Quinlan Walther

Just like venture out little by little every day.

And the first option really included like, okay, but what happens if I start crying in public?

What happens if I get a call that my brother's having a breakdown?

What happens if X, Y, or Z?

What happens if I'm in school and I can't remember?

I was in college at the time.

What happens if I'm in school and I can't remember anything on the exam that I was just studying for?

All of these things were essentially what happens if I get sad?

What happens if I have to deal with an emotion that I don't want to deal with?

And there's no way to control that other than to prep yourself, support yourself, building the capacity to feel these feelings.

And then you aren't so concerned about what the world's going to throw at you because you know that these big uncomfortable feelings, though uncomfortable, you can manage them.

You can feel them and it won't kill you.

I think the question there, I would tailor it a little bit to do you like the way the relationship feels?

Because we can, if it's really all conditioning, right?

If the wound is essentially bad conditioning, meaning it brings out a destructive relationship versus positive conditioning, if you will, positive associations with love bring you a happy, healthy, stable, loving relationship.

So I think the real question is, how do you know if you're choosing from a wounded place?

It's, well, do you like the way the relationship feels?

And if not, there's probably something in your conditioning that has taught you to associate this subpar behavior with love.

Yes.

I agree.