Rachel Carlson

Allison co-teaches that Bridging Differences class with Rudy I mentioned earlier.

She told me that this moment, slowing down, breathing, can help us move into step two, which is coming back to our goals for the conversation.

Right, like she described it as an intention?

Yeah, why we're having it, what we're looking to get out of it.

Because research shows it's not super easy to change someone's mind.

And it can be pretty ineffective to spout facts at someone to try to do this.

Yeah.

But Allison and Rudy both told me we can find more common ground with someone

when we try to understand their perspective instead of trying to convince them that they're wrong.

And it kind of seems like they have the right idea, at least from a scientific perspective.

Research shows that people who engage in dialogues or conversations to learn, rather than to win, come away from those conversations with a more open perspective.

Yeah, that's a great question, Emily.

And it's our third step, empathy.

So that includes asking the person you're talking to questions about themselves, trying to humanize them to learn more than just their opinion on whatever topic it is that's bringing up these feelings.

Totally.

No, I think so, too.

I mean, it's a whole other rabbit hole.

But it is kind of like how Jeannie and Richard met in their singing group.

Like, they got to know each other's hobbies.

They learned about their families, their careers.