Rachel Forde

Oh, I love that.

I didn't know that.

Such a beautiful name.

Radiant warrior, actually, it means.

She is the light of our lives.

She is the absolute light of our lives.

My biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant was that I'd need a C-section.

And I don't know why this fear came into my head because I've had two children previously without needing a section.

And I remember voicing this concern to Kenneth the whole way through my pregnancy.

And he's like, I don't know why you're getting so obsessed with it.

It's not going to happen.

And if it happens, you're strong enough.

But that's something I've always struggled with, believing my own strength or my worth.

Lo and behold, the 12th of August last year, I needed a section, an emergency C-section.

And I suppose people might be wondering as to why I'd be so apprehensive about the section.

I'm an addict.

I will be an addict till the day they put me in the ground.

No matter if I use again or I don't use again.

Whether it's prescribed or controlled...

That doesn't make it easier for my disease to comprehend she's getting drugs again, you know?