Raina Cohen

And that feels, you know, reasonable given what my capacity is.

Man, simple question that feels hard.

I think good friend is going to depend on what you're, like who you are to each other.

When I think about, you know, the friends I run into at swing dance, my expectations of what makes them a good friend are very different than my absolute closest friends who I see all the time.

But I think in general, showing

care for one another showing affection not holding back about how you feel about one another which is something that is very common in friendships to let a lot of things go unsaid not calling it quits when someone is going through something difficult or when you within the friendship are going through something difficult and

I'm just thinking about if you were talking to a 13-year-old, we would be like, of course, you're going to spend a ton of your brain space thinking about your friends.

Peers really matter.

But why is it that as adults, we don't think that you should be?

That shouldn't be your focus.

I mean, that it's...

I think it's just that's not the reality for a lot of people that their friends do matter a lot and they, you know, ground their lives and cause heartache sometimes.

But there is really this mismatch between what we're told is what an adult should care about and what we actually do.

The specific obstacle that I feel ashamed about is my husband and I were like thinking very seriously about moving in with a couple of our close friends.

And at first we talked about buying a home and realized that that was just not going to be feasible given the timeline of when our friends were going to move to D.C.

from where they had been in Massachusetts.

And I was like, well, you know, if we can't buy and we have to rent, is that really a good move?

Yeah.

you know, you and I, we really, like, we want to be able to save for a down payment.

This will slow down the process because, you know, we won't have as cheap of an apartment.