PJ Vogt

The idea that there are parts of life that are beyond our understanding and that things that are incomprehensible can be dangerous, even fatal.

That's a true idea embedded in a fake one.

Radar really does glitch.

Machines do malfunction.

Some men's dongs reliably cause false positives with no clear explanation as to why.

Okay, who are you and where are we right now?

This is my editor, Shruthi Pinmaneni.

We decided we were just going to test this swamp crotch theory.

We'd had to take a flight last month anyway, and we decided to commit an act of journalism.

So here we were, standing on a crowded concourse, where I was, as instructed by Shruthi, identifying myself for tape.

Well, I'm EJ Vogt, and you and I are at the airport.

And one of the theories that actually I find pretty credible for what might be going on with people who try to go through the detector and get flagged is that their groins might be sweaty.

And

I don't want to exercise in the airport, but what I'm going to do is go to the bathroom and drench myself in disgusting airport sink water in my private parts and then see if that triggers a situation at the DSA.

As I say it out loud, it sounds like a terrible idea, but that's what I'm going to do.

Bathroom sale.

I let myself into the family bathroom, the one, crucially, with a lock on its door.

Someone has been using the sink for something similar, because there's lots of hairs on it.

That's gross.

Okay.