Rachelle Hampton

had one of those Raven Baxter moments where I was just like, oh, fuck, it used to snow before Thanksgiving. But in the mythical land of 2015, New Hampshire, Vermont, wherever the fuck we are, it's snowing. It's snowing hard.

Unclear. Unclear. But she arrives at this inn and the innkeeper, whose name is escaping me at the moment, but does end up becoming kind of an important tertiary character at some point. Yeah. But the innkeeper is like, oh, I'm leaving. And asks her, where are you staying while you're figuring out where to sell the inn? And Kate's like, it's an inn. I'm staying here.

Maybe email someone to confirm.

Yes. They are never open during the 12 days of Christmas, which do I know when those start? I'm assuming it's 12 days before Christmas, but does it include the day after Christmas? I don't fucking know. Partridge in a pear tree? Mm-hmm. Yeah, exactly. But he's like, we're never open during the 12 days of Christmas, so no one can stay here. And Kate's like, I'm a hardened lawyer from the city.

I'm fucking staying here. And he's like, there's a ghost. I wouldn't recommend staying here. And she's like, fuck your ghost. Rachel. Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, I think we were both raised too Christian to not believe in ghosts and demons. I'm just like, you know what? I wish not to fuck with it. I don't want it near me. Don't bring it near me. I have a respectful distance. It's like the ocean. I respect her. I don't want to be near her. I will watch from a distance. So I would also not stay in a haunted hotel. But Kate does not believe in ghosts.

And she is too logical and too lawyerly to believe in ghosts. So she stays at this inn overnight. And surprise, surprise...

Oh, being trapped in a random house in New Hampshire, Vermont, Michigan, with a white man from the 1920s who's absolutely huge. With a fash haircut? No. With a fash haircut? No, exactly. Exactly. And the thing is, Kate does respond correctly to this in that she immediately calls the police. And she's like, there's a strange man. And she has a weird knife. Yeah, where did that come from?

Yeah. Make sure your alarm's on. And she's like, all right, well, fuck the police. She doesn't get that far. But this is kind of an ACAB movie.

Yes.

You're so right. I actually did forget about the fact that my man has giant cakes.

And it's like, you can tell where we're going. It's gonna be flirty at one point. I do appreciate that it was clearly enemies at first. There was not a single hint of sexual tension at first. It was just like, this is a ghost made into a man who is trying to get me out of this inn. And I...

Yes.

Yes, the innkeeper comes back. She calls the innkeeper. Yes. Kate calls the innkeeper and is like, yo, what the fuck is going on? Who is this man? And the innkeeper who has been keeping the inn for, it seems like his entire life. Yeah. Like it's giving Sam and Frodo. Yes. But so the innkeeper comes back and it's just like, yeah, so this is why I told you to leave.

He becomes corporal every 12 days of Christmas for 12 days. And when he comes back, his senses are heightened. So all he wants to do is eat food. And I was like, does he want to fuck? Yeah.

I was gonna say, there's so many kinds of eating that could be done when your senses are heightened.

But he just wants an apple at this point in time.

Correct. But you're right. This is giving like made for women porn. So there's an opportunity out there for someone.

Sharks, I'm coming to you.