Randall Park

Their minds now accessed every history lesson, every blog, every Googled answer to any argument we had.

They'd long ago surpassed us.

Go to sleep, we yelled, and immediately felt horrible about our parenting.

Later, we'd peek into their room, see their eyes closed, their faces resembling the toddlers we once knew, and we'd sigh.

Yet behind their closed eyelids, how could we be sure they were ever sleeping

We decided to have the chips removed.

We returned to the store and waited through endless lines only to have a young technician hand us a pamphlet portraying two sad-looking teenagers.

Yes, we could have the chips removed, but it came with disastrous side effects, anxiety, social isolation, depression, suicide.

We were reminded about our service contracts, the ones we'd signed but never had actually read.

Are you kidding?

We asked when the young salesperson showed us the contract.

Would we really be paying this off for the next five years?

Yes, the boy said.

Even if the chip was removed?

Yes, he said.

What if we canceled our plan?

We'd still be paying it off, he told us again, smiling gently.

We searched online and found blogs by parents explaining the tedious process of creating parental blocks.

All we had to do was sync our accounts by left blinking and scrolling right with our eyes.

We stopped reading and typed, parental blocks for parents without implants.