Professor Bob Waldinger

And so all you need is one older person who's crazy about you and is consistent.

And that's often a key to thriving.

Sometimes people have what we call corrective experiences.

And what I mean by that is they meet somebody who is a good person and who treats them kindly and with respect.

The worst thing about trauma is

is that it creates the sense that the world isn't safe and that people aren't safe.

They can't be trusted.

They can't be relied on.

And that's one of the most horrible legacies of trauma.

So you send children out into the world believing they can't trust anybody.

So the people who are lucky meet families

friends, meet a romantic partner who is trustworthy, who doesn't betray you, who is kind, who, you know, and then you can realize, oh, okay, not everybody is like the people were when I was growing up.

There are people who can be trusted.

And so that's what I mean by a corrective experience, where having a new experience with a different kind of person changes our mindset about what's possible in relationships.

They've done studies of this.

And actually, when they look at couples who choose not to have children and who choose to have children, neither group is happier than the other.

It's just a choice, right?

And if you think about it, kids are wonderful.

I mean, I have kids.

I'm so glad I had kids.