a sip of milk now or after Wait after right after here we go. Bitch. This is the fifth. This is the last step Apollo. Is this the fifth question? Oh Bro, when you get that third one, it's a different world. It's a different world. You ready? Yeah. All right. Here we go What company was initially known as Blue?

Okay. Oh, I thought you've done that one. Oh, no.

You just got to get through it. Mind over matter. My goal on this one is swallow quick. Go, go, go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, God. There's a lot of lip. That was a lot of lip. That's good. Oh, God. Oh, God. Why are you taking so much? Why are you taking so much? Why are you taking so much? I'm committed to the craft. I'm committed to the craft. Okay. All right. Oh, my God. Hold on. It's subdued.

Because we're two bays away from each other. We share the same waiter.

Very subtle because I think I swallowed quick, but I also think it's going to absolutely ruin my insides. Ready? Your fifth and final. Okay.

This is scary. Where is it? No. Where is it? It hasn't hit me yet. Where is this sauce? This is going to come out of nowhere. I need it to be here. Okay. We're just going to go past it.

I look over and my waiter is talking to her. I'm like, okay, probably ordering a beverage. Maybe some donut holes or some flatbread pizza. Or maybe extending your time on the top golf. A little more block party action. I stop paying attention. I see that. I stop paying attention. I'm going to swing, right? I'm in my back swing. I'm in my back swing. I'm in my back swing.

Oh, God. Okay. Ready? What company was initially known as Blue Ribbon Sports?

Oh.

What company was initially known as Blue Ribbon Sports? Are you kidding me? It's common knowledge. It's not? Blue Ribbon Sports, the only two blue brands I can think of, initially has nothing to do with blue. Thanks for the hint. I try now. Come on, Cam. Blue Ribbon Sports. It's a ribbon and it's blue. A6. It's Nike. Fuck me. He got... He went 0 for 5. He got the worst scenario possible.

You're spitting all over the milk. Oh, I haven't opened it yet. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to give you brotherly tips.

Drink the milk.

I'm not taking that much, by the way. I am not taking that much. You have to do... I'm not taking shots of hot sauce, brother.

The hottest one.

Bro, please don't eat all that. Don't eat all that.

Take it like a tongue. Like a tongue hit. Give me that final cut.

We love you, and thank you so much for coming back to another episode. It is that time of year again. Things are starting to happen. Big announcements are slowly approaching. Let me say this. Let me be very honest with you, very transparent with you. Here at You Should Know Studios LLC, we have received the first draft of our tour schedule this summer. We're going there. We're going there.

You're not doing well.

It hit his lip. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. Did we make out? Did we just have a hot make out?

Oh, but you got to. I'm not doing it.

Yes, you are. I'm not doing it.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. In a society that glorifies hyper-independence, it's easy to forget we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing that we're better when we ask for help. I think therapy is great, Kim. What do you think?

I think it's absolutely fantastic and a huge misconception. You do not have to be just filled with trauma to go to therapy. Therapy is so amazing for every single person for all different reasons. Yeah, I think it's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself.

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She likes you. No. And she wanted me to give you this. It's a receipt with her name and number on it. No, no. Oh, no. I'm like, you low down. You dirty. I FaceTimed her for four hours.

Oh, my God. I genuinely don't think I'm going to be able to do this, Cam. You got it. I want to end the episode. No, you got it. I want to end the episode. Are you ready?

Okay. Oh, my God. Dude, I've never had, like, actual hot sauce before. Like, I've done, like, the sriracha and stuff like that, but, like, spicy, spicy, I don't do. Dude, hot Cheetos to me are too spicy. Oh, don't let it touch your lip, bro. It hit my lip. Don't let it touch the lip. No lip. Straight to the mouth. Bring me my milk. Here you go. Yeah, I said I only had one milk. I had my own.

I know. You're starting to cry. He's got water in his eyes. All right. Okay. Grab the first one. That's not the first one, is it? That's the first one. And honestly, God, I'm going to tell you right now, and for everyone at home, that first one, that first one's like if you went out with some friends, it would pair really nice with a house margarita.

That first one's real good with a house margarita. We just don't have a margarita. There's no binder. Listen to me. Listen to me. Genuinely, hot Cheetos are too spicy for me, bro, and I just smelled this, and I'm starting to gag. Oh, my God.

Okay, do like a little bit more. No, no. A little bit more. No, I got enough.

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Put your phone down. You're not asking questions. You don't need a phone. What is... That's Siri open. Oh! Oh! My... You tyrant. You can't just be an honest man. Do it. You're good. Here we go. I'm having a panic attack. I know you are. And I'm sorry, but here we go. Okay, first question. What was the first Disney princess movie?

30 second time. Can I get multiple choice? No, no. I'm between two. I'm between Cinderella and Snow White. Okay. Are either one of those right? One of those is the correct answer. I'll give you that. Don't look at anyone. Don't. Stop. Stop. You look at me. I just did that on my own. Cinderella. Incorrect answer. You got it. It's Snow White with the little dwarves. All right. First one. You got it.

I'm literally having a panic attack. You're starting to touch your heart. All right. First. You got it. All of it.

I'm kidding. I almost farted out my heart. I almost shat my liver clean through my butthole. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, but I was like, I asked him. I said, isn't she with that guy? He goes, yeah, man, I don't know what's going on, brother, but she just wanted me to give it to you. I showed my mom. She goes, ah, this trifling bitch. Oh, hell no. Oh, you dirty, nasty asshole.

Oh my God. I need napkins. I need napkins. Oh my God. My tongue is still on. What the? Spit in your bag. Spit in your bag. On my lips. Oh, I told you. Don't let it go. I told you.

I told you. Don't let it go. No, you got it. Hurry up. Ask me a second one. I ain't giving a tongue in like that. Ask me a second one. Fuck the content. Here we go. Are you ready? You got to prepare the second one.

Second question. Get your spoon.

Show me how much you just got. I got enough, Cam. You're not my fucking regulator for hot sauce. I'm doing it. You're not my father. You're not my boss, and you're not God. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, my God. What are the floaties in there? Where is the famous painting the Mona Lisa held? France. Where? Bitch, France.

What is the famous one? Where you said it?

I have never heard of this.

Come on. Night at the museum.

Oh, I'm not going to be able to get this, dude. Oh, the Lerve. The what? The Lerve. Now, eat up. Cam, you can't ask me shit like that. The Louvre.

A lot of herbs, spices, a lot of grass. My hand's numb. It feels like there's fish in my stomach. In a weird way that's relatable. It's like something's floating.

I think I'm high. Are you okay? Your eyes are starting to get low. Your eyes are getting low. You look like your brother when he drinks a Coors Light. I can't even have fun. I'm starting to lose feeling. Okay.

The last dab, triple X. I'm not even going to lie to you. Oh, my God, my lips are chapped. That's where it takes a po-vault. Okay, here we go. This is where the spice really kicks in. Third question. Here we go. Third question. Where is it? Oh, it's thick. Oh, you got to go a little more. There you go. You got to, hey, don't do this, though. You were going like this. You got to.

What the fuck is that smell? Yeah, that's that. No, it's, no, it's. It smells like tire engines. What?

It's honestly starting to mess with my equilibrium. Oh, then you better get this one right. And look, you're going to slurp all of it quickly. Big slurp. Don't tell me to slurp. Here we go. I don't feel good. How many colors are there in the traditional rainbow? What the? 30-second timer. I got this. Okay. Red, blue, green, purple, yellow, seven. Seven is the correct answer.

So just by that... Thank you, God. You still might have to do that, but you... Thank you, God. But you have eliminated the last, the most spicy. Thank you, God. Here we go. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Next question. No, no.

Here we go. What is the official animal of Scotland? Oh, I know this. Oh, I know this. Scotland. 30 second timer. Scotland. The goat.

That's not even a real animal. That's bullshit. It is to the sky. It is. That's not fair.

Oh, God. Here we go.

Before we get there. All right, brother. I'm so sorry. Unicorns are real to the Scots, apparently. No, it's not. Bro. Bro, this is literally ranked 10 out of 10 hot. Yeah. This is the hottest.

And then my dad was like, shit, if you don't want it. He goes, hey, what's the number? He goes, just tell me the area code. I'll remember the rest. Yeah, so that was my Topgolf experience. I looked her up on Cash App and everything.

Oh, boy. It's literally like new colors come when I smell this.

He's crashing out. Oh, his hands haven't stopped moving yet.

Oh, yeah. No, it's in my chest. Oh, no, I thought yeah breathways getting real tight It's in my bag now Oh Nasty bitch in the bag in the bed.

See, you were a normal, normal little boy. Oh, yeah. Living in this beautiful cinematic little life you had for that night.

Where'd my hat go? You threw that bitch like two minutes ago. Oh, shit. Ha! When air gets on my tongue, it hurts. Oh, I told you.

Okay. Describe it, Bubba. You only got one more question. I can't, dude. My chest hurts.

Keep moving. The fidgets help. The fidgets help.

You saw what?

Oh yeah, it's in the back. Alright, so it's fair to say on this last one, if you get it wrong, you'll just go straight to the tongue. Yeah. No, we gotta go, because he won't be able to survive. I'm having compulsions. What? Compulsions? Contractions. No, you're not. Okay, you're good. You're good. Why are you grabbing your Johnson? Okay, here we go. Here we go. Last question. Can't please.

God bless.

The questions are predetermined, brother. Can't please. It's kind of like yours with this. Here we go.

I'm not getting your son a birthday gift.

Here we go. Which country invented tea? What the fuck was that psycho little smirk?

So. You can punch me in my face. I'm not taking that. Oh, yeah, you are. Yes, you are. You have to. It's a part of it. I did it. It's good. Honest to God, you already. Yeah, there you go. There you go. So, you're going to go just. We'll call it even at two drops on the tongue. Two drops on the tongue.

That's creepy. And we're not going to act like it's not. If you get an unknown number, the best way to find out who it is is Cash App. What are you, the FBI? How do you find out who's talking to you? You leave it unknown. Oh, no. Keep it spicy. You don't have enough experimentation or wonder in your mind. I don't. You have to. What do you do? I go, what's your name?

I'm taking one. You're doing two drops. Two drops. That's still less than what you would have. Here you go.

Oh, I know. My whole body is hot. You saw the pits. Yeah, roll those slacks.

Yeah, shoes are coming off. I know. I feel that pain. I wanted to sit butt naked. Okay.

Yeah. from an ice cube.

Don't ask me no damn trick questions, bro. The questions are over, brother. You're already at the last part. He doesn't know where he is. Open that tongue. Open that fat little tongue. Or yeah, go on the plate. Get a good dab on the plate and then just slurp it with the tongue.

Mind over matter, Bubba. I genuinely don't know about this, dude. Hey, honestly, if you want. Never mind, never mind. I'm going to do this a little, Dad. No, you're not.

I'm gonna do oh yeah oh it's like dragon breath isn't it oh my god it's like incendiary rounds and black ops hey hey youtube at this point I don't even know this is entertaining at this point oh I gotta stop talking you got it ready last one final one Hot trivia. Challenge complete. I swear to God, I just heard my grandma's voice. She's dead. In three, two, one. Absorb it. Absorb it. Absorb it.

If she says Craig, I'm talking to Craig. Hey, it's Craig.

that's all i said what's your name no 100 hey it was great seeing you tonight who are you that's not true you ever i know people get this you ever get a random text and it's not just like one of those you haven't paid your total scam text it's not one of those it's like hey i haven't talked to you in such a long time i miss you how you doing how's malcolm how's your pet like you know this person knows you but there's no text history there and it's an unknown number

He swallowed it. Worst decision you could have made. Yeah.

Punch something. Punch that. I'll give you my ass. I mean. I don't know. It's back there. Where's my milk? It's right there. You just set it down. Bag him. God, your bag has some weight.

Okay. Okay.

It's in my head. Hey, I love you. You got it. It's in my head. I love you. We're here. We're here. I know. Oh, what the f*** is that cracking noise? Oh, my God. What the f*** was that? Oh, my.

Hallelujah.

Are you okay? Scratch that dry ass head.

No. No.

$500. Full spoon. Right now. Right now. Right now. This exact second. Shake your hand. Come here. Wait, before you do that, actually, come here. Shake your hand. We're going to go to... This is going to be on the Patreon. If you want to see Intern Pierce... $500. Oh, my God. We got $200. Oh, my God. $200.

Thank you for coming back to episode 154 of the You Just Know Podcast. If you plan on doing this at home, have some milk water, maybe some parental guidance because it's not for the faint of heart. But confuse the casuals. Get your good karma with this week's secret code, TSH.

You can't just be like, who is this? I literally say, who is this? Don't have your number saved. Sorry. With a period. And they go, really? I go, who are you? Like, tell me your name. I swear to God. That's not appropriate or right. That is less invasive than going to a monetary service app to find out who they are. Oh, my God. First off, Cash App needs to be sued for that. They need to be sued.

We built such a great community. And these two are about to experience the same bullshit we just did over on the Patreon. Patreon, indeed.

Remember, tour's coming soon, I guess, if I make it to tomorrow. Tour's coming soon. You already know, Koala Club always gets the updates before everyone else. Remember, dude.

Yeah, I know that shit was hot as hell. Oh, dude, I'm going to go.

I can throw in a number. And it tells me the name. Make it the very last step. Because Cash App, you throw that number and it goes, oh, James Williams. Yeah. No, it should be, I'm sending 10 bucks. I'm sending it for the Red Bull. I'm sending it to this number. And then right before you click send, it goes, by the way, this is James. Is that fine? That's what it should say.

It should go, James Williams, right when I enter their number. That's bullshit. That's the only way. Like, that's half of my birthday text this month was because I was Googling people's things on Cash App or looking them up on Cash App. Let's break that down. What happened? Why do you got so many unsaved numbers? Don't like doing it. Do you not like people?

It's because I never think this relationship is going to go past this initial meet. Like, I never think, like, if I'm talking to you on a regular basis, I'm going to save your number. Can I ask a question? Go ahead.

What percentage was females? No, let's not put that. What percentage was women? No, no, no. Don't put that narrative out there. It's about even. It's about 50-50. Oh, bullshit. No, 100%. Oh, bullshit. I tend to have more women in my phone than men. There you go. Russian roulette, 80-20. Minimum. If I had a Russian roulette, 80-20. I'm thinking 85-50.

I'm just saying it doesn't matter about the gender. I just genuinely don't save numbers. CJ's name in my phone is still spelled wrong. That's how I just don't. I think my name in your phone is still Cameron SSC. No, it's not. Or what is it? That's on your Snapchat.

Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. How are you going to tell me what my shit says? Because I went through your phone the other day when you were asleep, and it says Cameron SSC. You went through my phone? Yes. Why'd you go through my phone?

Okay, okay. First off, okay, 20 seconds on that girl. Unbelievable woman.

That is a nasty word. Don't do that. What color was the dress? Oh, tan. Oh, man. It was like one of those tan, like, khaki, like... What was the weather like out there? Dude, are you okay? No, yeah, but no, I love my wife. I can't tell. I love my wife. I'm just saying. It's a picture. The mind water. It doesn't matter. It's kind of strange. Okay, I'll stop it. Live good morning.

But something happened to me this weekend, too. You know, I agree with you. When we spend time apart, not only does the heart grow fond, but memories are made without each other. I'm starting to enjoy it, though. Okay, but now that's where it becomes rude. Okay. I was in Oklahoma.

We're going here. We're going everywhere. And you will see that shortly. And remember, the Koala Club, once the tickets will drop, Koala Club, all tiers, get early access to the tickets. They get to see the tour first where we're going. Tickets, tour merch, they get to see it all first. They get access first. So be sure to join that Koala Club on their tour. You get 10-minute talks with Mama Liv.

Whew. I go, what are you doing? She goes, there's a bug. And I go, is it going to bite you? Because I'm looking at the road. She goes, no, it's a fly. And I go, you're kidding.

She said it was a five-foot drop-off. She was there with her brother, who's only four years older. So her brother's like 14, my mom is 10.

She gets, oh, stop, Tommy, stop. He kicks it again. The best thing for her to do in that time was to jump off the loading zone. She jumped off of a five-foot concrete ledge and landed directly on her hands and knees. Yo, Lisa.

Serious? I literally was going like 85. I was like, you're f***ing kidding me. She said she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where else to go. So she jumped off, cleared it, landed hands and knees.

I was like, you need to be studied, Mom. There's a couple things here. First of all, Lisa needs to practice her landings, brother. Yes, she does. At her age, now she still lands on her knees. Like, I don't know why she falls like that. She doesn't. She can't fall gracefully. The other day, she came into my house.

She steps on Ruby, throws her drink in the air, lands on her back, lands clean on her vertebrae. I was like... What are you doing? Like, what are you doing? And first of all, why is her father expecting a meatpacking place to have stitches? Life was different back then, bro. I don't know. Dude, he's like, you got a cleaver? I got an amputator right here. This episode is brought to you by Harry's.

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harrys.com slash YSK for a $3 trial set. Now on to the rest of the episode. Speaking of cars, I was thinking about this this weekend, too. I genuinely... You're ever in the car with somebody and you went on a road trip. Did y'all play music? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, okay. You ever singing along in the car with somebody on a road trip? Y'all just enjoy music, right? You're singing.