Rachel Botsman

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman's definition of a gut feeling is spot on. He says a gut feeling is thinking that you know without knowing why you do. Even though I've studied the ins and outs of trust for over a decade, I have still gone with my gut countless times. Sometimes things have gone right and other times things have gone horribly wrong.

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman's definition of a gut feeling is spot on. He says a gut feeling is thinking that you know without knowing why you do. Even though I've studied the ins and outs of trust for over a decade, I have still gone with my gut countless times. Sometimes things have gone right and other times things have gone horribly wrong.

So let me share with you a useful tool that will help you better read trust signals. It's called a trust pause. A trust pause is a healthy hesitation where we question if a person, a product, or a piece of information is worthy of our trust. If you find yourself wanting to make a trust decision quickly from your gut, take a trust pause and ask yourself the following questions.

So let me share with you a useful tool that will help you better read trust signals. It's called a trust pause. A trust pause is a healthy hesitation where we question if a person, a product, or a piece of information is worthy of our trust. If you find yourself wanting to make a trust decision quickly from your gut, take a trust pause and ask yourself the following questions.

Where is this confidence coming from? Am I seeing or hearing something I want or need to believe to be true? Is it because this person feels familiar or similar to me? And a really important question. What information do I still need to make a reliable decision? When you put these questions into practice, they will intentionally slow you down.

Where is this confidence coming from? Am I seeing or hearing something I want or need to believe to be true? Is it because this person feels familiar or similar to me? And a really important question. What information do I still need to make a reliable decision? When you put these questions into practice, they will intentionally slow you down.

Now, I know that in a world that's so driven by efficiency, this might sound counterintuitive, but speed can be the enemy of trust. I'm not suggesting you overthink every single trust decision. I mean, you'd never leave the house. But if it's something important, take a trust pause.

Now, I know that in a world that's so driven by efficiency, this might sound counterintuitive, but speed can be the enemy of trust. I'm not suggesting you overthink every single trust decision. I mean, you'd never leave the house. But if it's something important, take a trust pause.

For example, if you have some sensitive or confidential information to share with your boss, take a trust pause before speaking to them. If you're going for a new role in an organization, take a trust pause to speak to someone in a similar position. If you're starting an important contract with a new supplier, take a trust pause to speak to some other customers. Are you sure? Are you sure?

For example, if you have some sensitive or confidential information to share with your boss, take a trust pause before speaking to them. If you're going for a new role in an organization, take a trust pause to speak to someone in a similar position. If you're starting an important contract with a new supplier, take a trust pause to speak to some other customers. Are you sure? Are you sure?

That's at the heart of a trust pause. It might feel like you're wasting valuable time, but otherwise you may be left wondering why you didn't pause for a bit longer before giving your trust. Because once trust has been given, it's in the other person's hands to take care of or break. My dad could have taken a trust pause with Doris and it would have saved a lot of anguish and his Volvo.

That's at the heart of a trust pause. It might feel like you're wasting valuable time, but otherwise you may be left wondering why you didn't pause for a bit longer before giving your trust. Because once trust has been given, it's in the other person's hands to take care of or break. My dad could have taken a trust pause with Doris and it would have saved a lot of anguish and his Volvo.

Of course, there are regrets, but after everything, it hasn't really changed my dad. He just tends to trust people.

Of course, there are regrets, but after everything, it hasn't really changed my dad. He just tends to trust people.

Some people trust too much and too readily, like my dad. They have what psychologists call a high propensity to trust. They assume they won't be taken advantage of.

Some people trust too much and too readily, like my dad. They have what psychologists call a high propensity to trust. They assume they won't be taken advantage of.

Here's something else Maria helped me rethink. The existence of con artists like Doris actually says something very good about humanity. That may sound strange, but the only reason they succeed is because as people, for the most part, we are trusting.

Here's something else Maria helped me rethink. The existence of con artists like Doris actually says something very good about humanity. That may sound strange, but the only reason they succeed is because as people, for the most part, we are trusting.

As the late master magician Ricky Jay once said, you wouldn't want to live in a world where you couldn't be conned because it would mean you're living in a world where you never trusted anyone or anything.

As the late master magician Ricky Jay once said, you wouldn't want to live in a world where you couldn't be conned because it would mean you're living in a world where you never trusted anyone or anything.