Rachelle Hampton

Because again, we don't know. We don't know. We have no idea. But then... And something we haven't mentioned yet is that a lot of this movie relies on the concept of property lines for some reason. Like, Daniel can't leave the property. Every single time he tries to leave, he, like... Disappears and gets ported back in.

Why does the ghost respect property lines? Also, what happens if the house gets rezoned? None of this makes any sense to me. What are the laws of ghosts? None of it makes any sense. But we do know that the laws are broken and that Daniel is free because as Kate walks out into this beautiful snowy morning, who comes walking from the forest past the property line where he previously could not go?

But Daniel made... like fully human in 2015.

He's also wearing a stupid hat. It looks so bad. This is like, he looks the worst in the scene. And I don't know why they did this to him. It makes no sense. He has been caked up and hot the entire time. And now suddenly he's wearing a stupid hat. I guess he saw her fuck ass ponytail and was like, you know what? Vibes match. He was like, this is a safe space.

He's like, I found someone to match my freak. Yeah.

His ears are cold. Yeah, he's finally, I guess, feeling the cold. I don't know. So he's wearing this stupid hat and they run together and they get together. And from here, I have a lot of questions. And I think that's why I love this movie so much. I have so many questions. It's because it just, it ends and you're like, okay. So does he have a social security number now?

How do you turn somebody who has been dead since like the early 1900s into a fully legal resident of the United States? Like she's a lawyer, so I'm sure she has some method. Will he age? Is he just this age forever? Does he have any skills? Clearly he can go across property lines. I guess he could be a bartender. I guess they're just going to run the inn.

Also, how are you going to explain where this man came from? To the people in your life.

Has he even seen a car?

Yes. And so this is the point of the movie where I'm like, I would watch a sequel. I would watch at least a 30 minute epilogue of what happens of introducing Daniel to the real world of 2015. Because I... I am just like, I want to see him go to the DMV. I want to see him learn how to drive. I want to see him try a Cheeto. I want to see him try Sriracha.

Like, I want to see him take a 10 milligram edible. I have so many questions. Does he know what skinny girl liquor is? Like, I have so many questions.

I want to show him the Real Housewives of New York. Like, I want to show him the Titanic film.

No, literally. I'm like, what happens when this man sees a Black person? Yeah, bad. Like, can you imagine being like, okay, so there's this man named Martin Luther King. He had a dream. This is important for you to know. Yeah.

Now there's a Black president. And the thing is, this movie came out in 2015. Oh, yeah, there was a Black president.

Like, the president is black. And then you immediately go into Trump after this? Like, I'm just like, what? Tell me about their life afterwards.

I don't know. I'm like, does this work on Twilight Rules where, like, some random shit happens and suddenly you're allowed to have a baby? Like... Does she even want children?

Maybe she doesn't. Maybe the N is their child. Also, they never fuck. Not even once. I know. I know. It's so funny because I described this movie as a movie where a woman fucks a ghost, but she actually doesn't fuck him once. But spiritually, she does.

It's a really chaste movie, but somehow the vibe of it being the prelude to a porn movie really makes it feel far more... Yeah. I'm like, nothing happens, but like...

I'm like, I'm gonna be honest. That man has not felt the touch of a woman in a hundred years, and you're telling me he's not bricked the fuck up right now?

And they were like, okay, she's going to take a nap and then we'll come back to this at a later date.