Reverend Lou Sheldon

Top of the morning to you. Just a wee bit there, laddie. Pleasant conditions back through.

The Irish people are not homosexuals.

The homosexuals want to rain on the St. Patrick's Day parade.

They do mouth-to-mouth, tongue-to-tongue kissing. They grab each other in the rectum and in the private parts of the front.

Very majestic, very glorious, very religious, and a lot of dignity.

When homosexuals say that leprechauns could be gay, there is no scientific basis for that.

Of course.

Oh, no, no. A lot of people like to prance.

My father was English. My mother was an Orthodox Jew.

Anybody they can land in their court, they're going to use. They might go after Liam Neeson. They certainly might go after Liam Neeson. U2? They may go after U2. They could even go after Rosie O'Donnell. They already have Rosie O'Donnell. She's already gay. They got her.