Raanan Hershberg

And I also just made a movie. We just kind of made the trailer. It's about a serial killer called Memory Room. You do like it dark, huh? I like it dark. Memory Room. Yeah, it's a movie I made with my brilliant co-director Dan McCabe. Is it a comedy? No, it's about a caretaker. It's like a 25-minute thriller about a caretaker who's taking care of a guy with dementia.

And I also just made a movie. We just kind of made the trailer. It's about a serial killer called Memory Room. You do like it dark, huh? I like it dark. Memory Room. Yeah, it's a movie I made with my brilliant co-director Dan McCabe. Is it a comedy? No, it's about a caretaker. It's like a 25-minute thriller about a caretaker who's taking care of a guy with dementia.

If she isn't medicated, she's a psycho. Right.

If she isn't medicated, she's a psycho. Right.

And one day they're listening to music, and he seems to really like the song. And she's like, oh, do you remember that song? And he's like, that song was playing the night I strangled Rosie. He kind of just says it out of nowhere. And she starts investigating whether he actually killed someone or not. And yeah, we just filmed it. Are you the serial killer? No, we got a great actor, Hal Robinson.

And one day they're listening to music, and he seems to really like the song. And she's like, oh, do you remember that song? And he's like, that song was playing the night I strangled Rosie. He kind of just says it out of nowhere. And she starts investigating whether he actually killed someone or not. And yeah, we just filmed it. Are you the serial killer? No, we got a great actor, Hal Robinson.

Did you think about playing it?

Did you think about playing it?

I tell you, at one point, he was talking about killing someone in it, and he looked a little too upset, and I was like, you've got to look like it's not a big deal. I was giving him my serial killer wisdom. You should be talking about this like it's nothing. But he was great, and you can learn about it. Where can someone watch it? You can watch a trailer now at MemoryRoomMovie.com.

I tell you, at one point, he was talking about killing someone in it, and he looked a little too upset, and I was like, you've got to look like it's not a big deal. I was giving him my serial killer wisdom. You should be talking about this like it's nothing. But he was great, and you can learn about it. Where can someone watch it? You can watch a trailer now at MemoryRoomMovie.com.

We just kind of put it together. And there's also like, we went $13,000 over budget. So if anyone wants to be an investor, go to MemoryRoomMovie.com.

We just kind of put it together. And there's also like, we went $13,000 over budget. So if anyone wants to be an investor, go to MemoryRoomMovie.com.

Well, we're going to finish editing and then send it to all these film festivals and try to get in. Yeah. I made a movie with Joe List earlier this year, and I'm trying to start making more movies. I've loved movies my whole life. And I've written screenplays with my partner, Dan McCabe, who's great, a great writer. And we just finally started making this and raising money and making it.

Well, we're going to finish editing and then send it to all these film festivals and try to get in. Yeah. I made a movie with Joe List earlier this year, and I'm trying to start making more movies. I've loved movies my whole life. And I've written screenplays with my partner, Dan McCabe, who's great, a great writer. And we just finally started making this and raising money and making it.

But also that's how cars get, they catch fire like that. No, that's insane. Yeah, no, I, uh... What is this guy saying?

But also that's how cars get, they catch fire like that. No, that's insane. Yeah, no, I, uh... What is this guy saying?

It's awesome. Cool. All right, man. Beautiful. But it was so nice talking to you. Nice talking to you, too, man. It was a lot of fun. It was good time. I enjoyed it.

It's awesome. Cool. All right, man. Beautiful. But it was so nice talking to you. Nice talking to you, too, man. It was a lot of fun. It was good time. I enjoyed it.

Yeah. Your world is over. Or you're like, oh, shit, I fucked up. Let me say something to get out of it right now. You're a cynic. I am an optimist. I look for the good in people. I did a show once when I was younger. I guess I still have dark jokes, but I'm having some joke about SIDS, the sudden infant death. I was doing it. It was some pizza shop in my hometown in an audience.

Yeah. Your world is over. Or you're like, oh, shit, I fucked up. Let me say something to get out of it right now. You're a cynic. I am an optimist. I look for the good in people. I did a show once when I was younger. I guess I still have dark jokes, but I'm having some joke about SIDS, the sudden infant death. I was doing it. It was some pizza shop in my hometown in an audience.

One person in the audience looked really upset. I go, what? You don't like the joke? They were like, our kid died of SIDS. And I immediately like went into like, you know, like when you were starting out, I just went into the oldest, safest material. I'm like, so I'm broke. Anyone else overdraft? You know, just go right into it. And then at the end, I went up to him and her and I apologized.

One person in the audience looked really upset. I go, what? You don't like the joke? They were like, our kid died of SIDS. And I immediately like went into like, you know, like when you were starting out, I just went into the oldest, safest material. I'm like, so I'm broke. Anyone else overdraft? You know, just go right into it. And then at the end, I went up to him and her and I apologized.

And he was like, oh, we were just joking. I was like, that's the worst heckle ever. Oh, that's so mean. But I stopped doing that kind of joke afterwards because I was like, it's fine to do those kind of jokes, but you have to be prepared. Right. I was not prepared. I don't want to upset people like that, so I just stopped doing it. Especially someone who lost their kid.

And he was like, oh, we were just joking. I was like, that's the worst heckle ever. Oh, that's so mean. But I stopped doing that kind of joke afterwards because I was like, it's fine to do those kind of jokes, but you have to be prepared. Right. I was not prepared. I don't want to upset people like that, so I just stopped doing it. Especially someone who lost their kid.

Right, so I was like, I can't do those jokes.

Right, so I was like, I can't do those jokes.

No, no, no, of course.

No, no, no, of course.

It's a taste thing. Yeah, exactly. But when you start out, no one knew who I was at that pizza shop in Bloomington, Indiana.

It's a taste thing. Yeah, exactly. But when you start out, no one knew who I was at that pizza shop in Bloomington, Indiana.

Okay, that's great. That's great. I've said horrible shit, but it's not on film.

Okay, that's great. That's great. I've said horrible shit, but it's not on film.

Of course, yeah. And you have to like, that's why when they Luke the Louie thing, it was any comic who criticized him should lose their comedian badge right away. They have to me, yeah. If you release something when they weren't planning for it, it doesn't matter what they said in it, you're at fault for releasing something.

Of course, yeah. And you have to like, that's why when they Luke the Louie thing, it was any comic who criticized him should lose their comedian badge right away. They have to me, yeah. If you release something when they weren't planning for it, it doesn't matter what they said in it, you're at fault for releasing something.

You learn, Louis, people like Louis, the great comics are great at learning how to make a hard joke work. Yes. And he hadn't maybe developed the cushions yet on stage, but they would have come. He hadn't done any comedy at all in 10 months.

You learn, Louis, people like Louis, the great comics are great at learning how to make a hard joke work. Yes. And he hadn't maybe developed the cushions yet on stage, but they would have come. He hadn't done any comedy at all in 10 months.

I think anyone who criticized him about that was the kind of comedian who doesn't take risks. Because if you take any risks, you wouldn't want stuff to be released.

I think anyone who criticized him about that was the kind of comedian who doesn't take risks. Because if you take any risks, you wouldn't want stuff to be released.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have to, yeah. Once he puts it on a special, then you can judge it. Once he decides. But until then, yeah, work on it. Imagine if my Sid's joke was filmed. I'd probably get some notoriety back then.

You have to, yeah. Once he puts it on a special, then you can judge it. Once he decides. But until then, yeah, work on it. Imagine if my Sid's joke was filmed. I'd probably get some notoriety back then.

Yeah, but no one knows about it except for me bringing it up right now.

Yeah, but no one knows about it except for me bringing it up right now.

You're working shit out. You're stumbling. You're bombing. You don't want people to see that part.

You're working shit out. You're stumbling. You're bombing. You don't want people to see that part.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure.

It's interesting. To me, it's all a mystery how it develops. I think about it. I listen to tapes. But when you just keep doing it, it just naturally edits itself. It's an interesting mystery where it naturally forms. Right.

It's interesting. To me, it's all a mystery how it develops. I think about it. I listen to tapes. But when you just keep doing it, it just naturally edits itself. It's an interesting mystery where it naturally forms. Right.

Yes. Yes. And listen to it all.

Yes. Yes. And listen to it all.

Yeah. That's the death. One of the things Louis taught me, or not taught me, something I understood, but he really articulated, is, like, the enemy of comedy is roteness. Figuring out that you, once you think you can say it a certain way where it gets a laugh, it's dead. Like, if you're relying on to just say it that way to get a laugh. Right, right, right.

Yeah. That's the death. One of the things Louis taught me, or not taught me, something I understood, but he really articulated, is, like, the enemy of comedy is roteness. Figuring out that you, once you think you can say it a certain way where it gets a laugh, it's dead. Like, if you're relying on to just say it that way to get a laugh. Right, right, right.

And he made it clear, like, you really, and he shows it. You really got to think about the emotion behind it, which you forget immediately after a while. Yeah. I fall into this trap all the time where I figure out a way to say a joke and it gets a laugh. And I think the minute you're 100% sure it's going to work, that's when it starts dying. Right.

And he made it clear, like, you really, and he shows it. You really got to think about the emotion behind it, which you forget immediately after a while. Yeah. I fall into this trap all the time where I figure out a way to say a joke and it gets a laugh. And I think the minute you're 100% sure it's going to work, that's when it starts dying. Right.

Yeah, to me it's like instead of... thinking of like, oh, I'm saying something now that will get a laugh. Just try to think of the anger or the sadness or whatever.

Yeah, to me it's like instead of... thinking of like, oh, I'm saying something now that will get a laugh. Just try to think of the anger or the sadness or whatever.

That's why Bill Burr is so great because it's like, he doesn't look like he's trying to get people to laugh. Right, right, right. He just looks really angry. Yeah. And that's funny. He is.

That's why Bill Burr is so great because it's like, he doesn't look like he's trying to get people to laugh. Right, right, right. He just looks really angry. Yeah. And that's funny. He is.

And that's what's hilarious, just kind of like the fact he's so great at... Keeping that anger. I don't know if it's an act. I mean, keeping that anger alive through all these shows. It's not an act. It's not an act.

And that's what's hilarious, just kind of like the fact he's so great at... Keeping that anger. I don't know if it's an act. I mean, keeping that anger alive through all these shows. It's not an act. It's not an act.

He knows me. No, he's amazing. Yeah, I just think his ability to just always be himself on stage, which I think that's the comedy I love the most.

He knows me. No, he's amazing. Yeah, I just think his ability to just always be himself on stage, which I think that's the comedy I love the most.

Yeah. No, that's incredible.

Yeah. No, that's incredible.

Right, right. Really? Really? And having to care about it. I feel like so many times I'll do a bit, and it's not working, and then I realize, I don't give a shit about the thing I'm saying. If it's important to me, it'll be important to the audience.

Right, right. Really? Really? And having to care about it. I feel like so many times I'll do a bit, and it's not working, and then I realize, I don't give a shit about the thing I'm saying. If it's important to me, it'll be important to the audience.

I know there's something.

I know there's something.

You don't care. You don't care, and you know they work. There's no mystery.

You don't care. You don't care, and you know they work. There's no mystery.

With the hour, it works well.

With the hour, it works well.

Yeah. That's a great thing to do. You have to. That's the hardest part, forgetting everything.

Yeah. That's a great thing to do. You have to. That's the hardest part, forgetting everything.

I'm like that. How does it go? People bring that up like, oh yeah, why did I stop doing that joke and then I'll start doing it again? I know. It's weird. It's tough. I did an hour, released an hour a couple months ago and so I'm trying to work out a new hour. It's tough when you have that because there's

I'm like that. How does it go? People bring that up like, oh yeah, why did I stop doing that joke and then I'll start doing it again? I know. It's weird. It's tough. I did an hour, released an hour a couple months ago and so I'm trying to work out a new hour. It's tough when you have that because there's

A lot of jokes you just probably don't care about that much, but you need it in there just for the, you know. Right, right, right. It's like scaffolding, you know.

A lot of jokes you just probably don't care about that much, but you need it in there just for the, you know. Right, right, right. It's like scaffolding, you know.

but if you're listening if you're not those people everybody else you should write yeah because you can go back and not forget that i have a whole my bookshelf looks like seven you know where he has all the notebooks yeah that's great it's all just you know crazy manifestos and jokes yeah i think that's it's like one of the things that i found when i had to do this live special was that i had a really

but if you're listening if you're not those people everybody else you should write yeah because you can go back and not forget that i have a whole my bookshelf looks like seven you know where he has all the notebooks yeah that's great it's all just you know crazy manifestos and jokes yeah i think that's it's like one of the things that i found when i had to do this live special was that i had a really

Hey, Joe, it's the replacer. Yeah. No, you. Hey, I'm going to take it from here so you can enjoy some Call of Duty Black Ops 6. Great. Now, listen up, folks. Life can be chaotic, but you shouldn't have to miss out on the latest Call of Duty just because you've got, I don't know, responsibilities. That's where I come in. I will handle the boring stuff like work, chores, even podcast ads.

Hey, Joe, it's the replacer. Yeah. No, you. Hey, I'm going to take it from here so you can enjoy some Call of Duty Black Ops 6. Great. Now, listen up, folks. Life can be chaotic, but you shouldn't have to miss out on the latest Call of Duty just because you've got, I don't know, responsibilities. That's where I come in. I will handle the boring stuff like work, chores, even podcast ads.

I know. It's like whenever I've done late night, I start really analyzing the jokes and cutting them and be like, oh, if I did this all the time, I'd be pretty good. Yeah. that word does not work there, but it's just because I'm doing it on late nights. So I'm like, but then normally I'm like, whatever.

I know. It's like whenever I've done late night, I start really analyzing the jokes and cutting them and be like, oh, if I did this all the time, I'd be pretty good. Yeah. that word does not work there, but it's just because I'm doing it on late nights. So I'm like, but then normally I'm like, whatever.

I know, but you can only technically practice on stage. That's the weird thing. It's like... You can, but you can prepare offstage. Yeah. You got, yeah. I, uh... Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's really important to write everything down and go back to it so you don't lose anything. You can forget things. Yeah, especially as you get older.

I know, but you can only technically practice on stage. That's the weird thing. It's like... You can, but you can prepare offstage. Yeah. You got, yeah. I, uh... Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's really important to write everything down and go back to it so you don't lose anything. You can forget things. Yeah, especially as you get older.

I released my SIDS bit. You can do it.

I released my SIDS bit. You can do it.

You got it, yeah. It's important to be organized. Yeah, for sure.

You got it, yeah. It's important to be organized. Yeah, for sure.

It's a weird job, because it's just you. Uh-huh. And it's just how ... Even advice doesn't typically work, because ... Every comedian, when they give advice, they're really just giving it that works for them. And you don't know if it works for your voice or how you... So you're just alone. And you have to create your own system.

It's a weird job, because it's just you. Uh-huh. And it's just how ... Even advice doesn't typically work, because ... Every comedian, when they give advice, they're really just giving it that works for them. And you don't know if it works for your voice or how you... So you're just alone. And you have to create your own system.

No. And if anything, I mean, there's some good advice. I mean, when I was starting out, I got a couple, you know, look around the audience, keep the mic out of the standard stuff. But like once you get into real advice, I don't know. I think it just gets in your head for the most part. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's terrible.

No. And if anything, I mean, there's some good advice. I mean, when I was starting out, I got a couple, you know, look around the audience, keep the mic out of the standard stuff. But like once you get into real advice, I don't know. I think it just gets in your head for the most part. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's terrible.

He was like the first comic recording of sets.

He was like the first comic recording of sets.

Yeah, I think that advice is great. Definitely writing a lot and definitely listen to your sense is so important because there's so many comics that go up all the time, but they're delusional and they don't get better because they're not realizing that it's not working.

Yeah, I think that advice is great. Definitely writing a lot and definitely listen to your sense is so important because there's so many comics that go up all the time, but they're delusional and they don't get better because they're not realizing that it's not working.

Exactly. But stuff about how to say shit and all that, or your style, some of that, I feel like you're kind of alone a little. 100%.

Exactly. But stuff about how to say shit and all that, or your style, some of that, I feel like you're kind of alone a little. 100%.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's never advice from the great. It's always some weird person, some like. Kind of grifty. Yeah, it's grifty. And someone would be like, what? You're not a comedian.

It's never advice from the great. It's always some weird person, some like. Kind of grifty. Yeah, it's grifty. And someone would be like, what? You're not a comedian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a good, I would love to hear that stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a good, I would love to hear that stuff.

Impossible. It's still impossible to understand. Yeah, a lot of it, right? I listened to him. It was a different time where saying Yiddish was really hip. Right. Lenny? Yeah, you know the Meshuggah guys on the street.

Impossible. It's still impossible to understand. Yeah, a lot of it, right? I listened to him. It was a different time where saying Yiddish was really hip. Right. Lenny? Yeah, you know the Meshuggah guys on the street.

Some of the most groundbreaking stuff feels the most dated later because it is so groundbreaking that everyone, the model changed.

Some of the most groundbreaking stuff feels the most dated later because it is so groundbreaking that everyone, the model changed.

But it seems, yeah. No, it's like that musical Oklahoma seems like such a standard thing. But at the time it was super experimental. It was the first one where they had like not a chorus on stage right away or someone singing and a narrative. Like musicals before that were reviews. And you're like, I switched it to musicals. You're like, go back to comedy. No, musicals are cool. I love musicals.

But it seems, yeah. No, it's like that musical Oklahoma seems like such a standard thing. But at the time it was super experimental. It was the first one where they had like not a chorus on stage right away or someone singing and a narrative. Like musicals before that were reviews. And you're like, I switched it to musicals. You're like, go back to comedy. No, musicals are cool. I love musicals.

But it was groundbreaking at the time. A narrative story. Mustachioed before that was like reviews. And they broke a lot of rules. But now it's just Oklahoma. But it was like an experimental thing at the time.

But it was groundbreaking at the time. A narrative story. Mustachioed before that was like reviews. And they broke a lot of rules. But now it's just Oklahoma. But it was like an experimental thing at the time.

Yeah. No, it is the most watched movie. I read a book about the making recently. It was interesting. Yeah. Did you know that... So... Judy Garland was groped by a lot of the little people on the movie. It's like a whole thing, she got groped. And I read it, apparently they were mad. All the little people were very drunk and wild.

Yeah. No, it is the most watched movie. I read a book about the making recently. It was interesting. Yeah. Did you know that... So... Judy Garland was groped by a lot of the little people on the movie. It's like a whole thing, she got groped. And I read it, apparently they were mad. All the little people were very drunk and wild.

Bro, people were savages back then. Oh, there was...

Bro, people were savages back then. Oh, there was...

Oh, he slapped, the director, Victor Fleming, slapped Judy Garland in the face during a scene. Just slapped her because she couldn't keep a straight face. Oh, my God. Oh, no. And that movie, I wish I could make a movie about the making of Wizard of Oz, and that would show the beauty of the movie, but also how horrible behind the scenes were. Right. Because you had the witch caught on fire.

Oh, he slapped, the director, Victor Fleming, slapped Judy Garland in the face during a scene. Just slapped her because she couldn't keep a straight face. Oh, my God. Oh, no. And that movie, I wish I could make a movie about the making of Wizard of Oz, and that would show the beauty of the movie, but also how horrible behind the scenes were. Right. Because you had the witch caught on fire.

And literally like lost feeling in her hand at one point. And then they forced her to go back to Margaret, what her name is. They forced her to go back to work the next day, even though she was in the hospital. The original guy playing the tin man got really sick because of the paint they were using. He ended up in the hospital. They just replaced him immediately. Yeah. He got like really sick.

And literally like lost feeling in her hand at one point. And then they forced her to go back to Margaret, what her name is. They forced her to go back to work the next day, even though she was in the hospital. The original guy playing the tin man got really sick because of the paint they were using. He ended up in the hospital. They just replaced him immediately. Yeah. He got like really sick.

Yeah. No, it's like a it was a.

Yeah. No, it's like a it was a.

That the radium girls?

That the radium girls?

No, no one gave a shit. And in Hollywood, there was no like, the stars didn't have like, Some stars were beginning to have power, but Judy Garland, she was just treated like she was owned by them. You know what I mean?

No, no one gave a shit. And in Hollywood, there was no like, the stars didn't have like, Some stars were beginning to have power, but Judy Garland, she was just treated like she was owned by them. You know what I mean?

Like to slap. Imagine the director trying to slap Emma Stone now. Crazy. It's just crazy to think that that wasn't that long ago. I know. And it's, well, the Holocaust also happened. But isn't it crazy? Not too soon after.

Like to slap. Imagine the director trying to slap Emma Stone now. Crazy. It's just crazy to think that that wasn't that long ago. I know. And it's, well, the Holocaust also happened. But isn't it crazy? Not too soon after.

It's all... Nuts. Yeah. I love watching old stuff to see the...

It's all... Nuts. Yeah. I love watching old stuff to see the...

That's insane.

That's insane.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Well, every 80s movie, they're like, you got to watch this 80s movie. It's a classic. Then you turn it on. It's like 12 nerds gang raping a woman. It's like every 80s comedy is like a prank. What is this one?

Well, every 80s movie, they're like, you got to watch this 80s movie. It's a classic. Then you turn it on. It's like 12 nerds gang raping a woman. It's like every 80s comedy is like a prank. What is this one?

And they're laughing.

And they're laughing.

Yeah. Well, we're getting better. We're getting better. It's just slow. My cousin had a bat mitzvah. It's reformed. That's where you do the whole service in English, and you have to read part of the Bible, which in conservative you do in Hebrew, but in reform you do in English. Why reform? They're just more liberal, more accessible.

Yeah. Well, we're getting better. We're getting better. It's just slow. My cousin had a bat mitzvah. It's reformed. That's where you do the whole service in English, and you have to read part of the Bible, which in conservative you do in Hebrew, but in reform you do in English. Why reform? They're just more liberal, more accessible.

It's usually like a lesbian rabbi eating out her girlfriend on stage and stuff. And there was like the cantors tuning a guitar. And she had to read a part of the Bible, but reformed to it in English. So the 13-year-old girl had to go on stage in front of everyone and read the selected part. And not every part of the Bible holds up. So it was like 300 people, her parents behind her.

It's usually like a lesbian rabbi eating out her girlfriend on stage and stuff. And there was like the cantors tuning a guitar. And she had to read a part of the Bible, but reformed to it in English. So the 13-year-old girl had to go on stage in front of everyone and read the selected part. And not every part of the Bible holds up. So it was like 300 people, her parents behind her.

And she's just on stage. She has to open to the part. And she's just like... When a slave offends you, you cut off his right arm. And then his parents, her parents are behind her. They're like, that's my girl. And then she's like, when you offend them again, you execute them. These are the laws of how to punish your slaves. And we're all just like in the back. Is that a real quote?

And she's just on stage. She has to open to the part. And she's just like... When a slave offends you, you cut off his right arm. And then his parents, her parents are behind her. They're like, that's my girl. And then she's like, when you offend them again, you execute them. These are the laws of how to punish your slaves. And we're all just like in the back. Is that a real quote?

Yeah, or something like that. Yeah, something close to that. Jesus Christ. And that's why you do it in Hebrews. You don't have to know it. So you can pretend it's okay. That's why we do it in Hebrew. You don't know what they're talking about.

Yeah, or something like that. Yeah, something close to that. Jesus Christ. And that's why you do it in Hebrews. You don't have to know it. So you can pretend it's okay. That's why we do it in Hebrew. You don't know what they're talking about.

It says, give me $100 if you want to be in the afterlife.

It says, give me $100 if you want to be in the afterlife.

Right, right. Yeah, the Latin, that was a big con. Huge con.

Right, right. Yeah, the Latin, that was a big con. Huge con.

Nobody speaks it. Yeah, only we know what it's saying.

Nobody speaks it. Yeah, only we know what it's saying.

No, unless you're getting possessed by the devil.

No, unless you're getting possessed by the devil.

They don't throw in Latin? Do they occasionally? I feel like the exorcists. I feel like she throws in a little Latin. She said, your mother sucks cocks in hell. By the way, that movie... Super English. I don't understand why anyone's scared of that movie. That movie's hilarious.

They don't throw in Latin? Do they occasionally? I feel like the exorcists. I feel like she throws in a little Latin. She said, your mother sucks cocks in hell. By the way, that movie... Super English. I don't understand why anyone's scared of that movie. That movie's hilarious.

Seventy... Five? Seventy...

Seventy... Five? Seventy...

Tried to be Rain Man. So I was six. Yeah, well, you should have been seeing the movie anyway.

Tried to be Rain Man. So I was six. Yeah, well, you should have been seeing the movie anyway.

Can I ask you this? I was talking to them backstage. Did you believe in the devil, kind of? Oh, yeah, sure. Because I'm a Jew. I'm like a heathen Jew, right? We don't believe in the devil. So for me, it just felt like funny. It's a good fucking movie, man. But it's just like she's like saying like your mom sucks cocks in hell. That's like to a priest. That's definitively funny.

Can I ask you this? I was talking to them backstage. Did you believe in the devil, kind of? Oh, yeah, sure. Because I'm a Jew. I'm like a heathen Jew, right? We don't believe in the devil. So for me, it just felt like funny. It's a good fucking movie, man. But it's just like she's like saying like your mom sucks cocks in hell. That's like to a priest. That's definitively funny.

What's up?

What's up?

Well, how about when she fucks herself with the cross?

Well, how about when she fucks herself with the cross?

But that's like, I guess back then, the idea of a kid cursing was like. Oh, it was crazy. Well, this girl. But now it's South Park.

But that's like, I guess back then, the idea of a kid cursing was like. Oh, it was crazy. Well, this girl. But now it's South Park.

What's going on? It's an honor. Good to be here. The cold showers, what we were talking about before, those are the hardest.

What's going on? It's an honor. Good to be here. The cold showers, what we were talking about before, those are the hardest.

You just see people see you on the street.

You just see people see you on the street.

You're like 13. People are walking by.

You're like 13. People are walking by.

Yeah. That was... Yeah. I just... I love horror movies, but I find that one, it's like... I just don't find it. I don't know. I feel like a girl. I mean, at the time, I get it was scary. Definitely if you're six. But I just find it silly. It's just like you're telling the priest to go fuck himself. It's just funny.

Yeah. That was... Yeah. I just... I love horror movies, but I find that one, it's like... I just don't find it. I don't know. I feel like a girl. I mean, at the time, I get it was scary. Definitely if you're six. But I just find it silly. It's just like you're telling the priest to go fuck himself. It's just funny.

And all those movies have gone on, and we've learned from those movies. Which is interesting to think that back then at Kid Cursing, we were so much more puritanical. That was disturbing.

And all those movies have gone on, and we've learned from those movies. Which is interesting to think that back then at Kid Cursing, we were so much more puritanical. That was disturbing.

Right, right. And he did have great jokes. You just gotta get past the... You dig and the... Yeah. Meshuggah knows. But like... He had great jokes. That book of his is awesome, the one of his transcripts. Do you look at that?

Right, right. And he did have great jokes. You just gotta get past the... You dig and the... Yeah. Meshuggah knows. But like... He had great jokes. That book of his is awesome, the one of his transcripts. Do you look at that?

It's like just that writing. Of the trials? No, just of the stand-up. Oh, the stand-up. It's awesome. You see it all. He had one bit that was like – I love Bill Hicks. He's one of my favorites. But it was similar to a Bill Hicks joke. Not to say Bill Hicks stole from it, but they're just great minds think alike about like – If Jesus came back, would he want to see a cross?

It's like just that writing. Of the trials? No, just of the stand-up. Oh, the stand-up. It's awesome. You see it all. He had one bit that was like – I love Bill Hicks. He's one of my favorites. But it was similar to a Bill Hicks joke. Not to say Bill Hicks stole from it, but they're just great minds think alike about like – If Jesus came back, would he want to see a cross?

Because it doesn't get your whole body, so you actually have to constantly move around and re-freeze your ass off.

Because it doesn't get your whole body, so you actually have to constantly move around and re-freeze your ass off.

Something similar to that.

Something similar to that.

Yeah, but he might have been the first.

Yeah, but he might have been the first.

I mean, Kenniston had something kind of similar to that, too. I listened to Bill Hicks recently. He got me into comedy. I always loved him. I listened to him on a road trip recently, and he holds up so well. And I think the people call him preachy. I think they're so wrong. I actually think all his jokes are just good jokes. that aren't really preachy for the most part.

I mean, Kenniston had something kind of similar to that, too. I listened to Bill Hicks recently. He got me into comedy. I always loved him. I listened to him on a road trip recently, and he holds up so well. And I think the people call him preachy. I think they're so wrong. I actually think all his jokes are just good jokes. that aren't really preachy for the most part.

See, I don't think it was preachy.

See, I don't think it was preachy.

No. You know what I'm saying?

No. You know what I'm saying?

Well, it's also funny to see a crazy person on stage. Just someone who's like, you know, that's hilarious. Like, he is a funny character. And I do think he has great misdirects. Like, just great jokes that go beyond, like, what ideology he's, like, you know, professing. You mean Hicks? Hicks, yeah.

Well, it's also funny to see a crazy person on stage. Just someone who's like, you know, that's hilarious. Like, he is a funny character. And I do think he has great misdirects. Like, just great jokes that go beyond, like, what ideology he's, like, you know, professing. You mean Hicks? Hicks, yeah.

I used to do them for a while, though.

I used to do them for a while, though.

Well, the whole book depository is very realistic. Oswald isn't in it. He just had great... I just thought he had just kind of like Woody Allen. I know he loved Woody Allen. Great misdirects. And when you listen to it now, a lot of it... It's kind of what a lot of good comedy is, where you take a hot button issue, but then you just have a joke that's just kind of about something else.

Well, the whole book depository is very realistic. Oswald isn't in it. He just had great... I just thought he had just kind of like Woody Allen. I know he loved Woody Allen. Great misdirects. And when you listen to it now, a lot of it... It's kind of what a lot of good comedy is, where you take a hot button issue, but then you just have a joke that's just kind of about something else.

And that's really a lot of what his stuff is. It just feels kind of like modern comedy.

And that's really a lot of what his stuff is. It just feels kind of like modern comedy.

Him and Doug Standup definitely were my big influences. I loved you too. I loved your old, I loved your, I remember back when I listened to comedy albums. That was a different era, I guess, you know? Oh, wow, yeah. But I remember, I loved your bit about the tiger in the zoo, the monster in a box. Yeah.

Him and Doug Standup definitely were my big influences. I loved you too. I loved your old, I loved your, I remember back when I listened to comedy albums. That was a different era, I guess, you know? Oh, wow, yeah. But I remember, I loved your bit about the tiger in the zoo, the monster in a box. Yeah.

I still think about that every time I'm in a zoo because they always make the cage look like they could possibly jump out.

I still think about that every time I'm in a zoo because they always make the cage look like they could possibly jump out.

This cage is secure unless a tiger gets really mad. But when's that going to happen?

This cage is secure unless a tiger gets really mad. But when's that going to happen?

That's a high. Yeah.

That's a high. Yeah.

Well, one could survive, right?

Well, one could survive, right?

Oh, that's how fierce tigers are. I'm not going to fuck you up. I'm going to fuck your friend up.

Oh, that's how fierce tigers are. I'm not going to fuck you up. I'm going to fuck your friend up.

But I think about that bit every time at a zoo. They always make it look like the tiger can jump out. I'm like, why don't you just not make it look like that? Put a roof on the box.

But I think about that bit every time at a zoo. They always make it look like the tiger can jump out. I'm like, why don't you just not make it look like that? Put a roof on the box.

The monster on the box.

The monster on the box.

We don't need to make it look like it can jump out. We don't need.

We don't need to make it look like it can jump out. We don't need.

But it's a little different in the sense that their life outside of prison is pretty messed up. They're just getting killed.

But it's a little different in the sense that their life outside of prison is pretty messed up. They're just getting killed.

It is natural.

It is natural.

I guess the zoo is better for the prey. Yeah.

I guess the zoo is better for the prey. Yeah.

Well, it's like, yeah, if that's jail, like, freedom of them just getting chased by... Like, if you were in prison and outside of prison, you could just get eaten at any time, prison wouldn't look so bad.

Well, it's like, yeah, if that's jail, like, freedom of them just getting chased by... Like, if you were in prison and outside of prison, you could just get eaten at any time, prison wouldn't look so bad.

Exactly. And then they always put the tiger next to the giraffe or the lion just to fuck with them.

Exactly. And then they always put the tiger next to the giraffe or the lion just to fuck with them.

But I feel like when you do it, it's like you feel afterwards this awakeness that you only get with drugs. Like you never realize how not present you are until you take a cold plunge, and then you're like, oh, now I'm fucking in the world.

But I feel like when you do it, it's like you feel afterwards this awakeness that you only get with drugs. Like you never realize how not present you are until you take a cold plunge, and then you're like, oh, now I'm fucking in the world.

It's a little cruel. You imagine being a tiger and you're like, I can't believe this.

It's a little cruel. You imagine being a tiger and you're like, I can't believe this.

And then you forget because you have bad memories.

And then you forget because you have bad memories.

Fuck.

Fuck.

And it's always weird who gets the big space. At the Louisville Zoo, there's a wolf who just got fucking 12 acres, and then a snow leopard's in a little diorama with a cage on it. It's sick.

And it's always weird who gets the big space. At the Louisville Zoo, there's a wolf who just got fucking 12 acres, and then a snow leopard's in a little diorama with a cage on it. It's sick.

I saw one of those videos where the people in the car and one of them, I think it's a tiger, not a tiger, it's Africa, but it was a lion coming up to the car and they're looking at it and the lion just opened the door. Like it just put its paw on the door and opened it. They're like, ah!

I saw one of those videos where the people in the car and one of them, I think it's a tiger, not a tiger, it's Africa, but it was a lion coming up to the car and they're looking at it and the lion just opened the door. Like it just put its paw on the door and opened it. They're like, ah!

If he's just crazy that day. If he just decides to pop it with his paw, it's just going to burst. Well, that's what's crazy about the tiger who killed the kid. They were like... He can't get out unless he really wants to. It's like don't protect it from him really wanting to as well.

If he's just crazy that day. If he just decides to pop it with his paw, it's just going to burst. Well, that's what's crazy about the tiger who killed the kid. They were like... He can't get out unless he really wants to. It's like don't protect it from him really wanting to as well.

Yeah, which is a real rush.

Yeah, which is a real rush.

But it was more than three feet.

But it was more than three feet.

Maybe it's more than one of those.

Maybe it's more than one of those.

Oh, how weird. They're trying to say they were on drugs. Yeah, this says the guys were high and drunk.

Oh, how weird. They're trying to say they were on drugs. Yeah, this says the guys were high and drunk.

They're like, he doesn't, you know.

They're like, he doesn't, you know.

It looks like it's built to have that tiger jump off that top part onto the thing. It's like it's built so he can jump out.

It looks like it's built to have that tiger jump off that top part onto the thing. It's like it's built so he can jump out.

But wait, so if they're throwing pine... Is this the pine cones thing? Yeah. So it had to be below if they're throwing pine cones.

But wait, so if they're throwing pine... Is this the pine cones thing? Yeah. So it had to be below if they're throwing pine cones.

No?

No?

No, that's crazy.

No, that's crazy.

It was at the bottom of the thing. I can't imagine jumping out unless it was provoked. Yeah, but it shouldn't be able to jump out if it's provoked. Yeah, that's so crazy. You should have a backup plan for the tiger's emotions. Yeah.

It was at the bottom of the thing. I can't imagine jumping out unless it was provoked. Yeah, but it shouldn't be able to jump out if it's provoked. Yeah, that's so crazy. You should have a backup plan for the tiger's emotions. Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly.

This is a real, what are they wearing? What were they wearing? Yes. You know what I mean? That's exactly what it is. They were high. Or like when a black person gets killed and they try to vilify the black guy. They're like, he was on drugs. It's kind of like that. They're like, he was high. They should have provoked him.

This is a real, what are they wearing? What were they wearing? Yes. You know what I mean? That's exactly what it is. They were high. Or like when a black person gets killed and they try to vilify the black guy. They're like, he was on drugs. It's kind of like that. They're like, he was high. They should have provoked him.

Except for the time I did it. On your instruction. And fucked up. But... It was like jackass doing it at home and like losing, getting a nut ripped off. I did the, I saw you do it. It looked great. Put the ice in the bath and I was just cold for like two days straight. It was crazy.

Except for the time I did it. On your instruction. And fucked up. But... It was like jackass doing it at home and like losing, getting a nut ripped off. I did the, I saw you do it. It looked great. Put the ice in the bath and I was just cold for like two days straight. It was crazy.

It's like, you should have a cage where a tiger can't get out on any mood the tiger's in. Whether he's happy or mad. They should test every mood and see if it could jump out in any of the moods.

It's like, you should have a cage where a tiger can't get out on any mood the tiger's in. Whether he's happy or mad. They should test every mood and see if it could jump out in any of the moods.

Or the tiger was just clearly more annoyed by one of them. Like one of them had a more annoying face.

Or the tiger was just clearly more annoyed by one of them. Like one of them had a more annoying face.

Yeah, it's a little...

Yeah, it's a little...

A lot of times you see those water buffalo moving. They seem to completely forget about tigers or lions until they jump out. And then they're like, oh, shit. And then they all run away. Not that many lions eat water buffaloes.

A lot of times you see those water buffalo moving. They seem to completely forget about tigers or lions until they jump out. And then they're like, oh, shit. And then they all run away. Not that many lions eat water buffaloes.

But yeah, I agree that predators, it sucks for them in a zoo. But you never want to have a zoo that's just prey.

But yeah, I agree that predators, it sucks for them in a zoo. But you never want to have a zoo that's just prey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you seen the video, the best nature video, I mean it's the one about the water buffaloes walking and the lion comes and they like, it's like four lions and they never go after the big one. It's always like four of them after like a baby water beller in like a wheelchair.

Have you seen the video, the best nature video, I mean it's the one about the water buffaloes walking and the lion comes and they like, it's like four lions and they never go after the big one. It's always like four of them after like a baby water beller in like a wheelchair.

And they push him into the water and then a crocodile comes out of the water and grabs the water buffalo, the baby, and then the lions are like having a tug of war with like the crocodile. It's like insane. Have you seen that?

And they push him into the water and then a crocodile comes out of the water and grabs the water buffalo, the baby, and then the lions are like having a tug of war with like the crocodile. It's like insane. Have you seen that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I went a little crazy.

I went a little crazy.

So the female lions are normally smaller, but they are the hunter.

So the female lions are normally smaller, but they are the hunter.

She's fucking huge. Those arms are huge, yeah. Huge. Because they have to take out water buffalo. She's like a female bodybuilder.

She's fucking huge. Those arms are huge, yeah. Huge. Because they have to take out water buffalo. She's like a female bodybuilder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. They always have bugs on them and they don't notice. Fucking shit life. Have you done a safari? No. My buddy, Dan McCabe, my friend, he did it and he sent me a footage of a lion killing a prey. Right in front of him. Yeah, he just filmed it.

Yeah. They always have bugs on them and they don't notice. Fucking shit life. Have you done a safari? No. My buddy, Dan McCabe, my friend, he did it and he sent me a footage of a lion killing a prey. Right in front of him. Yeah, he just filmed it.

Well, I don't like, I used to do a lot of drugs. I don't really do drugs anymore. I mean, I'll do edibles and occasionally create them. So I guess I do some drugs. Yeah. And I'll do cocaine and heroin, but I'm pretty clean other than that. I mean, I eat processed foods and a lot of dessert, but fuck it. I mean, crystal meth, but that's it.

Well, I don't like, I used to do a lot of drugs. I don't really do drugs anymore. I mean, I'll do edibles and occasionally create them. So I guess I do some drugs. Yeah. And I'll do cocaine and heroin, but I'm pretty clean other than that. I mean, I eat processed foods and a lot of dessert, but fuck it. I mean, crystal meth, but that's it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

People love, it's like the zoo. They love to have it all open. They love to just like, you know, push it as far as they can.

People love, it's like the zoo. They love to have it all open. They love to just like, you know, push it as far as they can.

I like how you said Iron Man suit like it's a real thing. If I had one. Those Iron Man suits?

I like how you said Iron Man suit like it's a real thing. If I had one. Those Iron Man suits?

God, it didn't feel like it. You ever be at a club where the lights go off?

God, it didn't feel like it. You ever be at a club where the lights go off?

They're cracking down on our controversial takes on lines. It's YouTube, man.

They're cracking down on our controversial takes on lines. It's YouTube, man.

I've read the articles.

I've read the articles.

No, my best friend from here, Zach, he was here when they had to melt the snow or whatever. It just became like some crazy survival thing.

No, my best friend from here, Zach, he was here when they had to melt the snow or whatever. It just became like some crazy survival thing.

No, he was melting snow. Why was he melting? They had to melt snow for something. For what? I don't know. It was like that movie Alive. They needed water. They melted snow for water? It was for water, yeah. Could be.

No, he was melting snow. Why was he melting? They had to melt snow for something. For what? I don't know. It was like that movie Alive. They needed water. They melted snow for water? It was for water, yeah. Could be.

Yeah, that makes sense. It was crazy, yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense. It was crazy, yeah.

It's easy.

It's easy.

But I don't do the big drugs, so the cold plunge is really the closest to get to that high.

But I don't do the big drugs, so the cold plunge is really the closest to get to that high.

Everything is back online. Anytime there's snow, it all shuts down for two weeks. They don't have plows.

Everything is back online. Anytime there's snow, it all shuts down for two weeks. They don't have plows.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess it just hasn't happened enough for them to, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess it just hasn't happened enough for them to, you know. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I know. Louisville. I'm from Louisville, Kentucky. It's kind of like that, too. Whenever it snowed, it shut down the whole city.

Yeah. No, I know. Louisville. I'm from Louisville, Kentucky. It's kind of like that, too. Whenever it snowed, it shut down the whole city.

Closing school was such a fun experience.

Closing school was such a fun experience.

Right, right, right.

Right, right, right.

Go to school, bitch. Was there anything better than a snow day? It was so exciting. It was amazing.

Go to school, bitch. Was there anything better than a snow day? It was so exciting. It was amazing.

Of course. And then you'd be watching the TV waiting for your county to be listed as the one that could be. And you're like, fuck.

Of course. And then you'd be watching the TV waiting for your county to be listed as the one that could be. And you're like, fuck.

We wake them up at, like, farmer times. Like, we wake them up. I used to get up at, like, 5 in the morning like I was a farmer. Yeah. And your parents would just go back to bed. They're like, we don't go. They just get up and then they go back to sleep. I'd be on the bus at like five in the morning. Horseshit.

We wake them up at, like, farmer times. Like, we wake them up. I used to get up at, like, 5 in the morning like I was a farmer. Yeah. And your parents would just go back to bed. They're like, we don't go. They just get up and then they go back to sleep. I'd be on the bus at like five in the morning. Horseshit.

I know. But part of it is probably going through the pain, right? Yeah.

I know. But part of it is probably going through the pain, right? Yeah.

And then they say we have ADD.

And then they say we have ADD.

So I got addicted and I ended up.

So I got addicted and I ended up.

I think probably like 30 milligrams. Right away? Yeah.

I think probably like 30 milligrams. Right away? Yeah.

I think. Maybe it was a little less.

I think. Maybe it was a little less.

Yeah.

Yeah.

First recreationally. Then I got the prescription.

First recreationally. Then I got the prescription.

Yes. But then I started taking more and having to buy them off the street. Phew. And then at one point I couldn't get any, and this kid I knew, this kind of bad seed, I asked him if he had any. He had something he said his uncle made. It was like a synthetic drug. Turned out to be bath salts.

Yes. But then I started taking more and having to buy them off the street. Phew. And then at one point I couldn't get any, and this kid I knew, this kind of bad seed, I asked him if he had any. He had something he said his uncle made. It was like a synthetic drug. Turned out to be bath salts.

greet her at a H&R Block, you know, the tax place. And I just, like, basically had this horrible panic meltdown. Like, it kicked in, and I just thought I was about to die. And when I called my twin sister, I freaked her out. I was like, I think I'm about to die. Goodbye. Then I hung up. And then she called back, and she was like, call the ambulance. They called the ambulance.

greet her at a H&R Block, you know, the tax place. And I just, like, basically had this horrible panic meltdown. Like, it kicked in, and I just thought I was about to die. And when I called my twin sister, I freaked her out. I was like, I think I'm about to die. Goodbye. Then I hung up. And then she called back, and she was like, call the ambulance. They called the ambulance.

My heart rate was at, like, 100 and, like, I don't know. Probably what yours is when you're exercising. But it was fast for me. Probably was normal. There was like 190. Oh my God. And yeah, I totally. That's redlining. It was crazy. Yeah, I almost died. And then I ended up going to rehab for Adderall, which is kind of embarrassing. How hard was it to kick?

My heart rate was at, like, 100 and, like, I don't know. Probably what yours is when you're exercising. But it was fast for me. Probably was normal. There was like 190. Oh my God. And yeah, I totally. That's redlining. It was crazy. Yeah, I almost died. And then I ended up going to rehab for Adderall, which is kind of embarrassing. How hard was it to kick?

You know, I weaned off, which was, if you wean off, I think it's okay. Cold turkey is not for me.

You know, I weaned off, which was, if you wean off, I think it's okay. Cold turkey is not for me.

You know, it was just 80 one week.

You know, it was just 80 one week.

I think something like that, yeah.

I think something like that, yeah.

No, no, I was functional. I was annoying. That was the thing. I was annoying.

No, no, I was functional. I was annoying. That was the thing. I was annoying.

Yeah, I got really annoying. And it ended up, like, people were just, that's the thing. People think drugs will, you know, I'm not, like, a crazy person, but I just annoyed everyone. Right. And so the intervention was more like, you're really annoying, you talk nonstop. Yeah. And then I got off and it was kind of the same. It wasn't that different. I'm like, no, that's just me.

Yeah, I got really annoying. And it ended up, like, people were just, that's the thing. People think drugs will, you know, I'm not, like, a crazy person, but I just annoyed everyone. Right. And so the intervention was more like, you're really annoying, you talk nonstop. Yeah. And then I got off and it was kind of the same. It wasn't that different. I'm like, no, that's just me.

But I miss it. I mean, I could never do it again. But I miss it. It was great. It was my favorite drug. Because I have, like everyone, I have low self-esteem. And when he did it, it made me just right. I just was so productive on it.

But I miss it. I mean, I could never do it again. But I miss it. It was great. It was my favorite drug. Because I have, like everyone, I have low self-esteem. And when he did it, it made me just right. I just was so productive on it.

Yeah, because when I write, I mean, I've gotten better at it now over the years, but when I write, you have that voice telling you it's shit and you can't move forward. And the Adderall, this was before I was doing stand-up a little, but writing screenplays and stuff, and the Adderall gave me the confidence to just fucking plow through it. It wasn't all good, but some of it was good.

Yeah, because when I write, I mean, I've gotten better at it now over the years, but when I write, you have that voice telling you it's shit and you can't move forward. And the Adderall, this was before I was doing stand-up a little, but writing screenplays and stuff, and the Adderall gave me the confidence to just fucking plow through it. It wasn't all good, but some of it was good.

Pervitin.

Pervitin.

Oh, man. That's crazy.

Oh, man. That's crazy.

He was really focused on that Jew hating. That speed really focused.

He was really focused on that Jew hating. That speed really focused.

So you can dive right into the fight. Call of Duty Black Ops 6 is out October 25th. So dive in because I've got your back. Remember, I replace you, Blade. It's that simple.

So you can dive right into the fight. Call of Duty Black Ops 6 is out October 25th. So dive in because I've got your back. Remember, I replace you, Blade. It's that simple.

So an asshole.

So an asshole.

But here's what I don't get. I've done oxycodone, and when I'm on it, I'm very loving. I love everyone. He was on it, and he was still hating it. He should have been like, I love the juice. The oxycodone should have made him more lovey-dovey.

But here's what I don't get. I've done oxycodone, and when I'm on it, I'm very loving. I love everyone. He was on it, and he was still hating it. He should have been like, I love the juice. The oxycodone should have made him more lovey-dovey.

And that makes sense. That makes sense. You're a meth, you're like, we got a problem. Yeah. I'm focused. I'm going to commit to it. But the Oxy, it's like when Rush Limbaugh, you found out he was on Oxy, he was always so angry. Right, right, right. And I feel like if I was on Oxy, I'd be like, everything's going to work out.

And that makes sense. That makes sense. You're a meth, you're like, we got a problem. Yeah. I'm focused. I'm going to commit to it. But the Oxy, it's like when Rush Limbaugh, you found out he was on Oxy, he was always so angry. Right, right, right. And I feel like if I was on Oxy, I'd be like, everything's going to work out.

Rush?

Rush?

To have all that hate on the painkillers, I just don't get. When I'm on painkillers, I love my enemies. I think it's because you're a nice guy. I like that spin.

To have all that hate on the painkillers, I just don't get. When I'm on painkillers, I love my enemies. I think it's because you're a nice guy. I like that spin.

Right.

Right.

No, that's a good point. What I used to drink, I would tell people I love them. Now I'm sober, I don't tell anyone I love them. Now I'm sober. I'm more sober.

No, that's a good point. What I used to drink, I would tell people I love them. Now I'm sober, I don't tell anyone I love them. Now I'm sober. I'm more sober.

So my girlfriend, speaking of drugs, she's on like serious blood thinners because she just had a stroke. Oh, Jesus Christ. How old is she? Like a couple weeks ago. She's 85. Wow. No, so when we started dating two and a half years ago, she was about to get open heart surgery. Yeah, like she told me that on our first date. Oh my God. Yeah. Is this like something she was born with?

So my girlfriend, speaking of drugs, she's on like serious blood thinners because she just had a stroke. Oh, Jesus Christ. How old is she? Like a couple weeks ago. She's 85. Wow. No, so when we started dating two and a half years ago, she was about to get open heart surgery. Yeah, like she told me that on our first date. Oh my God. Yeah. Is this like something she was born with?

It was a congenitive heart thing, mitral valve. She had a mitral valve leak. Oh Jesus. And she found it out. She's 37. And so four months into our dating, she got open heart surgery. Oh my God.

It was a congenitive heart thing, mitral valve. She had a mitral valve leak. Oh Jesus. And she found it out. She's 37. And so four months into our dating, she got open heart surgery. Oh my God.

Yeah, and then everything was going well, and then like, this was like this month, like, I don't even, maybe a month ago, I'm going to see a screening of my friend's movie, this really great comic, Isabella Hagen had funded her own movie, I'm going to see it, we're going to meet, and she calls me and she says her, she can't see out of her left eye, she's on the subway.

Yeah, and then everything was going well, and then like, this was like this month, like, I don't even, maybe a month ago, I'm going to see a screening of my friend's movie, this really great comic, Isabella Hagen had funded her own movie, I'm going to see it, we're going to meet, and she calls me and she says her, she can't see out of her left eye, she's on the subway.

No, Forrest Gump was running.

No, Forrest Gump was running.

And we had to, like, call an ambulance and, like, rush to the hospital. And, like, the crazy thing is the ambulance did not take us right away. Like, we got in there and they, like, had to make her fill out her insurance.

And we had to, like, call an ambulance and, like, rush to the hospital. And, like, the crazy thing is the ambulance did not take us right away. Like, we got in there and they, like, had to make her fill out her insurance.

For, like, 20 minutes. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. With one eye. With one eye. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. I thought an ambulance just goes.

For, like, 20 minutes. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. With one eye. With one eye. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. I thought an ambulance just goes.

They were, like, getting the insurance. She's, like, dying. They're, like, what's your group member ID number? Oh, my God. And then they finally went and there was no siren. We just had the ambulance without the siren. Which was pointless. So ambulance and traffic. Ambulance and traffic. We get to this ER type place. They think she's having a stroke. And we had a person on TV.

They were, like, getting the insurance. She's, like, dying. They're, like, what's your group member ID number? Oh, my God. And then they finally went and there was no siren. We just had the ambulance without the siren. Which was pointless. So ambulance and traffic. Ambulance and traffic. We get to this ER type place. They think she's having a stroke. And we had a person on TV.

It was like Black Mirror. They got some neurologist who was on vacation. They brought the TV in, like a TV, and she was on the video. The camera was moving around the room looking at people. It was so bizarre. And she said if it's a stroke, she had to go on really intense blood thinners for the day. And they were so intense that if she even bumped her head, she could get bleeding in the brain.

It was like Black Mirror. They got some neurologist who was on vacation. They brought the TV in, like a TV, and she was on the video. The camera was moving around the room looking at people. It was so bizarre. And she said if it's a stroke, she had to go on really intense blood thinners for the day. And they were so intense that if she even bumped her head, she could get bleeding in the brain.

So they had to, like, observe her for, like, a day on these really... Like, she couldn't go anywhere because she bled so easily on these blood thinners.

So they had to, like, observe her for, like, a day on these really... Like, she couldn't go anywhere because she bled so easily on these blood thinners.

Yeah, so they gave it to her. She started bleeding out of her mouth right away. She had, like, a cut in her mouth. She was, like, smiling, like, blood coming out of her mouth. Oh, my God. And then... And then the craziest part is, so they had to take her to the ICU to observe her. But we weren't at an ICU. We were at like an ER that didn't have people stay the night.

Yeah, so they gave it to her. She started bleeding out of her mouth right away. She had, like, a cut in her mouth. She was, like, smiling, like, blood coming out of her mouth. Oh, my God. And then... And then the craziest part is, so they had to take her to the ICU to observe her. But we weren't at an ICU. We were at like an ER that didn't have people stay the night.

So we had to, even though she was on these blood thinners, because you had to go on them for four hours, they had to put her in an ambulance in the rain. And we had to drive to a place where she couldn't move for a day because she could get, if she got hit. Her head was like on the glass. Oh my God. It was insane. Yeah, it was insane.

So we had to, even though she was on these blood thinners, because you had to go on them for four hours, they had to put her in an ambulance in the rain. And we had to drive to a place where she couldn't move for a day because she could get, if she got hit. Her head was like on the glass. Oh my God. It was insane. Yeah, it was insane.

I know. Yeah, they didn't seem to be that urgent.

I know. Yeah, they didn't seem to be that urgent.

For us, it was like a huge emergency. But for them, it's just a stroke. Her head's intact, whatever. Oh, my God.

For us, it was like a huge emergency. But for them, it's just a stroke. Her head's intact, whatever. Oh, my God.

She lost. She can't get it back. She has like a blind spot already.

She lost. She can't get it back. She has like a blind spot already.

She's gotten used to seeing out both eyes. But when she closes one eye, it's like your forehead would be a little whited out. Oh, wow. And I don't think it's going to come back. She's doing great. She's handled it very well. But yeah, it was sad. We left the hospital after a couple days. And the saddest part is we went outside and there was a sunrise or a sunset. And she was like, I can't.

She's gotten used to seeing out both eyes. But when she closes one eye, it's like your forehead would be a little whited out. Oh, wow. And I don't think it's going to come back. She's doing great. She's handled it very well. But yeah, it was sad. We left the hospital after a couple days. And the saddest part is we went outside and there was a sunrise or a sunset. And she was like, I can't.

I can run for about seven minutes, and I'm probably lying about that. I'm definitely lying. I can run for about four minutes before I have to stop.

I can run for about seven minutes, and I'm probably lying about that. I'm definitely lying. I can run for about four minutes before I have to stop.

It doesn't look very pretty to me. Oh, no. Yeah, it was awful. But she's gotten a lot. I think she can see a lot. She's more adjusted to it. But I feel so old. I'm like, my girlfriend had a stroke. I got a pastrami sandwich for her there, and I felt like just an old Jewish couple just eating a pastrami sandwich.

It doesn't look very pretty to me. Oh, no. Yeah, it was awful. But she's gotten a lot. I think she can see a lot. She's more adjusted to it. But I feel so old. I'm like, my girlfriend had a stroke. I got a pastrami sandwich for her there, and I felt like just an old Jewish couple just eating a pastrami sandwich.

After one of them had a stroke. Like, here, take your pastrami. Oof. Yeah.

After one of them had a stroke. Like, here, take your pastrami. Oof. Yeah.

But, you know, I never thought in a million years I'd be the healthier one in the relationship. Yeah.

But, you know, I never thought in a million years I'd be the healthier one in the relationship. Yeah.

It's nice. It evens out. Like, when she had open heart surgery, we were both, I make a bit about this, but we were both kind of equally out of breath after that. We'd go up subway stairs, and we'd both just be, like, fancy.

It's nice. It evens out. Like, when she had open heart surgery, we were both, I make a bit about this, but we were both kind of equally out of breath after that. We'd go up subway stairs, and we'd both just be, like, fancy.

Yeah. But she's doing great, and she handles it very well. She's, like, a better person than me, which is kind of annoying. So even in the hospital, she was, like, super worried. She's a therapist. She was super worried about, like, her patients while she was having the stroke.

Yeah. But she's doing great, and she handles it very well. She's, like, a better person than me, which is kind of annoying. So even in the hospital, she was, like, super worried. She's a therapist. She was super worried about, like, her patients while she was having the stroke.

It's kind of annoying when people are like that good. Yeah. Yeah.

It's kind of annoying when people are like that good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not yet.

Not yet.

Oh, yeah, and she sees people like, it's, you know, she helps, she's a social worker therapist, so she helps people who have, like, you know, typically can't afford, like, so it's not white people problem therapy. Right. It's like, you know, safety planning. Yeah. You know, how do I, you know, that kind of stuff. Right. It's not like, I feel unhappy.

Oh, yeah, and she sees people like, it's, you know, she helps, she's a social worker therapist, so she helps people who have, like, you know, typically can't afford, like, so it's not white people problem therapy. Right. It's like, you know, safety planning. Yeah. You know, how do I, you know, that kind of stuff. Right. It's not like, I feel unhappy.

It's like, your husband beat you, how do we get you out of the house kind of stuff, you know? Yeah, she has an intense life. But it's nice to date because to me the hardest part about dating someone is their job. They have to tell boring work stories and you just have to deal with it.

It's like, your husband beat you, how do we get you out of the house kind of stuff, you know? Yeah, she has an intense life. But it's nice to date because to me the hardest part about dating someone is their job. They have to tell boring work stories and you just have to deal with it.

But her stories are never boring. They're always like insane shit, you know?

But her stories are never boring. They're always like insane shit, you know?

I mean, it's better than pretending you care about like her friend being mad at her at the, you know, whatever.

I mean, it's better than pretending you care about like her friend being mad at her at the, you know, whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like heavy.

I like heavy.

I think so. Even when she told me she had about to get open heart surgery. I mean, I like to get excited, but I was like, I'm not I don't I don't like shy away from that stuff.

I think so. Even when she told me she had about to get open heart surgery. I mean, I like to get excited, but I was like, I'm not I don't I don't like shy away from that stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it feels like we've been married for like 25 years now. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it feels like we've been married for like 25 years now. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. React to it in the hospital when she had it. Have you ever been to the hospital and someone gets surgery? There's a giant terminal thing that shows everyone's names, and it says if they're in the middle of surgery or not. And then sometimes it'll just flash canceled. And you're like, did that person die? But I think they just signed up. But yeah, it's intense.

Yeah. React to it in the hospital when she had it. Have you ever been to the hospital and someone gets surgery? There's a giant terminal thing that shows everyone's names, and it says if they're in the middle of surgery or not. And then sometimes it'll just flash canceled. And you're like, did that person die? But I think they just signed up. But yeah, it's intense.

Yeah, it's crazy how much more in shape other people are.

Yeah, it's crazy how much more in shape other people are.

But I got a couple good bits out of it, and that's what's important.

But I got a couple good bits out of it, and that's what's important.

No. No. Maybe she might have been disturbed a little by the speed. Well, it's tough. I was in a rut a little. Sometimes you're in a rut with comedy, and then something crazy happens. It just starts coming. You know what I mean?

No. No. Maybe she might have been disturbed a little by the speed. Well, it's tough. I was in a rut a little. Sometimes you're in a rut with comedy, and then something crazy happens. It just starts coming. You know what I mean?

We get in that argument a lot. Which I get. I mean, she's not a comedian. I just want to be personal.

We get in that argument a lot. Which I get. I mean, she's not a comedian. I just want to be personal.

I want to bravely disclose all her personal... I want to bravely disclose all of it.

I want to bravely disclose all her personal... I want to bravely disclose all of it.

Yeah, I'm very brave for bringing this stuff up about you.

Yeah, I'm very brave for bringing this stuff up about you.

But yeah, no, but she's, yeah, she's amazing. And yeah, it's my first like serious relationship and I'm already in like, like serious and I'm already, I went from like,

But yeah, no, but she's, yeah, she's amazing. And yeah, it's my first like serious relationship and I'm already in like, like serious and I'm already, I went from like,

Like the runners are people who can do the sprints. They can do something for like a really long time that I can do for maybe like two seconds.

Like the runners are people who can do the sprints. They can do something for like a really long time that I can do for maybe like two seconds.

Like, moving in with the person.

Like, moving in with the person.

I know, I'm like 40.

I know, I'm like 40.

Especially when I moved to New York. I got into the cellar, and at that point, it's really hard to date people because you get a lot of spots and you can't see anyone.

Especially when I moved to New York. I got into the cellar, and at that point, it's really hard to date people because you get a lot of spots and you can't see anyone.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

But I am working with my therapist about realizing that... You know, I always for years thought the person you're in a relationship with is somehow like an enemy of your artistic process, you know? Like they're there to stifle you. It's an unhealthy way of thinking and I've tried to work about it.

But I am working with my therapist about realizing that... You know, I always for years thought the person you're in a relationship with is somehow like an enemy of your artistic process, you know? Like they're there to stifle you. It's an unhealthy way of thinking and I've tried to work about it.

I think my mom, though she's great, was pretty overbearing, like a Jewish mother. And I think she was so always overbearing, always wanting to know what was going on, that I think my response was just go in my room and shut people out. And so I think I'm afraid. You know, she's a Jewish mother, so she just tells me everything to do at all times. Right.

I think my mom, though she's great, was pretty overbearing, like a Jewish mother. And I think she was so always overbearing, always wanting to know what was going on, that I think my response was just go in my room and shut people out. And so I think I'm afraid. You know, she's a Jewish mother, so she just tells me everything to do at all times. Right.

So I think I've associated intimacy with someone. I came up with this. My therapist brought this up. I'm not smart enough to realize this. But I think I associate intimacy with someone trying to stifle me or smother me, you know? Yeah. As opposed to, like, something where you're trying to, you know, be in something...

So I think I've associated intimacy with someone. I came up with this. My therapist brought this up. I'm not smart enough to realize this. But I think I associate intimacy with someone trying to stifle me or smother me, you know? Yeah. As opposed to, like, something where you're trying to, you know, be in something...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The natural runner's high. What do you call it? Ephedrine? Not ephedrine. Euphoria? What is it called? Whatever that thing is.

The natural runner's high. What do you call it? Ephedrine? Not ephedrine. Euphoria? What is it called? Whatever that thing is.

And that's a bad relationship because she doesn't understand him. Or like she thinks like... My thing is my girlfriend doesn't think that way. And I sometimes find myself projecting that onto her.

And that's a bad relationship because she doesn't understand him. Or like she thinks like... My thing is my girlfriend doesn't think that way. And I sometimes find myself projecting that onto her.

Because I project like... She'll just be like, I'm not comfortable with you doing this joke. And I'm like, quit trying to silence me.

Because I project like... She'll just be like, I'm not comfortable with you doing this joke. And I'm like, quit trying to silence me.

Of course. And like, yeah, I mean, you have to like, I don't know. I mean, to me, it's not about making it. If you love something, do it and do it if even if you're broke. I mean, to me, it's I don't believe in like. I don't think of things as having a safety plan. David Mamet, I think it was him who said that. Don't have a safety plan because you're falling back on it.

Of course. And like, yeah, I mean, you have to like, I don't know. I mean, to me, it's not about making it. If you love something, do it and do it if even if you're broke. I mean, to me, it's I don't believe in like. I don't think of things as having a safety plan. David Mamet, I think it was him who said that. Don't have a safety plan because you're falling back on it.

Don't have a net.

Don't have a net.

I think you just have to, if you love something. For me, I love comedy. I love making movies. I'm focused on that.

I think you just have to, if you love something. For me, I love comedy. I love making movies. I'm focused on that.

Oh, 100%. Right. That's what I'm saying. But the question is, are you one of those people, right?

Oh, 100%. Right. That's what I'm saying. But the question is, are you one of those people, right?

Yeah, it's definitely good, especially if you have a kid. I feel like it's definitely good to already have a career of some – like I have a career. It's not like amazing, but it's a career. Yeah. And that helps. It's like I am making money. Yes. But it's really tough if you're like don't make money and then you get in a relationship, especially if you have a kid.

Yeah, it's definitely good, especially if you have a kid. I feel like it's definitely good to already have a career of some – like I have a career. It's not like amazing, but it's a career. Yeah. And that helps. It's like I am making money. Yes. But it's really tough if you're like don't make money and then you get in a relationship, especially if you have a kid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're fucked because then you're also selfish now. You're selfish if you're taking spots when you should be getting. So that's tough.

You're fucked because then you're also selfish now. You're selfish if you're taking spots when you should be getting. So that's tough.

That's true. But how was it hard when you first had a kid?

That's true. But how was it hard when you first had a kid?

That's got to be tough doing comedy.

That's got to be tough doing comedy.

Yeah, exactly. You want to like if you're going to have a kid, I think we talked about this possibility at some point. It's like you want to at least make enough money in your career that if you had a kid, you'd actually just have to work harder at your career as opposed to getting another career. Right. Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. You want to like if you're going to have a kid, I think we talked about this possibility at some point. It's like you want to at least make enough money in your career that if you had a kid, you'd actually just have to work harder at your career as opposed to getting another career. Right. Exactly.

I know.

I know.

Right, right, right. You know? Yeah, you have to work hard at it. We were talking about if we had a kid. I was talking to her. I was like, well, on the weekend I'd be on the road, but during the day, during the week, I'd babysit the kid. And she's like, it doesn't feel like you're very serious if you're referring to it as babysitting. Babysitting. Your own kid.

Right, right, right. You know? Yeah, you have to work hard at it. We were talking about if we had a kid. I was talking to her. I was like, well, on the weekend I'd be on the road, but during the day, during the week, I'd babysit the kid. And she's like, it doesn't feel like you're very serious if you're referring to it as babysitting. Babysitting. Your own kid.

I babysat. Oh, whose kid's mine? What? Doesn't seem like you're really committed to it. No, I babysit the kid.

I babysat. Oh, whose kid's mine? What? Doesn't seem like you're really committed to it. No, I babysit the kid.

Just pay me $10 and a half. I did say that.

Just pay me $10 and a half. I did say that.

But yeah, having a kid is scary, but I think it's good.

But yeah, having a kid is scary, but I think it's good.

Right. You definitely can't do it to save a relationship. Oh, my God.

Right. You definitely can't do it to save a relationship. Oh, my God.

No one's like, we're about to break up.

No one's like, we're about to break up.

But you have to do it for a while. You have to run for like, I think, 45 minutes.

But you have to do it for a while. You have to run for like, I think, 45 minutes.

And you love it no matter if the kid is, like, telling a boring story. Like, it goes beyond. Like, with your friends, you're like, every story's got to be entertaining, you know? But with people you love, it's like you just love them.

And you love it no matter if the kid is, like, telling a boring story. Like, it goes beyond. Like, with your friends, you're like, every story's got to be entertaining, you know? But with people you love, it's like you just love them.

Yeah, all my siblings have kids. They're a lot of fun. It's time to do it if you're 40. I know. I keep on acting like I'm rushing into things. I'm like, I don't know. It seems so quick. And then I'm like, wait, I'm 40 years old.

Yeah, all my siblings have kids. They're a lot of fun. It's time to do it if you're 40. I know. I keep on acting like I'm rushing into things. I'm like, I don't know. It seems so quick. And then I'm like, wait, I'm 40 years old.

I always think I'm rushing into things when it's actually like the last chance. Or at least the last chance. We will. It's going to be a little on hold because of the stroke. Yeah, I would say that's probably a good move. Jesus Christ. Well, she's on blood thinners now. She's like a hemophiliac. How long does she have to stay on those for? What? How long does she have to stay on those?

I always think I'm rushing into things when it's actually like the last chance. Or at least the last chance. We will. It's going to be a little on hold because of the stroke. Yeah, I would say that's probably a good move. Jesus Christ. Well, she's on blood thinners now. She's like a hemophiliac. How long does she have to stay on those for? What? How long does she have to stay on those?

But it's side effects. Yeah. No, I mean, when you don't do drugs, that's the only way. Yeah. My dad plays tennis every day for like five hours. That's a good thing. Yeah. That's a great thing. He's obsessed. All he does is play tennis or watch tennis. Really? Just a tennis freak. He's a tennis freak. And he's retired, so he just plays tennis all day? Just plays tennis.

But it's side effects. Yeah. No, I mean, when you don't do drugs, that's the only way. Yeah. My dad plays tennis every day for like five hours. That's a good thing. Yeah. That's a great thing. He's obsessed. All he does is play tennis or watch tennis. Really? Just a tennis freak. He's a tennis freak. And he's retired, so he just plays tennis all day? Just plays tennis.

Until they figure out what kind of caused it.

Until they figure out what kind of caused it.

Was he?

Was he?

Yeah, that's how she was. I mean, she's not like that now, but in the ICU, she's basically hemophiliac, yeah. And so she has to stay on these for how long? I think they're trying to find out exactly. They still don't know what caused the stroke. Wow. They assume it's something to do with a heart surgery.

Yeah, that's how she was. I mean, she's not like that now, but in the ICU, she's basically hemophiliac, yeah. And so she has to stay on these for how long? I think they're trying to find out exactly. They still don't know what caused the stroke. Wow. They assume it's something to do with a heart surgery.

Either that or God hates her and just giving her a bunch of shit.

Either that or God hates her and just giving her a bunch of shit.

But I think it's, yeah, I think they'll find out. But yeah, hopefully not. I mean, I think she'd have to get off if we had a kid.

But I think it's, yeah, I think they'll find out. But yeah, hopefully not. I mean, I think she'd have to get off if we had a kid.

But yeah, I have like six nephews and nieces.

But yeah, I have like six nephews and nieces.

A little touch, but also- A touch of the fever. But also not having a kid. I don't know. They both have good points and bad points. For sure.

A little touch, but also- A touch of the fever. But also not having a kid. I don't know. They both have good points and bad points. For sure.

Well, the people who killed their kids probably shouldn't have had kids. Everybody should have it.

Well, the people who killed their kids probably shouldn't have had kids. Everybody should have it.

But that person shouldn't have had a kid.

But that person shouldn't have had a kid.

Well, that's why the other bullshit thing, the people who act like kids and make you a better person, that's not true. Not everybody. Yeah.

Well, that's why the other bullshit thing, the people who act like kids and make you a better person, that's not true. Not everybody. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Exactly. It intensifies. It's actually who you are, but now there's much bigger moral consequences. Right. You can be kind of a dick, but it's not that big of a deal. But then if you have a kid and you're still a dick, now you're like a bad person.

Exactly. It intensifies. It's actually who you are, but now there's much bigger moral consequences. Right. You can be kind of a dick, but it's not that big of a deal. But then if you have a kid and you're still a dick, now you're like a bad person.

Where before you were just kind of a dick.

Where before you were just kind of a dick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We'll be right back. They're like the real fucking hippies on all these drugs. As long as it's prescribed by a doctor, it's not a drug. That's how I go by it.

We'll be right back. They're like the real fucking hippies on all these drugs. As long as it's prescribed by a doctor, it's not a drug. That's how I go by it.

It is so funny to be like that. I have a real problem. We'll just prescribe it for you.

It is so funny to be like that. I have a real problem. We'll just prescribe it for you.

He has one of those rackets where you ... He's a real nerd about where you plug it into the computer and look at the data. Yeah.

He has one of those rackets where you ... He's a real nerd about where you plug it into the computer and look at the data. Yeah.

It was hard to, like, go back to writing without it.

It was hard to, like, go back to writing without it.

It's tough, but, you know, I had to do it and... I can't go back on it now because I would chain smoke on it and I quit smoking. And honestly, that's more worrisome. Like if I took an Adderall, I would just chain smoke again.

It's tough, but, you know, I had to do it and... I can't go back on it now because I would chain smoke on it and I quit smoking. And honestly, that's more worrisome. Like if I took an Adderall, I would just chain smoke again.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wait. What do you mean?

Oh, wait. What do you mean?

All right, let's do it.

All right, let's do it.

Lloyd Bridges from Airplane. Bad day to get back on Adderall.

Lloyd Bridges from Airplane. Bad day to get back on Adderall.

Have you never done it?

Have you never done it?

So you're not – because you do drugs.

So you're not – because you do drugs.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he's either playing tennis or doing that or just watching tennis on TV. Wow.

And then he's either playing tennis or doing that or just watching tennis on TV. Wow.

You're not supposed to use your own supply. That's like a biggie. Well, he didn't follow the rules. He's not following the Coke protocol.

You're not supposed to use your own supply. That's like a biggie. Well, he didn't follow the rules. He's not following the Coke protocol.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I did a lot of coke back in the day, too. I mean, you see a lot of sunrises, which is pretty. That's a good way to look at it. I've seen way more sunrises now than I would have if I didn't do cocaine.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I did a lot of coke back in the day, too. I mean, you see a lot of sunrises, which is pretty. That's a good way to look at it. I've seen way more sunrises now than I would have if I didn't do cocaine.

Yeah, but as a kid, I didn't appreciate it. When you're a kid, you're never like, oh, look at a beautiful sunrise.

Yeah, but as a kid, I didn't appreciate it. When you're a kid, you're never like, oh, look at a beautiful sunrise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Very good point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Very good point.

That sounds like a profound line in a song. Yeah. Like a Dylan line.

That sounds like a profound line in a song. Yeah. Like a Dylan line.

Oh, yeah? It is. It's my favorite thing. It's a sacred time. I have this comedian friend of mine, great comic, Ben Moore. He had an awful sleeping schedule where he would literally go to bed at 9 in the morning. and woke up at 5 p.m. and just started his day when everyone was ending their day. Was he a comic? Yeah, he was a comic. That's comic life. Yeah, that's a little too much. That's a lot.

Oh, yeah? It is. It's my favorite thing. It's a sacred time. I have this comedian friend of mine, great comic, Ben Moore. He had an awful sleeping schedule where he would literally go to bed at 9 in the morning. and woke up at 5 p.m. and just started his day when everyone was ending their day. Was he a comic? Yeah, he was a comic. That's comic life. Yeah, that's a little too much. That's a lot.

You need sunlight.

You need sunlight.

But I like sunlight. Yeah, I like to, you know.

But I like sunlight. Yeah, I like to, you know.

Not on cocaine. It's very impressive. Just high on life?

Not on cocaine. It's very impressive. Just high on life?

Oh, you're a big pool guy?

Oh, you're a big pool guy?

I'm impressed that you could do that without cocaine. I feel like that's very impressive.

I'm impressed that you could do that without cocaine. I feel like that's very impressive.

Chess is my favorite sport. Really? I'm only out of breath after the first 45. Do you play chess? I used to play chess. I used to be in the chess club. Oh, no kidding. I don't play any more as well, but I love chess, yeah.

Chess is my favorite sport. Really? I'm only out of breath after the first 45. Do you play chess? I used to play chess. I used to be in the chess club. Oh, no kidding. I don't play any more as well, but I love chess, yeah.

That's great. They always talk about the moment where you start making it and you can quit your day job. Yeah. That never happened. I would have day jobs and make a little money on comedy, and then the day job would want to fire me because I wasn't there enough. But I'd like, no, I need this job. I don't make enough in comedy. And then they'd fire me. I'd be forced to focus on comedy.

That's great. They always talk about the moment where you start making it and you can quit your day job. Yeah. That never happened. I would have day jobs and make a little money on comedy, and then the day job would want to fire me because I wasn't there enough. But I'd like, no, I need this job. I don't make enough in comedy. And then they'd fire me. I'd be forced to focus on comedy.

I think like 11. Oh, wow.

I think like 11. Oh, wow.

No, no. I only had like shitty like kind of like part-time job. Right. I think around not – I started opening for Kathleen Madigan on the road and that's when I first started having money. And she was great and it was great working with her. She's hilarious. She's amazing. I really learned a lot from her and she's one of the best people.

No, no. I only had like shitty like kind of like part-time job. Right. I think around not – I started opening for Kathleen Madigan on the road and that's when I first started having money. And she was great and it was great working with her. She's hilarious. She's amazing. I really learned a lot from her and she's one of the best people.

And that's where I first kind of had money, where I could actually move to New York. I think I had part-time jobs, and then I was just living with my parents and doing comedy on the road, going to the loony bins and shit, taking greyhounds. I took greyhounds everywhere. Nice. I paid my dues.

And that's where I first kind of had money, where I could actually move to New York. I think I had part-time jobs, and then I was just living with my parents and doing comedy on the road, going to the loony bins and shit, taking greyhounds. I took greyhounds everywhere. Nice. I paid my dues.

I would take an 18-hour greyhound.

I would take an 18-hour greyhound.

It's insane.

It's insane.

It's like the DMV on wheels. It's just the most depressing people.

It's like the DMV on wheels. It's just the most depressing people.

You're like, yeah, how did you even get on a bus? Oh, I've heard, like, the craziest shit. Like, the Greyhound is just, like, insane.

You're like, yeah, how did you even get on a bus? Oh, I've heard, like, the craziest shit. Like, the Greyhound is just, like, insane.

I used to have a bit about it because other comics have the observational airplane material, but I wasn't doing well enough to airplane. I'd open all my bits with Greyhound material. Oh, wow. Just got here from the Greyhound. I had a bit about how I was surprised the bus even stopped after that. Usually they just keep on going, hope the shit works itself out.

I used to have a bit about it because other comics have the observational airplane material, but I wasn't doing well enough to airplane. I'd open all my bits with Greyhound material. Oh, wow. Just got here from the Greyhound. I had a bit about how I was surprised the bus even stopped after that. Usually they just keep on going, hope the shit works itself out.

He's schizophrenic. It was a carny.

He's schizophrenic. It was a carny.

Yeah, no, he got out. He's been granted freedom. Full freedom? Yeah, no, it's crazy. When you read this, it'll make you appreciate America.

Yeah, no, he got out. He's been granted freedom. Full freedom? Yeah, no, it's crazy. When you read this, it'll make you appreciate America.

I was killing to prevent space aliens. But also, my bad. Pfft.

I was killing to prevent space aliens. But also, my bad. Pfft.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.