Rob Dial

So the more frequently that you think a certain way, the easier it becomes for your brain to continue thinking that way.

And over time, anxiety that you have inside of your body becomes normal.

Anxiety feels like home.

It also depends on your childhood too.

Like if you grew up in a household that was unpredictable and had a lot of chaos in it, your brain and body might have learned to associate like close relationships or love with anxiety.

And so going back to the example I gave just a minute ago with like the fake scenario of you and your spouse getting into an argument,

that actually puts your body into a familiar state with someone that you love.

And so if your parents were like that and you felt like, oh my gosh, there was chaos inside of the house, it feels natural for you to create chaos in your relationship, even if there's no reason to have chaos in the relationship.

Another example is like, I hear a lot of people that I coach and work with are in just so much fear.

And it's like, they could be a very successful person, super successful CEO, but they still, their life is run by fear.

A lot of people who are very successful are run by fear.

And they usually get it from their parents.

So if like one of your parents was full of fear, and the way that they like, quote unquote, controlled you was through fear, which...

A lot of parents do.

Instead of explaining, hey, this is why you don't want to do this.

This is actually what you should do instead.

A lot of parents just take the easy way out and they just scare the shit out of their kids so that they don't have to explain to them.

And it's just easier to scare the kid than it is to explain to them over and over again why they shouldn't do it.

And so they scare them so that they do what they want.

right?