Ronaldo Mercado

Hey, how's it going? I'm gonna have some fun. You guys think about killing yourself? Anybody? Okay, a couple honest people. That's cool. I think about it. I think about it. I don't know if I'm gonna do anything about it, but I think about it. I think about suicide like I think about home renovation. I'm gonna do it eventually.

But let's be honest, it would be a lot easier if I paid somebody to do it for me. Suicide's fun. Not fun. Interesting. Suicide's interesting. How we try to prevent it is interesting. I was driving over a bridge that was over this big old river. And right when you get halfway across the bridge, right in the middle of the bridge, they have a little sign with the number for the suicide hotline.

Which seems like it's too late. You could have put it at the beginning of the bridge. In the middle. You might as well put the number at the bottom of the river and it would do the exact same thing. You could take a QR code for better help, put it on a bullet, put it in a gun, put it in your mouth, pull the trigger. It would do the same thing as that sign on that bridge. They're not doing it up.

It's too late at that point. That's like putting an ad for condoms in a delivery room. That's like putting an ad for birth control at the bottom of a flight of steps.

No, my dad is Mexican. My dad is, well, he's missing, but he is. He's old school. He wasn't kicked out of the country. He went to buy cigarettes and never came back.

Yeah, he wasn't deported. He was Newported. Okay. Wow.

I supply molding to Home Depots around the area. You supply molding to Home Depot. I'm one of the ones on the inside. I'm good. Okay.

No, my girlfriend cut my hair. That's what it is. That's what it is. Which is one of the most Mexican things about me, by the way.

Yeah, she's white. Where'd you meet her at? We actually met, well, we met for the first time when we were in elementary school, but we started dating.

We started dating in high school, senior year of high school, we started dating.

Nine years. Wow, amazing. What does she do? She cleans Airbnbs.

Uh, we like to hang out. We play video games at home a little bit, you know, stuff like that. She comes out to shows sometimes, hangs out with me, you know, stuff like that. That's what we do for fun.

Guys, keep making them think they can touch your butthole, but don't let them do it. Whoa. Just, you know what I mean? Just give them a little, go, oh, no, no, no. No, no. Go, oh, you want this? Mm-mm, no. Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, you guys came through St. Louis, came to Helium Comedy Club. Wow.

I was like nine months into comedy. I was 20 years old and like 60 pounds lighter. It was nice.

I think if you don't think about it, you're lying. Everybody thinks about it a little bit. Again, I've never had something in my mouth or stood on the edge of the bridge, but I've been like, you know, I've had some stuff in my mouth, but not a gun, okay? I've just... No, I've never tried to kill myself, but, you know, you think about it.

I mean, I just get kind of sad sometimes. That's about it. You know, everybody gets sad a little bit, you know, and then you go, I want to get out of this town with my friends. And then you feel better. That's that's how I grew up. Interesting.

Well, I do, I like to go to hardcore shows, and I'm a, hell yeah.

Yeah, I like to stage dive and mosh and stuff like that, and I'm a BMX guy as well, I go to skate parks, ride bikes at skate parks and stuff. Hell yeah, look at that, look at you.