Renee
Appearances
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, I don't know if she knew or not. I pray to God she had no idea, but I'm also not that naive.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
in that because I don't have a great relationship with my dad and my stepdad has been in my life for, you know, 10 plus years. And he's really been an answer to prayer for me in so many ways. So I'm just absolutely gutted and shattered. And I, I don't know, I don't know what a relationship with him would look like moving forward. Um, I don't know if I want that. I don't know. I just,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
I feel very heartbroken, very betrayed, very trapped and very, very stuck. So I'd love any advice that you have.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
It was about a year old, so I was very much an adult.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
he was picking me up from the airport. I'm originally from California and my flight got in very, very late. It was delayed. And so he picked me up from the airport and I heard a notification go off on his phone. And I asked him, I'm like, who's messaging you at like one in the morning? What's going on? And so he told me he's got friends that he used to work with that are contracting a
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
over in the Middle East and they sent him motorcycle videos. Okay, no big deal. So we sat down for breakfast, dinner, whatever meal that was at one in the morning. And I took his phone, and his password is my birthday. And so I looked at the message, and it was, in fact, just a motorcycle video. But he had another message that was kind of suspicious, and I asked him about it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
And he just had some excuse for, oh, yeah, that's a girl that I knew from high school or whatever. And then I, I don't know why I did this, but I looked at his text messages and one of the first messages that he had was a picture that he had sent himself. And so I opened that and that's where I found the picture.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
I did have a chance to talk to him about it the next day because right then I was absolutely shocked. I didn't see anything about it. He saw you open the picture? No, he saw me open the messages, but he didn't see me open the text message thread the picture. Okay. I just exit out of everything, put the phone down, flip it back over to him. And we ate breakfast in almost silence.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
So, um, I tried to not be overly emotional about it. Why? I don't, I don't know. Um,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, and so I sat down with him, and I said, hey, I found something inappropriate on your phone that's concerning. And he was like, yeah, what did you see? And so I told him, well, I saw the picture that you sent to yourself. And he said, oh, yeah, well... Yeah. Yeah. You know, it was it's an app and I don't know, just playing around. I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
And just, you know, kind of wishy washy waffling back and forth of, you know, there's not an excuse for that. And so I asked him, I said, do you see me as a stepdaughter? Because that's not, that's not what a step, like that's not a fatherly, you know, that's not something that a father figure would do. And he said, yeah, I know you're absolutely right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
That's not something that a father figure would do. I do see you as a stepdad, but he couldn't look at me. And so I don't believe him. Like this does shatter my image of who he is in my life. But I just told him like, hey, just delete the picture, delete the app. Like I don't, I don't want, I'm not going to make a massive deal about this. I'm not going to tell my mom.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
I found a picture of myself on my stepdad's phone. He had put a picture that I had posted on Facebook through an app that made me look completely naked. I'm just absolutely gutted. Ugh.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
I'm so conflicted because he... part of me, like I don't want to disqualify all the good that he's done in my life. But also like when I look back at our entire relationship, I was holding back. Like I think I knew something was off for a while. I didn't want to hug him. I didn't want to like tell him I love you. Um, he, again, he's been like a really good influence, but now I just feel dirty.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Hi, nothing much. How are you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like if I actually show emotion, it'll be like completely the end of a relationship with him at all.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, nothing much. Just enjoying the sunshine out here in Raleigh.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, I had an unfortunate situation where I... Found a picture of myself on my stepdad's phone and he had put a picture that I had posted on Facebook through an app that made me and the friend that was in the picture as well look like we were completely naked. It's my world kind of shattered.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, that's true.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah, no, I think you're absolutely correct. And I'm just really frustrated at myself for not like seeing what you're saying sooner of like, you're right. I have been chained to a predator and have made the most of the situation. But like, why did I not know?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Like I knew, you know, as you said, like my God told me, I just didn't, I don't know if I didn't care or didn't want, like, I'm just, I'm angry with myself. I'm frustrated.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Um, he's been in my life as a stepdad since 20, but he's been in my life since I was like six or seven. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
There was one time I remember I, um, I was rooming with, He was living with my mom and I was staying with his step, his daughter, my stepsister at his house. But he wasn't living there. And there was one night that he did come get into bed with me. Nothing happened, but he just slept there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
Yeah. I'm just, I'm really scared about telling my mom because, you know, ever since I was, ever since they got together, um, she's been telling me like, you don't deserve a man as good as him in your life. And she's always felt like she has to compete with me for him. And. But you know what? You know what? She was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but now I'm seeing that like, wow, she saw. I mean, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Over the duration of my pregnancy, he turned into someone I didn't recognize. He was very abusive and began doing drugs and drinking heavily with this girl. Our son was born in February of 2023, and he was not super present. So I was on maternity leave, and I decided to go visit my family over here in Seattle and get some support from them. And at that time, he moved her into our family home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
And so I could not go back home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
So their child was born in January of 2024. Okay. And I actually just recently found out she's pregnant again. Are you divorced officially? Yes, our divorce is finalized in December. Do you have full custody?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Yes, yeah. It's in our parenting plan that he has to get some help before he can be involved in our son's life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
No, no. So I live in Seattle. They live about five hours away. And they're actually not together anymore. Of course they're not.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Um, no. So he actually stopped paying on it. So it went into foreclosure. Luckily, um, the deed, like it's only in his name. Oh, okay. I help pay for things. Um, so that'll just hit his credit, which is fine. Um, And then, I mean, I moved over to Seattle. I have built a life for my son and I, I guess.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
I'm just struggling in holding firm boundaries with his family because they have condoned and kind of dealt with the situation.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, yeah. I have my family's close by, so it's nice to have them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
How can I move on from my ex-husband's affair and focus on raising my child? He was engaging in an affair with a girl from work. And at that time, he moved her into our family home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Yeah, no, I don't expect it to at all.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Yeah. I mean, we have pictures up of him with him for like the first two months he was around. But he hasn't, I mean, he's not old enough to really grasp that understanding yet. But that is definitely one thing that I'm struggling with is telling him when he's older. So I don't want to lie to him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, yeah. Not my bio dad. I don't know my bio dad, so I think that kind of aids in this feeling that I have.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Okay. But yeah, my dad that's raised me since I was little, he's very involved, and my brothers are great with him, so he definitely has those male figures in his life, which I'm very thankful for.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Hi, Dr. John. Thank you for taking my call.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Yes, I would love to do that for them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
So my question is, how can I move on from my ex-husband's affair and focus on raising my child?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
Oh, yeah. All right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband’s Mistress Got Pregnant After I Had Our Baby
So I kind of wrote it all down, so I'll say it really quick. Yeah, read it. I wrote, my ex and I met in 2015 through work. We dated, and in 2021, we bought our house and got married. In May of 2022, I found out I was pregnant. Around the same time, I also learned he was engaging in an affair with a girl from work who is 10 years younger than him.