Ronaldo Mercado
Appearances
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Hey, how's it going? I'm gonna have some fun. You guys think about killing yourself? Anybody? Okay, a couple honest people. That's cool. I think about it. I think about it. I don't know if I'm gonna do anything about it, but I think about it. I think about suicide like I think about home renovation. I'm gonna do it eventually.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
But let's be honest, it would be a lot easier if I paid somebody to do it for me. Suicide's fun. Not fun. Interesting. Suicide's interesting. How we try to prevent it is interesting. I was driving over a bridge that was over this big old river. And right when you get halfway across the bridge, right in the middle of the bridge, they have a little sign with the number for the suicide hotline.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Which seems like it's too late. You could have put it at the beginning of the bridge. In the middle. You might as well put the number at the bottom of the river and it would do the exact same thing. You could take a QR code for better help, put it on a bullet, put it in a gun, put it in your mouth, pull the trigger. It would do the same thing as that sign on that bridge. They're not doing it up.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
It's too late at that point. That's like putting an ad for condoms in a delivery room. That's like putting an ad for birth control at the bottom of a flight of steps.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
No, my dad is Mexican. My dad is, well, he's missing, but he is. He's old school. He wasn't kicked out of the country. He went to buy cigarettes and never came back.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
I supply molding to Home Depots around the area. You supply molding to Home Depot. I'm one of the ones on the inside. I'm good. Okay.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
No, my girlfriend cut my hair. That's what it is. That's what it is. Which is one of the most Mexican things about me, by the way.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Yeah, she's white. Where'd you meet her at? We actually met, well, we met for the first time when we were in elementary school, but we started dating.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
We started dating in high school, senior year of high school, we started dating.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Uh, we like to hang out. We play video games at home a little bit, you know, stuff like that. She comes out to shows sometimes, hangs out with me, you know, stuff like that. That's what we do for fun.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Guys, keep making them think they can touch your butthole, but don't let them do it. Whoa. Just, you know what I mean? Just give them a little, go, oh, no, no, no. No, no. Go, oh, you want this? Mm-mm, no. Yes.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Yeah, you guys came through St. Louis, came to Helium Comedy Club. Wow.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
I was like nine months into comedy. I was 20 years old and like 60 pounds lighter. It was nice.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
I think if you don't think about it, you're lying. Everybody thinks about it a little bit. Again, I've never had something in my mouth or stood on the edge of the bridge, but I've been like, you know, I've had some stuff in my mouth, but not a gun, okay? I've just... No, I've never tried to kill myself, but, you know, you think about it.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
I mean, I just get kind of sad sometimes. That's about it. You know, everybody gets sad a little bit, you know, and then you go, I want to get out of this town with my friends. And then you feel better. That's that's how I grew up. Interesting.
KILL TONY
KT #721 - JIMMY CARR
Yeah, I like to stage dive and mosh and stuff like that, and I'm a BMX guy as well, I go to skate parks, ride bikes at skate parks and stuff. Hell yeah, look at that, look at you.