Philip Van Cleave
Appearances
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
The 2nd Amendment is a sacrosanct political suicide. Zero massacres since 1996.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
I guess if we're going to go to Planet X and say it's not the United States, it's some other planet, different people, different everything, I don't know, yeah. But in the real world with human beings, it's not going to work and gun control isn't going to work.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
It stopped one thing. That could also be a statistical anomaly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
But there were so few of them. Whoop-dee-doo. Whoop-dee-doo. Yeah. Whoop-dee-doo. Yes. Mass shootings were rare anyhow.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
I was unaware they had that many. Mass being, what, more than two people at a time? More than four. More than four. Okay.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
What did happen? Australia still has murders, rapes, and robberies, last I checked.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
Well, put it this way. It's illegal to have crack cocaine anywhere in the United States. Do you think if somebody really wants it, they can get their hands on crack cocaine in America?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
Let me think about that for a minute. Well, I guess effectively... It doesn't work.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
Well, let me put it to you this way. There are more drownings in backyards where they have pools. If they don't have a pool, there are no drownings in backyards, okay? So, the US has a very high number of guns. Therefore, there is going to be more chances for somebody to be killed with a gun.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
The Second Amendment, you know, is sacrosanct.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
We don't do background checks for the First Amendment.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
Why a man... Are you kidding me? Unless I could see a reason. No. I can't think of anything that I support. Because at the end of the day, none of it works.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
We're not Australia. It's a very different culture. Different people, different everything.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | John Oliver on Gun Control
The founding fathers knew that governments tend to grow beyond their means. In America, we're stepping in the direction of a police state. Is that really happening, Philip, or is that some kind of crazy paranoia? We have police. They're now wearing ninja suits, if you will. I mean, you don't even know they're police necessarily. They got the black masks on and everything.